Thursday, January 29, 2009


Hormones on the upswing (thank you Clomid!) and my mood's better than it's been in days. Like the flower? I finally put pictures on my Facebook profile, and downloaded everything in the camera in the process...this beauty was from my inlaws front yard.

Been sweater knitting (Beach) more this week, because I'm in the home stretch on one know how you spend more time on something when you're getting to the end of a skein? Well, I do anyway :) Luckily I have dpns in that size (I think), so I can start the sleeves simultaneously if I want, when I add the next color.

Hanging with the Cast Offs tonight! Small band of knitters of the pagan persuasion :) Happy Thursday, y'all!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Fibery goodness

Imagine a city park on the water, bordered by live oaks, sidewalk encircling it, with people meandering about their Sundays walking their dogs, biking...wait, there's a big group of people under the trees on the right...what the heck are they all doing with their hands?!

What a neat feeling it was knitting in public on Sunday! Thanks to Kimber, Corrina, and whomever else contributed to that neatness. There were door prizes, raffle prizes, everything was donated, and 100% of the proceeds went to the local women's shelter, Hubbard House. At least 50 people, women and men, turned out for what was a pleasant day ... we headed for the hills when the sprinkles started, but it was plenty of time for me to relax a bit in the company of (mostly) women. I mainly worked the snood while I was there until my yarn ran out and I didn't have a fresh skein on me...then switched briefly to the sweater. (so there, miss ruthee! I CAN combat project ADD! bwuahahah!) I used to get laughed at because I'd come to an evening mingle with the knitting gals with at least 4 like 2 rows of something and switch...I think I'm getting a little better...of course, it's because I'm itching to start more socks and fingerless gloves, but don't have the yarn or needles for the projects, so I'm trying to finish projects to justify new purchases...the knitter's vicious circle :)

Got to meet Sugarbee Chris on Sunday, sat right next to her and watched her spin, and the beginnings of a new interest were seeded in me. I'm starting at the bottom like a good girl, bought a drop spindle kit online to get myself started, and I'm looking at online ways to build a lazy kate from household items. It'll probably be a year before I'll consider myself worthy of an actual spinning wheel, which is good, considering the the meantime, Husby's been wanting to buy me a swift and ball winder, so I'll drop more hints about that for when his research money comes in >:)

I'm back to knitting in the evenings while I unwind, and man it feels good! It's rather hilarious how certain muscles get used during when you drop off the hobby and then pick it back up, you find yourself sore in weird places. Centering me nicely though, which is cool, because I've been kind of hormonely unhinged the last couple of days :P

Friday, January 23, 2009


Payday friday at that...

Made some "to do" lists yesterday, hoping to get started on those tomorrow...maybe even could happen. They want OT at work this weekend, but I don't see it happening in Melanie's world...Sunday the Jax Ravelers are knitting in public, and I want to stop by for that, so there goes a chunk of that afternoon.

I'm down to the thumb on the 2nd mitten, that should get finished this weekend. So I'm betting we've seen our last hard freeze this season in Florida...that's me being sarcastic because I'll have finally finished the mittens. Snood and sweater got attention this week, but I've been a little scattered too.

Thinking of sticking to herbs for my initial spring 9-month-old parsley surprised me by living! Imagine what I could've done if I hadn't neglected the crap out of it...I only noticed it because we've had a couple of hard freezes, so I went out to the porch to bring in the little plants and cover the aloe and discovered the parsley. Motivation strikes again.

Another reason for holding off on planting veggies...been thinking of pulling our credit reports and seeing about moving sooner than later, here in Jax...current lease is up end of May. A tall order to be sure, but possible...yes, yes, I know I could still plant veggies, but I'm recognizing my limitations here...

Lots to do this weekend...I'll try to take it easy on myself when it doesn't all get accomplished :)

Wednesday, January 21, 2009


Crazy cold! Drag out the handknits cold! Woohoo!
Mel's in heaven :)
Pulled out my big, floppy hat and my LONG purple scarf for today's excursion into work. Still saw people who didn't even have jackets on. At least the flip-flops took a holiday for the most part. But I don't get 25 degrees, the only thing keeping your snot from freezing is the little insulating walls of your nose, right? What idiot doesn't wear a jacket in this weather? Well, one of my team leaders apparently...lost a little respect for him, I gotta tellya...I mean, there's a line between manly and plain stupid. Can't blame it on being a Floridian...he lived in Atlanta before this gig. Then again, I saw hypothermia cases in 50F weather with rain (the quite-memorable Avon walk back in '02), so I guess I'm just smarter than the average bear about it...

Now, who wants to go to my meeting for me? I'm in a pissy work mood today...the festivities of yesterday have me motivated for other things. Looking into volunteerism...Starbucks is giving away free coffee this week if you pledge 5 hours :) ... check it out at

Tuesday, January 20, 2009


So, anybody NOT watching a bit of TV today?

