Sunday ponderances

Is that even a word? Gotta look it up...

ooo, fancy word even! One of those words that goes beyond the Merriam-Webster free trial ; )

So yesterday was a wash...got back from OT and couldn't muster any motivation. Tried to nap and failed, thought about knitting, didn't happen...

I think back to that amazing week, the one where I ate mostly plant life and felt like a million and a half bucks. I think about my current moodiness, how it's tied to my hormones and what goes into my body. I think about the shame that's tied to the cardiologist appointment I have in a week. I think about the things growing in my female plumbing. I think about Crazy Sexy and Kris Carr. I think about how I've been eating since I got paid on Friday. I think about how out of control I've been feeling about my body, how I've been afraid of exercising because of my right foot, yet I can tell the rest of my body has been aching for the activity. I think about how I really have reached a point where I can't eat certain things anymore, because the reactions that occur may as well be allergies, for the ways my body responds.

I was all set to grab Zaxby's on Friday at lunch, but my brain turned the car toward Chipotle because I couldn't stand the horrible lassitude, the complete evacuation of energy that would have occurred if I'd eaten that crap. Didn't stop me from grabbing it for dinner though. Guess it's OK to treat myself like crap if I don't have anything planned afterward. What unbelievable bullshit.

Today's being planned in my head and on paper. I'm cleaning out the fridge and doing the dishes before I go shopping. I'm checking out recipes online and making a list. I'm hitting Whole Foods, Walmart, and Publix probably, shopping for the best prices and the best produce. I'm prodding Husby for ideas on the evening meals, because I'm straying from normal and he probably won't want to go with me on some days. Ironic when you consider he ate healthier than me coming into the relationship...but he's a meat and veggies guy, while I'm going cold turkey again, vegetarian.

Gotta get moving...