Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Holy crap, it's gorgeous outside!!!

There's one time when I don't whine about Florida, and that's when the weather turns, in Spring and Fall. When it's warm, but you're not covered in a layer of sweat yet. When the sun's shining to beat the band and there's a high breeze.

We've hit Spring here...high 40s at night, reaching 80F during the day. I think we're done with winter...will be very surprised if we have any more cold snaps. Then again, this winter gave us more cold snaps than usual, so who knows...but I just got back from lunch and had zero desire to go back inside...the movie Office Space keeps going through my head...

"Man was not meant to spend their days trapped in little cubicles, Michael!"
Peter Gibbons (paraphrased)

Anyhoo, home computer still sick but out of with MS Security Support last night and they scanned our system and removed the offending virus. But we're not out of the woods yet, as the system is slow as molasses now. I hope it's not permanently damaged, but I'm thinking there's still some work ahead. We're going to download another anti-spyware program to make sure we got everything out (the MS version said they missed something), and I'm going to go through every file and clean house. Hopefully in another couple of days, it'll be faster...lord I hope so, as the processing I saw this morning brought back memories of dial-up...::shudders::...I mean, we're certainly due for a new system, as quickly as the damn things become obselete these days, but that's an expense that can't even be fathomed until at least 6 months post-move, so...

The good news: no charge for the MS Support and our personal files appear intact! As soon as it's faster, I'm transferring my photos to Flickr! and from now on, I'll do my lyric searching on iTunes. Also buying some flash drives...they're so friggin' cheap now, it's irresponsible not to have 'em around.

Crown wasn't delivered yesterday, have to go back after work today...yay.

Idina Menzel coming to town in April! Mom got tix for Lil Sis and I, should be a blast :)

Tuesday, March 30, 2010


So many little things requiring my patience right now...

The move...I'm getting worried that it's not doable this year. I really don't want to stay in Jax past August, but I'm not sure we'll have enough saved to pull off a move. Never mind that your average reputable landlord wants to see 2 current paystubs, meaning proof of employment in the location where you're actually wonder Dad used to go to the new locations first to find us housing. There are ways to pull that off, but it would require the kindness of family (Les's lil sis lives in Columbia; my cousin Tim's closer to Charlotte, but I haven't seen him in like, 18 years, so that would be just weird) and serious miles on the car. These thoughts are on my mind as we head speedily into April. Where the f*ck did March go?

Duck eggs...I want them to stay up there as long as they need, but I want to be able to put my tomato plant out on the porch without worrying about it being knocked over or eaten. The tomato was the biggest seedling and I think I'm days away from a first flower. It's going to be craving outdoor time soon, and I don't know what to do about that.

The seedlings themselves...the peppers are doing OK, but they'll need outdoor time quite soon too. The parsley is flagging, but I'm not looking for edible leaves on that yet, kind of want it to go to seed the first time out. The basil is just starting to show green on the surface of the soil. The cat grass is like aloe once it gets's going to need more seeds and a larger pot very soon. You can literally sit next to that and watch it grow. The others (marjoram and rosemary), I was thinking I'd need to start over on, but 2 of the peat pots are starting to hint at green as well. So I need to be patient. This really is my first time trying to baby seeds into something, so I may start journaling my efforts, so I won't have to be so impatient next time.

The computer...I have a phone appointment tonight with a Microsoft tech support engineer. Can't tell from the site what it's going to cost me, but I'll need to address that at the onset anyway, because money's thin right now...hence why we were thinking we couldn't do anything about the virus for 3 weeks. But they're claiming we won't necessarily lose our personal info (I did an online chat with a tech yesterday). I'm sure he forwarded me to the engineer so that they can try to charge us, but hey, won't know til I talk to him. Not that I'm going to be in the mood for another dentist appt. tonight and if this new crown is half-metal as well, then the doc and I are going to have a talk. The headaches and throbbing are getting really old. Cross your fingers for me that the permanent crown decreases those side effects, because my patience is gone where that's concerned.

