Thursday, March 10, 2011

Taking Stock

"Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday..."
~ Diddy, Dirty Money

Doing SO much better today.

Not sure, but I think I may have gone through all 5 stages of grief in one fell swoop...since I didn't know her personally, only through Lil Sis, had only met her a handful of times, what was striking me most was just how young she was and how random her death seemed. That kind of death terrifies me, sets me into an existential frenzy about how I'm not doing enough with my life. To wake up one morning and have your body shut down that day...seems strange that I glean how short life is from her death; where were these feelings when Dad passed? Losing Dad was a whole different animal though...

I woke up this morning, rested and motivated, even though I didn't do half the stuff I wrote about yesterday. I needed to shut the brain down last night, and I found that I couldn't concentrate on the magazine articles; nothing was getting in, so I just skimmed stuff. Back to Y tonight.

Outside: Dreary...don't mind it though, cuz it's keeping the temps moderate.

Inside: Quiet so far...hope it stays that way.

Wearing: jeans, Docs, purple and green pinstriped blouse with pink T underneath.

Reading: the latest Tricycle, Shambhala Sun, and Yoga for Beginners—Volume I (newstand only apparently...weird). Also Deja Dead, by Kathy Reichs.

Creating: holding pattern here...we'll see what the weekend brings.

Going: memorial for Alli on Saturday, otherwise, working at home.

Image from here.

1 comment:

Chiot's Run said...

The shock of knowing someone young who's life was cut too short can be hard. My best friend's husband was killed by a drunk driver 6 years ago and it was definitely tough. I knew her husband, but I think I grieved more for my friend and her pain.

Glad you're feeling better today! Moments like that make me realize that I need to savor every moment!