Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Job whining...and an epiphany?

I'd like to start my park ranger job now, please.

Well, ok, so I don't have it yet; haven't even applied, though I'm thinking of doing so very soon with a well-written cover letter explaining my moving sitch. But right now, the 10-hour days are enough trouble without the clients being complete boneheads.

Maybe I'm missing something...

Coupon for a general contracting firm—Receive FREE heat loss with coupon offer

Maybe this one irks me because our apartment leaks energy like a sieve, so I wouldn't mind a discount on my electric at all, if that were an option.

It turns out that they're advertising a free heat loss evaluation of your home with the coupon, but the client, when asked, wanted to leave the above coupon on the home page as is. Sorry, not on my watch; sometimes you have to save these clients from themselves.

What's more frustrating though, are the blatantly incorrect items that make it through design. I completely understand that things can get lost in translation. Our sales team is in Spokane, WA, so it stands to reason, especially with the southern clients, that they're not always going to understand what the person's saying. That's where phonics comes in. However, our design team is under such pressure to crank out sites, they don't even bother trying to translate, and some of the mistakes don't take a rocket scientist. Did I mention the convenience store that sold bold peanuts last week?

Speaking of Peanuts, Charlie Brown Christmas tonight at 8!! JC may be just a man in my book, but I get the greatest warm fuzzy every year, when Linus quotes from the Book of Luke.

Anyway.....was reading one of the family websites yesterday, and I think it's wrought a bit of a change in me. One of my cousins is enjoying her 4th year of sobriety...only 30 years old, bless her heart! She mentioned it in a blog-type setting where my uncles and aunts were mentioning what they were thankful for this Thanksgiving. I'm not sure what her particular poison was, but that's not what's important...Her obvious pride got me thinking...and thinking...about the legacy of "controlled alcoholism" in our family. Yes, I know that's a statement of denial and a contradiction in terms, but it's also the best way to describe my dad. Plus if you believe the possibility of inherited alcoholism, then half my genes have that potential because both of my mom's folks were alcoholics. What's tricky is that I'm certainly not a fall-down drunk, not a party-til-you-puker, not one to wake up in an alley with no memory of the last 3 days. Money's usually so tight, that whether or not there's booze in the house isn't even an issue. But then when a little dough does sneak in for me to buy a six-pack or a bottle of wine, it gets drunk in one sitting easily. I can't have "just a beer or two" or just a glass of wine; where's the point in that? I want the buzz, and I want it to stick around for as long as possible; and unfortunately, I've got a damn fantastic constitution for the stuff. There's a line from West Wing, when Leo's confessing to his attorney about the time he slipped off the wagon on Johnny Walker Blue, and he says something like, "I don't understand how anybody can have 'just one drink'..." I understand that sentiment all too well.

I've only seen this cousin like, twice in our lives, when we were kids, because they live out in California, but I've thought of her often, because I'd heard the lightest of rumblings along the family grapevine that she was enjoying her 20s in a rather Lil Bro-esque fashion. Reading that statement yesterday really got me thinking about the kind of person I am, the kind of person I want to be for Les and our kids. How badly I want to go back to school someday, and how I want other careers, ones that don't involve a cubicle. How I don't want to be craving beer while I'm pregnant if/when...because unfortunately I'm also one of those people who plain enjoys the taste of beer. And I realized I need to find some tools to address the issue.

It's tricky, even with their editing, to adapt the ideas of the AA Big Book to a pagan mindset, so I'm also throwing myself back into the teachings of Reclaiming and Feri. Some would say that trying to start this right before the holidays is like starting a diet on Halloween, but I'm feeling a kind of strength and knowledge that this is the right time to soul search and move forward. Between my delightful chemical deficiencies, my extra-large body, my filthy house, and my treadmill-esque job, I'm usually not a big fan of me. I think that's definitely part of what attracted me to going clean, now; that element of self-pride that was evident in her writing. I want that. I want that even if I never lose a pound or never make it back to school. I need to learn to define myself. Never too late, right?

