Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Humping along

Wait, that doesn't sound right...

It's Wednesday, which may or may not mean light at the end of the tunnel...hard to look forward to the weekend when you know there may be extra work in it for you. We can always use the OT, but working Saturday just throws me off somehow. And the blasted queue's over 100 again, so it's a definite possibility. There's really no point in me looking for a 2nd job; it would shred me, and it's better I keep myself available when needed for job #1. Nothing like butt kissing for crap wages...

Pollen count has me ornery (well, it's either that or I cracked another tooth, so we're trying to think positive here), and my knitting's getting neglected in favor of chipping away ever so slightly at the apartment. Last night I sorted 2 big boxes that had acted as catch-alls for the last couple of months. With that kind of task, you just end up making more piles, but at least I know what's what now and can toss most of it in our filing cabinet.

Oh wait, I did knit last night. I tried to start the egg cozy, but goofed up on the Vneck...going to try working one side at a time once I get to that spot tonight, because continuing to work across definitely wasn't working. Will work that tonight, and probably add another row to the SSS...

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Meandering Tuesday

Preparing for the move may have been an exercise in denial, but one thing's for sure, it'll get us a little more organized. I spent last night neglecting my knitting :( in favor of shredding an entire box of bank documents that pre-dated Les. We can barely move in our foyer again, because it's piled with stuff to get thrown out. I think that's how the week is going to go, a box at a time.

Definitely not missing the couch...can actually move in our living room again. Though if it's possible for the cats to be more underfoot now, they are. And Jordan's seems dangerously underweight now; the second that stock check clears, we're taking him to the vet.

Also, definitely still a couple of rows left before I'm done with the blue yarn on the know how it is when you knit a row, check, and go, darn, not done yet. Still, gave me something to do while I waited at the podiatrist. Also, I am in love with the North Star Tam & Scarf that they are showcasing in the Spring KnitPicks...may have to indulge in the Arctic Lace book; looks like a bunch of stole/scarf patterns there, which would challenge my skills without challenging my patience.

Podiatrist visit was a little more illuminating. It's a condition, not an injury; there is arthritis away from my toes, closer to the ankle; it is bone pain more than it's soft tissue pain; and there's tendon weakness near the arch causing the bones to dip when they should be aligned straight. That dip is also what causes the instep/ball pain; the foot plain ain't landing the way it should. Yay. So we try the custom orthotic; if that doesn't work, we try a brace; if that doesn't work, we talk surgery. I hate having to exhaust $400+ on the chance it might not be enough, but I ain't complaining...didn't expect there to be only 2 steps before suggesting surgery. ::gulp:: It's a busy office, but he took the time to answer my questions and cautioned me on leaning too heavily on NSAIDs like Aleve, because they're liable to increase my lithium level (which normally I wouldn't mind but since I already take the max, it's worth keeping track of).

Monday, March 26, 2007

Purging the past

Les made a crack yesterday that it's a good thing we're not moving next month, because we both need to get in shape for it first...

The way my back felt this morning tells me he's right.

On the up side, both the couch and the CD rack have been thrown out, we moved the dining room table to where the couch used to be, the VCR bookcase (a POS that's getting thrown eventually too) to the dining room along with both litter boxes, and we'll move the computer back to the dining room table. That'll leave me free to toss the old corkboard that we've been using as a makeshift desk, and unpack/repack the boxes that supported it.

When I say we threw out the couch, I ain't kidding. After some thought, we decided not to take it down the front stairs; instead, we took it out the porch door and pitched it right over the side (we're on the 2nd floor), and then carried it to the dumpster. It didn't have quite the catharsis that throwing out the papasan did, but I'm still glad it's gone.

There's a lot of boxes still to be dealt with, but the place already feels a shade roomier in the main living area, which is nice. I have ideas for curtains and putting up some more pictures, and we're thinking of splurging on a small entertainment center for the TV, VHSs/DVDs, & VCR/DVD player when the stock money comes in.

The bedroom unfortunately is another story, but that's because I don't want to deal with those boxes until I have my closet back; which I'll be inquiring about when I go to talk to the property manager today about our renewal.

I started a new hat this weekend, and working on the SSS a bit; it's almost done, I think. I'm going to stop after this skein, add the second color, and do that cast-off that everyone hates. Also gotta hit Joann's soon if I want to do the egg cozy thing for my dad.

