I really didn't think I was sweating the cardiologist appointment. Sure, I was eating WAY too much, and getting the occasional twinge in my chest that brought back memories of my panic attacks in college and after, but instead had me thinking naturally that there was something actually wrong there...but I guess thanks to my psychotropic meds, I wasn't feeling actual worry. Didn't even feel it when we were stuck waiting for 2+ hours at the drs. office due to them being seriously behind yesterday...Les gets way impatient under those conditions, but I was just bored silly. Finally he comes in, looks over my paperwork, and chats with us...and I'm ok. There's 2 or 3 problem areas that need to be watched over the next couple of years, but there's no way to know if they're genetic issues or weight issues...so why not try to lose some weight...which was exactly what I was expecting to hear. I mean, I knew there'd be a little something off, when they sent me the letter saying my stress test results were abnormal, but when the doc took my age, lack of symptoms, etc., into account, he pronounced me healthy, gave me advice, and said I was perfectly able to have kids :) And the thing is, the things he noted with my heart are all things that will very likely improve or remedy when I drop some weight (ventricles not working up to par under stress, which he implied was a coronary artery issue and NOT anything like what Dad had, and slight regurg at 2 valves)...as my body gets healthier, my heart should follow suit.
We asked him about different diets and god bless him, he emphasized how the important thing about those diets is to use them as a guideline, not as the Bible for how to lose weight...which I needed to hear, because as much as I talk up Dr. Ornish's ideas, the plain fact is that Ornish is a program that would require SLOW integration into Melanie's lifestyle, because it's so far afield from my regular food consumption, it would feel like serious deprivation and I'd be mainlining Haagen-Daz in a corner somewhere within a day or two. Those books I'm reading lately are fantastic, but boy does it make you a discriminating shopper. Went to Publix yesterday and was really disappointed in their produce section...the greens were on their last legs, as was most of the organic stuff, and the stuff that wasn't from California was from the Dominican Republic or someplace. I mean, I understand stuff like bananas and pomegranates coming from the tropics, but you can't tell me that the only place to grow acorn squash is Mexico. I have a feeling I'll be further disappointed at Native Sun, by the fossil fuel being burned to give us our "organics," but I'm definitely going to have to check them out in the near future, because the produce pickings are just too slim at your average grocery store.
But I must've been stressing the cardio visit (as I mentioned at the beginning), because as the day progressed afterward, I began to feel wave upon wave of RELIEF! Only thing that kept me from going for a walk is that my toe's still healing, and I want to be able to keep up on Saturday at the Autism walk at the zoo, so I'm sticking to flexibility/relaxation exercises for the rest of the week. Made a REALLY delicious version of chicken ala king last night, and settled in with new fall shows. I haven't been knitting in a couple of days (probably the stress, plus knowing when I've got too much going on to concentrate on lace), but I got some more books out of the library on life changes n stuff, so the brain's getting a workout.
MAN, I feel better :)