Monday, November 27, 2006

Back to the grind...

But man, what a nice weekend!

With the exception of some fantastic food and a skein of White Buffalo, I got very little accomplished this weekend, and I'm ok with that. Thanksgiving was nice...the sweet potatoes gave me some trouble and turned out rather unremarkable, but everything else kicked ass! Husby roasted the turkey to perfection out on the grill, I made chocolate mousse and apple butter pumpkin pie, and Les complimented me all weekend by hoovering the leftovers. We stayed in, and miraculously I don't feel like a closet case as a result.

The White Buffalo cape is going to be Seal Heather Brown only...I looked at it last night and realized a) solid stripes of the different colors would be unflattering and bland, and b) the colors themselves could coordinate better than they do. So I'm on my last puck, and starting to decrease, praying that I've given myself enough room to do so, because I shudder at the idea of frogging back with this yarn. I'll think on closure options this week - right now, the toggle button idea is still front and center - and it should be done in time for Meara's graduation, not that I'll be able to wear it because she lives in frickin' Orlando.

Other random thoughts:
—Christmas presents rock! Went wandering with Mom and Meara on Saturday night and ended up at one of the local Vera Bradley outlets. Grabbed their last On the Go model in New Hope for 20% off, because New Hope is retiring. It's a beauty!
—Gotta dig up the cash for one more Rosebud doll. Holly Hobbie lunchbox came in this weekend.
—Company Christmas party this Friday...barely worth writing about, just a chance to dress up and grab some free country club food

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Home stretch already!

Tomorrow's Thanksgiving? When did that happen?

I'm getting psyched. We shopped last night and got almost everything, and I think I picked up the last few items on my break today. Hope so, 'cause I'd really rather not darken the doorstep of another store until this holiday is past us. How people head out at the crack to shop the day after Thanksgiving and brave the malls and WalMarts without firepower is beyond me.

Brunch tomorrow is pumpkin bread and bacon biscuits (both from Southern Living; can't get the links to come up). Dinner is Grilled Turkey Breast, Crockpot Sweet Potatoes with Apples (subbing apple pie filling where it calls for peach), Cauliflower Gratin, and Sauteed Green Beans with Bacon (having trouble getting that link, but it's from http://www.southernliving.com too). Dessert is chocolate mousse and/or Apple Butter Pumpkin Pie. I can't wait for that last one. I grew up enjoying apple butter on my Thomas' English muffins, and haven't had it in an age. I knew I wanted to do something else harvesty for dessert, but hadn't decided, when I caught Paula Deen's Southern Thanksgiving on the Food Network this past weekend and saw this recipe. I found a nice white zin from Biltmore Estates to have with the meal, and I'm hoping there'll be just enough brandy left over from the cauliflower recipe to have with my coffee at dessert. :)

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Holy frick, there's a chill!

Normally, I race open-armed into ANY cold weather, but my recent mood swings wrought a little cynicism on this subject, the upshot being the mindset of 'why wear the heavy coat to go to work if it'll be 80 by lunchtime.' The past 2 days though, Jack Almost-Frost snuck in and stuck around. So I leave to grab sundries at lunchtime and the chill whips right into my overshirt. Woke me up the rest of the way at least...my butt was dragging this morning because I didn't rinse out my coffee mug enough, so my coffee had this lovely, light flavor of Publix's Antibacterial Dish soap. Yuck! Luckily Les's jacket was in the backseat, though I had to reconcile myself to the fact that it's too small for my shoulders and upper arms. ::sigh:: We're almost exactly the same size (though he'll say he's taller), but I've got 40 pounds on him. grr...

