Man, this flu kicked my ass! Relapsed yesterday, was supposed to go into work for a few hours, because I took too much time off last week; but I drove all the way there, turned around and drove home, because the fresh air and smells of spring were just too much and I knew I didn't have the energy at all to go to work...sat outside for a piece when I got home, and then crashed hard and slept the afternoon away, waking up that evening feeling like shit on toast. This morning I've rallied thanks to meds, and am in a place where going to work tomorrow doesn't seem like quite so desperate a proposition, but it's definitely shown me that I need to continue taking it easy, won't be walking any marathons in the near future. Not even starting that Kathy Smith, until I'm sure it won't do more harm than good. My appetite's still lousy, so I'm not grazing at least. Small favors.
Set aside The Fifth Sacred Thing in favor of The Twelve Wild Swans, getting back to basics. It's very frustrating to be laying in bed feeling like crap, and wondering if there's anything more you could be doing. Even simple grounding eluded me yesterday; I'm going to try some simple meditation or visualization later. When I sat outside yesterday, instead of recharging me, it left me spent, and while I know that that's the flu tasking my stores, I know I could be doing small things to bring myself back to the earth. Just because I can't plant this spring doesn't mean I can't have the dirt in my fingers.