Friday, February 03, 2012

Full of promise...for sleep?

So I'm back. Still feels like the coward's way out, having to get back to real work, earning money. Les hasn't been home for 2 very long and hard weeks, and is staying for 1 more, to make sure Mom's OK and hopefully get another member of the family driving in that time.

The service was beautiful. My stupid cold made me start hacking right in the middle of it, so I missed some parts while I was outside trying to keep my lungs inside my body; but it also meant I was outside for the Marine corpsman playing Taps, which was easily the most beautiful rendition of that piece I've ever heard. The weather was perfect, low 60s and sunny. We had a reception afterward, and spent the rest of the week attempting to slip back into something that resembled normalcy. We purged quite a bit of Dad's side of the closet and inherited a bunch. The fact that I fit into some of his shorts and 1 pair of his jeans is alternately disturbing and hilarious, depending on where my self-esteem is at the time.

I'm tired, rather bone tired. Slept fine last night, felt great to be back in my own bed, but today's rather fuzzy around the edges and I ache to be outta here. Also ache in my left shoulder, did something weird that has me aching all along the left side of my neck. Quite annoying, and 5 hours with a seatbelt RIGHT THERE didn't help yesterday. Whinewhinewhine...some truly weird breakouts/rashes in that area too that I'm guessing are stress-related...

Came back to find another boss has flown the coop and the job's up for grabs. I should really try for it again. I talk a good game about getting us up to SC before the lease runs out in December, but I know my head's up my arse where that's concerned. Just not feasible. So why not take a chance at earning more money at a job I'm practically overqualified for? Let the internal self-sabotage talk commence...

This weekend...I'm making a list. Or two or three. Being in SC for a whole week is a bit like being off-grid; I unplugged a bit and for the most part, didn't miss it. There are so many other things on my plate beyond the Internet. I want to start planting. Stocking up on mason jars for strawberry canning in another month or so. Eat well, get to the Y or out for walks. Open up the house and scrub the yuck spots. Purge more belongings. Mostly, I just want to recharge, think, study. This year can't just fly by like the others have; at the end of it, I have a very solid goal in mind.

In spite of the reason for being up there, I felt more at peace than I have in a while. I love SC, the rural/suburban simplicity of the towns and how surrounded by nature they are. Winding among the hills in the car, driving back with the windows down, breathing deeply...tucking away the memories for when the city starts getting to me.

Image from here.

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