Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Random thoughts and better feelings

Y'ever have a relative (or actually, for the case we're describing, it's usually an ex-relative) who makes you so nuts with their transparent attempts at emotional blackmail, that you'd just like to go over to their house, rip the front door off with your bare hands, and give them a stern talking-to?

But you know you can't do that, and so you stew and think about writing them an eloquent email that would tell them in no uncertain terms that if they don't grow the hell up and knock that shit off, that there's a definite chance that the first option will occur.

But you know that that's passive-aggressive, and so you plan fresh protection spells around your loved ones instead and feel like you're doing nothing.

That's all the time I'm going to waste thinking about my cunt ex-sister-in-law. What else is new?

I'm back on my meds. I'm a happy camper. I guess when your body's used to X med, it's easier for your brain to come around when you go back on it. You know how TPTB say that antidepressants can take up to 4 or 6 weeks to do some good? Well, it's been 5 days for me, and the difference is marked. I'm not 100%, but my energy level has returned, I can accomplish normal everyday things again, and I don't feel like gum on the bottom of a sneaker. And even better, I'm finally reconciling myself to the fact that I could be on this med or something like it for the rest of my life. Well, it's only been 8 or 9 years; about time I gave that concept some thought.

It's Halloween, or Samhain, depending on your philosophy. The distractions of the past month kept me from pulling off any sort of costume for work, so I'm wearing black to honor my ancestors. Samhain is a time to honor the past and look to the future; it's a witches' new year. I burn the old resolutions and write new ones, and meditate hard on how the last year went and what I want to accomplish in the new one. It's a pretty tall order this time, and I can't decide when to do it. When I remember to celebrate the sabbats, I usually do them astrologically, meaning when the sun hits the next sign on or around the known day of the holiday. In Samhain's case this year, it's on Tuesday, November 7 (sun reaches 15 degrees Scorpio), but the full moon is Sunday and I don't think I want to do this ritual on a waning moon, so I'll probably do something this weekend instead. The sad thing is one of the reasons I'm not just doing it tonight, on Halloween, is because I've got 3 solid hours of decent TV on tonight. Religious dedication requires some wiggle room in the distractions of the present.

Ripped out all of Beach this past weekend to start an afghan instead and get rid of the blasted Wool-Ease once and for all, but I can already tell it's going to need modification. I tried to do a seed stitch border with leftover Jiffy, but I'm using size 13s and it's just too damn stretchy. Stupid thing is I just remembered that I have a skein of Wool Ease in the same color beige as the Jiffy border, so I think I'll rip it all out when I get home and start fresh using double-strand Wool Ease throughout on like, size 10s. Actually, may not use the beige at all; the body is one strand dark blue, one strand dark pink, and it's coming out darker than I'd originally planned - would look better with just a blue or just a pink border.

Otherwise, have small projects in the works (hat, scarf, mitts), but I oughta finish them soon, because the crazy part of me has one (only ONE!) project planned for a family member for Christmas, and that'll take some time and effort.

Did I mention I'm feeling better? :)

Friday, October 27, 2006

Distraction

A fresh meme to distract me from the fact that I've been feeling like poop on toast this week...

48 things you probably never wanted to know in the first place:

