40 Years

Tim and Virginia Lyons celebrate 40 years of marriage on Sunday, January 21, 2007.

This still, as I write it, kind of baffles me. I remember my past with a child's subjectivity, and my memory never thought they'd make it this far. It's a relationship that's evolved, to be sure. Meara says that she was raised by two different people than Cyril and I were, and there's definite truth in that. I witnessed so much fighting, so much beratement and disrespect, that I wasn't sure I'd ever want to get married. I never understood how they could spew such venom at each other and stay together. To this day, Mom can go day after day hearing her own shortcomings, and I don't think she's ever truly conjured the necessary strength to say back to him, "if you don't have something nice to say, shut the fuck up!" And he's never left, never reached a point of no return on his frustration at her role in the lack of perfection in his life.

Because deep down, they are a good match, albeit a bit tweaked, and they've both evolved; she's developed a slightly thicker skin, he's gone a little mellow and a lot more fragile. Really, his health being what it is, there's no question now as to why they're still together, but to have gotten this far...I guess I still don't get it, because I'm very lucky in who I found to share my life with. We respect each other, try to treat each other as equals, our love surpasses our obstacles, and as a result we rarely fight at all, and if we do, it's not in a manner that berates or humiliates the other person. I'll occasionally pick a fight when it feels like we need to clear the air; otherwise we co-exist rather beautifully. I'm sure having kids will screw the hell outta that :) And then again, maybe it won't, because we've had all this great time together building such a solid relationship.

Anyway, some luck jumped into this weekend. My dad has 2 brothers now; Tom lives in Clearwater and Dan lives up in Norwalk, CT. Dan & Karen are visiting Florida, so Dad and Mom are going down to Tom & Denyse's to visit on Saturday, and then they'll come home Sunday, bringing Dan & Karen with them, so we can celebrate on their anniversary. Cyril will have Hunter that day too; looking forward to seeing my beautiful nephew!