Speaking of mood swings, yesterday we in Jacksonville played a game called "Ways to Tell a Relative Is Off Their Meds." A woman went to the Shands Hospital pharmacy, decided she'd had enough of this waiting-in-line shit, pulled out her gun, and shot the pharmacy manager point blank 3 times. The pharmacy manager later died, leaving behind a husband, 2 kids, and the beginnings of a third. Happy Thanksgiving. Have I mentioned lately how much I hate this city?

Jags won last night; that was cool. We needed the ego boost, but it's still gonna be an uphill climb to the playoffs. And with Indianapolis in our division, it's hard to even take the road to the playoffs seriously. The Colts' loss on Sunday was delicious, but they're still easy contenders for the #1 or #2 spot overall this year. Bastards.

Got half the laundry done and rotated the dishes, so even though it's a drop in the bucket where that apartment is concerned, it feels less cluttered. Tonight we'll food-shop; hopefully the shelves won't be bare yet. There was still plenty of everything last night, but it was also frickin' busy.

We interrupt these mundane reports for a mini-rant: Back in August, our team leader told us that they wouldn't be measuring revenue month-by-month anymore, rather it would be more day-to-day, thus eliminating the mad rush to get sites out at the end of each month. That seems to have been a pipe dream. By September, they were leaning on us again for OT at the end of the month to get sites out the door. I figured they were doing it because it was end of quarter; now that we have an IPO, it's all about the money: positive revenue=positive stock future. Alas, October brought the same type of rush, and would've put a damper on Halloween except for sales taking a dip. Which brings us to November and that inconvenient holiday giving us a 4-day weekend. To remedy the time loss, our Op Mgr decided to initiate mandatory 10-hour days from the 27th to the 29th. It's barely a big enough deal to whine about, but I'm still ticked. It's just a little harder to enjoy a 4-day weekend, when you know you're going to go right back to being strung out and bleary eyed from too much computer time the minute you get back. And why bother telling us about the day-to-day concept if they had no intention of following it?

But I know that it really stings because I'm just barely making it through my 8-hour days at present. I'm not sleeping well lately; I switched pillows and it's gotten a little better, but still has me a bit on edge from that raw feeling you get from not sleeping well or enough. I get done with work and I could skip to the car for the feeling of freedom it gives me. I get home and pile on the husby to get my hugs, and then dive into some knitting or reading, lose myself in a world away from the Internet and the vapid commercialism that permeates our society. The Christmas commercials on TV are really pissing me off this year too. I can tell that my ways of celebrating Yule are going to change this year. Not sure how yet...

Got my Scarlet Rosebud doll in the mail yesterday, and the Love Notes doll - both in really nice condition! Still doing the bid dance with another doll and a Holly Hobbie lunchbox. eBay's disturbingly addictive, and I haven't even gone into the yarn areas. If I'm going to buy yarn over the web though, I want it to be from the fantastic bargains at KnitPicks, but eBay is loaded with hidden treasures - you've just gotta know where to look.

Monday, November 20, 2006


Cubicle life is interesting to tolerate when you're flying just below the sanity radar. Elizabeth Wurtzel described life off meds once as where your whole body feels like one big nerve ending, or like you're walking around without skin. While I tend not to identify with her experiences anymore, because she personifies a "me!me!me!" whiny personality that no amount of therapy is ever going to relieve her of, I still admit to appreciating her flair for description. You've got the A/C hum, coaches and team leaders talking to coworkers around you, people coughing without covering their mouths because they figure they don't have to since they're in cubes, and you're trying to focus on what feels like your 20th Herbalife site of the day without letting something mundane slip by, like spelling receive/recieve. The majority of my coworkers listen to music with headphones/earbuds, but I have to be in the right frame of mind to do that. I'm ready to fly outta here, but I've got an hour to go, and going home means doing laundry when I'd rather spend a little time under the covers. S'pose I could pull off both, but I really need to get the laundry and cleaning done tonight, because tomorrow night will be shopping for Thanksgiving.