I watched the speech from outside a conference room at work, outside because the room itself was filled. People in the office clapped at key points. I had been listening at my desk, but the MSNBC feed got too choppy...CNN wasn't even letting people on, there was a wait period. I listened and wondered why it took me so long to address my true beliefs. Just 8 years ago, I was still clinging to my parent's values, didn't think anything about the environment, bought the party line of rape, incest, or danger to the mother where abortion was concerned, and was a big defender of the 2nd amendment. Now granted, a lot of that was a defense mechanism to get myself through college without opening up my wrists...I was hooked up with a great bunch of friends, who happened to be College Republicans, and since I was a Poli. Sci. major and quite emotionally unhinged/unmedicated at the time, I convinced myself that this was the route my life was to take.

When law school and boyfriends were cast to the wayside in favor of real life, it became a lonely business and I was adrift for several years. Finding Leslie, and unconditional love, allowed my brain to blossom, and the Internet certainly helped too. I began finding blogs that promoted things like environmentalism and gender equality and pacifism, and instead of snorting in derision, there was this "where have you been all my life?" undercurrent. I began reading/studying and realized the pathways in my mind had shifted considerably. And that's kind of an dream candidate is Kucinich's ideals in Obama's body, and if (s)he's bisexual, that would help too. But I'm saying that I'm grateful that my completely mediocre public school education allowed me enough openness of mind to find happiness and conviction in my beliefs.

So I listened today and felt hope. Certainly this country has a long way to go and quite a bit of cleanup is necessary to get us back on an even keel, before we can even think about implementing some of the social programs that we're aching for...but for the first time in a long time, the task feels doable.

On a totally selfish note, I stood and listened the entire time (because there were no empty chairs), but because I've started working my knees again, and my stance was correct, my back didn't object and my knees didn't feel like they were going to cave in on themselves...which unfortunately is a feeling I've had lately. That's a real boost to my state of mind, and I'm motivated to do some more yoga tonight (in between some serious laundry) and to create a schedule for working my legs, so I can get away from that lousy weakness I've been enjoying since the holidays. More hope :) of a very personal nature.

Monday, January 19, 2009


Sleepy. Sore. Did a really small amount of yoga yesterday, and my right knee's telling me in no uncertain terms that I need to do a lot more of that. Wah.

This week's starting out to be a paperwork week...spent yesterday resorting and shredding old files (while enjoying an empowerment boost watching Erin Brockovich)...tonight I'll try to finish that and get to resorting old paperwork that needs to be filed...which will lead to transferring paperwork back into the better filing cabinet, recycling the old one, and beginning the rearrangement of the dining area...which will be set aside though, so that I can segue from paperwork to budgeting this week. Planning that camping trip for March, which'll require a bit of saving or at least more prudent spending...yeah, I know, radical concept.

Heading into home stretch on 2nd mitten (yay! my first pair! might be big enough to line with fleece!)...still working snood. I really like the way that stitch lays out (basic k2tog, yo*), but with worsted weight, it's a little hard on the hands...I'm using a merino/acrylic/cashmere blend courtesy of my mominlaw's Tuesday Morning addiction in a really pretty kelly green. Other UFOs still enjoying neglect, but I'm getting in a sweater mood again, and I'm thinking of seeing if the Fixation I bought ages ago still has its elastic, but that yarn's buried in the dining area, so...

Wednesday, January 14, 2009


The hot broads are my Lil Sis and my Mommie :)

Interesting, the things you come across when cleaning out your picture files...

Rallying...again...and again...and...

Today dawned sunny, clear, and cold. I woke up and grumbled my way out of bed to hit the shower and realized that the grumbling was mainly general going-to-work grumblies, not the wound-tight-as-an-f'ing-drum feeling I had yesterday. Relief. Serious relief.

Planning a baby shower for a colleague at work...that should help too. I'm still stinging from the idea that January is a wash in the baby department, but am planning to talk with Husby about it.

Taking us camping for our anniversary this year (10!)...there's a state park with cheap cabins up in Fair Play, SC, that's in close proximity to a line of state parks along the Blue Ridge borders...hoping to get some fresh air and hiking in. The cabins are climate-controlled, so it'll be easier on the ole lifemate, plus weather won't be such an issue with a roof over our heads. I've learned from the soggy (make that drenching) May trip last year.

Well, as long as I'm at work...::sigh::

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Oh, there you are, depression.....

Was wondering where you'd got to...

When you're taking an untherapeutic dose of Paxil and your body doesn't produce lithium, you're occasionally going to have your ups and downs. Last week was definitely up. Today I have that run-over-by-a-truck feeling. I don't think it's seasonal affective, although there is an argument for that...the weather's absolutely miserable down here. Rainy and chill. No, make that bitter. And you all know I never complain about the cold down here. But there's something going on in my head that's making me want to head home and crawl into bed. Covers over head. Growl. Snap. But the new year just started, so I don't even have the PTO accrued yet...1 more hour of work...