1. FIRST NAME? Melanie
2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? My folks discovered the name thanks to Melanie Chartoff, popular singer from around, oh, 1969. They didn't expect the nickname issues or that it would get as common as it has.
3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? Crocodile tears over something on TV the other day, can't remember what...
4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Only when I work at it.
5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCHMEAT? Boar’s Head Deluxe Ham
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Wow, that's a good one...I think I would.
7. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? You're reading it. This computer age has made me too lazy to keep a handwritten journal, with the exception of my spell grimoire.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes, unfortunately. They cause sore throats several times a year now.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? No. Never. I also won't jump out of a plane or even ride a decent roller coaster in this lifetime; I'm quite secure in my chicken-ness.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Cheerios & butter...yes, I know, sounds gross, with the addition of taking a perfectly healthy cereal and destroying it with half a stick of fat, but it's SOOOO good!!!
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Not lately, though I always untie them to put them back on.
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Physically I've turned into a marshmallow. Mentally, when I'm medicated, absolutely. Actually, mentally, strong all the time; you have to be to survive the serotonin and lithium deficiencies I've been saddled with.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Coffee, Mint Chocolate Chip, Haagen Daz Chocolate Chocolate Chip, aaahhhh.....damn, now I'm hungry...
14. SHOE SIZE? 11 ::sigh::
15. RED OR PINK? Depends on the shade; dark pink's my favorite (I hate the name mauve), but I really like barn or brick red too.
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? See the last part of Question #12.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Nanie. She hasn't passed yet (95!), but I fear I won't get to see her again before she does, so I think about her A LOT!
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Well, doesn't apply as much on a blog, and most of my knitting blog pals have become COMPLETE SLACKERS, so...
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS, SHIRT AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Blue jeans, grey shirts, light blue NB sneaks.
20. LAST THING YOU ATE? Just polished off the morning Eggos with peanut butter
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The hum of the office
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Mauve, but I'd call myself Dark Pink :)
23. FAVORITE SMELL? Cedar mulch, fallen leaves, pine, cinnamon, the house when I'm baking, my husband when he wears Drakkar, the list goes on....
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Husby. I needed advice; one of our car tires is low.
25. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? Sounds really shallow, but good looks first and then a good heart.
26. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON you stole THIS from? I don’t know her, but she seems like a pretty prolific knitter, so I'm a little jealous.
27. FAVORITE DRINK? Barq's root beer.
28. FAVORITE SPORT? Watching: football, especially our boys (Jax Jags), preferably with a beer in one hand and a bag of regular Lays in my lap ::sigh::. Playing: not sure...I've gotten big and it's been a while. I never was a runner, but I still dream of running cross country, and possibly trying a triathlon in the future. Still loathe volleyball with every ounce of my being :)
29. EYE COLOR? Blue
30. HAT SIZE? Don't know but it's a big sucker...the average Betmar hat is too small :(
31. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Yes.
32. FAVORITE FOOD? Chocolate.
33. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy endings.
34. IF YOU COULD LIVE ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, WHERE WOULD THAT BE? Cabin in the Blue Ridges
35. SUMMER OR WINTER? Winter, hands down. I've been in Florida too long.
36. HUGS OR KISSES? That's almost too personal, because Les's self-consciousness about his teeth has changed our kisses, and our hugs are a full-body, squeezing-together-on-the-couch experience, so while I love me some sloppy snogging, the hugs are winning at present.
37. FAVORITE DESSERT? Too many to name; SERIOUS sweet tooth.
38. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Meara, if she needs a distraction too.
39. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Everyone else.
40. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? Just pulled a fresh batch of overwhelm-ment (yes, that word is an MJ original) from the library, dealing with health, fitness, and yoga, as it has dawned on me that any PCOS symptoms that I've recently been admitting to, are very likely entirely self-inflicted by my out-of-control weight, so if I don't want to completely screw up my fertility, I need to do something about it. Haven't dipped my toes into any novels lately, and I miss that.
41. WHAT’S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? A faded, threadbare surface, and waffle crumbs probably.
42. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV? I indulged in Ugly Betty and some Grey's Anatomy repeats.
43. FAVORITE SOUNDS? Just about anything in nature...farts...baby sneezes.
44. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Sacrilege, I know, but I never really got into either of them.
45. THE FURTHEST YOU’VE BEEN FROM HOME? England
46. WHAT’S YOUR SPECIAL TALENT? I'm a font of useless entertainment trivia, and a decent Six Degrees player.
47. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Norwalk, CT.
48. WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? I snuck it from Maureen of Flower City Knits.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

I found the contradiction

Blast! Just had this all written out and my blankety-blank dial-up connection 86d it. Let's see what I can salvage from my earlier thoughts.