Restless, but not wanting to do anything...that's the way I was last night...banging around the apartment because there wasn't enough on TV and I wasn't motivated enough to clean. I know when I get home tonight, I'll sit still initially, maybe re-sort the laundry or tuck into the dishes to avoid starting the laundry, and I've got decent TV tonight (Charlie Brown, Heroes, Studio 60) so I'll be able to focus on that while I knit or fine-tune the shopping list for tomorrow, but getting to that point...this is a tough time. I think about asking Doyle for an increase in my Paxil, and then I remind myself that I've only been back on it for going on 3 weeks, so I need to take this as the growth opportunity that it is, head down, push on...drink water, drive on, private, as Cyril would say, the mantra of Army basic training...similar idea in about the only funny part of an old Anthony Michael Hall movie, Johnny Be Good:

Johnny: Coach, I broke my dick.
Coach: Well, throw some dirt on it and get back in the game, son!

I put chocolate on the hurt spots, and my butt stays big. I need to get outside as much as possible when the temps are down like they are at present. I think it's the only thing that kept me hinged last time we were in SC, that and Kylie, my beautiful, dark-eyed niece. I set her on my chest and look into those inquisitive eyes. She has a full head of dark brown hair that takes on an adorable punk-rock look, and holding her gives you that "all's right with the world" feeling.

But my biological clock's not outta control...

Not enough hours in the day

Another weekend bites the dust.

I should've seen this coming. ruthee's warned me before about Paxil taking longer to work when you go back on it after coming off it, but it's moot because at the time I was weaning, I had no intention of ever going back on it. How f*cking naive is that?!

So the house is still filthy, the grocery shopping and laundry didn't get done, and Thanksgiving is in 3 days. Luckily I'm putting all this pressure on myself, given that we're not entertaining family, so I can take it with a grain of salt. Should probably buy more salt.....

I've fine-tuned the menu, changed the sweet potato dish, added another side (cauliflower gratin), and gone lazy on the bread (I'm thinking Publix Italian sandwich bread—it kicks ass!). Was watching Paula Deen yesterday and snatched up her recipe for Apple Butter Pumpkin pie—that sounds like heaven! Still gonna make chocolate mousse sometime this weekend too, as well as those chocolate mint cheesecakes, probably a chocolate pudding pie for my folks, snickerdoodles for my sis, and for Thanksgiving morning, pumpkin bread, and if I can procure the magazine I saw it in, bacon biscuits, which are actually bacon, egg, and cream cheese in biscuit muffin cups...kind of like a slap-dash mini quiche. Took us 3 stores to find the indirect BBQ racks for the grill...you'd think a state like Florida would keep that stuff in stock year-round...yeah, not so much...

Work's gonna be grueling this week, because the sales have seesawed so badly this month, that the higher-ups made a goal that we zero out the queues by Wednesday. So I can't really enjoy the short week until Wednesday night. Screw that! In my head, I'm already cleaning, baking, shaking the dust out of that apartment, letting the fresh air blow through. Technically, we've had the windows open since Friday, which means the apartment gets up to the low 70s in the late afternoon, but the nights have been in the high 30s/low 40s, so it cools back down, and lemme tellya, it's making a difference, however small. I love my husby, but he is so smoking outdoors wherever we land in SC. The smell in that apartment is one of several reasons I don't invite people over. I mean, I'm no social butterfly to begin with, but when your pride keeps it from even being an option...

Anyhoo, started the fresh puck of White Buffalo last night, 3 down, 2 to go. It's already to the point of decrease if I were to follow the pattern, but I'm sticking with my decision to go long. Could've used it this morning (36!), and the change in the weather's definitely motivating me to work on it; I'd love to be able to wear it a little this winter.

Thursday, November 16, 2006


I may start whining. Just giving you fair warning.

