Blast! Just had this all written out and my blankety-blank dial-up connection 86d it. Let's see what I can salvage from my earlier thoughts.
First, a tangent: if instead of the death penalty, I would rather Danny Rolling live the rest of his life in prison, preferably in Gen Pop being butt-surfed on a daily basis by an extremely large inmate who goes by the name of Shirley, then is my personal humanity any better off?
So I'm a bit prolific today. The lack of Paxil in my system has my mind scattered and my butt dragging. I came home, turned off the brain, turned on the tube, and just vegged. 6:00 came and went. Husby's sleeping off the weekly migraine, so I'm alone with my thoughts. Never a good thing; planning to distract myself with knitting and a pedicure later.
6:27, I'm flipping around because Everwood's on commercial and I have no patience, and I happen upon my old faithful, Law & Order. Van Buren's trying to coax a confession out of a guy who murdered a woman because she was financing some fairly Mapplethorpian art. The LT's saying stuff like it was biblical justice that he enacted on the lady, an eye for an eye, and it hits me: he's probably gone. He was, at 6:13, as it turned out. And the contradiction hits me: it's illegal to murder, but it's legal to murder those who murder. How the f*ck did we manage to rationalize that into law? And all I can think is that it's wrong, that no matter how much he deserved to die, it's not for us as humans to say. We shouldn't have that level of power, and yet we've enacted it into law. In lots of states.
I'll grant you, the carnal part of me still thinks that as long as we were going to do it, we should have done it the way he murdered Christa Hoyt, with the segue of relieving him of his balls and shaft while he was still conscious, but above that is this knowledge inside of me that it's wrong and that I do believe that unequivocally. He's not special. He deserved to die, but we had no business killing him.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
A vent for humanity
At 6:00 p.m. tonight, I'll close my eyes and say a prayer for myself and for the families of the victims of Danny Rolling. He's scheduled to die by lethal injection later today. I'm glad. That's why I'm praying for myself.
It's a very tough sell, and it crops up in what has been a rather remarkable turnaround of philosophy over the last couple of years. Back in 1990, it wouldn't have even been a question. I was the secretary of the USF College Republicans, a hard-core, pro-defense, pro-death penalty conservative. To be sure, I didn't give the issues the thought they deserved back then, but I was clinging hard to a little piece of stability in my life, which was pretty solely grounded in my friendship with a certain guy and my social networking with the CR crowd. I wasn't medicated yet, and life was quite painful, so I forgive myself now for blindly following the Right the way I did.
I was a student at USF in Tampa in 1990, living on campus, so I saw and felt firsthand some of the fear that Gainesville experienced. Since it took a while for Rolling to be captured, we all lived in some fear, taking safety precautions, not going out alone at night, and such. I met students who transferred to USF from UF, either because they were in fear for their lives or because their parents had made them. A year prior, I had bunked with CRs at the Williamsburg Village apartments on a junket; the first victims were found there. You look back on things like that and enjoy a little "there but for the grace of God..." moment. Rolling was most certainly Gainesville's Bundy, and I don't recommend reading the online information that you'll find about the killings, like CourtTV's Crime Library; it's graphic and nightmare-inducing in the details of his depravity.
About half a dozen years ago, maybe more, the tide turned in my philosophical beliefs. I discovered witchcraft, Unitarian Universalism, and became a granola-eating, nuke-protesting bleeding heart liberal in the best senses of those terms. I mean, I don't even believe the US has any right to sanction or dictate limits in North Korea's arms race until we disarm ourselves. Naive, probably, but not hypocritical.
A biggie in my turnaround is my opposition to the death penalty; I see it as a detractor in our humanity and an act that only brings us to the level of the criminal. It's not a deterrant, and it lessens the human race every time we strap somebody in for it. The fact that Florida retired Old Sparky means nothing; it's still an eye for an eye at the expense of mankind. Like I said, this is a vent.
