Deliberate movement

Images are ghost cat and view from my back porch...could be worse.

I'm awakening slowly this morning, slept late, but enjoyed stress dreams for the late portion of my REM, so I'm content to let my waking occur organically, not push it. I'm eating breakfast and pondering projects. It's too warm to go walking, so I'll spend the day puttering indoors. There's plenty to do. I'll carve a hole in the dining room and later, when it's cooler, I'll hop out to the porch to move some stuff around. The ducks are going to learn who's boss out there. My small successes with the plants have me itching to expand my herb garden and rearrange stuff out there. Also, have to murder some yellow jackets...little bastards nailed me good yesterday. I was crouched, getting pictures of the duck...my knees were cussing me out for crouching full like that, and I didn't notice my hand brushed the damn nest they've been building on our charcoal cooker. At least 5 stings on my right hand. Thankfully, I'm pretty immune to such things...hurt like a bitch at first, then itched, but no residual symptoms, just feeling foolish for forgetting they were out there, plus a little indignance, because getting stung feels like something that only happens to oblivious little kids, not adults.

Appreciate what you have. I'm trying hard for that motto, can't let myself be bummed about staying here...there's no point. We're not ready, our finances won't let us get ready fast, so no point in wallowing. I think I get this from Dad; the man was a shark...let himself get depressed about things, but was always moving, crowding out the thing that depressed him with other projects. With him, it may have been avoidance, but my dreams won't let me avoid the big picture, because remedying it will only bring us closer to my little patch of land. I really don't give a damn if it's a form of living in denial, because without dreams, you're sunk. I may not do well living in the present, but I'm able to tolerate the present with a clear eye on the future. Eventually the two will meet, and I'll be able to practice Zen with a clear conscience.

Nudging against this positive attitude is a pinch of envy, because my Lil Sis is heading in the right direction faster than we can. I've been hinting at her activities, couldn't get into detail; but she gave her notice at work, so I feel safe spilling it...the little creep is moving to Charlotte! She has a job up there waiting for her, solid looking firm, nice pay raise; and she works hard to keep her finances manageable, so the move's coming together pretty nicely. Les and I are helping with the driving over 4th of July weekend. I'm excited for her, and I'm sure being able to go up there and get even a small look around will help motivate me further.