As I reconcile myself with getting turned down for the promotion, one thing keeps sneaking up on me...
The lithium deficiency is a viable excuse. It helps me recognize certain limitations. But while it justifies a scaling-back of certain areas of my life, it also forces me to examine my life more fully, to figure out the areas where scaling-back isn't an acceptable alternative. I have dreams that aren't going to get accomplished without some serious sucking-up, head-down, nose-to-grindstone work. I'm no stranger to hard work; keeping my little family afloat all these years is proof of that. But I need to take it a step further, or we're never getting out of Florida/I'm never getting published.
Husby will do his share; I know this. Folks who know us may look on that statement with skepticism, but a person's share has so many more facets than just money. He's slowly becoming healthier, physically and emotionally, and that's more important than any job he could hold right now. He came out of his Reiki class this past weekend more at peace than I've seen him in ages. And his support and faith in me speaks volumes, keeps me chugging along toward our goals.
This weekend was...good. Worked OT at o-dark-thirty on Saturday morning, had a follow-up eye appointment, and then went home for napping and puttering. Sunday I moved stuff around in the bedroom just enough to make myself think I'd reorganized and purged a little. Then I read, played, and knitted, frogged 2 old projects, and gave myself a mani-pedi, all while the windows were open and the breeze and sun streamed through our little apartment. I felt contentment. Such a damned precious thing.
Image from here.
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