Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Trapper: You won't throw a fit.
Hawkeye: Then I'll throw a berserk with a strong resemblance to a fit.
Paraphrased from M*A*S*H "Adam's Ribs"
We're losing another editor to their dream job (teaching). That brings our in-house editor number down to 5...and out of those, 2 work odd hours and one is completely dedicated to a specific project. So I'm feeling a little stressed and needed to post a whine. Because on top of that, we're finally getting caught up, which means less work, which means the higher-ups may decide we don't need as many editors as we'd like. The potential for that development doesn't amuse me. If my boss decides to jump ship after he gets his MBA this month, he's going to find his home rolled in toilet paper and his motorcycle up a tree.
It also helps punctuate that I'm not doing what I'd like to be doing and makes me jealous of those that are able to manage it, which makes me ornery...so I'm whining. Wah.
Friday, December 26, 2008
I'm grateful for:
1) Les's grandma, who gave me the plane ticket money so I could go see Nanie home.
2) The home, however messy and broken down, that Les and I've made for ourselves (because it's really nice to come home to).
3) The snow that started falling as we left the church to head to the cemetery with/for Nanie, which continued all day, giving CT a foot of the white stuff and a true winter wonderland feel.
4) Being back in Florida, which I realize now that I bitch about way too much.
5) The Christmas bonus, however small, that my company saw fit to give out this year.
6) Generous relatives who fulfilled several of my Christmas gift wishes.
7) The look of love in my mommie's eyes as she cares for her new puppy.
8) The epiphanies I had about my health while on my travels, after days of arthritic pain and mouth breathing from exertion, barometric pressure, etc.
9) Having a job to come back to.
10) Paying $1.39 at the pump on the way home yesterday (SC).
Connecticut was exhausting and sad and blissful and different...I haven't seen snow like that since 1985, and Meara's never seen it fall, so we diffused our grief quickly upon arriving back at my Uncle Dan's by going out several times to play in it. We took picture after picture, she made her first snow angel...it was really amazing and did my heart good. Thank goodness I brought my red wool coat, because it was perfect for the conditions outside...the snow started to pour right when we arrived at the cemetery and naturally the little canopy over the gravesite couldn't fit everyone, so I was standing on the outskirts and even in a dress, wasn't cold at all.
South Carolina was harder, quite a bit of family drama there, but we made the best of it. I think it was harder for me just because the trips were back to back...got one night in my own bed and then it was back to sleeping on couches and being what people needed me to be. Got back yesterday, dropped our stuff at home, and went straight to Mom's for Christmas dinner with Meara, Cyril, Alice, Hunter (his face is changing! 8 years old, my foot, he looks at least 10!), and the new puppy Chloe, who is so frickin' adorable it defies explanation.
Back at work, glad for the weekend...came home to a broken fridge and a needy cat. Looking forward to getting back to normal.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Been living in the future this week. You'll be happy to know I've managed to make enough money to send my kids to the Waldorf school in Chapel Hill, NC, and we have a little house with a decent herb and vegetable garden in this future...
It's f-ing 70F outside. I hate Florida.
Thursdays are ok though, there's this "home stretch" feeling to them, and the company Christmas party is tomorrow night. After 9 years, it's pretty pat, but I'm looking forward to dressing up a bit, free country club food, getting Husby to smell like Drakkar :)
Sunday, November 30, 2008
It was a nice Thanksgiving. I 86d the acorn squash and we're still up to our ears in leftovers. I burned the pie, but it was still edible. Gonna have to freeze the sweet potatoes so they don't go to waste.
We need to consolidate the recycling and take out the trash today, and tidy. Can't believe it's Sunday already. Trying not to be too down about that. I woke up thinking about things, and I hope to assuage my guilt over not getting enough done this weekend by sitting down to make some lists, really think about the next year and what I'd like to have happen versus what will probably happen. Kind of parse my dreams against reality, see what sticks.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
So as adulthood presented itself, I created my Thanksgiving. We travel at Christmas, so Thanksgiving is mine. I put the Macy's parade on, open up the house if it's cool, and spend the day baking. The last couple of years, Les and I bought a turkey breast and smoked it out on the grill. I experiment with side dishes and desserts (that I've spent the last 2 weeks mulling over) and make almost everything from scratch.
This year's menu is complete and I have just a couple of things to grab at the store tonight, got most of it last night...we're doing another turkey breast (Les likes dark and white meat, I'm a white meat gal only, so with just the 2 of us, it cuts down on waste), I'm making smashed sweet potatoes (Barefoot Contessa), acorn squash ala Paula Deen, and broccoli souffle (Southern Living). The potatoes and squash are because I can't be trusted in Native Sun, the broccoli is because we needed something green. Breakfast will be quiche Lorraine, I'm trying a blue cheese mousse dip with bread and chips for in-between, and dessert is Paula's Apple Butter Pumpkin Pie, which is VERY well received in my house. I'm still contemplating bread from scratch too, but my stomach threatens to explode at the thought, so may have to wait til the weekend to dabble in that.
Mom and Meara head to Ohio tomorrow for a family reunion on Mom's side, Cyril and his sig oth are both working, so there's absolutely no guilt attached in not spending this holiday with family. Talk about your win-wins! Ah, you know what I mean...we'll relax, watch the dog show after the parade, putter, ponder cleaning, decide against it...it's nice together-time for Les and I. The menu feels pretty indulgent, but we only do it once a year. Have a wonderful holiday!
P.S. If you have some prayers to spare, please direct them toward my Nanie. She's Dad's Mom, 97 years young and winding down...latest word is that she's stopped eating and sleeps most of the time, and she's a DNR so that means they're letting her fade. Having her possibly leaving us soon has torn the band-aid off my Dad grief, so I wouldn't mind a little positive energy too.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Work's been busy, quite frustrating, and a little scary. But things will lighten just a bit as the holidays ensue. I'm getting in the mood, though I haven't a clue yet where the money will come from to purchase/make gifts this year. Thank goodness for my micropromotion; we're not caught up yet, but it's allowing us a certain amount of freedom in spending that's heartening. I'm looking at inexpensive, charitable places for gift ideas, like The Hunger Site, and I'm not knitting a damn thing this year for anybody. Barely picked up needles in September and October, and it's just not worth the stress, trying to make stuff for Christmas. As for holiday cards, I'm thinking of making my own from the cardstock I recycled from my company when we changed our name.
