More Notes to Self

Seriously the most important note in my life.....

STOP GOING OFF YOUR F*ING PAXIL ON A WHIM!

Thanks the gods I didn't have my interview yesterday! Between the girdle and my brain being 2 days clean of that lovely med that metabolizes in my system like food through my Lil Bro (dude can eat anything, energy of a hummingbird, the bastard)...I was not in a good place yesterday. Kept blaming it on the girdle when I was winded just walking down the hallways at work, but it was a side effect of being off the damn med...could hardly catch my breath all day. I caved in on myself pretty hard as the day wore on, and was useless yesterday evening. Hit the sack at a decent hour, and am feeling more like myself today. It helps that I got paid a seriously decent check today, treated myself to Starbucks, and took my medication like a good girl. But seriously, what a f*ing idiot I am...I mean, even if I am pregnant, even if I do take the damn Paxil straight through my pregnancy, and breastfeed while on it, even with all those factors in play (never mind that I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I'M PREGNANT YET!!), the plain truth is a) the potential small person will have zero memory of any pain of withdrawal (because I don't see myself breastfeeding more than a year or so) and shouldn't suffer any long-lasting ill effects, so b) he/she won't be scarred by it in any way. There's like, no trade-off here, no logical reason at all why I should stop taking the damn med. So I pledge here that I ain't gonna pull that crap anymore!

P.S. Funny thing about the girdle...I haven't had to wear skirts in ages, so I completely forgot that I had started wearing bike shorts under my skirts because I knew the girdle had gotten too small, but I was too cheap to buy another one and needed something to prevent chafing...I swear the gods gave us women short-term memory issues so we'd be able to procreate the species more than once without the ole roadblock of "oh yeah, this hurt a little last time, didn't it?"

Ok, enough self-flagellation...gotta work some OT this weekend, and the rest of it will be spent taking care of me while simultaneously obsessing about going to the recycling place, tidying the apartment, getting some planting started, knitting stuff...in other words, the usual.

Happy Friday, y'all!