Monday, March 29, 2010

The horror

No pics for awhile :( My home computer caught a virus on Saturday.


I've consulted with a guy at work whom I trust, and his advice is that we're going to lose everything. We'll be able to have what we started with, but won't be able to save anything we've added. For Les, this may only mean losing a game that he uploaded from the Web. For me, the loss is significantly greater, as I'm a tool and never backed up my photos (oh, so THAT's why everyone uses Flickr!), and I'll lose iTunes. The good news is I can try something myself to restore it, and hopefully bypass shelling out more than $100 to some store to do it. GeekSquad wanted $199, the bastards...think I've lost a little respect for them, especially if resetting the system is as easy as my work contact says. CompUSA wanted less than that, but I'm sure neither place can give a guarantee that they'll retrieve our stuff, so why shell it out? Discussing with Husby tonight...

I'm feeling rather zen about it. I won't lie...not being able to jump on the sucker on Sunday gave me the DTs, but being back at work is helping. How sad is that. I'll never be one to shun technology, far from it, but I can't help wondering if the Waldorfers who are so proud of themselves for keeping the TV in a closet, how they'd react to losing their iTunes...just sayin'...

The big hurt is losing my photos, everything from Dad's memorial and Nanie's funeral trips, our anniversary trip last year, SC shots. I've bounced some good ones of those to FB in the past, and I'm realizing that I have my memories of those times, and it's helping. I was pretty drunk at Dad's stuff, but I'll always remember how beautiful his wood box looked next to their wedding picture, and Nanie's funeral memories will always be laden in that amazing snowstorm that hit as we were leaving the church.

Anyway, I was lost without it (the computer) yesterday, and that pisses me off, because it's not like I would've spent the day doing constructive stuff on it, like writing letters of intent or educating myself on real estate agencies in NC. No, more likely I'd have been reading blogs, goofing off on FB...and it gets me thinking about what's important, why I haven't been knitting, why I'm so restless when I have such obvious means of entertainment and energy dispersal other than the computer at my disposal (my chairload of library books, a houseful of crap, etc.). I did get quite a bit done on Saturday, threw out some stuff, organized some boxes...the cruelest irony was unearthing my CDs...the reason we caught the virus was because yours truly was trolling online for song lyrics to update all the no-name entries in my iTunes, and I just happened to hit the wrong website. Ten-plus years of working on computers and I'm still dumb as a bag of hammers about them. But what can you do...I set the CDs aside, and I look forward to adding them to my iPod when the system's restored. Like I said, rather maddeningly zen about it. It's all just stuff.

This post from Farmgirl Fare is just a delightful reminder of Spring and a touch of zen.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

A little cheese, a little whine...

Maine and Vermont getting snow this week. 70F in Florida. Bleh. I get that this makes sense, given the distance between us. Doesn't mean I have to like it.

Actually, in spite of overcast conditions, it is nice having the temps rise...getting me in spring mood, like I want to paint my toenails some weird pastel color that ain't me. Just wish I could put the plants out and add to my little felt SO good to have my hands in dirt the other night!

Husby finally feeling a bit better. Had a CAT scan today, checking for causes of the last 2 months of fun he's been enduring. Driving me to work this morning, he went into a goofy Pink Floyd riff that had him smiling more than I've seen in ages...did my heart good.

Tomatoes not appreciating my efforts so far, have had to pinch off some leaves. Pretty sure I'm watering them too much...researching seedling care.

So. Ready. For next week's dental appointment. The throbbing that occurs around mealtimes on the right side of my head has gotten old, died off, and rebirths itself with every bite, even with attempting to only chew on the left. I have a new half-metal crown that's sensitive (tangent: I'd love to know how people got around the hot/cold conductivity of metal before amalgams entered the picture...were there just more root canals back in the day? Cuz I gottatellya, I'm going to be campaigning for a damn root canal if this lasts more than 2 weeks after the next crown...). The temporary crown is above the new crown, and I'm thinking I have cavities that still need to be dealt with in front of it, so the whole right side isn't loving me right now. I miss ice cream, and I hate eating...trying to limit my diet to soft stuff in the meantime.