Hit Native Sun last night for the Annual Open House. Holy-crap-on-a-gluten-free-cracker! I figured it would be busy and I was still blown away...got there at 6 on the dot, there were 2 cops directing traffic, and the line wrapped halfway around the building. The place was a mob scene, but the food was delicious, they gave out some recipes I look forward to trying, and I stocked up on veggies for Thanksgiving and one or two other items. I'll definitely be hitting that place more; I'm finally in a place where wanting to eat healthier is a goal and I'm not turning my nose up at stuff just b/c it claims to be health food. Their organic ale was yummy too; may have to grab a bottle of that before we start trying again this coming month :)
P.S. Having a Starbucks a stone's throw from my office is getting dangerous >:)
The plants finally made it out to the back porch, and if the weather holds, I'll be drying clothes out there more and they'll have less chance of getting neglected. I'll start a fresh batch of herbs soon, just have to unearth the apartment a little more. Came to my senses about having the family over for Christmas dessert...the place may be clean by then, but you can't realistically expunge 10 years of smoke buildup. But I actually did a little work in the dining area last weekend, and it'll help motivate me to do a little more this weekend. A little at a time...
Happy weekend everybody!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
But it gets me thinking...about how easy (and fun) it would be to cook a soup or light stew on the weekends for dipping into from the freezer, how salads aren't seriously complicated, how lunch doesn't have to be just sandwiches, and with just a little planning in the evenings, I can set myself up for nutrition and saving money on the midday meal. So frickin' basic, and I don't even have kids to distract me yet. Setting these habits in place now could make a world of difference down the road, regardless of whether there's small people on the scene.
Two days off this week just cuz...Saturday Mom's treating Meara and I to a half day at a local spa, that'll be nice!
Friday, November 07, 2008
This weekend will bring new recipes, cleaning, organizing, relaxing, planting, and dreaming...may yours have the same!
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
So I've decided that I'm like my Uncle Mike. The family line is: tell him a joke on Thursday, he'll get it in church on Sunday. My problem's slightly more intellectual, and it's why I don't like debating. I know what my beliefs are, but when I'm asked to defend them, the Dale Carnegie and my convictions vacate the premises, leaving me stammering.
I steamed a bit yesterday as I listened to a coworker's story of how he nipped his kindergarten-aged son's Obama crush in the bud. He brought it down to the kid's level, saying "you know how you get gold stars for doing well in school? Would you want to share those with kids who hadn't worked as hard?" Your basic conservative's argument against socialism: why should I work hard and not get as rewarded, while others slack and get rewarded? I wanted to chime in, but knew I wouldn't be able to verbalize it more than with the highly erudite comeback of "well, that's a load."
I'm standing at the bathroom mirror this morning, 18 hours later, deciding on earrings and checking that my bangs are presentable, when the lightbulb hits: that kind of thinking is selfish, it's every man for himself and screw the folks who don't have my wherewithal. And I don't believe that, haven't for awhile...I'm seeing the bigger picture, wanting to leave this world better than I found it, not just for my children, but for others, and that's going to mean working not just for myself, but with the idea of how my actions will affect the country and the world.
So other than my time-lapse brain issues, I'm in such a fantastic mood today. I can't wait to get home tonight and read and play on the computer and think and dream. I bought a NY Times, a Wall Street Journal, and our local POS newspaper. I feel "Melinda-inspired"—she's the writer behind Elements in Time/One Green Generation; her website is a wonderful resource, chock full of ideas on how to live more locally and save the planet in the process. I want to go home and reorganize my planting materials so I can start my herb garden fresh. I want to dig into the dining area so that our apartment will feel livable again. I want to eat better and exercise, so I won't get winded just thinking about keeping up with small ones. I want to budget so we can move in January of 2010. I want...
But alas, must get to work so that that budgeting thing is more than just a dream...
Congratulations America! Let's get to work!
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
So it was with a glad heart that I went and voted today...first time in ages I didn't feel like I was voting for the lesser of two evils. This change in me is fairly new as political changes go—I voted for Bush II in 2000, for pete's sake! But today is so important, if the tide goes our way. It sucks that the Current Occupant (as he's coined by Garrison Keillor) has screwed things up so badly, that it'll take Obama (please, gods!) his first term of office just to get sh*t under control...but oh well, take the good with the bad.
It's hard to think about things finally opening up in this country, when I'm voting for Obama on the same ballot that wants to declare marriage as one man, one woman only, in the state of Florida. We've got such a long way to go still...and I want to move to states even redder than Florida eventually. But I'm finally gaining confidence in my beliefs, and I look to the future with hope.
Happy Election Day, folks!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Actually it's 55 out there right now...yes folks, 55 at 1:15 in the afternoon in Florida. I'm in heaven. Wore a sweater to work. Having an attack of startitis and can't wait to go home and start a pair of fingerless gloves or work the blue mittens I've started. Thinking about baking with apples and squash. Fall, for however short a time, has arrived in Jax!
I'm so happy I could squeak. I didn't want to go to work this morning, first day with the boss back, never mind how difficult it's been lately, but the minute I felt that air as I was walking down my stairs, my face got that big goofy cold-weather grin it gets and I felt instantly better. Just ate lunch outside. May have to go out mid-afternoon for a breather >:)
Monday, October 27, 2008
Slept a lot this past weekend...not sure how I feel about that...
There's something really poignant about drinking your coffee from your dead dad's thermos.
Yeah, I know...that was random...
Thing is, there's nothing to report of late...been working my tail off (for our living), and rested well this past weekend, so very little got accomplished...plants still residing (and withering) on the front porch, no plans for replanting yet, dining area still a FEMA site...I'm having a hard time these days. Hopefully I can do the ole bootstraps thing and continue to chip away at stuff...one day at a time...
I am back to knitting, which is really nice...almost done with my first pair of real socks for ME, and busying myself with a garter scarf...thinking about other UFOs...it's a comfort.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Southern Women's Show - Exhausting! Hilarious! Had no idea the Fireman's Fashion Show was like THAT! More details when I'm more coherent...real Italian ice...great brochures of all the tourist spots in NC, VA, etc...
The stress-level increase at work has me feeling pretty raw...it's going to be a tough week, because the boss is out Thursday and Friday to get hitched...lots of little loose ends to keep from unraveling, when I'm feeling pretty unraveled already...or maybe the term is 'frogged'?
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Forgot my camera, and may not have time at lunch to go get it :(
Gotta buy needles too...I've been coveting a set of 10" 13s to start a scarf with the almost-puce-but-surprisingly-not-ugly yarn my Mominlaw got me for my b'day...
Busybusybusy at work...we're crazy behind, because we decided in the middle of the clusterf*ck that is the US economy to revamp our entire style of creating websites so that they no longer look like crap. The upshot is decent looking sites that take twice as long to build, and that's no longer acceptable to the bottom line, so things are ACK-stressful ...
I miss my lithium...
And my husband...been working late every night this week. Bleh!
So Saturday's hanging with Mommie, collecting brochures, entering sweepstakes' and raffles, sampling food...it's a blast. Sunday I have to devote to paperwork :( My new FSA (flexible spending account for medical) requires receipts for almost everything (dorks!) and I'm seriously behind on that, so gotta catch up before they decide to put a hold on my card or something. Bleh again! But I hope to replant the catnip and move my little green guys from the front porch to the back, and maybe even transplant my filing cabinets too. Ah dreams of a weekend...
