My birthday saved our asses this week. It produced a small influx of cash that I'm going to dispense with an eye dropper. The urge to blow a pinch of it on a decent meal isn't even there, really. Some fresh veggies maybe, but not Longhorn. I'm off red meat now anyway.
I'm slowly modifying my life choices. I've had too many aborted attempts to go cold turkey on anything. Change will stick if it's gradual and understood. Luckily, I'm in a good frame of mind to do this. I pushed my cardio appointment another month, because I can't afford to go in September, and because I want to be able to show him something. But it's not about him; it's about me finally understanding how my food choices affect my health and life. And that's a powerful thing...it's what kept me driving to Chipotle yesterday instead of being lazy and grabbing Zaxby's. Couldn't even stomach the thought of Zaxby's. And realizing afterward that I should have taken it a step further and eaten a full veggie bowl, because I wasn't even happy with the chicken. Damn empowering, these realizations.
And all of a sudden, you have the time to do right by you...made the effort last night to cook rice, which I mixed with red beans and salsa for lunch today. Takes a little planning and effort, but so worth it. When Les called to tell me about the extra dough, he "gave me permission" to grab something "real" for lunch instead. What I've brought is infinitely more real than a sub or fast food. I'm good.
Changed my work schedule a smidge so I can start exercising in the mornings. That'll mean hitting the sack by 10, but there's nothing on TV around then, and I've gotta get off so much tube time anyway. It's so damn automatic to turn the thing on...first thing in the morning to glance the weather report turns into having L&O on in the background while I dress. In the evenings, it goes on when I enter the bedroom. Why? My life's not going to be unfulfilled if I miss an NCIS episode I've seen 3 times already. Priorities.
I'll decrease caffeine in another week, because there's regular in the cabinet now. I'm weaning off dairy and researching gluten. Finding some terrific resources online and at the library. Was thinking of doing sauna once a week to purge more toxins, so naturally my local Y's sauna just broke down. Oh well, extra exercise it is! Decreasing sugar slowly, and I'm back to drinking water in the afternoons. Going to make time for meditation, just not sure if it'll be mornings, evenings, or both. If I need earplugs to drown out Husby's TV, so be it. Or maybe I'll find an ocean waves track for the iPod...
Thanks for all the FB birthday wishes, gang! This is a very different birthday this year; not a lot of fanfare, but I'm feeling good, unafraid, and strong. I'll make Nanie's hot milk cake tonight to celebrate, and think of her and Dad. There's OT this weekend (woohoo! need the dough!), so that should keep me from pissing away the weekend in my usual style. I'll tackle small projects and go to the Y on Saturday, and resist the urge to crash when I get home on Sunday after work. Don't want to screw up my sleep pattern anyway, because I start the new work schedule on Monday. I feel so damn good.
Unsure where image from, probably here.
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