But Danny Rolling? That crazy sonofabitch didn't even bother to mount a psych defense. Heh, contradiction in terms...oh, he talked of multiple personalities at times and tried to string together a nut persona that turned out to be cribbed from Exorcist II, but before the lawyers could even start posturing, he changed his plea to guilty and admitted that he murdered the Gainesville 5. He wasn't devious or calculating like Bundy, spinning stories left and right to keep himself from the needle. He admitted it. Period. Felt like it, wanted to make a name for himself, no remorse. From there, the lawyers doing the appeals dance was academic, an exercise for Con. Law class.
Maybe I can't change my mind on him because I was stupid and morbidly curious enough to read the true crime websites about the crime scenes and the mutilations awhile back. Maybe I'm clinging to some 15-year-old fear. All I know is I'm still against the death penalty, and I'll be happy and relieved come 6:01 tonight. And it doesn't feel contradictory.
It's a very tough sell, and it crops up in what has been a rather remarkable turnaround of philosophy over the last couple of years. Back in 1990, it wouldn't have even been a question. I was the secretary of the USF College Republicans, a hard-core, pro-defense, pro-death penalty conservative. To be sure, I didn't give the issues the thought they deserved back then, but I was clinging hard to a little piece of stability in my life, which was pretty solely grounded in my friendship with a certain guy and my social networking with the CR crowd. I wasn't medicated yet, and life was quite painful, so I forgive myself now for blindly following the Right the way I did.
I was a student at USF in Tampa in 1990, living on campus, so I saw and felt firsthand some of the fear that Gainesville experienced. Since it took a while for Rolling to be captured, we all lived in some fear, taking safety precautions, not going out alone at night, and such. I met students who transferred to USF from UF, either because they were in fear for their lives or because their parents had made them. A year prior, I had bunked with CRs at the Williamsburg Village apartments on a junket; the first victims were found there. You look back on things like that and enjoy a little "there but for the grace of God..." moment. Rolling was most certainly Gainesville's Bundy, and I don't recommend reading the online information that you'll find about the killings, like CourtTV's Crime Library; it's graphic and nightmare-inducing in the details of his depravity.
About half a dozen years ago, maybe more, the tide turned in my philosophical beliefs. I discovered witchcraft, Unitarian Universalism, and became a granola-eating, nuke-protesting bleeding heart liberal in the best senses of those terms. I mean, I don't even believe the US has any right to sanction or dictate limits in North Korea's arms race until we disarm ourselves. Naive, probably, but not hypocritical.
A biggie in my turnaround is my opposition to the death penalty; I see it as a detractor in our humanity and an act that only brings us to the level of the criminal. It's not a deterrant, and it lessens the human race every time we strap somebody in for it. The fact that Florida retired Old Sparky means nothing; it's still an eye for an eye at the expense of mankind. Like I said, this is a vent.
But Danny Rolling? That crazy sonofabitch didn't even bother to mount a psych defense. Heh, contradiction in terms...oh, he talked of multiple personalities at times and tried to string together a nut persona that turned out to be cribbed from Exorcist II, but before the lawyers could even start posturing, he changed his plea to guilty and admitted that he murdered the Gainesville 5. He wasn't devious or calculating like Bundy, spinning stories left and right to keep himself from the needle. He admitted it. Period. Felt like it, wanted to make a name for himself, no remorse. From there, the lawyers doing the appeals dance was academic, an exercise for Con. Law class.
Maybe I can't change my mind on him because I was stupid and morbidly curious enough to read the true crime websites about the crime scenes and the mutilations awhile back. Maybe I'm clinging to some 15-year-old fear. All I know is I'm still against the death penalty, and I'll be happy and relieved come 6:01 tonight. And it doesn't feel contradictory.
Maybe next year...
So the Avon walk didn't exactly happen :( I didn't raise enough money to walk, and I wasn't in any position to potentially put myself in debt while I tried to raise it, so I bailed and volunteered instead. We drove up Friday with a detour at the inlaws, then I went the rest of the way to Charlotte. Got up at the crack on Saturday and jumped in, organizing paperwork for them, making signs for the cheering stations, loading up trucks with water and gatorade for the rest stops. The crew folks do the heavy lifting and the driving of sweep vans and stuff, though I could've helped pitch tents and stuff, but we were planning to get another look at Columbia on Sunday, so I bailed. I will do more of these, and I'll damn sure be in better shape and not go at them so half-assed in the future. The cause didn't deserve the way I slapped it together this time.