Friday, October 10, 2008
The plants are withering from neglect, and I'm kicking myself for tossing all the old plastic sheeting we had when we were clearing out the house...old shower curtains and pool floats and such, because they would've been perfect for securing around my lower porch to keep out the rains, as I'm planning to move my plants out there for the winter. Ah well, plastic can't cost too much. I'm letting the tomatoes go to seed, if they'll even do that, and in the coming weeks I'll be mixing some fresh topsoil with the organic stuff I had leftover so that I can start some fresh herbs. The basil and chives may be the only things that survived the neglect of September.
I haven't been knitting either, and that I'm starting to feel...picked something up the other night finally and the feeling of peace that came over me as I worked was something I didn't realize I'd missed. I've definitely been a pinch more stressed in my new position—although it's nothing I can't handle, it's a reminder once again of how much I miss my lithium...gets me wondering how I'm going to make it another year-plus without it...can't go back on it while trying for babies, and can't go back on it until after breastfeeding if/when a blessed event occurs...I know I can do it, I know it'll all be worth it, but it gets hard sometimes, is all...
Anyway, taking care of me this weekend...Lil Sis is in town too! Yay!
Monday, October 06, 2008
Mom's completely moved into her new place, but she had a back procedure done last week (which isn't taking AGAIN), which has her unpacking slower than norm. Meara will flip when she comes to visit this weekend; she'll have the rest of those boxes unpacked before she sits down to talk Friday night :) Kid's got some neatness issues...
I got that new position at work, which means no more time to dick around on the Web during work hours. Blessing and a curse. Job security on the one hand, way behind on all my personal junk on the other. Definitely worth it though; can't stand what the economy's going through right now, and getting this new role will keep my wanderlust firmly in check - so I can focus on our next moving goals a year plus from now...
Got plenty of rest this weekend, and let myself grieve a little more for Dad...it was like my brain could finally take a step back from the overwhelming work of the past month, and take in why all that work had to occur. Didn't help that I was watching "Winter Passing"...indie flick from a couple of years back, about dealing with death. Anyway, still feeling a little rumpled up spirit-wise, but rallying...
October's my absolute favorite time of year, and I'm determined to make this a good month.
Monday, September 29, 2008
I'm glad it's fall, just wish I lived elsewhere. I love that it's almost October already, and I'm getting the itch to bake stuff involving apples and pumpkin, squash and breads. Saying prayers that the temperature starts dropping...
Friday, September 26, 2008
Just bought my ticket to see the Yarn Harlot on 10/16...hoping to find her new book this weekend...
Check out KnitWitz for more information on the Yarn Harlot's visit to Jacksonville :)
Monday, September 22, 2008
At this point in "life post-Dad," the catharsis has past and been replaced with something else...I'm not sure what, but I experienced it this past weekend, as we set out our belongings for strangers to paw through and run off with, for pennies on the dollar. There was an initial feeling of violation, coupled with that fear of change feeling, because of course, we wouldn't be doing this if we didn't have to...in Lyons utopia, Dad's still with us and the garage isn't an issue. The misanthropy I felt had to be curbed fast though, because in spite of the early rain, folks showed up in droves Saturday morning and there was no time for emotion. We made enough on Saturday alone to almost fully finance Mom's move, and it's a good thing, because we learned that Southerners don't tag sale on Sunday. I guess between church and football season, driving around looking for deals takes a backseat. I wish we'd made more money of course, but I was so exhausted Sunday, it was hard to care.
The new owners of Mom's house want the cabinets that we couldn't unload, as well as the radial arm saw. That's a relief, as we'd rather that went to someone who'll use it, rather than donate it somewhere where it could be trashed for appearing obsolete. It's a 35 year old saw probably, but it still works. The pile of stuff we dragged down to the end of the driveway for the neighborhood vultures to pick over was remarkably small, though my car is stuffed with junk to go to Goodwill in the next day or two, plus some more stuff for Chamblin's.
I'm tired. Haven't knitted in a week and the apartment is trashed...will start picking through stuff in another day or two, creating my own piles for Goodwill.
Friday, September 19, 2008
So, you get done with Pagan Pride Day over at Riverside Park, or seeing Obama over at Met Park, and can't decide what to do next.....how 'bout a garage sale in Marietta!
We're garage sale-ing at my mom's Saturday and Sunday 9/20 & 21 from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. both days. It's a pretty hilarious pile of stuff...if you have any interest in electrical work, plumbing, or hardware, you may be in heaven. There's also furniture, stuffed animals, and a serious "please take it off our hands" mentality, as Mom moves next weekend.
99 Devoe Street....take I-10 West to the Marietta exit and bear left. Go straight at the Cahoon Street light. At the Beaver Street light, stay straight, go into Marietta Forrest development. We're the grey house on the right about 4 or 5 houses down with the crap laid out all over the driveway and the exhausted looks on our faces.
Coming from 295...exit at I-10 West and Marietta will be your first exit...may not even have to merge.
Looking forward to seeing y'all and completely understand if you closet cases steer clear ::wry grin::
Thursday, September 18, 2008
The garage at Mom's feels like a frigging disaster area, but on Saturday and Sunday, it'll be garage sale time. I'm still a little tired from SC, so it's hard to think about the next 3 days. We just got back last night and there's several things I want to try to sell at the garage sale, that are currently in our apartment. This makes the next 2 evenings rather challenging. Thank goodness I don't have time to think about baking anything...
I like Aiken, I love getting away from Florida and driving up there and listening to critters and hugging trees...the cotton was up, and the air was missing the ole wet wool blanket of humidity. But this sure wasn't a pleasure cruise. We were there to help take care of Grandma, age 80-something, who recently underwent medical procedures, and our niece, age 2, who spends her days glued to the TV because her parents suck at parenting and have substance abuse issues. It was a very frustrating 2 days, where I managed to hold my tongue, but came away deeply angry at how they've already ruined our niece in some ways and are slowly killing themselves while manipulating everyone around them. I'd love to take that kid for about a month of reprogramming....the niece, not the sisinlaw...Sisinlaw definitely needs professionals. Ah, family...can't wait til Xmas...
So Husby and I are very glad to be home, but the next 2 weeks are kind of overwhelming...worst of it will be this weekend, the garage sales. Mom's hiring somebody for the actual move, so next weekend will be more about helping her settle in. Man, it'll be nice having her on my side of town!
Friday, September 12, 2008
Just kidding. What I did do, through the highly skilled method of replying, was win Two Frog Home's Fall giveaway. How neat! And with the month I have ahead of me, it'll definitely be something to look forward to in the mail. Thank you, Kathie!!
