Thought that counts

Making myself actually read Kathy is keeping me from working out! The most I did last night was carry the laundry up and down the stairs, and conserve gas by walking to the laundry room when I switched stuff from washer to dryer. A short jaunt, but still pleased with myself. But in my defense, I REALLY don't want to screw myself this time. I was thinking of copying the training log pages out of the book so that I don't screw up the originals, but that got me thinking that I'm already setting myself up for failure because I've stopped midway on stuff like this in the past and then I'm ticked that I don't have clean original copies to start over on.....so by thinking that I need copies, I'm already thinking that I won't make it through the 12 weeks without slip-ups? But let's face it; a small part of me is still a Virgo and certainly my father's daughter, so having the book act as a template and making copies for the actual working out is organizationally prudent...a little anal, maybe, but prudent...so I just need to change my thinking, because she emphasizes how the plan can be adapted, modified for continuation after the first 12 weeks, so if I'm more comfortable making copies of the training logs than writing directly in the book, then that's a positive move toward my program, right? Yeah, that's it! This regular exercising thing is going to be just as mental as it is physical, so figuring this out now rather than 2 weeks in, has gotta help, right? Think I'm almost convinced...it's tough starting a daily program after 37 years of doing nothing of the sort...requires a discipline and love of yourself that you didn't know existed up until then. Getting the good news about my BP at the docs was a relief, but there's no way I'll take it as an excuse to slack off or be complacent about my health. So it's really ok that I'm taking my time getting to know this program, because it'll mean less confusion once I've started, which'll make me more comfortable. Sounds like I'm trying hard to convince myself of this, huh? Actually it's just me thinking out loud. It dawned on me that one of the reasons I fail so easily at exercise is because I don't give it the attention, before as well as during, that it deserves. We're talking about moving—physically, intellectually, emotionally—toward a healthier lifestyle, toward a way of living that'll be beneficial for the rest of my life. Of course it requires study and attention to detail, and careful planning. It's the key to why diets don't work, because people are only looking to change until the scale hits that magic number, and then they think they'll just automatically be good from there on, when in fact it gives them license for things to "go back to normal." I can't, no, won't let that happen. I want to chase after my kids without getting winded. I want to live to be 102.

So I took stock of my workout equipment and read last night, and thought about rearranging the furniture in the bedroom so that I have a space. I know I'd be more comfortable working out in the bedroom, and thankfully, they're still using the downstairs apartment as a model, so I don't have to worry about bothering neighbors for now. Besides, it's not like I'll be doing aerobics much; I'll keep my main cardio work outside or at the complex treadmill, unless I decide to join the Y. I hate giving money to a gym, but if it has equipment that I could use, I may investigate the option, because it's RIGHT NEXT DOOR to my office, so the convenience factor is obvious. Hard to think about something like that when we usually can't pay our way out of a paper bag though, so for now, I'm assessing what I have so I can make do. Might ask Lil Bro if he has any cast-off workout equipment, and luckily dumbbells are cheap. Point is I can start with what I have; it doesn't require any serious spending, though I'll be glad when my gift card is back up to its balance so I can indulge myself a bit.

This whole entry oughta go in my MJ Health & Happiness blog...ah well. But I'm getting excited about this as I write about it! That's gotta be a good sign. I woke up groggy as hell this morning after stress dreams, but just thinking about getting healthier is getting me jazzed. Tonight I'll move the furniture and finishing reading up to the training logs.