Wednesday, April 04, 2012

I really should Twitter, but I haven't the attention span.....

I get my best material (in my opinion, and let's face it, that's who matters here, she says with tongue planted firmly in cheek) while iChatting with my Lil Sis throughout the workday. It's a means of staying sane while trapped in cubicle world, chained to a keyboard. Quite a life raft actually, as there's only so much bad writing one can stomach about paving contractors and auto repair shops before you find yourself wondering just how far the monitor would soar if you heaved it across the cubes...

I talk about missing that filter that people have, the one that allows people to succeed in politics and the law, or at least keeps you from calling people douchebags in public. But I do maintain some remnants of it, I guess, because I am able to hold down a job outside of the house. The urge to burn off steam by skipping down the aisles mid-afternoon while playing with my own boobs in my professional office environment is kept in check by the occasional rant or quip to Lil Sis. We bitch about first-world problems, ponder the Darwin award winners that surround us on a given day, and occasionally exchange actual information about family.

"Pretty sure the girl in the next cube just coughed up a hairball."

"Niiice...offer her a breath mint."

"Wasn't Mom's doc appt today?"

"Yea, but call her tomorrow, we have church tonight."

"I'll never understand what phone call is so important it can't wait until a person is done propelling 1500 pounds of metal and fiberglass through the streets of Jacksonville..."

"It's called speakerphone...embrace it."


"Old fart."

And so on...nothing to write to the NY Times about, but I do find myself nailing the occasional quip and going, damn, I should put that on the blog. Because I dream of opening that filter just a bit more and unleashing the Bloggess'-style wit that I have buried somewhere. In the meantime...

"Pretty sure my grades would've been better in college if there'd been Starbucks in the '90s..."

"I really think I should be allowed to go home early because I just realized my chin hair grew back..."'s a start.

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