My life feels like it's in a holding pattern. I'm waiting for several things to fall into place, so that we can move forward a notch, and gathering the patience to endure said holding pattern is a little trying when your body chemistry is still getting back on happy meds. It's only been 2 weeks, so even though the difference was fairly immediately noticeable, it's still going to take awhile for me to feel "normal" again. Anyone who's dealt with waiting for the effects of psychotropic meds to take hold knows just how excruxiating it is. Luckily, we've been so busy at work lately that I'm usually too distracted to notice, but that also means that I shut down fairly completely when I get home, clinging to knitting like a liferaft because it's a part of my life I have control over.

The holidays are galloping toward us. My brain shorts out just thinking about it.

They'll be pushing OT at work again this weekend, but I swear if I don't get some cleaning done in that apartment soon, the cats are gonna move out on our asses. Les tries, but I completely understand his inability to do much - I'm just as useless when I have a headache, and his are so much worse, it's not even a comparison.

We're knitting in the park this weekend if the weather clears; that'll be nice. I have 3 WIPs grabbing my attention at present, the 2 wraps and the White Buffalo cape, which snuck back into my consciousness this week. Was thinking of giving it sleeves or arm holes, but it doesn't entirely fit around me, so I'm sticking with the Cape May pattern. I'm worried about the shoulder shaping; it absolutely needs it because the White Buffalo's so heavy, and I'm not planning to do a large ribbon to close it, like they have in the pattern. Rather, I'm thinking of a couple of toggle buttons at the top, or maybe something with an Asian influence. Do they make giant hook-n-eyes? Plus I'm thinking of doing it longer than they have in the pattern. I mean, no matter how you slice it, unless you're a twig, you're gonna look big in a cape, so I might as well make it long. Besides, I want to use all of the White Buffalo in this one project, I think. I have 2 more pucks of Seal Heather Brown, then 3 Teal, and 1 Slate - the Slate may end up being a collar. We'll see...

Tuesday, November 14, 2006


I just wrote on my SCMoving blog, so my head's a little dry now...just the usual stuff of life going on...

eBay's a little addictive. This isn't news, but what is, is the weird stuff I've been finding and purchasing. I'm going through a strangely nostalgic phase that has to be connected to my desire to have a child. When I was little, Santa discovered Rosebud dolls, which was incredibly cool because my nickname was Rosebud. I owned like 5 or 6 of them; wouldn't look twice at a Barbie, but I adored these little baby dolls. My sis probably inherited them, and lord only knows where they are now. So I'm goofing off on eBay the other day, and sure enough, there's doll collectors and antique stores out there selling them. I've got 3 waiting for me in apparently good condition. Yes, she's 37 years old, folks!

I'm thinking Pepperidge Farm stuffing at Thanksgiving. Lazy, I know. May have to wait on the pumpkin banana mousse tart...can already tell that I'm going to run out of money before I have all the ingredients purchased for this meal. They won't accept our rent for December until we pay the blasted water bill, so this check's going to go damn fast. Maybe I could make it at Christmastime; Les's mom is a pecan pie goddess - it's the requisite dessert at Christmastime. She makes a dozen or more, gives them to neighbors and friends, sells them to her brother to give to his clients/friends...it would make a nice contrast. Ah, we'll see...

Been watching Season 7 of X-Files, borrowed it from Lil Bro. If he thinks he's getting it back.....had to have been the best damn season of that show, so much feeling.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

New word/phrase

My job's fun sometimes. Discovered a misspelling today, and thanks to my knowledge gleaned from L&O: SVU (pause while ruthee laughs at me), came up with a suitable definition for this new word/phrase...

Homeymoon packages—Vacation deals for men on the down-low

Whaddaya think?

Too many desserts!!!