Ready for Friday...the usual planned for the weekend, organizing, puttering...maybe farmer's market. Can't believe March is wrapping up, need to spend time on move planning this weekend. Made some to-do lists earlier in the week, and they pretty much read: Dining area: go through boxes, purge, reorganize...bedroom closet: go through boxes, purge, reorganize...about time to act on this common theme.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Winding up the weekend...

Picture explanation below...
So I'm not taking the Mods job; I'm staying in QC. Not into same pay for more stress, plus I can't stand the idea of selling anything, let alone having it determine a portion of my pay. It's just not for me. Plus, I'm pretty sure my bonus potential is better where I am (which we definitely need if we have any chance of moving this year), and the possibility of the Mods job helped me realize that I am, first and foremost, a writer and editor, so why not try to excel at that...

My boss is in the process of training our copywriters about writing for advertising. I'm too cynical to think it'll stick the way we'd like it to, but it's also helping me see ways that I can improve my own thinking and performance as an editor/potential copywriter. Nice opportunity that will hopefully help me once I'm hunting...

This has been mostly a lazy weekend, but I'm surprisingly OK with that. Yesterday I ran some errands, napped a bit, hit the I sorted some bills, cleaned the kitchen, enjoyed a toothache...but I'm feeling OK with just puttering, not beating myself up for not digging into boxes or baking bread. These things need to have their own pace, just like the vegetarian lifestyle. That sure ain't going to happen overnight, but I'm still trying.

Have run into another roadblock where my planting is concerned, that has me a little worried/perplexed. Our porch is small and cluttered with a charcoal grill, an old end table, an assortment of plant pots, and the ever-present aloe that refuses to die. Actually not certain how alive the aloe still is, as this was a particularly cold winter in north FL.

So I've mentioned before that Les thought the neighborhood ducks were frequenting our porch...well, sometime between March 6th and now (because we used the grill for our anniversary dinner), they decided the old litterbox I had stashed under the end table was a safe enough spot to start a family. There's at least a dozen eggs in there. I'm delighted to be able to bear witness to nature so closely (hopefully), but worried about what will happen when/if they hatch? It'll be a couple of weeks before the ducklings get big enough to fly off the porch down to the ground. I know better than to try to move them before they hatch, as it's probable the ducks would abandon them completely and they'd die; and we're definitely not going to tell the complex, because they'd probably just call animal control and get the ducklings killed. So I'll do a little web research, and we're staying off the porch for now. I'm transplanting the seedlings tonight (indoors), and they'll go in the front window for a while. Cross your fingers that the complex employees don't notice's unlikely, but still...and ANY advice is welcome.
Nice way to start Spring though, huh :)

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Note to self...

Start frickin' buying some Amy's frozen dinners to get you through the lazy times!!!

Caved and did Zaxby's yesterday. Celebrated my good labs with some really crappy mac & cheese...could've at least bought Annie's, but didn't. Today, my head was elsewhere, so did breakfast ala Starbucks. My local godsend is a test market for breakfast sandwiches, that usually kick butt...artisan bread, egg, gouda, and bacon or ham. Today the bacon was so undercooked, it left a creepy residual flavor on the sandwich even after I pulled it all off. I'm finally turning a corner where meat is concerned. So fast food's really skeeving me out of late, and I don't want to piss away my lunch half hour on a Publix run. If that's the biggest thing I have to whine about, I'm in pretty good shape, huh?

In other news, they're vetting me to maybe move to Mods (modifications) within the company. I'm keeping my positive, use-me-where-you-need-me face out front, but lord, it'll be grueling being back on phones, if this does go through. There's opportunity to learn a thing or two, but there's kissing customer's asses too. Here's hoping my maturity overrides my lackolithium...

