Friday, January 06, 2012

The Deliciousness of Friday...

Welcome, once again, to my rambling brain.....

Glad it's Friday...may as well enjoy the lack of OT while I have it. Two-day weekends were damn hard to come by this past autumn. I'm almost grateful to have my paycheck back to dismal, because it's forcing me to look at the month with a long eye and actually budget, so we're not completely desperate come rent time. I know, what a concept!

My personality is downright mercurial. My family thinks I'm a little harsh, quite a cynic, and my sarcasm can bite at times. But I'm also so completely easygoing, it baffles me when people get het up over small things. My team was asked to physically split up for a time; they're hiring so fast, there are barely desks to accommodate the surge. I guess I understand why certain people wouldn't want to move, as some of the youngsters have become good friends and formed a clique of sorts. I was the first one to volunteer to move. While it's nice having my current window seat, it also affords me a view of the back of the hospital and a front-row seat every time LifeFlight comes in for a landing. I don't need reminders of the tragedies that can befall people.

Besides, I'm betting it'll motivate me to work harder, being away from the team; because the last thing you want is to be caught screwing around when you don't have people looking over your shoulder. And it's noisy enough over there where I'll need to wear my earphones more, so I'll be more focused. Yea, that last one smacks of optimism....please allow me my delusions.

But the boss had the other folks draw straws for who else had to move and you'd think they were being asked to move outside.....what the hell does it matter where you sit? This is a job, not a social club. IMO, there should have been 3 volunteers.....someone asks you to do something at your work; you don't whine, you jump. Is this a generation gap thing, or am I just a people-pleasing person who's good at following orders? Can't be that 2nd one...I've reflected quite a bit on how glad I am I never joined the Army Reserves (it was an option 15 years and 100 pounds ago), because being forced to operate without questioning anything would've gone WAY against my grain. I am a bit of a people pleaser though.

In other news.....

It's funny how ideas take shape in your head. My pacifism has made me anti-gun for some time now, and this was a rigid belief. Not even for target practice, not even for food...which was hypocritical on its face since I'll never be a vegan probably and I still ingest mostly factory-farmed dreck. But when you're supporting a family of 2 with 1 underpaying job, your ethics yield at the shopping cart unfortunately, unless you plan very carefully (which I'm hoping to do more of, cuz I'm really tired of eating CAFO meat).

Naturally, this has also been a time when Husby has been obsessed with obtaining his first firearm. He loves guns, watches the Military Channel rather religiously, and spouts caliber differences that sail right over my head. My gun knowledge is limited to the 12-gauge, the .22, and the official Red Ryder BB gun with a compass in the stock and this thing which tells time.

When we attended our first gun show last month, I felt myself thaw just a bit...probably because there was just so much eye candy there, and I was raised by a hunter (ducks for sport), so I found myself a bit curious. Then yesterday, I read Ashley's first article in Verve, and for some reason, it woke up another part of me...the part who wants to understand more fully the hunt and gratitude to an animal for giving its life, the circle that feeds and clothes us. I've read Jenna posts about this mindset before too, but Ashley's words, and the books that are available of late on the subject, reached into my homestead-craving brain and reshaped my beliefs on the subject.

I think this will be a good weekend. There's reading, knitting, and cleaning to be done...I'd love to get at the corners of the kitchen, and the bedroom closet has ceased to be a walk-in recently. I want to try making bread again too; last weekend's effort was a dismal failure (I called it twice-risen ass...this wasn't an exaggeration). My mind still feels clear and at peace. Such a relief.

Image from here.

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