I can't decide what to bake for dessert on Thanksgiving. I usually try for something traditional from the pumpkin or apple families, but Les put in a request for chocolate mousse in the near future, because it's been absolute ages since I did that. I think I've only done it twice, but both times it was heaven! I'm still thinking of the pumpkin banana mousse tart too, but today I also discovered a Nestle recipe for Chocolate Mini Mint Cheesecakes (see piccie courtesy of http://www.verybestbaking.com) that looks really easy and delicious, so you know what? There's gonna be some baking in the near future, regardless of the holidays. I'm in the zone...was hunting around the store yesterday for something sweet for us and was just gonna grab some Snack Packs or something, when I noticed that Nestle semisweet chocolate chips are on sale for $2 a bag from now til New Years', and it dawned on me that I had all the other ingredients at home, for once. Made Toll House last night at friggin' 10 at night, the actual cookies, not the bars, and man, were they a treat! I'm never going to lose this weight.

That's not true, of course; I am trying to eat healthier outside of this baking phase, and I'm trying to get walking again. Been working longer hours lately though, so it's hard to pencil in the time without getting up at frickin' 5 a.m. Like today, Saturday, I'm stuck at the office til 2, and then I'm going home with the hopes of tearing into the house, because it's reached epic proportions of filth yet again, plus I want to rearrange the dining room. Was thinking of getting the computer off the makeshift table and onto the real one, but then again, I'd really like to actually like, eat at that table come Thanksgiving. There's a corner of the bedroom that needs work too, plus I need to dig out some winter clothes now that the temps are dropping, but they're in the walk-in closet, so when I say dig, I mean DIG. I need to pare down my cleaning hopes for this weekend, because reading that last paragraph is already making me tired! Les will probably be sleeping off the migraine when I get home; I'll start with the bedroom and work my way out.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Musings of a Friday

If you find the right pattern, there's something strangely addictive about lace.

Can't be too repetitive or it gets boring; that's the fatal flaw of the SSS. It's going to be beautiful once it's done, but getting there is a long, drawn-out process; I mean, depending on your needle size, by the end of the sucker you're doing something like 500 or 600 stitches to a row! zzzzzzz

Cozy, however, is nifty, I'm finding. It's an 8-row pattern that's not nearly as intimidating once you get going on it, and it works up fast. Not only did I work on it, and ONLY it, at KB last night, but I laid in another 8 rows when I got home, staying up til midnight because I hate stopping mid-pattern; it's too easy to screw it up that way, even if you mark where you stopped. I know my limitations. Working on only that at KB is noteworthy, because I normally bring several projects, work on something for like, 2 rows, get bored, and switch to another project. I've never considered myself to have ADD, but there's definitely a short-attention-span thing going on usually, where my knitting is concerned. But last night, getting past that first set of 8 rows and seeing it actually look like it was supposed to, was a warm fuzzy. I'm using the blasted Wool Ease so it won't block up exactly like it's supposed to when it's done, but there's definitely some definition to the lace, and if I keep at it, I could even have it done in time for Meara's graduation. Then there's the whole issue of whether or not I want to do that to myself because it could make it less fun of a project though, so I'm just playing it by ear.

It's just cool enough in the mornings now to wear my light jackets, though today's supposed to get up to 81, and it's been a little rainier lately so the humidity's up. Still, it's not as bad as summer, and I'm trying to appreciate it so that this time next year, I won't be whiny about the more autumnal climate of SC, if that's possible.

Knitting was nice last night, just ruthee, Dana, Spence, and I and some extended family members. I got to sit next to ruthee's younger goddess in training, who has a smile that lights up her whole face every time you speak to her. Her daughters are 4 and 14ish, I believe, and I couldn't get over the differences in the older girl. I didn't think it'd been that long since I'd seen her, but it has to have been at least a year, because now her hair is long, her face has cleared up considerably, and she's easily taller than me. At 5'8", I'm no slouch, but ruthee's a 6-footer, so this is to be expected. While I'm sure the poor girl is still one big willowy ball of insecurity, as most teenagers are, to the outside spectator, I witnessed her carrying herself with a sort of inborn grace; it was a pleasure to watch her, though I could tell it still needed to be done surreptitiously, as she's not crazy about being looked at. I could hang out with that family all day. I don't call people, so I don't usually see them beyond Thursday nights, but I really ought to get a little more social in the coming months; pack in as much time with these amazing people as I can before we move north.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Hump day


