Thursday, June 16, 2011

Rays of hope

Pretty, isn't it? I dream of a 2nd room in a house, that works as an office and guest room. I'd love a daybed for lounging, with lots of handmade pillows...

Yesterday was the worst yet, hence my truncated stock taking. The news was bad, and it was forcing a mindset that brought back memories of 2007. I'm able to process bad information quite easily now, put it into categories in my head, but it still makes for a very black mood.

Yesterday, my FIL's cancer was given a name, and his liver was failing. They blasted his body with a chemo cocktail, and we all prayed. I've watched organs fail, so there are still questions in my head (about the toxins that are still floating around in his body thanks to the liver failing), but the upshot is that we've been given a quick reprieve. His numbers improved significantly in 24 hours, and he was sent home today. He's not being sent home to die; he's being sent home to continue living. They may dose him again next week, or they'll revisit his chemo regimen in 3 weeks. My thanks to everyone who lit a candle physically or in their heads for Les Jr., because someone's listening out there...

The family drama continues on other fronts...there's one family member who I think hasn't fully grasped at all the gravity of the situation, but there's probably not a whole lot of sense in trying to illuminate her. She and her cohort don't think or act rationally, and some fights aren't worth the effort.

I was adrift yesterday, trying to be strong, but exhaustion took hold and I napped as soon as I got home from work. It was just what I needed; I woke up semi-refreshed, and was able to putter with a clearer head. Then around 10 p.m., TV wasn't cutting it, so I went to the kitchen and knocked out the rest of the dishes. It's mind-blowing how such a simple thing puts me in the right place.

I'll head to SC early Saturday morning to visit and help out. Hoping to bring Les home for now, but it's in the maybe column. The difficult family member resents vehemently his being there, so it may be better for family tranquility if he comes back home, but we'll see...he's there for Mom and Dad, not for her, so she can get the hell over it as far as we're concerned. I ache to smack sense into her, but know that wouldn't do any good either...

Saw a good quote today, the gist of it being that the only thing that makes something a part of your life is your willingness to continue thinking about it. An excellent reminder that things that are beyond your control don't deserve your attention. Life's so damn short.

Image from here.

No comments: