Pondering, pensive, perturbed

I know I should be glad for all that I have, career-wise. I'm reminded of it every time we get hit up by panhandlers in the local parking lots these days.

My company isn't making it easy though.

On the outside, everything's fine, terrific in fact. We have more business than we know what to do with. The merger last year has simply exploded the level of new business here, and they're hiring people as fast as they can interview them (and determine they can at least write a clear sentence). Unfortunately, the clear sentence thing doesn't seem to be a requirement for the copywriting positions here of late, but I'm an editor, so it's my job to be snotty about their shortcomings. Well, more of a bonus, but you get the idea...

Seriously, guys, proofreading...is it really so fucking hard?

Sorry, quick digression there.....however, the down side to working at the Henry Ford model for website design is that every damn shortcoming that the copywriters and designers have, gets fielded by us editors instead (crud...is that the proper use of "us" or should it be "we"? that's one of those grammar evils that always snagged me), and since the current atmosphere here is "push it through, get it out the door," we are stuck making changes that, in the old days, would have gone back to the copywriters and designers for them to fix. This can be a simple image adjustment on a key visual or a complete GD rewrite because the copy lacks coherence.

It means we have much more freedom to make changes now (LOVE the Photoshop experience I'm getting!!). It also means that sites take twice as long, and we're still getting paid on a production basis. Which sucks. Hard. It means I'm killing myself on OT that may result in a check that looks a lot like my regular pay.

It definitely has me thinking about what kinds of jobs I'll look for when we are closer to the move. But in the meantime, it has me tired and biting back anger/resentment/annoyance/blind hatred. In other words, I'm not in the most zen place right now.

I had a terrific weekend, completely relaxed. Husby and I went shooting for the first time. We got the grocery shopping done. Turtled most of Monday while Beryl poured on us. I played game after game of Mah Jong and caught all my usual TV marathons. It was great!

Then I get to work on Tuesday, tuck into the tasks of the day, and as the current atmosphere reopens itself to me, I can feel my mood start a slow burn....which bursts into flame when the VP of Ops travels from desk to desk, quietly telling us about incentive that wouldn't normally be offered because of the holiday, if we can just put in some OT between now and end of month...

I was looking forward to a no-OT week, had pushed 14 hours last week so that I could take it easy this week. The holiday normally wouldn't allow us to work OT, without putting in 8 hours first to make up that day, so lots of people begged off. We're all getting pretty tired of the extra hours, decent checks or no. Not saying I want to go back to regular checks...those suckers barely make ends meet; but a break occasionally would be nice. Not this week apparently.

I get how business operates...I totally understand about posting profits on a month-to-month basis, and how all the work I put in could help our/my stock later. But goddamnit, would it have killed them to look ahead to this week and broach the subject last week, rather than drop it on us with 3 days left to the month and all the higher-ups losing their shit?

So determined to put together this move, this year...liquidated a small chunk of stock, which I'm using to pay off debts that may be making the ole credit look less than optimal. Signed both Husby and I up for secured Amex cards...some say that even those can help the credit, though I'm skeptical. And I'm going to research the area again, so that when we go up next month to scout around, I'll know what I'm looking for.

Image from here.