Starhawk wrote a rather beautiful essay on Samhain that speaks to the activist heart of the Reclaiming tradition. It got me thinking. The general midterm elections were yesterday, and we stand to enjoy a gridlocked Congress for the next 2 years. I get desperately bored with my current job and have to fight the feeling that I'm letting life pass me by. I remind myself that it won't always be this way, but in truth, I don't do enough to ensure that that's the case. Reading an essay like that motivates me, stirs things in my belly, gets me thinking about my voice and how I want to use it in this life.

I started knitting again last night. Yanked out the Wool Ease for the umpteenth time, because I didn't like how dark the 2 colors were together. Started a rice stitch wrap with the Blue Mist, and trying my hand at Cozy again with the Heather Rose. Felt good to be knitting.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

The usual grumblings...and then a lotta food!

Rain, rain, stick around
Make the bad guys all go drown!

120 homicides! Can ya tell I'm a little tired of this city? Not of the rain, we certainly need that; for a tropical state, seems we're always bitching about the lack of H2O. But the crime around Jax is just silly. Some poor 20-year-old late last week decided to commit suicide by ramming his car into 3 police cruisers on a high-speed chase in Tinseltown, and then get out of his car with a replica pellet gun and start shooting at the cops. They took him down during rush hour, about a mile from our place. About 2 weeks ago, somebody cut off a police cruiser on a narrow road, causing him to roll his car, and last night some guy goes to check his mail and finds a body in a field. Those 2 gems were within a mile or so of where my folks live. And now I just read about a 13-year-old who may lose his leg after being shot in a drive-by while walking home from the Raines football game last Friday. 13. It boggles the mind.

Well, at least the Jags won on Sunday :) Gotta look at stuff like that or you'll go nuts. And it looks like we'll have Garrard in the QB slot for the rest of the season. Sweet.

Still feeling kind of nutty around the edges, still sleeping a bit too much, stopped knitting. Have tried reading again...got a bunch of stuff out of the library last week on health, fitness, etc., but it's a little hard to make changes with no money and a cabinet stocked with carbs. Also went looking for some fiction b/c I haven't read anything for fun besides Interweave Knits in an age.

I planned my Thanksgiving menu today; that's always fun. Tried to make it a little more realistic this year, maybe cut out the stuffing altogether, gonna see if I can talk Les into a pan gravy instead of his mom's giblet gravy, which is so thick and loaded with protein it's a friggin' side dish by itself. We're talking about a gravy that includes a small pressure-cooked chicken and 1 dozen hard-boiled eggs in its ingredients; your farts color the air for about 3 days afterwards! Well, I suppose I could do a small dish of stuffing and that'll justify the gravy; I'm going to cut all the recipes in half anyway so that we don't throw out as much. That's why we only do a breast; he's a leg man, but we don't want to end up wasting food.

Thanksgiving during the day, while I'm cooking and alternately watching the Macy's parade, the dog show, and whatever the most interesting football game is:
Terra's hummus with pita bread
Benedictine sandwiches (basically cucumber and cream cheese - keeping it light)

Roast turkey breast cooked indirectly on the grill
Smashed sweet potatoes and apples
Green beans with bacon
Cream cheese biscuits
Not sure on the stuffing, if I do it at all; was going to do something with turkey sausage, cornbread, and apples, but I hate doubling ingredients anywhere, so I'll be investigating further

Pumpkin Banana Mousse Tart and maybe a fresh apple pie

Can'ya tell I love Thanksgiving? Add some spiced wine or cider, a day in the 50s tops with a decent breeze, but not so breezy that we can't keep the sliding glass door open, me not burning anything, and the cats behaving, and I've got myself a pretty perfect day. Not too much to ask. Just keep the alcohol consumption to a dull roar, and steer clear of any family drama.