First, a tangent: if instead of the death penalty, I would rather Danny Rolling live the rest of his life in prison, preferably in Gen Pop being butt-surfed on a daily basis by an extremely large inmate who goes by the name of Shirley, then is my personal humanity any better off?

So I'm a bit prolific today. The lack of Paxil in my system has my mind scattered and my butt dragging. I came home, turned off the brain, turned on the tube, and just vegged. 6:00 came and went. Husby's sleeping off the weekly migraine, so I'm alone with my thoughts. Never a good thing; planning to distract myself with knitting and a pedicure later.

6:27, I'm flipping around because Everwood's on commercial and I have no patience, and I happen upon my old faithful, Law & Order. Van Buren's trying to coax a confession out of a guy who murdered a woman because she was financing some fairly Mapplethorpian art. The LT's saying stuff like it was biblical justice that he enacted on the lady, an eye for an eye, and it hits me: he's probably gone. He was, at 6:13, as it turned out. And the contradiction hits me: it's illegal to murder, but it's legal to murder those who murder. How the f*ck did we manage to rationalize that into law? And all I can think is that it's wrong, that no matter how much he deserved to die, it's not for us as humans to say. We shouldn't have that level of power, and yet we've enacted it into law. In lots of states.

I'll grant you, the carnal part of me still thinks that as long as we were going to do it, we should have done it the way he murdered Christa Hoyt, with the segue of relieving him of his balls and shaft while he was still conscious, but above that is this knowledge inside of me that it's wrong and that I do believe that unequivocally. He's not special. He deserved to die, but we had no business killing him.

A vent for humanity

At 6:00 p.m. tonight, I'll close my eyes and say a prayer for myself and for the families of the victims of Danny Rolling. He's scheduled to die by lethal injection later today. I'm glad. That's why I'm praying for myself.

It's a very tough sell, and it crops up in what has been a rather remarkable turnaround of philosophy over the last couple of years. Back in 1990, it wouldn't have even been a question. I was the secretary of the USF College Republicans, a hard-core, pro-defense, pro-death penalty conservative. To be sure, I didn't give the issues the thought they deserved back then, but I was clinging hard to a little piece of stability in my life, which was pretty solely grounded in my friendship with a certain guy and my social networking with the CR crowd. I wasn't medicated yet, and life was quite painful, so I forgive myself now for blindly following the Right the way I did.

I was a student at USF in Tampa in 1990, living on campus, so I saw and felt firsthand some of the fear that Gainesville experienced. Since it took a while for Rolling to be captured, we all lived in some fear, taking safety precautions, not going out alone at night, and such. I met students who transferred to USF from UF, either because they were in fear for their lives or because their parents had made them. A year prior, I had bunked with CRs at the Williamsburg Village apartments on a junket; the first victims were found there. You look back on things like that and enjoy a little "there but for the grace of God..." moment. Rolling was most certainly Gainesville's Bundy, and I don't recommend reading the online information that you'll find about the killings, like CourtTV's Crime Library; it's graphic and nightmare-inducing in the details of his depravity.

About half a dozen years ago, maybe more, the tide turned in my philosophical beliefs. I discovered witchcraft, Unitarian Universalism, and became a granola-eating, nuke-protesting bleeding heart liberal in the best senses of those terms. I mean, I don't even believe the US has any right to sanction or dictate limits in North Korea's arms race until we disarm ourselves. Naive, probably, but not hypocritical.

A biggie in my turnaround is my opposition to the death penalty; I see it as a detractor in our humanity and an act that only brings us to the level of the criminal. It's not a deterrant, and it lessens the human race every time we strap somebody in for it. The fact that Florida retired Old Sparky means nothing; it's still an eye for an eye at the expense of mankind. Like I said, this is a vent.

