Thursday, September 27, 2007

Hormone hostage

RAGING PMS today...give me the bad foods and shut the f*ck up about what they'll do to me and while you're at it, clean the apartment and throw out half our furniture and scrub the walls especially around the vents and move things around in the dining area because the litter boxes are taking over that area (which is beyond nasty given Jordan's intestinal difficulties) and cull the bedroom closet because the weather just might be starting to turn...should NEVER have skipped the coffee this morning...bought BK and threw the sandwich out without taking a bite because it just looked too revolting to consume...lunch was a little better but I've been on a downward slope since I got up this morning...and the probable reason behind it is taking its sweet time.

So I certainly have no patience for sitting on my ass in a cube, editing websites at the rate of 2 an hour instead of 3, because there's no goddamn work at work! I work on base+incentive and we're barely making numbers here. I spent the morning applying for an editing position over in the Cecil Commerce Center area, I think, because that shitty commute would be worth it for $5K more a year and oh, I don't know, some challenges on the job! And yet, even thinking about changing jobs is one of the more terrifying concepts currently in Melanie's life, with bills still backing up and no help for it. I've been thinking of sticking with WSP for part-time remote work if I got a new job, but if things don't pick up, they won't even offer it to'll be don't-call-us-we'll-call-you. I'm very frustrated. We started the application process with SS for Husby; we've received 2 confirmation #s and we're waiting on an email to move to Step whatever (plus I think they'll be sending us new stuff in the mail - the paperwork we had was over 2 years old already).

Saturday's the autism walk, then eye appointments for Husby and I, so I'm just gonna have to keep myself from crawling back under the covers when we finally get back home Saturday afternoon. There's too much getting neglected, and listing it online ain't working...going to have to organize myself better.

Ever feel the anger in your limbs? I want to be up and walking around, walking some of this energy out, but I'm chained to my desk. Scratch that...on top of the distinct lack of work, the system just went down so that the meager amount of work that we do have, can't be accessed!

I'd like to go home now.

I loathe whining. I know it's just a bad mood...I'll clean some tonight, turtle a little, see if I can watch Grey's Anatomy without cringing or crying because of the memories it creates, and move on...hopefully my DVD of Wide Awake is sitting at the complex right now; that'll lift my spirits considerably. And I really should get back to knitting...I think not picking up the needles in days could be contributing to the funk.

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