That saying comes from Army basic training. Apparently if anyone had the gall to complain about injury or difficulty during PT, that was the response from the sergeants. Makes sense, I suppose; I mean, basic training is all about breaking down limitations and pushing your body far beyond anything you thought you were capable of....and it's frickin' voluntary. Cyril has a funny story of waiting in line in basic to receive permission for limited PT because of knee issues. The female private in front of him had an arm in a sling, a brace on one leg, a bandage on her head, and female problems on top of it and was requesting the same. The staff sergeant looks her up and down and says, "well, sounds like you need to drink water, private."
The only decent line in the movie "Johnny Be Good:"
Johnny: "Coach, I broke my dick."
Coach: "Well, throw some dirt on it and get back in the game."
It's time for me to drink water. I lost focus this week. A decent reason, but still, time to grab the bootstraps because we can't afford to lose focus like that again so close to end of April. Besides, there's an excellent chance that I'm between a rock and a hard place where my feet are concerned, so why dwell? I hope to get a decent amount from exercising my stock options, but we're probably going to need every spare cent just to get us moved on time, so buying custom orthotics is probably going to have to wait just a bit. That's ok, because I know how to deal with my feet in the meantime, and I know/finally get how important it is to break down and buy the good stuff, so it's not like I'll let it go indefinitely, especially if by some miracle I get the park ranger gig. Then I'm really going to need reliable feet. So enough feeling sorry for myself. This took the wind out of my sails, that's for sure. My god, we take feet for granted! Felt it this morning when I was walking from my car to my building in the pouring rain. Felt it when I was walking to my car in the grocery store parking lot after dark earlier in the week...even though I'm heavy, I'm always alert and ready to run. To not have the run option necessarily open to me is a new level of scary, and I don't like it.
I'm a runner, inside my head. Even when I was regular weight, I wasn't much of an actual runner, but inside my head, I'm built differently. When I really need to escape, I take myself to my old high school cross-country course at Wamogo in CT. That school was set on a hill surrounded by woods. It had 2 soccer fields up by the school and 1 lower soccer field. My body moves with a fluidity I don't possess in real life when I run around those fields. There's a rhythm and beauty to my movement. It's crisp and fall, and the leaves are golden. You can see the cows through the trees in a neighboring field. 20 years ago. Probably totally different. Glad I still have it in my head.
The point though, is that that doesn't have to be only a dream. If I wanted to actually become a runner, the only thing stopping me would be my brain. Because the issues with my body can be dealt with. I can get the right orthotics and shoes, I can eat better to lose weight, and I can exercise in so many different ways to strengthen my body.
Drink water, private...
Showed off my hat last night, worked a bit on the beanie and one row of the SSS. Have to work tomorrow, which sucks, and then we'll tuck into the apartment again. Going to resist the urge to start Cozy, I think, until after the move...I have just the right amount of UFOs at present to get me through without boredom or frustration. I think I'm feeling better.