Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Taking Stock

There's a saying that the Christians lean on in times of crisis: God never sends you more than you can bear. I wonder.

As of this post, Dad J is probably spending Thanksgiving in the hospital. The latest chemo is shredding him.

I had two epiphanies in the last half hour. One is that there really oughta be a 10-year gap between any parental units leaving us. Dad J's not dying, per se; thanks to modern medicine, he could be with us another couple of decades...we just don't know. But even with 4½ years having passed since my dad went ethereal, I'm still gonna be pulling from my reserves to be strong for Les during this time. You don't get over a parent dying, you learn to live with it. It still sneaks up and knocks my wind out. I always joke that I'm superwoman, working a full-time job, supporting us both, above and beyond is my middle name. It's why I try so mightily to take care of me, because I don't mind being that strong and don't want anything to interfere with my ability to be it. But damn.....the bravado gets rocked sometimes.

The other epiphany is that I simply can't let the next lease be the goal for us moving. We need to be up there now. Les needs as much time with his dad as possible, and our credit is just gonna have to suck it, because I'm getting serious about the move. I've targeted Spartanburg for its small-town appeal, mountains, proximity to both families.....just gotta find work. I get that that ain't exactly easy in this economy, but fuckit, it's gonna happen.

Outside: supposed to drop tonight, thank goodness

Inside: i'm at work, whaddayou think...

Wearing: Thanksgiving outfit: beige slacks, brown shoes, green top, excellent autumny necklace with a big-assed maple leaf at the center.....

Reading: Spartanburg Visitors Guide

Creating: sock

Going: SC, probably Friday

Hoping: anybody who reads this says a prayer for Dad J.

Hug your families. Happy Thanksgiving!

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