My Morning Rally

My dad used to quote a comedian who said something to the effect that he couldn't understand people who didn't drink, because he couldn't handle the idea of recognizing that when you woke up in the morning, that was the best you were going to feel all day. It's kind of a joke grenade...anyone who's ever enjoyed a hangover will get that statement, because when you think back on hangovers, the light at the end of the tongue-shaving, head-pounding, dear-god-get-some-food-into-my-system tunnel is the knowledge that by afternoon, after fast food and a serious nap, you may be back to some semblance of human that can function in society. It's something to look forward to.

I was reminded of that line this morning, because it dawned on me as I plugged away on websites and noshed on a donut and coffee, that the little black cloud that was over my head when I came in was dissipating. It's Tuesday, it's gorgeous out, I want to be anywhere but here, and yet there's some lightness peeking out of my brain that will make the next 6 hours easier. The wheels slowly begin turning and I'm able to multitask, make lists for the move in between editing websites. This is good, because I'm scattered at home...I get there after 8 hours of rote brain activity and look around me at the monumental task I hope to accomplish for us, and I'm overwhelmed, and then mundane stuff falls to the wayside (like the cleanliness of the kitchen), which only scatters me more. Bit of a vicious circle...

Take last night...wanted to start long-handing cover letters to some potential employers up in NC...just hash out the basics. Could do that on the computer, but 10 hours a day on the blasted thing is quite enough lately...I burn off a pinch of steam on it when I get home (heh, like 2 hours' worth), but I'm currently in a phase where I'm recognizing that I'm spending too much time on the damn thing. Which sucks because there are real projects that I'd like to accomplish on the sucker naturally, like uploading my pictures to Shutterbug, reloading iTunes and completely organizing my playlists, and the nitty-gritty of researching for NC. So I finally go to watch some tube and my brain is mush and I can't sit still for my shows, so I'm bouncing off the walls and not writing or reading or anything. I haven't picked up knitting in months either, been too restless and scattered. So I woke up grumbly.

But I'm here now, waking up slowly, and there's the prospect of going home early because there's not enough work to go around, which is OK because I have PTO to spare, so I'll concentrate on that while I plug along, dreaming of a different job, a different city, and a fresh start.