Husby's off in SC (well, I'm assuming...haven't heard from him yet, as he's likely sleeping off the train orneries at his Lil Sis's)...
Back to work :(
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Lemme see if I've got this straight:
1. Shop for cell phone.
2. Hide little notes throughout Husby's luggage.
3. Drop Husby at train station.
4. Sigh repeatedly on drive back.
5. Bounce off the walls for an hour, then crash.
1. Work (bleh!)
2. Wait for Aunt Flo to make an appearance. Significant mood shift anticipated depending on her punctuality.
3. Clean litter box.
4. Throw clothes together for weekend...drag laundry down to car tonight.
5. Quality time with Fig.
1. Over to Mom's early, talk lists, breakfast, organizing stuff...
2. Go out to garage, move crap around, and sweat copiously.
3. Haggle with Lil Bro about stuff going into storage.
4. More organizing, dragging stuff to store back into house, so it's not mixed in with potential garage sale stuff...
5. Talk signage, cash box, layout for next weekend.
6. Hang out with Mom and Lil Sis sleepover-style...pass out from exhaustion before movie is half over.
1. Repeat Saturday.
2. Go home to apartment, repack.
3. Top off food, water, place surprise cat treats around apartment.
4. Quality time with Fig, pass out.
1. Up at the crack, drive to SC.
2. Reunite with Husby, big hugs to Grandma.
3. Play with niece, give her lots of outdoor time (because she doesn't get enough normally).
4. Keep mouth shut around difficult family members.
5. Count the days til Wednesday.
Monday, September 08, 2008
Which means we can't put off the garage sale any longer, and we need to make some significant decisions. It means cutting the cord on a lot of big items. It means rearranging our apartment to accommodate the stuff I do want to take. It means rearranging our schedules, working full weekends for the next month at Mom's.
We're supposed to go to SC next weekend and into the following week to help out his family while Mom and Dad J go on a trip. That's up in the air now, and dependent on Grandma, who ended up in the hospital this past weekend with internal bleeding because a medical clamp somehow found its way into her stomach. I doubt the family will get a straight answer from the docs on how that happened; it could've been a necessary device left in from her gall bladder removal approximately 2 years ago, or it could've been a big oops. Kind of a non-issue, since Grandma's not the suing type according to family, but considering the pain she was in...
So she's still in the hospital, they endoscoped her to remove the clamp (breaking an endoscope in the process!), and her discharge from said hospital may dictate if Mom J goes on the trip. Grandma's 87ish, so any recovery will take awhile. We may have to send Husby up on the train, and then I'll follow him up that Monday.
Garage sale's scheduled for Saturday, September 20 and probably Sunday, September 21. I'll post more about that as we get closer, for you local folks. In the meantime, we have to organize the garage for said sale, make all the decisions on what's staying and going, etc. Mom's moving the next weekend (27th), so it's definitely crunch time. She put down her (post-dated) deposit for an apartment up the road from me, and she's so frickin' happy and relieved, and can't wait to get a little dog...ironically, it's in the same complex I moved into when I first moved out of my parent's house 15 years ago. We've come full circle in some weird way.
My birthday's tomorrow...I told the gang at work I wasn't turning 39 until I was pregnant, so they could relax on the celebration. We're going to lunch Thursday anyway :(
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
The masochist subject line is because I made the mistake of watching House last night...I don't know that it can be called a mistake, because I enjoyed every minute of it and felt it was quite well-written and acted. But it was last year's season finale, where a character who had grown likeable dies of multi-system organ failure, and the "let's try this, no let's try this," nature of the storyline brings me back to Dad, and I had some good cries, which left me feeling drained today. And just when I'd like to turtle and just get my work done, we're having tours with a major partner today and I'll probably have one shadowing me, seeing how we do things...so I'm feeling a little stressed.
I'm such a pussy. One of the reasons my blogging has slacked is because I can't stand the diary/journal nature of it, would rather be informing the public in some way like Elements in Time or Soule Mama. I know I have something to say, but too often it gets muddled down by my mood swings. So if I'm sporadic for a piece, it's because I'm doing some thinking. Or because we're wringing out from TS Hanna...
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
- Instead of cluttering the apartment with both of the garage cabinets I have my eye on, if just the bottom one is in good shape, bringing that to the apartment as a pantry, and placing the chopping block on top, will free up counter space in kitchen proper...
- If we can't afford to move in or out of town come baby-time, maybe moving to a new apartment within our current complex...
Man, these mood swings are a blast (she said sarcastically)...the politics of a flawed work system just made me look bad on the job and I'm livid, so I'll end this before I start ranting. Snuck both those pictures from other blogs for their calming influences...the pantry is from Two Frog Home, the green beans from Tiny Farm Blog. I aspire to both illustrations.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Saturday was a wash, Sunday was half spent at Mom's...we're getting closer to garage sale time, so we invited Tom (Dad's LilBro) and Denyse up to go through the garage...which resulted in me bringing home some more clutter ::sigh:: so I played hookey on Monday and reorganized some of it. The dining area's still a disaster, but the bedroom's quite liveable...I stole SouleMama's idea of using vintage suitcases for storage, and reorganized my fabric stash, Craft garb, and some yarn into Mom's old suitcases. The result is easier access to key stuff, and a neat look to the bedroom. In the coming weeks, I'll be unpacking boxes with CDs, DVDs, and VHS tapes and reorganizing them shelf-style, switching out end tables, and weaning myself back off the worktable in the dining area, as I'm hoping to switch it with an old typewriter table that's buried in Mom's garage, for use as a sewing machine table. Trying to embrace the less-is-more concept, but after 10 years of collecting, it's slow going...
And we just ain't discussing the Buy Nothing Challenge yet, cuz I SUCK at it...
Basil's about the only herb that's rallying out front, and the tomatoes are still poking along...I put 2 little stakes in the tomatoes, but they still ain't flowering so I'm going to have to revisit the idea of putting them out back part of the day...
Friday, August 22, 2008
I'm so pissed to be at work today, this post will probably be one big vent. I drove through debris, flooding, dead traffic lights...it's not safe to be on the roads today. It's really got me thinking about this company I've given almost 9 years to...
We've postponed our weekend work at the house, and I'm glad, as I'll spend tomorrow assessing my career and replanting my aloes, which are drowning as we speak out on the porch. I woke up around 1 a.m. feeling some serious guilt about not moving those, as the winds and rain lashed against the apartment and my windows rattled. I took the herbs down from the ledge out front to be safe, and they're under enough cover where they haven't moved, but the aloe's taking a serious pummeling.
Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some hardcore sulking to catch up on...Happy friggin' Friday.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
They hate shutting down so much, they're a) making us use our own PTO if we do go home, and b) blackmailing people with time-and-a-half to stay on the phones...
