It'll be dark when we drive the back roads tonight, but I'm still going to roll down the window and breathe deeply through my nose. I'm going to traipse through a different entry of Hitchcock Woods. I'm going to lie flat in their side yard and roll in the pine needles. I'm going to hug the trees in their front yard. If I get around to it, I'll hug them too.
We're going up to SC to visit the inlaws this weekend. It's going to be a tight fit; Husby's sis, small person, and insignificant other have moved back in, a friend of LilSisinlaw's is coming to visit, and another family friend (surrogate daughter to Grandma, bitch-on-wheels to us - she was the voice in Grandma's ear, convincing her not to help Les with his teeth) is staying as well. I don't want to seem unsociable, but I think I'll be spending a lot of time outside.
We really can't afford to go to the fair like we were planning, but I made the mistake of checking out the SC State Fair website, and I think I'll be convincing us we can afford it. It looks like a blast. Animals and arts and crafts and food and Chinese drummers and......I really need this change of scene; my brain's been hurting this week with the knowledge that Dad's gone, and I need to breathe some fresh air and take stock again. For all my talk about hanging onto the good feelings from the last time we were up there, I haven't really centered since July. I'm taking knitting up there of course, and I'm dipping back into Starhawk's books, as well as T. Thorn Coyle's book on (Feri) Evolutionary Witchcraft, because I've been searching for tomes on meditation and it dawned on me yesterday that what I was looking for, was right on my own bookshelf. Isn't that always the way? And if I'm going to be this damn sad for the near future, I need to find ways to be ok with it. Just can't afford to be at loose ends right now...
"Oh Emma Rae, I have a cookbook to publish......and a Grand Prix to organize.....and I just don't have time for the nervous breakdown I so richly deserve!"
—Julia Roberts, paraphrased from "Something to Talk About"