Perspective

"Many women would trade a year of life to be thin."

~ Headline in today's teaser section of MSNBC.com's Health

I spent a whopping 2 seconds thinking how asinine that header is, before it dawned on me that since it will take a year for me to get back down to what I would consider "fighting weight," that I basically am trading a year of my life in order to be healthy. And when I think of how many years I've already wasted at this weight.....well, let's just say I'm back in a healthy frame of mind.

Part of it is the shame of going to my annual cardiology check next week weighing exactly the same as I did last year. Part of it is doing a little research about what I normally consume at Zaxby's and discovering that I probably should've already enjoyed my first heart attack (dear god, the calories and sodium!!!). Part of it is spending the last 3 days retaining water like a sponge, because god forbid I alter my diet for the better when the PMS rolls around. Whatever the reasons, this morning dawned a more positive outlook and I packed my gym bag for after work today.

And while the very idea makes me ache and fear for our prospects as parents, I think I need to chill on the idea of baby making until we're moved. I don't give a damn how good the anti-discrimination laws are; interviewing with a belly has got to lower your odds. And if my PMS is teaching me anything, it's that I'm a little nutty when the hormones are in flux. Can. Not. Imagine how I'd be, negotiating a move out of state and new job while lugging a belly. I always talk about knowing my limitations; it's time to give this to the gods for just a tiny while longer. If it's meant to be...