Since a huge chunk of the phone folks are having to go home due to bridges closing, kids, etc., they're looking for folks who don't normally work the phones to do phone work too...
I haven't worked phones in 4 years. We can always use the money, but do I need 4 hours of solid stress to get it?
So now I feel like I'm not a team player because I'm electing to stay at work doing MY JOB!! 8½ years working for this sweatshop and I feel like my loyalty quotient just cut in half. Great.
Dumb-assed tropical storm.
Ahh...ok...vent over, moving on...
Thank goodness I got my hair trimmed up last week, cuz with these winds I'd be going out of my friggin' mind this week. It's nice having the wind blow your hair six ways to Sunday and know that it's probably falling back in place in a non-ugly fashion...
The footwear crack is cuz I'm wearing sneaks twice in a row this week to work, and while they may not go great or be my first choice with my slacks, they're comfy and handle the weather better than anything else in my closet right now. My company dress code is relaxed business casual, so I'm not breaking any rules, but being older and larger than a lot of the crowd here, I usually try to maintain some semblance of work fashion (I've mentioned before how I save my jeans for Fridays). Plus I tried wearing an old pair of shoes on Tuesday, and now I'm a poster child for blisters :(
This storm really pussed out on us here in Jacksonville..it could still turn, but I'm not worried personally, though I'm pretty sure I'm drowning my porch aloes, never got around to moving them...they haven't even closed the bridges, and the gusts only have to get up around 40 mph for that to happen. That basically shuts down the city, since the St. Johns River splits Jacksonville in half. Lucky me, my 10-minute commute goes nowhere near the river. Most folks who are ducking out on work have kids who are out of school...a good reminder to me of challenges to come (hopefully). We're trying again this month, and this time I'm armed with a triple-hormone regimen - so prayers to Husby if the mood swings kick in :)
Stay dry, y'all!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Got to see him this past weekend, growing like a weed (my gosh, is he! only going-on 8 and practically up to my shoulders!), and behavior wasn't bad at all considering he's on next to nothing medicinally right now...just gets wound up occasionally and needs the words of a family member he knows to respect. He wouldn't listen to me if I tried to direct him, but once his dad stepped in, he was good. Pretty much as it should be with any kid...
Got some nice inspiration from SouleMama today...it was a good reminder of how you have to set your mind to a task and just tuck away at it. I've been letting myself get overwhelmed by the apartment lately, and then nothing gets done in the evenings...I watch TV, knit, goof off, when I could be unpacking a box and going through it. One box at a time...and she just reminded me of some things, like the use of old suitcases for packing fabric or whatever (when we just came across some oldies in Mom's attic), and how the sewing machine doesn't have to have a huge area when the dining room table can double as a crafting space...
Now if this tropical storm would just increase to hurricane status so I could go home and get started....ah well, guess that's not enough of a reason to possibly endanger lives with nature....but getting started tonight is definitely in the cards :)
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Very neat idea, and one I HAVE to embrace. I just spent the last week, stocking up on junk food we don't need, and trying to talk myself in and out of a new purse. We're barely making ends meet, and I'm thinking a new purse is in order. So today I'm catching up on One Green Generation and am inspired by her thoughts on redefining normal. And then I wander over to Crunchy Chicken (while checking out the APLS blog carnival posts) and find her Buy Nothing Challenge. Ah, another greenie epiphany at the ole lighthouse...my purse yearnings slide quickly into the "NO" column, and I'm into my bag stash for something that'll placate my itchiness for consumption.
Sure, it's easy to cheat or slip on any challenge, but if you don't have a plan at all, it's that much easier to spend willy-nilly. Having the procreation of small people become possibly real this month really shifted my thinking; I look at our apartment, our lives with new eyes.
Fairly straightforward goals (from Crunchy Chicken):
- No new clothes
- No new gadgets
- No new furniture or housewares
- No salon services (except haircuts) - heh, that's a cheat, just got mine cleaned up last week.
- No new makeup
- No new tools (also a cheat - any tools I need I'll be acquiring in the coming weeks from Mom's garage)
- No whatever the hell else people buy (gee, like purses?)
- No eating out
I've talked about that last one before, and nothing's changed since the last time I mentioned how badly we need to stop pissing away money on easy meals. So I'm looking forward to being hard on myself and Husby on this one. Wish us luck!
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Chris Burke, that dear guy from the TV show "Life Goes On" said in an interview way back when, that he had Down's Syndrome, but just a mild case of it. That's how I treat my manic depression. It's tempered with age and medication, and I can deal with my mood swings now, for the most part, without spending us into bankruptcy or fantasizing about running cut glass on my skin.
That said, the downers still suck big time. I've mentioned I'm off my lithium and down to half my Paxil, because we're trying to have kids (and we're finally actually trying, so I'm being vigilant about keeping unnecessary meds out of my system...now if I could only do that with food too...). So when the downs take up residence, I'm a rather grumpy individual, not the funnest person to be around, and my time is spent accepting my misery and getting little accomplished, because the alternative, trying to fight it, really doesn't work and is self-defeating. Still, it's a frustrating cycle, because then you hit an upswing and think of all you'd like to have accomplished while you were being a whiny, self-absorbed mess (never mind that it's a medically justified whiny, self-absorbed mess), and then you scramble, trying to get things done before the next wave hits. Waa, waa, it ain't easy bein' me.
Anyhoo, that's where I've been...
About the cat, what an odd thing...Friday morning, this young male orange tabby shows up at our doorstep crying up a storm. Wants in so badly it's hard to get into the apartment at lunchtime. Still there in the evening, and cries all night. We gave him a food and water source, and he not only shut up, but disappeared, but I've been keeping the food plate filled at night, and it's licked clean the next morning. So we may have ourselves a cooperative outdoor cat, who was seriously dehydrated initially. I hope it's him eating the food, as I hate to think about the other critters that could be coming up our stairs, the not-so-friendly strays or worse, a nutria (we've got a bunch of those critters living with the ducks around our retention ponds - they look like beavers with possum tails). My herbs and tomatoes are still on the front landing, and they're no worse for the wear, but still...
So I'm feeling better and looking toward the weekend. Blogs are starting to talk about preparing for winter. Florida breeds laziness; we're lucky if we get weather cold enough to break out the wool, but there are so many other ways that we could be living simpler with just a little preparation. And autumn's my hands-down favorite season, so there's apple butter recipes to try, as well as more food storage ideas (freezing, canning, dehydrating), experimenting with squash and pumpkin recipes, and enjoying the break in the heat here, as Gaia gives us 2 days of rain. Enjoy the breeze!
Monday, August 11, 2008
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
And we're finally trying for kids :) I don't think it took this month, but I'm going back on Clomid and Estradiol next month and we'll see. It's a true eye-opener, looking at life from the prospect of being someone's parent a mere 9 months later. We have an enormous amount of work to do. Like, understatement. This is where the "To Do" lists will take on new life...more later.