But Danny Rolling? That crazy sonofabitch didn't even bother to mount a psych defense. Heh, contradiction in terms...oh, he talked of multiple personalities at times and tried to string together a nut persona that turned out to be cribbed from Exorcist II, but before the lawyers could even start posturing, he changed his plea to guilty and admitted that he murdered the Gainesville 5. He wasn't devious or calculating like Bundy, spinning stories left and right to keep himself from the needle. He admitted it. Period. Felt like it, wanted to make a name for himself, no remorse. From there, the lawyers doing the appeals dance was academic, an exercise for Con. Law class.

Maybe I can't change my mind on him because I was stupid and morbidly curious enough to read the true crime websites about the crime scenes and the mutilations awhile back. Maybe I'm clinging to some 15-year-old fear. All I know is I'm still against the death penalty, and I'll be happy and relieved come 6:01 tonight. And it doesn't feel contradictory.

Maybe next year...

So the Avon walk didn't exactly happen :( I didn't raise enough money to walk, and I wasn't in any position to potentially put myself in debt while I tried to raise it, so I bailed and volunteered instead. We drove up Friday with a detour at the inlaws, then I went the rest of the way to Charlotte. Got up at the crack on Saturday and jumped in, organizing paperwork for them, making signs for the cheering stations, loading up trucks with water and gatorade for the rest stops. The crew folks do the heavy lifting and the driving of sweep vans and stuff, though I could've helped pitch tents and stuff, but we were planning to get another look at Columbia on Sunday, so I bailed. I will do more of these, and I'll damn sure be in better shape and not go at them so half-assed in the future. The cause didn't deserve the way I slapped it together this time.

It was a good trip from several angles though; the weather was absolutely incredible, I had some wake-up calls, and we both had an unfortunate big one...Les's grandma is reneging on her promise to help with his teeth. It makes me livid to think about it, and I won't air the family's dirty laundry here...suffice it to say it's got me really motivated to get him into dentures. Cheapies, dental college work, anything. Especially after yesterday...I went to the dentist myself to get a double cavity issue taken care of, one that was near the front and had spent the last 2 years working itself into a nice big black hole. My dentist did an amazing job; there's like, no way to tell that there's fillings there! I feel tons better, self-image wise....just gotta shave 100 pounds off my ass and I'll be a new woman. But seriously folks...that was a wake-up call too, because I know no one likes time in the dentist chair, but it's like, seriously motivating me. My teeth have gotten way sensitive in recent years, and I have a real issue with the iron hook, as I call it. I swear she did more scraping away at the decay yesterday than drilling, and it drove me up about three walls. It is a shivers-down-my-spine, fingernails-on-a-blackboard issue for me; I really can't stand it. I have 1 fresh cavity and 3 old fillings to take care of, and then I don't want to have to be in one of those chairs for anything other than cleanings for a very long time. I went out right after the appointment yesterday and bought fresh floss, a mouth guard (I'm a night grinder), and a nifty gum brush, because they keep talking root planing at me and that's another something I have no desire to investigate further. ::shudders::

Finished the cheater fingerless gloves this past weekend; they're so easy I may have to make several pairs in different colors...I was kicking myself for not having something this morning - it was frickin' 40 degrees out! Washed the soaker and it is SO soft, but didn't shrink much, so will still fit a toddler. Turned the Harlot scarf into a Harlot washcloth (lacking patience lately...tried a leafy lace scarf pattern this weekend too, and didn't get past the 2nd batch of rows), and started a new basic rib scarf with the dark grey Wool Ease T & Q. That one's gonna be soft and warm! Started another hat last night...the dark grey hat didn't come out nearly the way I wanted it to...I'm ticked that it wasn't knitted in the round because I'd really like to pull the whole thing out and start from scratch. I'm focusing on wintery projects for me only right now, with the possible exception of a pair of Pippi Longstockings for my younger sisinlaw, because she expressed interest in something like that when I was showing off my Thujas up there (which incidentally aren't going to last, I can tell, because of the shitty yarn I used...already found a spot that needs darning...live and learn).