I'm pretty fiercely disappointed because I think we've let another month go by...missed the ole ovulation window. I'm going to be 40 before we have our first child. I have to get past that scaring me...there's nothing to be done about it at this point. Press on...

Tonight I'm going to sit in my knitting chair in extremely comfortable PJs with a mug of hot chocolate close by and ride it out. There's decent TV on tonight, plenty of UFOs asking for attention...I tried meditation last night. Tonight I'll try yoga.

Friday, January 09, 2009

Feeling good

Friday. Payday. And my gosh, the energy...don't know whether it's the slight difference in my diet or the fact that I'm giving my body a break from the hormones this month, but I sure hope it sticks around. Last night I got off work, plowed through the rest of the dishes and tidied the kitchen, made a decent meal, knitted up to the start of the thumb on my 2nd mitten, and started the Secret Garden. Hit the sack semi-early...woke up this morning around 5 and gave up trying to get back to sleep when it dawned on me that I'd gotten 6 hours and should be able to function on I sorted a pile of bills and culled my coupons before starting my morning routine. Uh oh...I think that means if I hit the sack at a decent hour, I should be able to strike out early in the mornings and go walking...gulp!

The weekend...hoping for some accomplishment. Tomorrow I'm thinking of putting in a pinch of OT, and then I'm meeting Christy and Diana for lunch, so there goes the afternoon. But I'm slowly chipping away at the house, bit by little bit. If this energy sticks around, I hope to do some serious work in the dining area on Sunday. I've decided to turn the typewriter table into a mobile chopping block...I'll explain that more in a later post.

Giving some thought to our we may need to settle here for a few more years, before making the big move. Tossing the idea around in my head, and mentioned it to Husby this morning...I know the economy's part of what's dictating the latest change. While I have a decent job, one that's willing to work with me should I become a mom, with decent bennies, etc., it doesn't make sense to uproot. Why not settle down a bit, move a bit out of town if possible, and concentrate on getting financially stable in a setting where the cost of living actually makes that feasible...another plus is Les's pain management doc, a really decent guy who doesn't treat him like a drug seeker...

Funny thing is, I think the last trip to CT is contributing to my change of mind too. Something about not being ready physically or mentally for what a big move like that, and life afterward, would entail. Granted, we're not looking to move to big snow country (though I wouldn't mind being close enough to day trip to it), but Nani's trip was SO eye-opening to me about what I'm doing to my body, how much work I need to put in to change. I was in such physical pain while I was there. I'll grant you some of that was probably a) the weather, and b) the stress of the trip manifesting itself physically, but it's still worth studying. Which I'm doing while I think about how I want to live this life.

I joined One Green Generation's Growing Challenge - Seed to Seed (link at right). Hoping to plan that this weekend too, what I'm hoping to plant this spring.

Found 2 delightful blogs this week...A Friend to Knit With and Granola Girl. They're on my Links now. Just neat ladies about my age, doing the knitting and kid raising thing. Check out the photos by Granola Girl...holy crap do they live in God's country!

Wednesday, January 07, 2009


When I got back to work and in front of a computer last week, I did make a list of resolutions.
  1. Budgeting, repair credit
  2. Small person
  3. Make apartment livable (serious purging)
  4. Keep apartment cleaner
  5. Purchase more dpns, knit more socks, finish UFOs
  6. Husby teeth (in part)
  7. Husby job (in part)
  8. Refile disability (Feb.?)
  9. A 5-year plan with projected move, goals, etc.
  10. Healthier lifestyle for both of us
  11. A LOT less eating out
  12. More photography
  13. More creating
  14. More planting (herbs, veggies, and flowers)
  15. Take better care of cat and car, not necessarily in that order.

Looks like a tall order, but they're so varied I can't look at them as needing to be done all at once, so I don't feel overwhelmed. Which is cool, b/c I'd love to be able to pull at least some of them off. Usually these lists get abandoned early, but I'm determined not to let that happen this year. It can't...if I get pregnant, quite a few of those things will NEED to happen. So may as well get started.

So I'm back at work and life has returned to normal, which is the reason I lagged here again. I think I'll try to update it once a week, and do more pictures this year. On January 2nd, I ate like I normally do and wrote everything down (calories, fat, protein, carbs), and it was the wake-up call I needed. Now I'm choosing more carefully what I eat, and the increase I've experienced in daily energy is fantastic. Exercise is another story, but again, I'm determined to start, because the increase in weakness that I've been experiencing in my knees has me worried.

Finished my first decent pair of socks for me! That UFO was kind of negated by the snood I started right after it, but again, I'm looking forward to finishing or frogging the UFO pile and getting some real knitting done this year. Other crafts too...

So pictures soon, I promise...I want to share some of the snow shots from when we went to CT, and some other stuff, in between poking the husband to help me purge/clean the apartment, maintaining decent meals for us, and all the other delightful stuff of life that crowds out dreams.