Thursday

I just love waking up and realizing that I've been dreaming that Dad didn't really die, it was all a mistake, and we're going to be able to get his heart fixed in time. My heart's broken into about 14 pieces this morning...I'm going to have to listen to music all day just to stay focused on work.

That's gotta be residual from my cardio apppointment...doc looked at the autopsy and the first words out of his mouth were, why didn't they stent him? Granted, we don't have all his records yet, but all I could think was, no shit, been wondering the same thing. I'm beginning to think that what held Dad back was Dad.

Dr. Ashchi is terrific...the ARNP must've told him I got weepy explaining things to her, because when he came in, his handshake turned into a hug and I felt immediately at ease. I'm getting an echo (cardiogram) and a stress test done next week; my EKG showed abnormalities, but I ain't worried yet. The thing is, researching the echo and the pictures it takes, I really can't understand how they missed that Dad's heart had enlarged...the chambers and walls come out clearly enough. I'm wondering if I need to be equally pissed at an incompetent ultrasound tech, as I am of Dad's apparently scalpel-shy cardiologist.

We ended up taking Jordan back to the vet; he has a mouth infection and stopped eating again...so I'm racing to get a baby hat done at least for the shower on Saturday, because we're out of dough and I can't shop like I wanted to for Cooper. Tonight's Mom's jewelry party, tomorrow night's a get-together with my work team to send off our boss, Saturday's the shower, Sunday's a get-together with friends, so Monday I'm doing me some serious turtling!