Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Taking Stock

Grandfather Mountain in NC has a FB account, and they've been recording the fall color this month. I adore these shots, mostly by Helen Moss Davis.

It's annoying, how all the energy and great ideas and planning occurs in the back of my brain when I'm at work and can't do anything about it. Just took 5 minutes to write appointments down in my calendar and feel a little more settled, but still.....

I'm going through one of my phases, the "what's stopping you from living the life you want" phase. It's coupled with other voices, spouting stuff like "if you want to live more simply, why is your home still filled to the brim with crap?" and "if you want to live a different life so badly, how come you can't take the time on the evenings and weekends to work toward that, to budget and plan, so you can get your credit in order and quit frickin' whining about living somewhere you absolutely hate?".

Yea, they're long-winded little bastards, these internal voices...highly critical too.

Outside: supposed to hit 80 today, but it's overcast, which means muggy. Terrific.

Inside: warm

Wearing: a shirt that makes me feel huge, pants that are too warm, shoes that don't fit orthotics well and need to be disposed of.....whinewhinewhine.....

Reading: Crazy Sexy and The Dragon Reborn.

Creating: Plain vanilla sock (Yarn Harlot), wishing I had a good idea for a Halloween costume...

Going: n/a

Dad J's hanging in there. We can't afford to visit, even with the OT, so I'm grateful for the holding pattern.

I'm having trouble sitting still lately, can't just relax and veg in front of the tube in the evenings...I have to be doing something else too. This bugs me, so I may force a little meditation this week. Or turn the tube off and focus on just one thing, be it planning or reading or knitting. My brain could use some focus.

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