Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Awakening

Ok, we're sneaking in a bit of PCOS talk in today's blog, because about the only things that've been happening in my life of late are directly connected to that, so...

Got knocked on my arse hard this past weekend by chronic fatigue/depression that I can only assume was caused by diet and hormones. Had a weekend that was punctuated by zero self-esteem, 4-hour naps, and lousy eating habits. Didn't begin to get a clear head until about 11 a.m. Monday. Thank goodness I played hookey. Cleaned the kitchen with Husby, sorted laundry and did some fresh stashing of all our displaced clothes, cleared off my coffee table and wing chair, and walked to the store to get paper towels and trash bags. That walk really helped too, just getting outside and breathing a little fresh air. We're talking probably less than a mile round-trip, but it felt so good. What's sad but motivating is how achy I am today, even after stretching a bit last night.

For some reason, this time, something's clicked. It helped that I just got done reading the ridiculously over-the-top (I hope!) propaganda on the PETA website, thereby turning me off to most meat products for a while. But it was something else too; I mean you can tell yourself til you're blue in the face that you really shouldn't eat that piece of cake right before going to sleep, but your behavior's not going to change until you're absolutely ready for it to do so. Somewhere between Sunday night and Monday morning, I think it did. Yesterday was a good food day. I can tell by the way my body's rallying. There's no way I can cold turkey red meat, but I'm much more cognizant of what I'm eating all of a sudden.

Had another motivator just this morning on the Harlot's website. This past weekend, she and Joe piled the kids into a rental van and went north for some serious skating. I mean, serious skating - there's this canal somewhere in Ontario that markets itself as the world's largest skating rink in the wintertime. 15 km top to bottom. That's about 9.3 miles for those of us in the lower 48. I can't imagine skating that far, makes my quads hurt just thinking about it. But all I could really think about, with her beautiful pictures, is how exhilarating that must've been and how terrific it is to have kids who're in shape to do that type of activity with only minimal whining. I want that for my family. I want to take them for outdoor activities 10, 15 years from now and have all of us actually in the proper shape to enjoy it. I want healthy in my life.

In other news, I still haven't picked up needles in about 3 weeks now...that worries me a bit, but I'm enjoying some library books at present too. I'm thinking of ripping out the pie-wedge and starting the Petunia bag instead from the latest issue of Interweave.

And send positive energy the way of my Lil Bro please...poor bastard blew out his Achilles tendon last Thursday playing basketball, so he's got a long road of recovery ahead of him. He goes under the knife this Friday to repair it, which is followed by about 10 days of watching for blood clots and infection (yuck!). This has to have hit him hard, but he's handling it like the new Cyril would. I suppose it's insulting to him to be surprised, but we're talking about an injury with significant pain attached. It happened Thursday night, and when I inquired about his condition to Mom on Friday, she tells me he's got his doctor's appointment that afternoon, so he went to work in the morning. On Mom's old crutches! Then that night, I call to check on him, and he's not home because he's at practice - he coaches a church youth basketball league. I think he's trying for an outlook that's half Wayne Dyer, half Army: Everything happens for a reason, so drink water, drive on, private! I'm so damn proud I swear it emanates from me like neon when I think about him. I'm baking him cookies later this week.

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