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Hump Day Quickie

aahh...if only :)

Husby's rallying ever so slightly, but we're being proactive...he has an appointment with the local gastroenterology outfit next week, and he's getting labs done. Went with him to the doc this morning and FINALLY got my own lab results (from frickin' 4 months ago...No diabetes! Cholesterol AND triglycerides in normal range! Woohoo!).

May actually be able to squeeze the Photoshop training out of my company after all...they're looking for people to work Modifications (rotational, I'm betting, to utilize resources when other areas are dry...they sent people home today on my team due to the lackowork...scary when that happens). We'll see...but I'm even looking forward to the phone work it involves, because I haven't had to deal with customers in years, and the level of agoraphobia and misanthropy that that encourages can't be good for me. Though I'm sure the misanthropy will only get worse once I'm actually dealing with the idiots, but still...will certainly help expand my knowledge, fluff up the ole resume :)

Weather sucks the next 2 days, but I'm determined to get those seedlings into pots...set 'em out on the porch this morning so that at least they're getting light. Went to dentist after work yesterday, so did nothing last night...I'm a pretty tense dental patient, so it wipes me out afterward. 2nd temporary crown on, and sensitivity is dropping on that side, thank goodness. I'm getting a little tired of doc appointments, but it does feel good to get my ducks in a row healthwise.

And yes, I'm wearing my green...Dad was 100% Irish, Mom's a bit of a mutt. Regardless of the take on history that has St. Patrick playing a key role in driving the Druids and pagans out of Ireland, I still wear my green proudly today. Besides, what does that matter...we pagans are still around, so who gives a crap? I think of how proud Dad was of his Irish heritage, and I honor him today with my green. Erin saoirse go bragh!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Living, learning...

OK, so didn't get to the plants last the time my shows were on, didn't want to do anything. Mondays are the only night where I'm blessed with decent TV for a couple of hours straight though, so I should be able to get those plants started tonight. Besides, they've got to be starting to droop from being out of the light, poor things. I have the dentist today after work, so should be looking to burn off steam while avoiding dinner later....not going to want to eat while one side of my face is numb.

Steamer just ain't worth the effort on rice. Plugged that sucker in last night all jazzed to cook up a little stir fry, and ended up eating the veggies by themselves, because the rice wasn't cooked 2 hours later. However I boiled said rice afterward, tending carefully to the heat, and managed to keep it from burning and retain the flavor. So I just need to exercise a little patience on the burner, and maybe soak the grains beforehand? I know, I know, rice cooker...but why buy a new appliance if a standard pot will work with a little effort...

Stir fry and Tex Mex will get old quick though, so I'm educating myself on recipes this week, studying how to cook stuff like quinoa, tofu, and groats properly so I don't screw up their flavor the first time out. Good thing too, as I'm finding online advice that's helpful, like how quinoa has a bitter outer layer that should get soaked off first. And learning as I go, as the strange smell that's been permeating the apartment is likely the broccoli that was left in the fridge for a week in an open was still in perfect shape when I cooked most of it last night, but it gives off a gas, hence why you see people selling those green produce bags on TV that I tend to poo-poo as another money-making gimmick. Research, research...

Funny how I'm craving healthy now when I slip though...didn't make time to pull together meals yesterday before work and paid for it in an interesting fashion. Lunchtime rolled around and I had no desire to hit fast food at all, which left me at loose ends. I grabbed a frappuccino instead and it kept me from being hungry all afternoon (I would think so, since we're talking about nearly 500 calories of sugar water), but I was roaring for some real food by end of day and it had to be healthy. So I chopped up veggies, started the rice. I'm determined to steer clear of meat and I'm going to keep reading the propaganda until I feel the same way about eggs. Until I have my own chickens, that is.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Full of Promise.....Monday?!

Damn Spring fever...engaging rambling post...NOW!

Seriously gorgeous weather burst forth this past weekend...sunny and 60s with a stiff breeze. I went to Home Depot to look around and ended up buying a couple of seedlings (tomatoes, red bell peppers, and flat parsley) and then going next door to Target for the rest...potting soil, peat planters, and herb seeds: cat grass, chamomile, marjoram, basil, and rosemary. So the Growing Challenge tag is back up on the ole blog...feel free to check her out.

