Zen

"Sunny. 72. And that's the weather."
~ George Plimpton's weatherman character in LA Story (1991)

Living in the South has its perks.

So I'm going through another phase :) Well, hopefully it's more than just a phase...It's coming at a necessary time in my life. Work is quite stressful, I'm not too happy with the way things have been shaping up in my company of late, but of course, the economy being what it is and my intentions toward starting a family being what they are, I'd be a blithering fool to go looking for work right now, so I swallow my stress and press on, which naturally creates more stress unless you have a decent outlet (and that's not even counting the resentment stress I swallow that's pointed toward Husby in moments of weakness, or the desire to shake his pain management doctor into submission). There's knitting and learning to spin, sure, but I've been back to not eating right, my sleep patterns tend to suck lately, and eventually, the ole health/sanity starts to give.

And then I happened upon Momma Zen...

I studied Buddhism awhile back, in the offhand, dabbler-on-a-quest fashion that any lapsed Christian explores their religious options. I think I may have even still been a Republican at the time, so it was hard to get my mind around the level of pacifism that they embrace (and I still reserve the right to yell for my husband if I see a roach in the house, and won't be giving up meat any time soon). But something about Zen spoke to me, called out to me, when I happened upon Momma Zen on Friday. I plowed through her archives and it was like Neosporin for my soul. I truly suck at living in the present; I'm always looking ahead to the next city, the next phase in our lives, because I'm not happy where we are. But something clicked this past weekend...it's hard to describe. I realized I have it in me to make the changes I want to make, in the apartment and in our lives, and suddenly the pressure was off to make them all happen immediately.

Yesterday, I slept in for the first time in ages. Got the closet back up to snuff...that was a remarkably fast process; I even have my dining room table back already! Not going to bother calling maintenance to replace the shelving, I'm just throwing it out and making do for now. My casual wardrobe doesn't require a whole lot of hanging stuff anyway.

Sat zazen and was surprised at how comfortable it was. I'll be incorporating more yoga into my evenings too, as I find my balance in this new study of life. I'm still a witch at heart, but my unitarian beliefs got a real shot in the arm this past weekend, and I'm charged with the desire to learn more.