Friday, March 23, 2007

New Projects

Home: just clean. Whether it means unpacking boxes or repacking boxes. Actually I need to make myself a list, in detail, so that I don't come out of the weekend depressed that I didn't finish 2 months' work in 2 days' time.

Yarn: Serious new project mode. Partly my own fault; I picked a sock pattern that was too easy. I have about 5 inches of stockinette in the round to look forward to on mr. sock's mate, and that's just a snore. The FnF scarf ain't ringing my bells lately either. The SSS is, but my mind wanders easily lately, which ain't exactly productive when you're talking 500+ stitches to a round.

Had to rip out the Broadripple, dropped a stitch somewhere, and besides I really need the right numbers of needles for that pattern, I think. Socks aren't doing it for me at present either. What is? I finished 2 hats that I won't wear for 6 months now. Thinking of starting another one, and maybe doing some washcloths just to try out different patterns. Definitely thinking small for now......literally. Weekend Knitting by Melanie Falick has a pattern for something called Egg Cozies; they're tiny sweaters for putting on egg-in-a-cup. I immediately thought of my dad. I don't think he eats them nearly as much anymore, but he was an egg-in-a-cup guy when I knew him, and he used to wear V-neck pullover sweaters. So I want to make him one for Easter :)

So I got the total (probably) amount of my stock exercise today, and the first thing I did was to let myself dream a bit about getting all our regular bills up to date. Then I thought, damn, think of the yarn I could buy with that!

I think a 12-step group may be in order.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

I miss my knitting...and laundry night

Laundry was such a grueling process last night, I missed my knitting. Meaning I pined for it. Looked at it longingly. I couldn't decide what to work on, and every time I did, it was time to rotate something, it seemed, so I never actually picked up the needles. Now I'm stuck in my cube dreaming of my Opal sock yarn, and of casting on Cozy now that we're sticking around...

Laundry night in the Johnson household involves 1) sorting the pile to determine what you can't live without, 2) hefting it downstairs to the car, 3) driving to 1 of the 2 laundry facilities on my complex's campus 4) dragging the laundry out of the car and into the facility only to find that a) all the machines are taken, meaning you have to wait and the timing of your entire evening is thrown off, or b) the ones that aren't taken are out of order, and if you're lucky enough to get machines, 5) taking the chance of leaving your laundry there and going back to the apartment while it washes or dries, because you have a life and it doesn't involve reading or knitting in the outer area of a depressing room at night in a semi-safe neighborhood. I'd rather get my clothes stolen than get mugged or raped. Our neighborhood's a nice enough crowd of Hispanics, Filipinos, and Hindus, and we rarely have any serious crime issues, but this is Jacksonville, so I'm never not cautious. Half the digital readouts on the machines no longer work, so you can't tell if a machine is good until you put your pay card in. And then there's the delightful chance that you'll get a machine that appears to work, start your load, and come back to a dirty bin of clothes and water because it unbalanced itself. It's extraordinary what a person will allow themselves to get used to.

So I went down last night to start the lights and put the darks in the dryer, only to discover that scenario, which meant wringing everything in that load out by hand (including a pair of jeans—HEAVY!) and tossing it into the dryer only a third washed, because every single other machine in that room was being used and it wasn't worth it to wait for a different machine to rewash everything, as I was already running late, it was a school night, and I was fading fast, because I was a little drunkie and enjoyed a bottle of merlot last night. In my frustration, I put one of my light loads into a machine that had a bunch of residue around the bin that I failed to notice, thus creating grey streaks on my hand towels and probably several other items that I haven't noticed yet.

And the cruel irony is that we HAVE washer/dryer connections in our apartment! Have had 'em for months, but with our credit/cash problems, it's been a non-issue. Well, now that we're staying, very likely for another entire year ::cringe, scream, sigh, move on::, we've got our thinking caps on for ways to afford to buy/rent a stackable W/D system. Anybody got one they want to let go cheap?