I wasn't even going to plant this year, was going to use the move (::crosses fingers::) as an excuse not to bother. I'm even starting out with a pretty significant handicap, as I don't trust the cat to leave the stuff alone while I'm babying it initially, and we recently discovered that the neighborhood ducks had flown up to our porch to dig into the leftovers from last year. But gardening means coping with all kinds of wildlife, so I may as well start learning to adapt. I just couldn't stay away from it this year, not with the serious case of Barnheart that's been fueling my current reading and eating choices.

I'm glad I'm rallying, because the weekend feels like a wash...though naturally, I'm being too hard on myself. I worked 5 hours Saturday to make up some of the time from last week's excursions. Plus, was a pinch hungover Saturday from slamming a couple of beers at Mom's...I won a contest where a guy comes over to your house, cooks you dinner, and then tries to sell you exorbitantly high-priced cookware. I'll be more careful what contests I enter at Southern Women's Show in the future. It was pleasant enough, but pretty unnecessary...we had it at Mom's because her place is much nicer than ours, and she invited some really sweet neighbors, so the evening was pleasant enough, but still...yeesh!

So got home from work Saturday, imbibed a ridiculous amount of greasy fast food to get rid of rest of hangover, and crashed for a couple of hours. Les's diverticulitis is taking its sweet time leaving his system, so he was down for the count all weekend. Sunday I puttered, did most of the laundry, ignored the kitchen and dining room, and purchased the aforementioned planting supplies, but then couldn't bring myself to do anything with them. I know I need time on the weekends to chill, especially after last week, but it's frustrating when I rally on Monday and can't address half the stuff that didn't get hit on the weekend, because I'm buried in work (tangent: work that is very frustrating of late and punctuates the clusterf*ck organization that has evolved at my place of business). Doing all that laundry aggravated my groin area...the site's healed fine, but it's twingy down there, which just ain't natural for us ladies IMHO, and means I can't sit still at work today, because my undies land right at the wrong spot. Whinewhinewhine...

When I'm like this, slightly depressed and ornery, good nutrition and apartment cleanliness take a backseat...which only makes me ornerier. As the fast food slip will attest, when there's money in the bank and no planning has occurred, it's of course easier to revert back to yucky habits. Now granted, I did feel worlds better after Saturday's nap, and I gave thought to smart food before hitting up the Burger King for grub, but I am seeing how lazy it is. How I need to lay off the booze entirely while I'm trying to drop weight and get healthy. How important it is to educate myself on recipes, so I can throw good food together as easily as I throw together the bad stuff. I tried on Saturday night, cooked some brown rice to have with leftover (Greenwise) chicken, but it was a disaster, because I'm not used to cooking rice yet. We inherited a steamer from Mom, and it's coming out of the cabinet for good now, because I'm really sick of destroying rice because I can't get a handle on the heat. Besides, the best brown rice IMO is from PF Chang's and I'm pretty sure all they do is steam it. It may take longer, but the flavor is exquisite.

So...tonight, start my plants and clean the kitchen. This week, I hope to dig into the dining area in the evenings, continue educating myself on recipes, and staying off the meat. Should be a bit easier this week, because Les's diet is significantly modified while he's recovering, so I can indulge in my own meals.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Frustration, mental wanderings, the usual

Work.....has me thinking about how I'd like to work elsewhere. Has me thinking about NC.

Friday......good feeling.

Husby's still sick, poor guy...will spend weekend doting on him.

I'm still just a pinch out of sorts since Tuesday.....thinking of doing a cleansing ritual. When you're not used to doctors' offices and medical procedures, there's a feeling of violation that results....whether it's from the occasional groin twinge or the restrictions on activity during recovery...i don't know...just doesn't have me completely feeling like me. Will be glad to have the weekend to get back into my routine. May have to work early Saturday, but otherwise, planning a light walk, maybe a visit to the Arts Market, and a good pinch of organizing and planning. Another full-of-promise Friday :)

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Healthy. Everything looks good.

