Outside: I walked outside today to the first hint of autumn, that change in the air where the humidity has dropped just enough to seem almost-cool. I could've wept with relief, but I know it's not around to stay yet, not this close to the damn equator. Still...will get out on the porch this weekend in the evenings, and I'm thinking of shifting my schedule just a pinch so I can work out in the mornings. Sounds unrealistic out loud, but something needs to change, cuz I haven't darkened the doorstep of the Y more than once a week for a while now...
Inside: boring, sterile, running low on coffee...
Wearing: black pants, flats, circus tent shirt...
Reading: Eye of the World; the latest Vegetarian Times and Yoga Journal...good stuff, motivating...
Creating: working on Cozy this week...would love to knock that out for wear this winter...
Going: hopefully nowhere...Grandma's in a holding pattern, and very little money for gas anyway.
Hoping...
The ole birthday, the 4th annual celebration of turning 39, has my wheels turning. I hate the way my clothes fit right now and how I look in the mirror. There's a distinct lack of mirrors in our house; the bathroom mirror is tiny, just the doors of the medicine cabinet, and I have a full length mirror that's not hung and should be. Having very few mirrors helps cultivate denial, and shoves aside body image issues. But I haven't been feeling healthy lately either; that last 10 pounds has really been kicking my arse, and I'm finally looking at how I live and realizing things need to change.
Thinking the family's hot milk cake recipe is in order for my birthday, and Starbucks and Panera are paying for breakfast tomorrow (gotta love them frequent flyer cards), but Friday...I start making some gradual changes. I'm embarassed to go to my cardiologist right now, which is fine cuz I think I need to reschedule anyway (can't afford it), but then comes the argument, why are you worried about the tongue lashing you'll get from him? Shouldn't you be worried about your health instead? If I don't want this to be my midlife, I need to drop ALL the weight and embrace a healthier lifestyle. There's no way I'm living as long as I want to (at least 90s, ideally 102), with this arse attached to my body.
September is back-to-school time, and even though I've been out of school for (sigh) 18 years now, it still brings forth that "bouquets of sharpened pencils" feeling (name that movie!). Good a time as any for some changes...
Image from here.
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