It was a good trip from several angles though; the weather was absolutely incredible, I had some wake-up calls, and we both had an unfortunate big one...Les's grandma is reneging on her promise to help with his teeth. It makes me livid to think about it, and I won't air the family's dirty laundry here...suffice it to say it's got me really motivated to get him into dentures. Cheapies, dental college work, anything. Especially after yesterday...I went to the dentist myself to get a double cavity issue taken care of, one that was near the front and had spent the last 2 years working itself into a nice big black hole. My dentist did an amazing job; there's like, no way to tell that there's fillings there! I feel tons better, self-image wise....just gotta shave 100 pounds off my ass and I'll be a new woman. But seriously folks...that was a wake-up call too, because I know no one likes time in the dentist chair, but it's like, seriously motivating me. My teeth have gotten way sensitive in recent years, and I have a real issue with the iron hook, as I call it. I swear she did more scraping away at the decay yesterday than drilling, and it drove me up about three walls. It is a shivers-down-my-spine, fingernails-on-a-blackboard issue for me; I really can't stand it. I have 1 fresh cavity and 3 old fillings to take care of, and then I don't want to have to be in one of those chairs for anything other than cleanings for a very long time. I went out right after the appointment yesterday and bought fresh floss, a mouth guard (I'm a night grinder), and a nifty gum brush, because they keep talking root planing at me and that's another something I have no desire to investigate further. ::shudders::
Finished the cheater fingerless gloves this past weekend; they're so easy I may have to make several pairs in different colors...I was kicking myself for not having something this morning - it was frickin' 40 degrees out! Washed the soaker and it is SO soft, but didn't shrink much, so will still fit a toddler. Turned the Harlot scarf into a Harlot washcloth (lacking patience lately...tried a leafy lace scarf pattern this weekend too, and didn't get past the 2nd batch of rows), and started a new basic rib scarf with the dark grey Wool Ease T & Q. That one's gonna be soft and warm! Started another hat last night...the dark grey hat didn't come out nearly the way I wanted it to...I'm ticked that it wasn't knitted in the round because I'd really like to pull the whole thing out and start from scratch. I'm focusing on wintery projects for me only right now, with the possible exception of a pair of Pippi Longstockings for my younger sisinlaw, because she expressed interest in something like that when I was showing off my Thujas up there (which incidentally aren't going to last, I can tell, because of the shitty yarn I used...already found a spot that needs darning...live and learn).
Random stuff:
Les and I are going to start walking in the evenings. I caught a side glance of myself in a glass door this weekend that's still haunting me, never mind that my hormones are outta whack again, and that Wellbutrin is a bastard stepchild of antidepressants. Never thought I'd miss Paxil as much as I do, but I'm determined to stay off of it until my unborn, unconceived small person detaches from the boob.
Can anyone tell me what the f*ck happened to our Jaguars this past weekend? I am so glad I was out of the area and couldn't watch that fiasco.