Looking forward to the weekend...with stuff in and out of boxes, we've got some major reorganizing to do. I had an idea months ago about stacking stuff in boxes and painting the outside of the boxes so that it took on the look of makeshift decor. I'd also like to home-up the place a bit; we've never hung curtains and our picture scheme is pretty haphazard. If we're sticking around, we're getting them to fix all the stuff in that place that we've been complacent over because we thought we were leaving, and I'm going to hang curtains, pull out some of our movie posters for wall decor, cover those pillows and cushions for the bed.....I have so many neat ideas! When you let your home get as bad as we have, it sucks the life right out of you to live there. It doesn't help that we keep it pretty closed up lighting-wise, because Les's headaches and the medication he takes for said headaches makes him photosensitive. But with effort, we can make that place nice, not so gloomy. We have to. I really think we're going to be there more than just another year. It's not what I want, of course, but if our credit issues stem from what I think they do, we have a significant amount of work ahead to fix it, so I'm adopting a realistic viewpoint about our sitch.

They're opening a Starbucks next to the Applebee's on the Philips Highway end of St. Augustine Road! Dangerously close to my work, but I'm thinking of applying for part-time there, so it might not destroy our bank account...

Tearing into the stash tonight and working on socks...

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

The 5 stages of grief

So it looks like we're sticking around Florida a while longer.....

Denial—in my case, shock coupled with "what do you mean it can't happen? I've been planning everything so well..."

Anger—what's angrier than livid? I wanted to let out a good stress scream on the way home in the car, but my disbelief kept it in. The very idea of spending one more summer in this tropical hellhole, never mind the prospect of more time without a washer/dryer makes me a white-hot angry that renders me speechless (well, in actual speech anyway...apparently it hasn't affected my fingers...)

Bargaining—emailed the other property management company I had my eye on, the one that rents what are probably 900-square-foot houses with no W/D connections in lousy sections of town, to see if there's any chance of bypassing our credit issues with them. As I'm writing it, I know it'd be wiser to stay put, but I have to try...

Depression—the only thing keeping that at bay, besides my usual regimen of happy pills, is the fact that we still have money coming to us from the stock options, so we can get the bills up to date, I can get my custom orthotics, maybe actually start a savings account...

Acceptance—we're already there. We don't want to be, and there's still going to be plenty of changes to be made in that apartment and our lives in order for us to get out from under, but the sad truth is that any move we'd try for at this time would be very hard, and could do even more damage to our credit, if that's possible.

God, I'm sad and angry though. The only things I like about Jacksonville are my bitches and my potential proximity to Hunter. Well, maybe add Cyril to that too, since he's been so happy and healthy of late, and Mom and Dad 'cause they're like, getting old and stuff. And the Jags when they have a good season. But Florida has worn on my senses since we moved down in 1986. Crap, it has been 20 years...back then I had no choice, since I was still in high school (and was so eager to get out of NC, I'd have moved to frickin' Zimbabwe), and my paltry academic successes made it easy to take the lazy road and go to a state college. When I worked for AMC, bouncing around the state, I was always trying to prove myself so they'd give me a spot at one of the Atlanta theaters. Instead they sent me to Fort Myers, where I met Les. Everything happens for a reason.

So Les and I did a little shopping last night, treated ourselves to a nice meal, and I plowed through the K1P1 rib cuff on mr. sock's, that's a snore! I really wanted to play with both socks, but I wanted to get that ribbing done so that it's not as easy to set it aside. I'm going to pay attention to the SSS (soul-sucking shawl) and my FnF (feather and fan) scarf this week, because they're taking on the personalities of UFOs that won't die and I'd really like to get them finished, so I can try my hand at some new stuff. More cables, that double-knit bag, and on the sewing end, new covers for the old couch pillows and cushions.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Quick update

1. Foot's feeling better. Aleve and cloth tape are my friends. Plus, tax return came in, so I'm buying new cheap orthotics to hold me til after the move.

2. I finished that light blue beanie and it's darn cute! I didn't think it'd look good on my mid-length mop, but it's not bad. I'm definitely on a hat jones of late; they provide fast gratification, which is nice; I've been feeling a shade intimidated by those SC bloggers. It's definitely time to expand the repertoire, try out cables on an actual project or something. Also want to try the Entrelac scarf that Allison at Freckles & Purls designed, once I can get my hands on some Silk the meantime, I also started Broadripple with the Opal sock yarn I got from Carrie at the KB stash-busting party...excellent colors! Kind of a peach with periwinkle, navy, and white...

3. Had a funny, random purse moment this weekend...I'm usually pretty fickle about my purses, but it's just amusing...switched to my Vera Bradley on Saturday, switched to my Aigner on Sunday, and switched back to the grey tote I've been using on Sunday night. I swear sometimes it is a wonder that I put my pants on one leg at a time.....

