Monday, March 12, 2012

No more excuses?

I completely adore this laptop skin, and it's not even "me".

They announced the new manager of my work team. Emotions are mixed.

Actually, emotions are full-on annoyed...mostly with myself. I made the mistake of watching the 2nd half of the Brooke Ellison story (curse you, Lifetime channel, when there's nothing else on!)...and am feeling very held-back. You can't watch movies like that when you're already feeling like you're not accomplishing enough in your life. It must've been a theme for the day, because before that, they had played the Liz Murray story, which I've watched more than once, both for the excellent acting and the hopeful story. Liz Murray managed to finish high school at Bronx Science while homeless and was later accepted to Harvard. Brooke Ellison became a quadraplegic at age 11 and with the help of unyielding family support, graduated summa from Harvard and is currently working on her Ph.D.

I can't begrudge my current career. Its "safety/stability" were necessary for the particular time in our lives. But how much am I giving up if I continue playing it safe? And what the hell do I really want to do with my life? And am I letting the things that are holding me back become excuses not to push harder to achieve those dreams?

So this week will be spent looking at the move, our lives, what kind of schooling Les might be interested in (in relation to where I want us to move), what kind of schooling I'm interested in, and how we can make all that happen. It really pisses me off how shut out we are from opportunities, just because we've learned to pay cash for stuff. Our credit hasn't suffered the last couple of years; it's flatlined...and building it back up is a royal bitch. But it's going to have to happen, because I'm realizing I absolutely want back into school too, that the dreams I have in mind require it.

I removed myself from the Independence Days Challenge for now. It's just not happening.

Yesterday was a rather delicious puttering-around day. As I woke up in the morning, got coffee, woke up my brain with the Kindle and the Sunday L&Os, I realized I had zero desire to go outside...that I needed to stay in my PJs and get small things done around the house. So I did, and I'm better for it today.

Image from here.

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