Check out "For Better or For Worse" today (August 6, 2008) - Excellent!! And I'd love to know how many US publications chose not to run that strip...
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
I'm in a weird place, not quite a rut, not quite up...
Nary a single "to-do" list was created this past weekend (naturally), but I did get little things accomplished, just enough where I wasn't beating myself up. Moved the aloe to the porch, still babying the herbs and tomatoes. Resigning myself to the tomatoes being a winter harvest. Made a carrot/banana bread on Sunday that was surprisingly tasty. Threw together a chicken dinner last night that was surprisingly untasty. Sigh. In another dry spell with the knitting too...
Just not much to post...doing a lot of thinking this week. We'll see how the week progresses...
Friday, August 01, 2008
To Do Tonight (Friday)
- Think about the top you want to make, and give yourself a refresher course on sewing.
- Start lists on several subjects
- Steer clear of dining area
- Don't clean anything (yet)
Mom's stepping back too...the weather's supposed to be rainy this weekend, so she didn't want to do any heavy-duty work on the garage yet, until she thinks about it a little more. That frees me up to tackle our apartment. Husby started a new med on Wednesday that has had rather nice results so far, so I may even get some work out of him too, as well as be able to talk with him about kids and future stuff.
3 hours to freedom! Happy Friday, y'all!
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Tonight I have to do laundry, clean the kitchen, and ponder the weekend...probably going to Mom's on Saturday for some garage work, and I'm determined NOT to repeat last weekend, so I'll make some more lists for little projects, designed to chip away at the overwhelm-ment that is our apartment. Husby and I were talking this morning about how we need to change things around there, if we're going to have a small person there initially...I'm glad I'm getting him talking, it'll make it easier when those "to-do" lists end up in his hands for busywork during the week while I'm slaving away at the office :)
Pictures soon, I promise. I haven't gotten around to reseeding the herbs, but my patience is paying off...they still look weak, but they are growing! One of my "to-do" items is cataloging the planting stuff I have that's not in use, because I'd love to do more vegetables this fall.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Words to live by. Apparently not this past weekend, however. I'm so angry with myself I'm trying not to think about it, because I hate dwelling on things that can't be changed. Gotta just push forward...
But seriously folks...what. the. hell! I pissed away both days this past weekend, doing very little other than finishing a truly unremarkable baby hat, missing Dad, napping, and allowing my depression to enjoy free rein. Can we discuss how frustrating it is to be lamenting how little time we have on this earth while simultaneously enjoying a complete lack of motivation and energy to do anything? On second thought, let's not...
So. Back at my desk at work and wondering just how much of a stress junkie I am to be able to get more accomplished while simultaneously earning money at a regular job...I started a fresh "To Do" list, a grocery list, and my brain's turned back on, pondering how I can unearth us in that apartment and make it more conducive to living simply. I'm betting part of my problem is that apartment, just how overpopulated it is with "STUFF," weighing me down and making me unable to see past it...we're painfully behind financially right now, so I get thinking about how we'll be starting a family there in that place, and that's borderline unacceptable as is...there's a lot of work to be done to get it to where I'd feel comfortable having a baby living in there with us. But Husby and I act in spurts...he mopped the kitchen floor on Friday on a whim, said he'd been wanting to do it for ages, and I'm the same way...will do nothing for weeks and then suddenly plow through a closet or the dining area. It needs to be more consistent.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Anyhoo, will reseed plants this weekend, move some stuff around, and get back to eating healthier...ooo, and baking! ooo, and knitting and sewing! Happy Friday, y'all!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
I think I'm ready for another trip out of town...maybe I could talk Husby into an overnight down at Gold Head...we just begged off on an SC trip due to lackofunds, suppose I need to suck it up...especially since I'm making enough this next check where we could actually pay a bill besides rent...
I've had one of Dad's memorial cards up at my desk at work since like oh, a week after he hit the happy hunting ground (he was a duck hunter back in the day, that's not just me being a morbid little snot)...today I took it down. It's just hurting a little too much lately, and I don't need any reminders; my memory serves me all too well in that regard.
::grumble, grumble, bitch, moan::
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
I get it now. It's not negative, exactly, just very, very painful. I'm finding that I can't listen to certain artists at work (Josh Groban and Enya in particular), because the music is so beautiful, it's making me cry. I feel this rather painful rage inside me with the knowledge that Dad will never again enjoy the beauty of music on our plane (of existence). I can't handle that; he loved certain music...I'm not even saying that Enya or Josh were particular favorites of his; rather it's the crystalline beauty of their music that's setting me to tears. We kids grew up listening to various types of music with Dad; some of my earliest memories are of having the headphones on while we listened to Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head or Tie a Yellow Ribbon, or Judd Strunk's Daisy a Day. I can't handle the thought of all the stuff he's missing. I suppose I should/could content myself with the idea that he gets to enjoy it all whenever he wants now, but I just can't buy that idea of Summerland...and I can't believe it just for faith's sake, regardless of how terrified the alternative makes me. Being true to myself means recognizing that I plain don't believe in heaven and hell...don't believe in much of anything on the subject, beyond the possibility of passing onto a different plane of existence. Whatever...he's missing out, and we're missing out by not having him here, and it sucks!
I also own Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver, so thought I'd say a little something about her here too. While I'm skeptical about some of the recipes in that book, it's more because they're so far afield from what I normally eat that's it's hard not to turn my nose up at them (Eggs in a Nest?!). That said, Kingsolver also has a writer's ego, and some of her opinions in this book are just that, opinions; which is why the book is saved by her husband's essays, which combine opinion with factual information cited from specific sources. She does offer a decent bibliography and appendix of sources, so I'm not exactly faulting her - it's just that you have to be in the mood for her writing sometimes. This book truly was a family affair though, from Camille's recipe ideas to Lily's chicken adventures, and that makes it a very enjoyable look at living green. Another very helpful facet (for this Florida gal) is that it's laid out Eastern-seasonally, so you get a true taste of what's in season when, from asparagus to zucchini...even the Vegetannual graphic is a nice reference to help remind your brain until you get used to seasonal eating.
Can feel myself rallying...really nice shot in the creative arm over at SouleMama, where she's posted PDF links for some wonderful handmade gift ideas. I'm so glad to have ideas other than knitted socks for the impending Xmas gift-giving...the Gratitude wrap is rather perfect, as I came into a large stack of cardstock that I was thinking of doing something with...has the old company name on it, so I'd have an excuse to create some design over it...hmm...or could cut it away, maybe? Can't wait to go home and try out these ideas! Work's a pain...
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Excellent example of how the world's problems aren't getting solved by our current leaders, because they've definitely got their wires crossed somewhere along the line...while I'm sure this story is taken out of context a bit, it's still a jaw-dropper: http://tinyurl.com/6mw8ka.