It was a good trip from several angles though; the weather was absolutely incredible, I had some wake-up calls, and we both had an unfortunate big one...Les's grandma is reneging on her promise to help with his teeth. It makes me livid to think about it, and I won't air the family's dirty laundry here...suffice it to say it's got me really motivated to get him into dentures. Cheapies, dental college work, anything. Especially after yesterday...I went to the dentist myself to get a double cavity issue taken care of, one that was near the front and had spent the last 2 years working itself into a nice big black hole. My dentist did an amazing job; there's like, no way to tell that there's fillings there! I feel tons better, self-image wise....just gotta shave 100 pounds off my ass and I'll be a new woman. But seriously folks...that was a wake-up call too, because I know no one likes time in the dentist chair, but it's like, seriously motivating me. My teeth have gotten way sensitive in recent years, and I have a real issue with the iron hook, as I call it. I swear she did more scraping away at the decay yesterday than drilling, and it drove me up about three walls. It is a shivers-down-my-spine, fingernails-on-a-blackboard issue for me; I really can't stand it. I have 1 fresh cavity and 3 old fillings to take care of, and then I don't want to have to be in one of those chairs for anything other than cleanings for a very long time. I went out right after the appointment yesterday and bought fresh floss, a mouth guard (I'm a night grinder), and a nifty gum brush, because they keep talking root planing at me and that's another something I have no desire to investigate further. ::shudders::
Finished the cheater fingerless gloves this past weekend; they're so easy I may have to make several pairs in different colors...I was kicking myself for not having something this morning - it was frickin' 40 degrees out! Washed the soaker and it is SO soft, but didn't shrink much, so will still fit a toddler. Turned the Harlot scarf into a Harlot washcloth (lacking patience lately...tried a leafy lace scarf pattern this weekend too, and didn't get past the 2nd batch of rows), and started a new basic rib scarf with the dark grey Wool Ease T & Q. That one's gonna be soft and warm! Started another hat last night...the dark grey hat didn't come out nearly the way I wanted it to...I'm ticked that it wasn't knitted in the round because I'd really like to pull the whole thing out and start from scratch. I'm focusing on wintery projects for me only right now, with the possible exception of a pair of Pippi Longstockings for my younger sisinlaw, because she expressed interest in something like that when I was showing off my Thujas up there (which incidentally aren't going to last, I can tell, because of the shitty yarn I used...already found a spot that needs darning...live and learn).
Random stuff:
Les and I are going to start walking in the evenings. I caught a side glance of myself in a glass door this weekend that's still haunting me, never mind that my hormones are outta whack again, and that Wellbutrin is a bastard stepchild of antidepressants. Never thought I'd miss Paxil as much as I do, but I'm determined to stay off of it until my unborn, unconceived small person detaches from the boob.
Can anyone tell me what the f*ck happened to our Jaguars this past weekend? I am so glad I was out of the area and couldn't watch that fiasco.
Monday, October 16, 2006
Random website editing funny.....
Had a site this morning with the company name:
Where Happy Endings Begin
I figured it was a massage parlor, but it turned out they were bird breeders.
I have a dirty mind >:)
Where Happy Endings Begin
I figured it was a massage parlor, but it turned out they were bird breeders.
I have a dirty mind >:)
Monday. Blah.
Overcast, but cool. No rain scheduled. In other words, blah.
But that's kind of how this Monday's starting out. Sucky to start a week with abyssmal self-image and body loathing, but it's there, along with the extra pounds back that I had lost when I went off the lithium. Now I'm back on it and it's there, in my belly. Once you reach a certain weight, you figure you can't feel any worse, but just those few extra pounds bring on new and aggravating symptoms, like lower back pain and exhaustion. When you're used to thinking of yourself, your body, as normal in spite of evidence to the contrary, these shortcomings can be quite frustrating. Yesterday was a domestic day for me: I handwashed our delicates because we're low on $ and made 4 loaves of bread, and was so frickin' exhausted at the end of the day, you'd have thought I'd walked 10 miles!
Ok, self-pity party over.
It was a Grey's Anatomy weekend as well. I got the 2nd season DVD for my birthday, and plowed through most of it this weekend.
Finished the soaker, though I'll definitely modify the pattern before trying it again—that sucker came out HUGE! Since it's all wool, it'd probably shrink up quite a bit in the wash, but I'll believe it when I see it. Also finished the first fingerless mitt and started the 2nd. Started a new wrap with the purple Homespun, but I can already tell that it's going to get frogged and stashed in the bottom of a box for a while—I just don't have the patience for Homespun right now. Did like, 1 row on the cape. ruthee mentioned trying to get a particular project done by New Year's, so that you don't go into '07 with it still a UFO. I think I need to set that as a goal for myself with the SSS and the cape—the SSS because it's an albatross in training, and the cape because if I don't, I won't be wearing it until next winter.