Random stuff:

Les and I are going to start walking in the evenings. I caught a side glance of myself in a glass door this weekend that's still haunting me, never mind that my hormones are outta whack again, and that Wellbutrin is a bastard stepchild of antidepressants. Never thought I'd miss Paxil as much as I do, but I'm determined to stay off of it until my unborn, unconceived small person detaches from the boob.

Can anyone tell me what the f*ck happened to our Jaguars this past weekend? I am so glad I was out of the area and couldn't watch that fiasco.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Random website editing funny.....

Had a site this morning with the company name:

Where Happy Endings Begin

I figured it was a massage parlor, but it turned out they were bird breeders.

I have a dirty mind >:)

Monday. Blah.

Overcast, but cool. No rain scheduled. In other words, blah.

But that's kind of how this Monday's starting out. Sucky to start a week with abyssmal self-image and body loathing, but it's there, along with the extra pounds back that I had lost when I went off the lithium. Now I'm back on it and it's there, in my belly. Once you reach a certain weight, you figure you can't feel any worse, but just those few extra pounds bring on new and aggravating symptoms, like lower back pain and exhaustion. When you're used to thinking of yourself, your body, as normal in spite of evidence to the contrary, these shortcomings can be quite frustrating. Yesterday was a domestic day for me: I handwashed our delicates because we're low on $ and made 4 loaves of bread, and was so frickin' exhausted at the end of the day, you'd have thought I'd walked 10 miles!

Ok, self-pity party over.

It was a Grey's Anatomy weekend as well. I got the 2nd season DVD for my birthday, and plowed through most of it this weekend.

Finished the soaker, though I'll definitely modify the pattern before trying it again—that sucker came out HUGE! Since it's all wool, it'd probably shrink up quite a bit in the wash, but I'll believe it when I see it. Also finished the first fingerless mitt and started the 2nd. Started a new wrap with the purple Homespun, but I can already tell that it's going to get frogged and stashed in the bottom of a box for a while—I just don't have the patience for Homespun right now. Did like, 1 row on the cape. ruthee mentioned trying to get a particular project done by New Year's, so that you don't go into '07 with it still a UFO. I think I need to set that as a goal for myself with the SSS and the cape—the SSS because it's an albatross in training, and the cape because if I don't, I won't be wearing it until next winter.

Inherited a ball of lavender-something from our local stash-buster Dana, which I started the Yarn Harlot's scarf with on Sunday as well. What a fun, yet simple pattern!

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Average week


My god, that shot was taken in Marietta, GA (www.webshots.com)! I didn't know the South produced color like that.

Not getting a whole lot accomplished this week. Avon Walk's in a holding pattern. I turned in letters to my CEO and CFO for donations from the company, but that could take a while. I'll be a tad irked if I decide not to walk and it turns out that my company fronts me enough dough where I could have, but somehow I doubt that's going to happen. And besides, I'm going to volunteer when walking falls through, so .....

Been working late and feeling scattered in the evenings...looking forward to the weekend and getting some cleaning done. Never aired the place out, so if the temps stay bearable, that's definitely getting done, because the apartment's starting to feel like an ashtray.

Decided to frog two projects this week. I started Villa, heck, probably a year ago, but it's straight garter stitch and very boring as a result, never mind that I thought about it this week and concluded that I have no business making anything that remotely resembles a poncho, because it'll be the polar opposite of flattering on my body. I found a Lion Brand pattern for a wrap that may be better. I'm in the middle of a real love-hate relationship with Lion Brand Homespun...it's 100% acrylic, which I'm presently loathing everywhere I look, because I'm going through a serious Waldork-natural living phase, never mind that Homespun is a very subtle shedder...you won't see strands around you, just all of a sudden you'll have them in your mouth. Weird. But I pulled out my Triangle Homespun shawl this week to wear at work, and when I put it around my shoulders, all I could think was: OHHHH!! SOFT!! So I'll probably frog Villa tonight at KB; didn't get to it last night. Last night I caught up on Tuesday tapes, watched Eps 3 & 4 of Grey's (got the 2nd season DVD for late b'day from Mom!), and frogged the other sock I had started, and started a cheat's fingerless mitts pattern (really easy, no thumb gusseting or anything).