I'm in a creative dry spell too...until I get used to the schedule difference probably...getting home later means later meals and cleanup, means feeling rushed at the end of the day, so I'm not in the mood to knit...I'm just out of sorts. (whinewhinewhine) Not getting enough fresh food either, and I've been slacking on the health factor of my lunches, so it's no wonder we've hit rut territory again. Damn broken record. Need to get baking again...I'm tired of granola bars and fruit.
Going with Husby to next week's doctor's appointment so I can yell at the guy again...it's impossible to get him (Husby) working when his quality of life sucks so badly...I'd love to blame it on his shame over his teeth, but really it's the fact that he's still always in pain. If I had blazing headaches everyday, I'd be useless too, and this is while he's on what are supposed to be decent medications! Problem is, he can't take the triptan meds that are normally prescribed for migraines, he gets bad reactions with them, so instead he's stuck with pain meds that taken often enough, put him in a cyclical situation, so that nothing works for the breakthrough pain. There's gotta be more options...but he doesn't remember to ask the right questions when he has his appointments with the guy, so I'm going along because I'm the boss :) I feel a pinch more secure with my job, but we still so need him working too...
Sunday, July 20, 2008
I'll have to prove myself to some of my higher-ups...I've spent the last 8 years shying away from responsibility and presenting myself as a workhorse for them and nothing more; so when my team leader has brought up my name as a potential for supervisory responsibility, he's been met with skepticism. This doesn't bother me; just means I need to reacquiant the bosses with what I'm capable of. I know going in, that I can't rely on just my team leader's opinion of me; he's still too easy to impress because he's new to this business. But I also know, have always known, that I have the ability to be a decent manager; and I've changed a lot in the past year. So I have some work to do.
Mom's backyard looks neat. We planted the rest of the aloe that I wanted to part with, and laid down a red mulch, so it actually looks like a deliberate grove of stuff under the trees now. Will probably need a bit more mulch as the rainy season progresses. I'll miss the Big Boys, but I'm so glad they're in real ground now and out of our apartment. I kept some babies and Mom bought me a jade yesterday to add to my collection of living stuff.
Most of my herbs have wimped out on my first tries; conditions just aren't terrific, but I'm not giving up...thinking of reseeding the ones that pooped out. Thinned the tomatoes a bit last week and I'm going to talk to Husby about keeping them on the porch in the mornings and then having him bring them in when the afternoon rains hit. I have to shift my schedule at work, so won't be getting home til almost 6 now; otherwise I'd handle it myself...but since he's home...
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to grab a nap and feel absolutely no guilt about it :)
Friday, July 18, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Thinking of changing my work shift a bit, because work falls later in the day...there plain isn't enough to keep us busy earlier in the mornings. It's helping me catch up on areas where my training was lacking...this morning I'm getting to explore Dreamweaver and Photoshop finally, as well as acquiant myself with the work of Tech Support...but it's a scramble everyday, and I need to bend to the demand.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
My fear and stress over possibly having my hours cut at work is causing me to slip into a fast rut. Going to try to nip that sucker in the bud before it takes root...it doesn't help that I'm a hormone hostage this week, thus a tad scattered, and that I'm getting used to working in a different location...it feels like we're just visiting here; it's SO different...more open, bieges instead of greys, easy to get lost still, larger desk areas, new chairs...it's so neat and nice, just wish we had the work to go along with the new digs. So one of the things I need to do (in the reconnoiter category) is quit stressing and start thinking...thinking about how I can combat the money worries with different work options...
We need better recycling vessels in house, but we're definitely all gung-ho about it now, and the difference in our trash is marked...we were hitting the dumpster almost on a daily basis before we started recycling; now it's more like once a week. It's so automatic, getting ready to throw something out and realizing it belongs in the recycling instead, and we're rinsing things well enough where the bug problem hasn't gotten any worse...
Gotta go look busy :)
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
So my stress meant not enough got accomplished this weekend, but I did try to relax. My brain did quite a bit of shutting down. I knit a fingerless glove. Watched Project Runway marathons. Avoided reality. Ordered out too much.
Monday, July 14, 2008
I certainly empathize with anyone who feels restless stuck behind a desk. I'm a professional fidgeter and twiddler myself, since decreasing my meds...swear I'm gonna go 'round the bend sometimes stuck at a desk job, just don't have the patience for all that sitting still. Your career prior to this job was the U.S. Navy, so certainly there's going to be some adjustment to the boredom of corporate America.
However, our area is nice and quiet now that we're in the new building, and if you don't stop drumming your fingers on your desk, I'm going to have to come into your cube and break all your fingers.
Friday, July 11, 2008
I'm thinking of bailing on the Independence Days Challenge...not bailing per se, just not formally reporting specifically that stuff. I'm just not there yet...certainly the brunt of this blog will still be about my desire to live green, simpler, etc., and the occasional crafty stuff, but it's such a work in progress, and right now, the Growing Challenge is more than enough......definitely will keep y'all informed as my little corner of the planet progresses...future projects this year include delving into canning, more freezing foods, more plants...
I still haven't thinned the tomatoes yet, and I think it's starting to stunt them...this weekend I'm hoping to deal with the aloe (yes, I know, where have we heard that before...) - geez, it goes THAT far back? That's depressing...and I want to manufacture something to keep the plants out on the porch where they'll have better access to sun, rain, pollenators...going to visit the evil big-box stores for greenhouse-type mesh...ah, maybe I'll be a good little granola and look for it at the smaller hardware stores or nurseries...
Frogged 2 projects last night, rolled 3 balls of yarn yesterday, having another attack of startitis...no motivation to start Xmas projects yet though, still baby stuff or stuff for me :)
Speaking of the Growing Challenge, Elements in Time moved to a gorgeous fresh website/blog, One Green Generation...give it a look-see!
Haircut is moving quickly from dog snot to shagadelic; thank goodness it grows fast! Thinking of investing in a straightening iron so the mop will make me less nutty (heh, kind of a reach, I know...).....it got me thinking about my buddy Alexa's hair, which I covet (natural SERIOUS curl and auburn)...I'm sure the limitations involved with naturally curly hair would make me just as impatient as I am with my mop, so it begs the question of whether or not I'm perpetuating my nuttiness regarding my hair by continuing to try different styles that quickly fall short of my expectations...I do know I miss the length and am going to try my darnedest to keep from trimming it for the near future; and I've developed a definite appreciation for longer styles, thanks to Husby (the little creep). Still, if you ever wanna trade, Alexa.... :)
What's sad is one of the things that got me thinking about hair this week is watching Shear Genius on Bravo for lack of anything better on the tube...Jaclyn Smith irritates me for some reason (was never a Charlie's Angels fan, but I sympathize with anybody in remission from breast cancer, so she gets a pass), but the show itself is kind of fun...man, I'll be glad when we get full cable back...it ticks me off when I find myself enjoying those so-called "reality" shows, but then again, some (ONLY SOME) of them have merit...I find my creative juices flowing after watching Top Chef or Project Runway too. Now if we could just take crap like Super Nanny or Wife Swap off the air, our society may have a chance of moving beyond its Jerry Springeresque tendencies...