Inherited a ball of lavender-something from our local stash-buster Dana, which I started the Yarn Harlot's scarf with on Sunday as well. What a fun, yet simple pattern!
But that's kind of how this Monday's starting out. Sucky to start a week with abyssmal self-image and body loathing, but it's there, along with the extra pounds back that I had lost when I went off the lithium. Now I'm back on it and it's there, in my belly. Once you reach a certain weight, you figure you can't feel any worse, but just those few extra pounds bring on new and aggravating symptoms, like lower back pain and exhaustion. When you're used to thinking of yourself, your body, as normal in spite of evidence to the contrary, these shortcomings can be quite frustrating. Yesterday was a domestic day for me: I handwashed our delicates because we're low on $ and made 4 loaves of bread, and was so frickin' exhausted at the end of the day, you'd have thought I'd walked 10 miles!
Ok, self-pity party over.
It was a Grey's Anatomy weekend as well. I got the 2nd season DVD for my birthday, and plowed through most of it this weekend.
Finished the soaker, though I'll definitely modify the pattern before trying it again—that sucker came out HUGE! Since it's all wool, it'd probably shrink up quite a bit in the wash, but I'll believe it when I see it. Also finished the first fingerless mitt and started the 2nd. Started a new wrap with the purple Homespun, but I can already tell that it's going to get frogged and stashed in the bottom of a box for a while—I just don't have the patience for Homespun right now. Did like, 1 row on the cape. ruthee mentioned trying to get a particular project done by New Year's, so that you don't go into '07 with it still a UFO. I think I need to set that as a goal for myself with the SSS and the cape—the SSS because it's an albatross in training, and the cape because if I don't, I won't be wearing it until next winter.
Inherited a ball of lavender-something from our local stash-buster Dana, which I started the Yarn Harlot's scarf with on Sunday as well. What a fun, yet simple pattern!
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Average week
My god, that shot was taken in Marietta, GA (www.webshots.com)! I didn't know the South produced color like that.
Not getting a whole lot accomplished this week. Avon Walk's in a holding pattern. I turned in letters to my CEO and CFO for donations from the company, but that could take a while. I'll be a tad irked if I decide not to walk and it turns out that my company fronts me enough dough where I could have, but somehow I doubt that's going to happen. And besides, I'm going to volunteer when walking falls through, so .....
Been working late and feeling scattered in the evenings...looking forward to the weekend and getting some cleaning done. Never aired the place out, so if the temps stay bearable, that's definitely getting done, because the apartment's starting to feel like an ashtray.
Decided to frog two projects this week. I started Villa, heck, probably a year ago, but it's straight garter stitch and very boring as a result, never mind that I thought about it this week and concluded that I have no business making anything that remotely resembles a poncho, because it'll be the polar opposite of flattering on my body. I found a Lion Brand pattern for a wrap that may be better. I'm in the middle of a real love-hate relationship with Lion Brand Homespun...it's 100% acrylic, which I'm presently loathing everywhere I look, because I'm going through a serious Waldork-natural living phase, never mind that Homespun is a very subtle shedder...you won't see strands around you, just all of a sudden you'll have them in your mouth. Weird. But I pulled out my Triangle Homespun shawl this week to wear at work, and when I put it around my shoulders, all I could think was: OHHHH!! SOFT!! So I'll probably frog Villa tonight at KB; didn't get to it last night. Last night I caught up on Tuesday tapes, watched Eps 3 & 4 of Grey's (got the 2nd season DVD for late b'day from Mom!), and frogged the other sock I had started, and started a cheat's fingerless mitts pattern (really easy, no thumb gusseting or anything).
Mom got her hands on tickets to Garrison Keillor Tuesday, so Les and I went. It was delightful! Really good seats and lots of laughter, and man, can he spin a story! It starts to sound like the old joke about the family coming home from vacation....
What happened while we were gone?
Well, the dog died...
How'd the dog die?
From eating the burnt horsemeat....
Where'd the burnt horsemeat come from?