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Blogs rock!

How in the world did we move from Fort Myers to Jacksonville without the Internet? All we knew was that I had a job up here and my folks were up friends, no people with common interests, no church...I was still a Republican, for god's sake!

This move, I'm researching the hell out of that city and it's helping my anxiety level. I'm getting past the excitement of the move and delving into, crap, which melanie do I want to introduce people to when I get up there? I could reinvent myself, but I know it wouldn't stick; I've gotta be happy with the me that I am. Still...that's probably why I had those hair color issues a week or three ago. I get these random, irrational thoughts. Whaddaya mean I can't lose 75 pounds in 6 weeks, get 2 more tattoos, buy more nice yarn (and a nittynoddy and a spindle and some addy turbos and ...)...mostly material bullshit, I know. So one thing that's really helping is reading the blogs of some of the folks I could likely meet up there. There's a really decent-sized SnB group, and a brand new LYS. Folks my age who dig the fiber. Sweet! I'll also check out the UU and the CUUPs group when I get up there, but as I'm a solitary, I think I'll be leaning on the knitters more initially.

Luckily, Les could have a built-in social circle as well when he gets up there. His lil'er sis lives in town and works with a small theatre group. Les was big into drama in high school; his college scholarship was music. It'd be a great way to get him out of his shell.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Drink water, drive on, private

That saying comes from Army basic training. Apparently if anyone had the gall to complain about injury or difficulty during PT, that was the response from the sergeants. Makes sense, I suppose; I mean, basic training is all about breaking down limitations and pushing your body far beyond anything you thought you were capable of....and it's frickin' voluntary. Cyril has a funny story of waiting in line in basic to receive permission for limited PT because of knee issues. The female private in front of him had an arm in a sling, a brace on one leg, a bandage on her head, and female problems on top of it and was requesting the same. The staff sergeant looks her up and down and says, "well, sounds like you need to drink water, private."

The only decent line in the movie "Johnny Be Good:"
Johnny: "Coach, I broke my dick."
Coach: "Well, throw some dirt on it and get back in the game."

It's time for me to drink water. I lost focus this week. A decent reason, but still, time to grab the bootstraps because we can't afford to lose focus like that again so close to end of April. Besides, there's an excellent chance that I'm between a rock and a hard place where my feet are concerned, so why dwell? I hope to get a decent amount from exercising my stock options, but we're probably going to need every spare cent just to get us moved on time, so buying custom orthotics is probably going to have to wait just a bit. That's ok, because I know how to deal with my feet in the meantime, and I know/finally get how important it is to break down and buy the good stuff, so it's not like I'll let it go indefinitely, especially if by some miracle I get the park ranger gig. Then I'm really going to need reliable feet. So enough feeling sorry for myself. This took the wind out of my sails, that's for sure. My god, we take feet for granted! Felt it this morning when I was walking from my car to my building in the pouring rain. Felt it when I was walking to my car in the grocery store parking lot after dark earlier in the week...even though I'm heavy, I'm always alert and ready to run. To not have the run option necessarily open to me is a new level of scary, and I don't like it.

I'm a runner, inside my head. Even when I was regular weight, I wasn't much of an actual runner, but inside my head, I'm built differently. When I really need to escape, I take myself to my old high school cross-country course at Wamogo in CT. That school was set on a hill surrounded by woods. It had 2 soccer fields up by the school and 1 lower soccer field. My body moves with a fluidity I don't possess in real life when I run around those fields. There's a rhythm and beauty to my movement. It's crisp and fall, and the leaves are golden. You can see the cows through the trees in a neighboring field. 20 years ago. Probably totally different. Glad I still have it in my head.

The point though, is that that doesn't have to be only a dream. If I wanted to actually become a runner, the only thing stopping me would be my brain. Because the issues with my body can be dealt with. I can get the right orthotics and shoes, I can eat better to lose weight, and I can exercise in so many different ways to strengthen my body.

Drink water, private...

Showed off my hat last night, worked a bit on the beanie and one row of the SSS. Have to work tomorrow, which sucks, and then we'll tuck into the apartment again. Going to resist the urge to start Cozy, I think, until after the move...I have just the right amount of UFOs at present to get me through without boredom or frustration. I think I'm feeling better.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Feet continued...

Yes, yes, I know, not the most exciting subject, but just humor the blogger for a mo', if you please...