Great words up there. Pretty sure that's what the cath doc said...I was kind of out of it, but have Husby as a witness.


What I remember and what actually happened are two different things. I've been on anesthesia once before (bottom wisdom tooth extraction), but for that I was completely out. This twilighty stuff was rather hilarious. Once I was on the table, they gave me something...and the ceiling started moving. Then the doc came in to check on me, give me a reassuring pat on the head, and I cracked wise at him, and he told them to give me some more. I don't remember what he said, but I remember saying something like "well, you're the one who keeps ordering all this shit." Gotta remember to apologize...ah, follow-up's not for a month, he won't remember either.

Procedure was supposed to take about 15 minutes...I remember about 5. Then they wheeled me back to my room, where I dozed for quite a while. They keep you for about 2 hours after the procedure to ensure you're reacting OK under anesthesia and that there are no complications near the entry site at the groin. Les got some reading in, and we watched a couple of Food Network shows. Terrific service at the cardiologist office...the professionals there have that rhythm going, where you barely notice what they're doing to you as they're doing it, and for folks like me who've rarely been stuck in clinical settings, it was nice, kept the nervousness under control.

I napped the afternoon away, and Les kept me tied to the bed all evening...wouldn't let me play on the computer until like, 9 p.m. :( But I really was exhausted, and it's carried over to today. I'm back at work, but definitely not running any marathons. Site's fine, but I'm betting it'll bruise now that I'm back in regular clothes.

So I'll spend the week recovering and then get back on the stick. I swear I'm going to print out about 5 copies of this Cold Antler Farm post, keep one in my purse, one at work, one at my so clearly states how I want to live my life and how I need to react when the depression sucks me into a brown stare in front of the TV.

Looking forward to the weekend...researching, organizing, cleaning, a little walking...Les cleaned the kitchen last night though! I need to get laid out more often :)

Monday, March 08, 2010

Monday and other nonsense

Poor Husby is enjoying a bout of diverticulitis, so took him to the doc today.

Tomorrow I'm having the angiogram done. Not thinking about it too hard. There's no point in getting nervous over it, I figure. Instead I'm concentrating on esthetics, like I really should shave my legs and maybe some other places... /:)

They said that my pics from the nuclear stress test showed a shadow, which they think is a breast artifact (meaning my boob was in the way). I think they're telling me everything...i mean, it's obvious when I talk to people that I worked in medicine for 5 minutes and understand the terminology. Still...

I put on the brave face for Husby, of course; poor guy's worried enough for the both of us. But I'm sure once I'm in the clinical setting tomorrow, I'll be a little spooked. I mean, nobody likes being in a gown having stuff done to them. Still...

But I'll bring something to read during the down time (they're giving me a local, I think, so knitting would be foolhardy), and dream of my farm and living further north. They're good dreams; they keep me going.

Friday, March 05, 2010

Fabulous Friday (and some self-righteous blathering about food...)

Seriously don't wanna be at work today...arrived here and opened my e-mail to reveal a rather significant personal screw-up...nothing job-endangering, just embarassing because it was offered up as an example for the whole team to learn from, and I can't stand making mistakes like that. Have been dreaming of Starbucks Latte or end-of-day Budweiser.....gotta love emotional eating, or drinking, as the case may be.

And yet, the emotions have definitely shifted in the eating department. It's payday and instead of being lazy and hitting Zaxby's for the world's best fast-food chicken fingers, there's a salad of green leaf, navy beans, Bacos, and honey mustard waiting for me in the fridge. Made it last night, took all of 10 minutes. I'll need to step out for some healthy snack food to get me through the afternoon, because the desk drawer is bare, but the desire to cave and grab a Coke or a candy bar just ain't there.