From when the barn burned down....
How'd the barn burn down?
Well, we think it was the sparks from the house...
And so on...was also delighted to discover that The View from Mrs. Sundberg's Window is back on the Prairie Home website. Mrs. Sundberg is a fictional woman who listens to Prairie Home Companion on Saturdays amid the distractions of her husband and kids. It's fantastic writing, but she stopped for about a year, I'm assuming because her creator was buried in getting his show made into a movie. Read the archives sometime; they take you outside of yourself for a spell, and there's some great recipes to boot. Can't wait to try the Chocolate-Cherry cookies this holiday season!
Monday, October 09, 2006
Update
Let's see.....what's going on in Melanie's world?
I made over $200 at the bake sale, and I'm asking my company today for a donation, as well as getting the word out to the suits upstairs who didn't necessarily catch on about the bake sale. If I actually manage to pull off the minimum, I'll still go. I ain't ready physically, but I'm past caring. There's actually a chance I'll make the minimum, so my mindset's changed.
The weather's turning still, cool in the mornings. It catches you by surprise.
Visited with Christy this past Saturday; it was so good to see her! She's my best friend from grammar school, we met in the 6th grade and have hung onto each other ever since. It's tough to keep close to a friend when you live in different states, but she's been in St. Augustine for the past 2 years, so neither of us have an excuse for the occasional rifts or gaps in communication. Plus she's become a born-again Christian during that time, and I've become a witch, so it makes philosophy an artful, dodging dance where conversation is concerned. She's about to go back to her partner after an almost 3-year separation, and I just pray he treats her right. He's 20 years older than us, and a bit of a clueless, consummate male where sensitivity is concerned. She'll go back to NY this week, visit SA again for a week in November, and then stay in NY at least through tax season. He's a CPA and she manages the office.
Anyway, she recently found a hobby, which turned into a passion: making jewelry. She calls it beading, but it's not—we're talking real stonework here, beautiful pieces that were obviously made with care, and she has an excellent eye for color. She held her second show on Saturday, and it was a really impressive display of necklaces, bracelets, and earrings. I bought a bracelet, and she gave me a necklace that I'm going to have to find a way to pay her for, because she was trying to retail it for $100. The necklace is kyanite, sodalite, moonstone, and blue lapis, and the bracelet is tiger's eye, jade, and tree agate. I'm just getting such good vibes off of them! I'm wearing the necklace and feeling quite pretty :) I can tell she's spooked about expanding it as a business too fast, but I did offer to create a website for her down the road. It's the kind of stuff that the NYC/West Palm Beach crowd would go apeshit over...she made a couple hundred bucks just from the handful of people that stopped by Saturday, so there's definite potential.
I finished those socks and treaded water for a week, not doing much knitting other than a skein on the soaker. Yesterday it dawned on me how great the new necklace would go with the sweater I started a while back, so I pulled it out, worked 3 rows on the sleeve, and then promptly started a hat instead. Damn fickle.
And I got my hairs cut, though barely so's you'd notice. The girl shagged more layers into it, using the razor cutter and that scissors that looks like a comb on one end that actually does a partial cut...it's just right, quite a bit lighter, probably more prone to frizz as a result but I'll learn how to tame it. It's cooperating better, and such a relief.
I made over $200 at the bake sale, and I'm asking my company today for a donation, as well as getting the word out to the suits upstairs who didn't necessarily catch on about the bake sale. If I actually manage to pull off the minimum, I'll still go. I ain't ready physically, but I'm past caring. There's actually a chance I'll make the minimum, so my mindset's changed.
The weather's turning still, cool in the mornings. It catches you by surprise.
Visited with Christy this past Saturday; it was so good to see her! She's my best friend from grammar school, we met in the 6th grade and have hung onto each other ever since. It's tough to keep close to a friend when you live in different states, but she's been in St. Augustine for the past 2 years, so neither of us have an excuse for the occasional rifts or gaps in communication. Plus she's become a born-again Christian during that time, and I've become a witch, so it makes philosophy an artful, dodging dance where conversation is concerned. She's about to go back to her partner after an almost 3-year separation, and I just pray he treats her right. He's 20 years older than us, and a bit of a clueless, consummate male where sensitivity is concerned. She'll go back to NY this week, visit SA again for a week in November, and then stay in NY at least through tax season. He's a CPA and she manages the office.
