I didn't think I'd feel this relieved. It's actually frustrating to feel as relieved as I do about our inability to move, because I get afraid that it signals a complacency that I've been fighting against since, oh, moving to this damn state really. I really don't like it here. I've certainly said it often enough. There are no seasons, the trees don't change colors at the right times, and my apartment's too small and devoid of modern clothes-washing machinery.
But this is different. Seeing my credit scores, seeing that there are definite steps I need to take before we can even THINK about trying to leave...these are steps that weren't in my plan before, and have to be now. It creates forward movement. The question, "are you doing everything you need to be doing?" gets an honest answer now, not just one that's fueled by my dreams of traipsing through a field wearing muck boots.
Spent a chunk of yesterday unpacking and reorganizing, playing box Tetris as Lil Sis calls it, to get the stuff that can stay in boxes (board games, Christmas stuff, Dad stuff, etc) stashed in a way that we're not tripping over it...and unpacked a large chunk of our library. That feels so good! to have our books at hand again. It's not done yet, but I'm just going to tackle that place one section at a time, until the only thing keeping me from inviting people over is the smoke smell...
I'm starting fresh lists, downloading free budget templates until I get one that speaks to our sitch, thinking about projects. I want to plant stuff out on the porch and refinish those cabinets. We're going to cook more at home this fall. There's zucchini in the crisper begging to be made into bread later this week. I'm in a surprisngly good place right now.