Hope

So, anybody NOT watching a bit of TV today?

I watched the speech from outside a conference room at work, outside because the room itself was filled. People in the office clapped at key points. I had been listening at my desk, but the MSNBC feed got too choppy...CNN wasn't even letting people on, there was a wait period. I listened and wondered why it took me so long to address my true beliefs. Just 8 years ago, I was still clinging to my parent's values, didn't think anything about the environment, bought the party line of rape, incest, or danger to the mother where abortion was concerned, and was a big defender of the 2nd amendment. Now granted, a lot of that was a defense mechanism to get myself through college without opening up my wrists...I was hooked up with a great bunch of friends, who happened to be College Republicans, and since I was a Poli. Sci. major and quite emotionally unhinged/unmedicated at the time, I convinced myself that this was the route my life was to take.

When law school and boyfriends were cast to the wayside in favor of real life, it became a lonely business and I was adrift for several years. Finding Leslie, and unconditional love, allowed my brain to blossom, and the Internet certainly helped too. I began finding blogs that promoted things like environmentalism and gender equality and pacifism, and instead of snorting in derision, there was this "where have you been all my life?" undercurrent. I began reading/studying and realized the pathways in my mind had shifted considerably. And that's kind of an understatement...my dream candidate is Kucinich's ideals in Obama's body, and if (s)he's bisexual, that would help too. But I'm saying that I'm grateful that my completely mediocre public school education allowed me enough openness of mind to find happiness and conviction in my beliefs.

So I listened today and felt hope. Certainly this country has a long way to go and quite a bit of cleanup is necessary to get us back on an even keel, before we can even think about implementing some of the social programs that we're aching for...but for the first time in a long time, the task feels doable.

On a totally selfish note, I stood and listened the entire time (because there were no empty chairs), but because I've started working my knees again, and my stance was correct, my back didn't object and my knees didn't feel like they were going to cave in on themselves...which unfortunately is a feeling I've had lately. That's a real boost to my state of mind, and I'm motivated to do some more yoga tonight (in between some serious laundry) and to create a schedule for working my legs, so I can get away from that lousy weakness I've been enjoying since the holidays. More hope :) of a very personal nature.