Ever try concentrating on the act of walking? It's an act that we bipeds take for granted, up there with breathing or moving your arm without creating the conscious thought to do so. Our brains are too fast for that. So slowing down enough to recognize how your gait proceeds, how your feet fall, heel to toe, in the regular act of walking, is almost confusing. Now granted, I'm one of those elephant-in-a-china-shop people. When I try to be quiet in the kitchen because Les is napping on the couch, I'm liable to drop a dish and light a small fire in my attempts to keep the noise down. Which brings up a whole other train of thought about how maybe I'm not a klutz due to heredity and dipshittedness, but because of a true physical deformity, but I don't want to go down that road right now...I'm too focused on my walk. My left foot, in spite of its flatfooted nature, knows how to do its job. I step, heel to toe, with apparent even movement along the midsection of my foot. The right foot, however, is a confused mess; one step I'm walking on the outer edge, then I'm overcompensating by walking squarely on my lack of arch. Wait, that's how I should be walking, that's not overcompensating, but the truth is that I can't walk that way all the time, because it has created the misalignment of my toes and subsequent pain above the metatarsels and below at the ball. I shorten my steps, the walk of my right foot is a combination of those two, and I'm winded from the concentrating by the time I get back to my desk.

Walking is so taken for granted, that until you're faced with difficulty in ambulating, you plain don't think about it. Now I can't stop thinking about it, because every step brings pain. I so wish I had a bicycle, so that I could exercise without worrying about how it's going to affect my foot. Also because I dream of exploring West Columbia and Columbia on two wheels. In the meantime, careful stepping around the damn cats, taping the arch, and finding the dough for the orthotics. And knitting for sanity.

Murphy molests collies

I try not to be a big believer in Murphy's law. There's nothing to be gained from that "the world is out to get me" train of thought. Still, I wouldn't have minded at all if these foot problems had manifested themselves, oh, 3 months ago, instead of 6 weeks before we move. Bygones.

It's not arthritis. It's not a fracture, strain, or sprain. It's the flatness of my foot creating misalignment and pressure. It didn't even dawn on me until after I was done talking turkey with the guy that it wasn't arthritis, that we hadn't discussed arthritis at all because this issue wasn't about cartilege and cushioning breakdown. However, knowing isn't exactly half the battle when the solution probably lies in a pair of custom $400+ orthotics, that I'm pretty sure insurance won't pay for, and we're meanwhile waiting on tenterhooks for the tax return and stock options to come through so we can actually move on time.

I swear, sometimes I want to become a doctor just so I'll better understand what's going on when I have to visit one. The doc made the comment that there's surgery in my future with that foot, and I said something like, "what, besides my bunion?" and he says back how the bunions are the least of my problems. That would seem disconcerting except this was a nice, normal guy (my first 2 podiatrists that I visited years back weren't: one had sucky chairside manner, and the other was a starer, gave me the creeps), and I'd already mentioned that we were moving, so it wasn't like he was trying to drum up business for himself down the road. Geez, I am cynical, huh? I prefer cautious and knowledgeable, thank you very much.

United defines durable medical equipment, in part, as equipment to assist mobility. I think orthotics should be covered under DME, and I may try to appeal if it's denied as such. In the meantime, my foot's taped, and I go back in 10 days. Still hurts to walk, but I think that med the ARNP gave me yesterday helped a lot; I'm just going to take it at night though, because it knocked me on my ass yesterday afternoon. Haven't had sleepiness like that on the job since my days on Respirdal. No fun.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Damn & blast

It is probably arthritis.

I'm jumping to conclusions yet again, though. Went to regular doc today, had x-rays done, ARNP couldn't see anything, but technically haven't had a doc or a radiologist look yet. Got an appointment with a podiatrist for tomorrow and some anti-inflammatory samples for the interim. She wrote me a Rx for Celebrex initially, but since that's one of Les's meds, I already knew it was in the $50 range, so I was like, hey, whatcha got in Plan B? In the meantime, still limping and trying to keep the cynicism and grumpiness to a minimum, but I really can't imagine getting out of there tomorrow without the podiatrist saying how all my problems would magically resolve themselves if I'd just lose 100 pounds and invest the $300-some-odd in a pair of custom orthotics. Not too cynical, huh?

