Still a witch

It's nice to discover, by studying other philosophies, that one in particular still speaks volumes to you. I've been a lapsed witch for awhile now, haven't done a sabbat ritual in ages, rarely noted anything astrological, couldn't be bothered with whether or not mercury was in retrograde. But I've been reading about life in a Zen monastery, and suddenly I'm very much in the mood for Starhawk's The Fifth Sacred Thing. Zenners would call that the ole monkey mind pushing me away from being present; I think I call it my true faith giving me a nudge. Still studying Buddhism, their precepts definitely speak to me; but I'm being pulled in another direction that feels more like coming home.

Plus, I just don't have enough of an existential mind for some of their thinking...was listening to a lecture about self and consciousness, where the lecturer was posed the question at the end as to whether or not we can believe that we just heard a 1-hour lecture from the guy sitting in the chair because we have the language for the words, like lecture or chair, or whether we're supposed to suspend what we think we know as reality...I've never been one for that "tree falls in an empty forest" stuff; I was always like, "of course, it still makes a sound! I mean, somebody's tympanic membrane has to have vibrated somewhere!" I guess I'm just not open enough. Pretty sure I'm ok with that. Still, I can tell that living more in the present can only be a good thing for someone like me, so I'm still studying, still searching.

So I picked up The Pagan Book of Living & Dying today...spent quite a few moments talking to Dad yesterday. I'm pretty sure it had to do, not-so-subconsciously, with the fact that I made pancakes yesterday morning using the family griddle for the first time. It's an electric griddle with a drip pan that I'm pretty sure dates back to Above All (1981-1985). That sucker's still in great shape, heats fast, and makes great pancakes...looking forward to doing bacon on it too. But of course, it struck a chord somewhere, and my hormonal self had the wind knocked out of me again.

At least I've got that newly hatched Monday feeling, instead of the "gee, it's craptastic being at work" Monday feeling. I'll do some dreaming and planning in between websites, so the day doesn't feel so grueling.