Well, that's enough of the cultural snobbery...work wants help with the move, but they're not willing to pay OT, so I'm steering clear. House is getting a serious cleaning this weekend instead; our apartment building is at least 25 years old, so when you let it go to seed, the bugs come out unfortunately...dropped my milk cap on the floor yesterday morning, and had this fantasy of 2 cockroaches coming out and carrying it off, while one of them said to me, "thanks, we'll get this back to you." I'm not well. So it's cleaning time, and the usual organizing and creative fantasies that accompany a Melanie weekend. Hope yours is relaxing; Happy Friday, y'all!
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Gas prices are unreal. Work's scary. Or rather, the lack of work is scary. I'm not worried about my job; I'm trained in just about everything I can be for my position, plus a couple of things; and they like me here. But sales are miserable and we spend our days grabbing a site here, a site there, and then staring at an empty queue more than we'd like and looking for busy work. I can't stand busy work, though I'll admit it was cool yesterday; I retrained in designing Adwords (those ads you see on the right side of the screen in Google™), and they've changed the tool a bit since I last did them, so I actually learned something there. But usually it's just work engineered to keep you off the queue for an hour or so, so it'll build back up. I'd rather be grabbing the sites as they show up, don't have the patience for busy work. Maybe if I went back on the lithium...
I don't really mean that, it's just another bit of frustration where the baby making is concerned. Finding your ovulation time is hard enough, but nailing it when your husband doesn't have a migraine is a whole other beast. I mean, in fairness to him, would you want to partake of nookie with a blazing headache? Yeah, me either. But still, I ache to get started and can't stand the calendar marching toward my 39th birthday the way it is...
At least my company's appearing to be in a good place right now...we move into the new building this weekend, which certainly negates any chance of a raise for at least another year; but I'm able to walk into work confident that I have a role to play here. My mom's not so lucky right now; her employers, in addition to laying people off right and left, have also 86d matching their employees' 401(k) contributions and the EAP portion of their health insurance. It's making her a little nuts, wondering if they're going to try to retire her early...that's not something she's ready for, and of course, finding a fresh job at 66 isn't the easiest task. Send some positive thoughts her way please...
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Discovered the writings of Ann Hood this week...she lost her 5-year-old daughter to a virulent form of strep and discovered knitting as a way of maintaining sanity through the grief. I can relate. Boy, can I relate...always knew that knitting through the pain was a smart outlet, but there's still this vindication in reading Comfort and The Knitting Circle and discovering I'm not alone in this.
Haven't gotten around to reviewing the David Wann book, Simple Prosperity, still reading...think I may need to own this one, it's quite good. Wonder if I can find it at Chamblin's...Silent Spring still getting neglected...
Doing well...nice feeling :)
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
There were a handful of times in college where I drove home hugging the white line on the right and praying to whomever I believed in at the time, that I'd make it home safely because I'd had a bit too much to drink. I've always worn a seatbelt; my folks were good about instilling that in us as kids, and getting into a car accident 4 days after getting my license certainly put the fear of God in me where that was concerned too, especially since the seatbelt in question failed and I took a steering wheel to the chest...luckily wasn't going too fast, as this was pre-airbag days, though I'm not a fan of airbags either. Anyway...
My friend Izzy's daughter Sara lost her boyfriend yesterday; he lingered for 2 weeks following a drunk driving accident before dying from his injuries. I ache with this news. I think of the things that people will say..."what a waste,"..."so young,"...like those words will help make sense of a senseless tragedy. I look back on my own mistakes in judgment and wonder why I was spared. What makes me so friggin' special? Which gets me thinking about the randomness of life, how we don't have any control over it at all, no matter how much we try, and then I have to stop thinking, because that's enough to make you want to curl up in a ball...I think of Christy and more lately, Meara, who are trying so hard to have complete control over their lives, who think that so long as everything is going according to plan and in its proper place, that maybe nothing (else) bad will happen. I totally get Meara needing that after losing Dad; we had 36 hours of closure, which I thank the gods for, but we all still feel robbed, like it was way too soon. The anger that accompanies that feeling has a color and a vehemence that can easily overwhelm.
But there must be a happy medium between needing total control over your life vs. giving up completely and letting fate or destiny take its course. I like to think I'm finding that balance myself. I'm not even sure I believe in god, but I wake up in the morning, take solace in the elements, and recognize the balance between perfectionism and faith. Thanks to Dad, I'm reminded everyday now of the tenuous time we have here on Earth and I try to make good use of that time. I believe that Dad's fear shortened his life, and I'm determined not to let it happen to me. I pray for the opportunity to create my own small ones and teach them the preciousness of this life.
Monday, June 30, 2008
We really do need the new digs; we're getting too big for our current facility and all-hands meetings are an exercise in claustrophobia where the break room turns into a sauna because of all the bodies. Still, a tiny part of me wishes the money they spent on the new building could've gone into our paychecks instead, like in a cost-of-living raise. With no overtime opportunities in the foreseeable future, it gets me thinking about a 2nd job again, though I know how unrealistic it is for me to hold down 2 jobs and maintain my sanity, especially sans full meds. Nose to the grindstone...
Did quite a bit of cooking yesterday, and am happy with my new stove :) Made a bunch of wheat bread from scratch, a lil-of-this-lil-of-that soup that surprisingly wasn't a failure, and some oatmeal cookies for the week (with a hint of banana because I was low on regular oatmeal, but had 3 packets of Banana bread flavored oatmeal left).
- Planting and harvesting: still just the catnip. Quite impressed with myself, the attention I'm giving said plants, not letting them wither from neglect. Wish I could say the same for the aloe. Everybody's sprouting but the spearmint, which is odd; those were Burpee seeds from this year ala Target. Going to shove Jobe's sticks into everybody this week. Gave the plants their first dose of real sun Saturday on the back porch, only to nearly drown them when the afternoon rains hit. So they're back up front for now.
- Preserving: 2/3rds of the soup and bread I made yesterday went into the freezer :)
- Prepping: yesterday was clean as you go in the kitchen, and I'm more comfortable in that room now. This week I hope to deal with the aloe and go through the bookshelves at least; not having cable will be a big help in this endeavor.
- Cooking: mentioned above...also planning to try white bean burgers later in the week, and I have to bake a cake for a worker's birthday tonight.
- Managing: reserves are LOW...have to do a shop tonight :(
- Local food systems: WIP
We move into the new building for work this weekend, get to tour it in a couple of minutes. Should be fun!