Then again, I didn't expect anything to come of this morning's appointment, thought I'd shell out my co-pay so that I could tell the ARNP what I thought it was, and she'd in turn recommend that I see a podiatrist. But she checked out my foot and made a decent diagnostic assessment, and had me get x-rays right there, so even though it's still probably one of the two things I thought it was to begin with (arthritis or stress fracture), I don't feel like I wasted my money by going there this morning. And surprisingly, the podiatrist was able to take me first thing tomorrow—that's sweet, considering I feel like we're starting to live on borrowed time where medical insurance is concerned. This whole sitch is one big billboard from the gods, as far as I'm concerned; they're reminding me not to drag my feet, well, foot, looking for a medical insurance deal up in SC, not to take for granted that one or both of us will have real jobs up there before we move. I have some phone calls to make.

I think I'll work the Soul-Sucking-Super-Spiral Shawl's actually a lot more soothing than its name :)

Tuesday, March 13, 2007


Quick update...Personal Junk & Random Nonsense:

1. Stock paperwork FINALLY made it into the mail. Prosperity spell planned this weekend.

2. Still hurts like a bitch to walk. This ain't arthritis; I'm hoping it's not a stress fracture. Drs. appt. tomorrow. I hope Les's head is decent tonight, because I absolutely have to do laundry tonight (well, it's either that or skip vital parts of wardrobe tomorrow, like bra, pants............) and it ain't happening without his help.

3. Finished the hat and it looks EXCELLENT! I dabbled in more than 1 color with pretty results; the burnt orange of the Peace Fleece goes so great with the Olive/Brown Cascade. Definitely bringing it to KB this week to show off :) I've gotta get a digi cam after we move, so I can post stuff on this blog for my loyal fanbase. I'd definitely like to show off that hat to friends and fam.

4. Started a fresh hat right after I finished that one, because gods forbid I should work on mr. sock's mate or the SSS. Lion Brand just put out a new pattern for a lace beanie, and even though I doubt it'll exactly look good on me, I want to try it anyway. Using the pretty light blue Encore I acquired from Dana at the Stash busting party.

5. Thank goodness I have Website Pros, because I really want to be able to work from home during our kids' early years, and I'll never, ever recommend to anyone that they try those work-from-home deals where you sell travel packages or Herbalife or chotchis by computer. The sheer number of websites that we do for those kinds of businesses on a weekly, hell daily basis is frickin' unreal. To say that the market is saturated is a hilarious understatement.

6. Got my first rejection from the Lexington Medical Center, but I'm staying the course. That facility is far too close to our new apartment complex for us not to try to take advantage of its opportunities. This could really help Les confirm whether or not he's interested in nursing as a career. Can't wait to move so we can investigate the place from a more hands-on perspective; this long-distance stuff sucks.

7. That's it. Gotta go!

Monday, March 12, 2007

7 weeks

Oh good, I thought it was 6......and surprisingly, I'm getting enough done on the weekends, where I don't go into the next week feeling like my head's going to spin off its axis and fly around the room.....

Given how our apartment is laid out, it's smart that I've started so early. Still, I look around and feel like barely anything's gotten done. I think I'll spend this week making stacks of boxes against walls, and digging into smaller areas like under end tables and in my stash corner. And yes, Les is helping. But I'm definitely cursed with the take-charge attitude, and poor bastard, I'm liable to go into a tailspin if he questions something I'm doing.

Random thought: arthritis sucks. I bought these adorable flats a week or three back, and even with the orthotics in, they're giving me pain all the way up my foot. Dammit! Just once I'd like to find shoes that allow me to be a) pain free and b) not look like a dike. And, notice, not or. Don't think that's much to ask.

One cat's practically on a hunger strike, the other's getting round. Can't wait to see how the move throws them.

I'm grumpy now. More later.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Fickle Female strikes again!

My hair is now red. A rather pretty red with shades of both dark and light. I'm finally recognizing that as a brunette, the only way to get even coloring in lighter shades is to pay the blasted dough to go to a salon, which I pretty much refuse to do out of necessity as well as principle. But this time's not bad at all—my best buddie in life enjoys applying the color and combing it through so that it gets applied evenly, so maybe I'll try keeping it around this color until fall.

I was all set to dye it a soft black. Stripped it Monday night to clear out my mistakes of the previous week, and lemme tellya, hair don't like stripping. They warn you that your hair will lose some of its natural pigment in the process, and that the follicles will experience breakage. The result was a fluffy mess of bright red on top and reddish brown in the back that did not appreciate a brush or comb yesterday. I don't want to get it trimmed at all, but I fear I'll be seeing all the split ends I've created in a couple of weeks. In the meantime, I'm conditioning the heck out of it.