And my desire for meat has been all but wiped out. Treating ourselves to some filet mignon tomorrow night, because it's our wedding anniversary, and the only reason I won't go organic on that is because Mom's offered to buy our dinner as a gift, sweet lady. But I'm hoping to hit Whole Foods this weekend, and get a better look at Publix's Greenwise offerings, do some price comparisons, because I just can't afford to buy more than produce at Native Sun. It's a lovely store and I like contributing to a family outfit, but when you're seeing the same things on Publix's shelves for 2/3rds the cost, there's no point, not at my salary. Plus, that's saying something, because Publix ain't the cheapest store in the area's just infinitely nicer to shop in than Winn-Dixie.

But man, their produce is terrific (Native Sun's)...who knew that lettuce had flavor? I picked up some Publix romaine a couple of weeks ago, and it was bitter and nasty. Have been enjoying a peppery red leaf lettuce this week, and today's green leaf looks equally yummy. It requires being a very prudent shopper...with tomatoes out of season, they wanted $4.99 a pound for the hothouse variety, so I had to pass...but shouldn't food shopping be that way anyway? What a concept, not just grabbing what's easy, what's packaged to require the least effort...when you think of the effort required to create food that requires the least effort of the's mindblowing. I'm not against the occasional frozen dinner or premade entree, but I'm sure going to be studying where it all came from more closely.

Can't believe it's taken me this long to wake up to this...and the knowledge that comes with this can be daunting. I'm not a fan of PETA's scare tactics to turn people vegan, but I also can't deny the hard truths...for example, that if a big-label egg outfit is offering a cage-free organic egg, it stands to reason that it's going to be made using the most minimal criteria to get that label, because the bulk of their business is the ordinary way. The bird that created your egg may not be jammed in a battery cage with 5 of her closest friends, but she's instead probably in a barn with 10,000 of her closest friends, broiler-style, dropping said eggs on the floor of a glorified ammonia factory, and her beak was probably still clipped because chickens in close quarters are cannibals by nature. I get that it has to be that way in order to feed America; I'm just choosing to no longer buy into it.

For the big outfits, their idea of free range is a doggie door leading to a corral, the threshold of which most chickens never think to cross. They're smart birds, but they're also pretty singular-minded. I want to laugh out loud at the notion that Walmart is green friendly, because they recently announced cage-free on all their Great Value brand eggs...I shudder to think of the conditions needed to supply that demand. So I'm opening my mind to substitutions as well...I thought I was going to be able to be lacto-ovo in this venture, but it's questionable right now. When I have my own chickens, I'll revisit the issue.

So I need to hit the library for some cookbooks, because salads and beans and rice are going to get old fast and I want to shed my fear of tofu, seitan, egg and meat substitutes, soy/almond milk, etc. This is going to require some research and organization, because Husby isn't going meat-free, so I'll need to engage him more in meal decisions and cook a little more initially, until I settle into a groove with this. I'm already feeling healthier, and I'm steering clear of the scale, because losing weight isn't the goal, it's a bonus.

As if that wasn't enough on my plate (lord, what a bad pun!), it's friggin' March already and I need to get cracking on the apartment and the move. Would like to write letters of intent this weekend, talk up potential cities with Husby, and dig into some boxes. Another full-of-promise Friday :)

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Hump day

Still a little sore in my right shoulder...pretty sure it's from sleeping funny...had that pain-in-the-tail portable EKG thing on from Monday to Tuesday, and you don't realize that you're holding your body differently until it's untethered. Wahaa, felt great to get that thing off yesterday!

Frustrating is spending the day actually looking forward to cleaning house a bit, and getting home and having the exhaustion hit...accomplished laundry last night and little else.

Work has been equally frustrating lately...I'm paid according to how many sites I can crank out in a given day, and when I end up sending back more than I edit, it eats into my hourglass, big time. I was pretty angry by the end of the day yesterday, which probably accounts for the exhaustion, because I do leave work at work, so rather than stewing about my crappy numbers, it just knocks me out. So the kitchen still looks hairy, and my brain's a little cluttered. Hoping to deal better tonight...