Thanksgiving is mine. Christmas means family with Les's crowd, and my family's investment in holidays unfortunately depends on Dad's mood, which is usually something like, ok, we'll put up the train set, but do we have to do all that goddamn present shit this year?! My mom and sis actually begged me not to get him anything last year, because of the trouble it would've caused. The man's not normal. But he's also increasingly aware of his fragile mortality, and just as likely to suddenly grow a wild hair and decide to celebrate this year. There's no way to know; just gotta roll with it. Luckily we've gone to SC every year for Christmas since I found Les, so we've gotten used to a quickie gift exchange come Santa-time.

We tried Thanksgiving once or twice when C and K were still together; I got to treat the folks to Mom J's twice baked potatoes and a rather sad attempt at pumpkin cheesecake. And Dad's a sucker for a chocolate pudding pie. But they won't plan anything until the weekend before, or worse right before, so Les and I do our own thing. With both Lil Sis and Lil Bro home this year, I'm thinking a dessert invite is in order, but we ain't going over there. By dessert time I intend to be too exhausted, full, and tipsy to do anything but put my feet up and relax with a cup of warm cider or coffee and my best guy.

Sunday, November 05, 2006


Justice is such a pure thing, it's no wonder it doesn't occur that often. My feelings against the death penalty up against a monster like Saddam Hussein...well, let's just say that I thought that after my contradictory feelings about Danny Rolling, that the Butcher of Baghdad would be an easier sell in my head. Nope. In fact, it's easier to justify my anti-death penalty stance; all you have to do is read Amnesty International's website.

First, my self-righteous stance: Saddam Hussein was found guilty and sentenced to death by hanging for crimes against humanity. Sorry, that sentence is just a contradiction in terms.

But the truth is that the Iraqis were over their head from the start, and the trial had no business making it to this point. Attorneys and their families on both sides were threatened, injured, or killed in the process. In America, that'd be a mistrial faster than you can say intimidation. With this particular trial, since it dealt specifically with issues within Iraq, I guess I can understand their reluctance to go outside their borders for assistance. But as his trials continue for crimes above and beyond Iraq, TPTB would do well to recognize where they need help, because to do otherwise is to set a dangerous precedent in a country that's just getting a taste of life beyond dictatorship. They've already got the fundies' view of the Koran dictating justice in certain respects; if they have any hope of retaining a glimmer of human rights, they need other viewpoints. If that means beyond Bush, so be it...right now, that guy wouldn't know human rights if it kicked him in the face. The fact that our Guatanamo detention facility still exists is proof of that.

Enough of that...I'm doing my Samhain ritual tonight. I smelled Half Mile Road today in my bedroom, which makes me think that the veil's really thin and that Nanie's taking a little walk around there. Gonna see if my visualization turns into a visit.

Friday, November 03, 2006

It's a Winnie-the-Pooh day!

Blustery, that is. And not getting any warmer, today, at least. I'd like to move my computer outside now please.

It's hard to get jazzed about a Friday when you know you have to work Saturday. I'm normally a 9-to-5er (well, actually, an 8-to-4:30er), so regardless of how delightful the extra money is, weekend work is still disconcerting. But it's a necessity; our queues have reached beastly levels and the threats are out. Wah!

Still tiring pretty easily, which is frustrating; by the end of the day, my brain is oatmeal. I'm ok during the regular day, but when it catches up to me, it's like being hit by a truck. Patience...

Haven't been knitting much, just a row here, a row there. UFOs include a pink hat, green fingerless mitts, grey scarf, and pink and blue stole, all for me. And of course, the SSS and the cape. Would love to get the cape done for this winter, but don't know how realistic that is. Saw a blog yesterday declaring Lacevember, which has me thinking about tucking into the SSS again.

Have a good weekend, y'all!
graphic snuck from http://www.winniethepoohbear.net