As for the color, Les expressed his pleasure at seeing all the red in my hair, and it was our anniversary, and I caved like the squishy, codependent sheep that I am. But I have to admit I'm feeling prettier and not so dark. Plus I did trim it in those 2 spots (did I mention that already?), which I'm not going to let on to him about because he hasn't seemed to notice, and that's definitely made my hair more manageable. I didn't even remember to bring a scrunchy in my purse today, and so far, so good.

As for knitting, I've started mr. sock's mate, I've been working the SSS a row at a time, and have admitted to myself that I can't start the Pirate Queen's Booty Bag (or in my case, the Triskele bag) right now. I need fresh wool, there's nothing appropriate in my stash, and with our current big, looming payments to get out of the way pre-move, yarn definitely ain't a priority at this time. So I've started a hat instead with the Cascade and will transfer to the Peace Fleece after the ribbing; and for UFOs, there's still that scarf too. If I need a new project fix, I'll start the Cozy wrap in my Merino Style Nutmeg. But the coming weeks are going to be all about the move.

Monday, March 05, 2007

The trials of being a hormone hostage

Being this fickle is exhausting. Expensive too.

Indulged in a bottle of White Merlot this weekend. Was sitting still, patiently frogging my 2nd attempt at double knitting, and could actually feel my moods go up and down while I was quiet and keeping to myself. Knew that I needed to stay away from Husby for a while, because I'd either be horny or bitchy depending on which way the wind was blowing. This ticks me off, because I enjoy the flavor and release of a beer or a glass of wine now and then, and I keep having to remind myself that this is an indulgence I really can't afford emotionally at present.

Then there's the hair. I colored it last week in Chocolate Cherry by Feria, a dark burgundy brown, and was promptly bored by it......not burgundy enough, not something. So I bought some Manic Panic in After Midnight Blue and tried it last night, but all that did was dull it down further, and my hair's so dark, you can't really see the fact it's gone a little greenish instead in spots, probably because I tried highlighting too soon after the full color. So now I'm saying f*ck it and want to dye it black. I'm in a pretty dark mood of late, and it'll be pretty against my eyes. I emailed Clairol to see if I should strip it first and then color; if I don't hear back from them, I'll hit Sally's after work.

I did trim 2 areas where my layers hit my face, so they'd angle better, higher kind of, and that I'm immensely happy with. Les doesn't get it, he didn't want me cutting it at all—LOVES my hair long, but it plain doesn't look good the way it was, weighed down my face terribly. Well, the weight does that, so I guess the hair was accentuating it, rather. I'm still growing it out, but in the interim, it needs to look presentable and keep me sane, right? Tall order, I realize :) Anyway, I'm sure the sides aren't even by any stretch, but it's definitely had its desired effect because I've been tucking it behind my ears all morning without needing to put it up with barrettes or a scrunchy at all. THAT I really like...I'm always going to be a scrunchy gal, but when you're in your ::sigh:: late 30s and ponytailing it daily out of frustration, it doesn't do a whole lot for your self image and esteem.

In spite of the fact that we're desperately low on cash and need some for several key bills, I think this'll be a good week. Tomorrow's our 8th anniversary; I'm taking the day off and we'll spend it enjoying each other, and then he's making chicken parmesan for dinner. I started packing this weekend, just a few boxes of books, but it really helped me feel a little more organized, even if the apartment doesn't exactly reflect that. I'm faxing our new apartment apps today, so cross your fingers for us!

Friday, March 02, 2007


Blissful, non-working weekend.

Well, non-working as in not actually going into the office work. Naturally, I've got plenty of other plans for this weekend, related to packing and organizing mostly. But I'm going to try and squeeze in some rest time too. I want to finish mr. sock, start his mate, and start the double knit bag too (and if I find myself bored or frustrated, there's still the FnF scarf and the SSS). Those projects are on my mind today...I didn't bring mr. sock to work because I've started the decrease and don't want to f*ck it up, but it's raining steadily today and the only place I can think of being, thanks to the Yarn Harlot's blog entry today, is curled up in my wing chair with my knitting and, since I'm a southerner, a big glass of sweet tea.