Mom got her hands on tickets to Garrison Keillor Tuesday, so Les and I went. It was delightful! Really good seats and lots of laughter, and man, can he spin a story! It starts to sound like the old joke about the family coming home from vacation....

What happened while we were gone?
Well, the dog died...
How'd the dog die?
From eating the burnt horsemeat....
Where'd the burnt horsemeat come from?
From when the barn burned down....
How'd the barn burn down?
Well, we think it was the sparks from the house...

And so on...was also delighted to discover that The View from Mrs. Sundberg's Window is back on the Prairie Home website. Mrs. Sundberg is a fictional woman who listens to Prairie Home Companion on Saturdays amid the distractions of her husband and kids. It's fantastic writing, but she stopped for about a year, I'm assuming because her creator was buried in getting his show made into a movie. Read the archives sometime; they take you outside of yourself for a spell, and there's some great recipes to boot. Can't wait to try the Chocolate-Cherry cookies this holiday season!

Monday, October 09, 2006

Update

Let's see.....what's going on in Melanie's world?

I made over $200 at the bake sale, and I'm asking my company today for a donation, as well as getting the word out to the suits upstairs who didn't necessarily catch on about the bake sale. If I actually manage to pull off the minimum, I'll still go. I ain't ready physically, but I'm past caring. There's actually a chance I'll make the minimum, so my mindset's changed.

The weather's turning still, cool in the mornings. It catches you by surprise.

Visited with Christy this past Saturday; it was so good to see her! She's my best friend from grammar school, we met in the 6th grade and have hung onto each other ever since. It's tough to keep close to a friend when you live in different states, but she's been in St. Augustine for the past 2 years, so neither of us have an excuse for the occasional rifts or gaps in communication. Plus she's become a born-again Christian during that time, and I've become a witch, so it makes philosophy an artful, dodging dance where conversation is concerned. She's about to go back to her partner after an almost 3-year separation, and I just pray he treats her right. He's 20 years older than us, and a bit of a clueless, consummate male where sensitivity is concerned. She'll go back to NY this week, visit SA again for a week in November, and then stay in NY at least through tax season. He's a CPA and she manages the office.

Anyway, she recently found a hobby, which turned into a passion: making jewelry. She calls it beading, but it's not—we're talking real stonework here, beautiful pieces that were obviously made with care, and she has an excellent eye for color. She held her second show on Saturday, and it was a really impressive display of necklaces, bracelets, and earrings. I bought a bracelet, and she gave me a necklace that I'm going to have to find a way to pay her for, because she was trying to retail it for $100. The necklace is kyanite, sodalite, moonstone, and blue lapis, and the bracelet is tiger's eye, jade, and tree agate. I'm just getting such good vibes off of them! I'm wearing the necklace and feeling quite pretty :) I can tell she's spooked about expanding it as a business too fast, but I did offer to create a website for her down the road. It's the kind of stuff that the NYC/West Palm Beach crowd would go apeshit over...she made a couple hundred bucks just from the handful of people that stopped by Saturday, so there's definite potential.

I finished those socks and treaded water for a week, not doing much knitting other than a skein on the soaker. Yesterday it dawned on me how great the new necklace would go with the sweater I started a while back, so I pulled it out, worked 3 rows on the sleeve, and then promptly started a hat instead. Damn fickle.

