Monday, July 23, 2007

Monday...could be worse...

Woke up with a splitting, nauseous headache this morning, no clue why, so now that the meds have kicked in, I'd love to be anywhere but at work. When you feel so much better after feeling so lousy, the last place you want to be is stuck in a cube...you want to savor it. Ah well.

Semi-productive weekend...worked a pinch Saturday playing catchup with my hours. Moved furniture in the bedroom Friday night and discovered something I haven't seen in a long time: floor space...and I didn't even have to move one of the coffee tables to the closet. Did laundry Saturday night at Mom's house, which was nice, but sad. They have a new couch and coffee table, so the living room is infinitely more comfortable to hang out in now, but the place is still chock full of memories. I remarked to Lil Bro recently that the damn garage is a time capsule, and it definitely brought back the ache as I worked Saturday night...got some good cries in, which naturally has me wondering if it hurt so badly that night because I haven't been crying nearly as much since getting back on lithium. It's helping me immensely in my ability to function day to day, but am I trading coping with the grief for just plain coping, and will that actually prolong my pain/retard my ability to heal? Good questions for the doc tomorrow - new psych appt after work Tuesday. Still I've been a good girl, maintaining 2 a day on the lithium, so it was nice to see the grief break through that actually, even if it hurt like hell.

Yesterday, Sunday, we went to the flicks with Steve & Lynn; I work with Steve - we've hung out on occasion for years (cookouts, birthdays, etc.). We went to the new Harry Potter, which none of us were overly impressed with, unfortunately. The fact that they've managed to keep all the same actors in the key roles really helps, but this movie was the most uneven, poorly edited of them all so far. Complete lack of segues, really blunt feel. Then we went back to their house for dinner, which was nice, though they can barely socialize at present. I think they kept the invite open to us to maintain a feeling of normalcy, but their lives aren't normal right now. They have a little boy who's going on 3, a delightful handful who took to Les like a duck to water yesterday - it was beautiful. Usually I'm the one who hits it off with the small people, but for some reason, Lukas wasn't having me yesterday. Lynn's pregnant with their 2nd boy though, and it's been a very difficult pregnancy - she developed an absess below the baby that is pushing down on nerves, creating a great deal of pain as well as numbness in one leg, and she's on IV nutrition at night. So she's wiped out from that, and Steve's wiped out from picking up the slack. Still it was nice to socialize and get a visitor's eye view of parenthood again.

So, this week...a couple of things. Getting back on my big knitting projects...I've been neglecting the log cabin blanket and the random wrap. Instead, made myself a small pouch for a makeup kit and a sunglass case over the weekend, just cuz. Which reminds me of one funny thing from the Harry Potter movie, when the Weasley kids all opened their latest hideous knitted creations from their mother at Christmastime. Lord, keep me from being one of THOSE knitters. I also want to start 2 baby projects this week: something for Steve and Lynn's new guy, Cooper, and something for my team leader's impending new daughter. Easy stuff like booties and washcloths for the latter, maybe a first stab at a small person's sweater for Coop. Toughest thing on that will be the sizing; I prefer running large on baby clothes, but these folks are quite small in frame - Lukas is a 3 year old wearing 18 month clothes, so I'll actually pay attention to whatever pattern I choose and go for something less than 9 months in size, I think. Will continue to dig into that apartment and reorganize, unpack and repack boxes, etc. We'll bring the coffee table upstairs (it's still in the car from last week), and decide what to do with it. We took the first end table from Mom's and made it the new TV table; the shelves are handy for Les's PS2, and I look forward to getting the other end table/chest from Mom's because that'll allow me to unpack the VHS tapes and store them, which'll free up the boxes for the closet. Definitely need to make some lists of what I'd like to accomplish...I'll do that tonight, so that it won't be so daunting. I tend to wander the apartment looking at stuff and feeling overwhelmed, and that's not the most productive way to get your excrement together.

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