Have to squeeze a doc appt in on my lunch today...perfect opportunity to be lazy and grab McD's. Yuck! Made a nice, big salad instead. Very pleased with myself :)
Happy late birthday, Dr. Seuss! Pic snuck from wikipedia...he's my fave.

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

One Small Change update

Taken from the new site for this drive:

As for February...

Yeah, well, umm....did I mention I don't have sleep apnea?

I'm not a huge fan of February, but given that this year appears to be moving as quickly as last year did for me, I'd like it back, please.

Recycling didn't get off the ground yet in my house, so I'm designating it as March's task, continuing January's task of purging/cleaning, and adding another earth-friendly grocery bags and a change in diet.

The green grocery bags, I already do, but I occasionally get lazy...and there's seriously no excuse for it, since when I empty the bags, they go on the table in the foyer, which I have to pass to get out in the mornings, so there's no reason I can't grab them and take them back down to the car whenever they pile up there. So no more excuses in that department, because the alternative is buying a fresh bag when I forget, and while they only cost a buck, I've got plenty now, thanks to that system.

The change in diet has been percolating in my head for the last 2 weeks or so...the library books I pulled on small/hobby farming, combined with Web research, have opened my eyes to the there-is-no-pertinent-adjective-to-describe-the-horror that is the US food industry. I'm not necessarily talking about the cases of downer cows and cannibalistic chickens that PETA splashes all over the Web, though that is a concern. It's more about unnecessarily shortening animals' lives. I'm seeing animals in a new light, a sentient light, and it's making it quite difficult to enjoy certain foods now. I get that we're higher up on the food chain, but does that give us the right to shorten dramatically the lives of animals lower than us? I can't rationalize chicken breast anymore, and that sucks, as it's about my favorite meat...but an animal that can live 10 to 15 years, and actually only lives 8 to 12 weeks to end up on my plate, is an animal I think I can do without. Still struggling with it, but the upshot is I'll be eating less meat, going as green as possible on the meat we do buy (without bankrupting us), and studying more as I form my opinions on the subject. I need to get off the red meat anyway...the cardiology appointment was good, but it was also a green light to get the hell healthy before all my small concerns about the ole ticker become actual issues.

Monday, March 01, 2010

Seriously, did I mention no apnea?

The relief I'm experiencing is rather delicious. To know that any issues I have are completely manageable, that I don't even need medication, just the drive to get healthy, which I already have in spades...that I don't need to sleep with an ugly, restrictive mask...that would've made me a little nutty...the sleep study was claustrophobic enough!

My heart is healthy. They are scheduling me for an angiogram, which I'm not looking forward to, but the reason behind it is likely benign...they saw a shadow in the images after the nuclear stress test, which they're pretty sure is "breast artifact"...meaning my boob was in the way and my extra weight prevented them from getting clear pics in that area. I'm also wearing a portable EKG for 24 hours so they can try to measure any flutters; but they're not worried, so I'm not. Husby is, but I guess that's his job to be...I'll talk him down later tonight. They've cleared me to exercise, and I'm getting back to eating healthy and exercising with a vengance.

This week I'll experiment with salads...bought some red and green leaf lettuce, spinach, canned beans, etc. at the local health food outfit, and I'm comparison shopping big-time, realizing that Publix sells a lot of what I'm looking for, for a fraction of the health food store prices. Also recognizing that we can't afford the holy-crap-exorbitant prices that they charge for free range chicken breast, so it's going to have to be a choice of decreasing meat or standards. I'm doing a combination of the two, personally, and switching to Greenwise wherever possible.

Also, may not seem healthy, but it's a step in the right direction for me...I finally tried Green & Black's and I'm pretty sure it's ruined me toward all other chocolate. This is a good thing, as the expense of the bars and richness of the candy has me buying them sparingly and treating myself to just a bit in the evenings, rather than plowing through a sleeve of Thin Mints or something. I think it'll be a step in the right direction where my chocolate addiction is concerned.

Also, crown almost 100%, thank goodness :)

Yay! Ticker's OK!

No apnea, good results overall! More later...