And I got my hairs cut, though barely so's you'd notice. The girl shagged more layers into it, using the razor cutter and that scissors that looks like a comb on one end that actually does a partial cut...it's just right, quite a bit lighter, probably more prone to frizz as a result but I'll learn how to tame it. It's cooperating better, and such a relief.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Accomplishment

I finished my first pair of socks. What a neat feeling! I haven't blocked them yet, not that that'll make much of a difference with the amount of acrylic in the yarn, and they pretty much look like a before-and-after set, because I followed the pattern much more closely on the 2nd one and actually performed proper grafting on the toe, but they're delightfully imperfect and entirely handmade. Very cool!

Broke my first string on my guitar. Wah!

Bake sale tomorrow...I'm making snickerdoodles and pumpkin bread tonight.

I need to do some reckoning this weekend. I haven't lost any weight and I need to. There's things I need to be planning, and now that we have a decent computer, I can put stuff in order in there and hopefully it won't crash around my head so willy-nilly. I'm still too damn tired around the edges, which only aggravates the restlessness in my head. If I want things to be different so badly, it's time to be initiating the necessary changes to facilitate that. God, who talks like that?

Foodie Farm Girl is taking a break from blogging, because she lives in BF Missouri and it's taking her 2 hours a day to upload simple photos on her dial-up connection. Boy, do I feel her pain. We need to investigate if it'd cost us anything to upgrade to something faster while we're on the 6-months free AOL, because I am so over dial-up. Anyway, think I'll start reading her sites from the beginning in the interim; she's got some great recipes and ideas in there.

There's a Colonial Folk Arts & Crafts Festival in St. Augie this weekend...sounds neat, but haven't decided if I'm going. May depend on gas, but at the same time, I'd like to drag husby out for it; we haven't done anything like that in a while and it'd be nice to just wander the streets checking out exhibits, window shopping, and holding hands.

I ache to get my hair cut, but I don't want to cut my hair. There's a comfort factor attached to hair as it grows longer, but at the same time, I know I'm in a mindset of needing a bunch less of the stuff for now. I'm in a hat-wearing and hat-knitting mood, and long hair and hats just don't cooperate. I'm fickle as hell about it, but the idea's been bouncing around in my head long enough to indicate it's not quite just a phase, so we'll see...probably can't spare the dough for another 2 weeks anyway, not that that's ever stopped me.

Ever tried Eggos with peanut butter? It's my breakfast staple; I highly recommend it.

Monday, October 02, 2006

October


I love October. Always have. I'm a Yankee transplant, so October for me means leaves turning and falling, the woods taking on this fantastic smell, jumping in said leaves when raked into piles, a cool snap in the air, pumpkins, apples, and other harvesty stuff. We won't get the cool snap in the air down here for a while yet, and the leaves don't change until December/January in Florida, but October sticks in my head in a northern way and buoys my spirits. I wanna make pumpkin bread and apple pies. I can't wait for Halloween.

Had a really good Sunday! Sat on my ass, caught up on stuff I'd taped last week, knitted, and sewed. I have these 2 LONG peasant skirts that I wanted to shorten, so I took off the bottom flounce on both, so now the bottom is this band of lace that makes them look prettier somehow, more feminine. Then I hand-stitched a fairly messy hem on the black flounce to make a long decorative scarf of sorts. Haven't decided what I want to do with the red flounce. Also started the heel on the 2nd Thuja; I'm going to concentrate on that one until it's done - it'll be nice to have an actual pair of socks that I knitted myself, never mind the satisfaction of actually finishing something for once. Of course, I say that, and I'll probably pick up the soaker or the other sock tonight...I'm a fairly scatty broad.

Avon Walk still up in the air. Unless I can get my company to donate like, a grand, I don't see being able to walk. Haven't given up yet; will send out fresh emails this week and draft the beg letter for my company, and the bake sale is this Friday...but also life is so painfully tight right now, that it's hard to justify the expense of going. I still need to purchase a sleeping mat, big Ziploc bags, and some other stuff, and in the meantime, the house phone is going to go dead because we can't pay the bill. So I'm letting up on myself and getting a little realistic. We'll see.....