Anyway, she recently found a hobby, which turned into a passion: making jewelry. She calls it beading, but it's not—we're talking real stonework here, beautiful pieces that were obviously made with care, and she has an excellent eye for color. She held her second show on Saturday, and it was a really impressive display of necklaces, bracelets, and earrings. I bought a bracelet, and she gave me a necklace that I'm going to have to find a way to pay her for, because she was trying to retail it for $100. The necklace is kyanite, sodalite, moonstone, and blue lapis, and the bracelet is tiger's eye, jade, and tree agate. I'm just getting such good vibes off of them! I'm wearing the necklace and feeling quite pretty :) I can tell she's spooked about expanding it as a business too fast, but I did offer to create a website for her down the road. It's the kind of stuff that the NYC/West Palm Beach crowd would go apeshit over...she made a couple hundred bucks just from the handful of people that stopped by Saturday, so there's definite potential.
I finished those socks and treaded water for a week, not doing much knitting other than a skein on the soaker. Yesterday it dawned on me how great the new necklace would go with the sweater I started a while back, so I pulled it out, worked 3 rows on the sleeve, and then promptly started a hat instead. Damn fickle.
And I got my hairs cut, though barely so's you'd notice. The girl shagged more layers into it, using the razor cutter and that scissors that looks like a comb on one end that actually does a partial cut...it's just right, quite a bit lighter, probably more prone to frizz as a result but I'll learn how to tame it. It's cooperating better, and such a relief.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Accomplishment
I finished my first pair of socks. What a neat feeling! I haven't blocked them yet, not that that'll make much of a difference with the amount of acrylic in the yarn, and they pretty much look like a before-and-after set, because I followed the pattern much more closely on the 2nd one and actually performed proper grafting on the toe, but they're delightfully imperfect and entirely handmade. Very cool!
Broke my first string on my guitar. Wah!
Bake sale tomorrow...I'm making snickerdoodles and pumpkin bread tonight.
I need to do some reckoning this weekend. I haven't lost any weight and I need to. There's things I need to be planning, and now that we have a decent computer, I can put stuff in order in there and hopefully it won't crash around my head so willy-nilly. I'm still too damn tired around the edges, which only aggravates the restlessness in my head. If I want things to be different so badly, it's time to be initiating the necessary changes to facilitate that. God, who talks like that?
Foodie Farm Girl is taking a break from blogging, because she lives in BF Missouri and it's taking her 2 hours a day to upload simple photos on her dial-up connection. Boy, do I feel her pain. We need to investigate if it'd cost us anything to upgrade to something faster while we're on the 6-months free AOL, because I am so over dial-up. Anyway, think I'll start reading her sites from the beginning in the interim; she's got some great recipes and ideas in there.
There's a Colonial Folk Arts & Crafts Festival in St. Augie this weekend...sounds neat, but haven't decided if I'm going. May depend on gas, but at the same time, I'd like to drag husby out for it; we haven't done anything like that in a while and it'd be nice to just wander the streets checking out exhibits, window shopping, and holding hands.
I ache to get my hair cut, but I don't want to cut my hair. There's a comfort factor attached to hair as it grows longer, but at the same time, I know I'm in a mindset of needing a bunch less of the stuff for now. I'm in a hat-wearing and hat-knitting mood, and long hair and hats just don't cooperate. I'm fickle as hell about it, but the idea's been bouncing around in my head long enough to indicate it's not quite just a phase, so we'll see...probably can't spare the dough for another 2 weeks anyway, not that that's ever stopped me.
Ever tried Eggos with peanut butter? It's my breakfast staple; I highly recommend it.
Broke my first string on my guitar. Wah!
Bake sale tomorrow...I'm making snickerdoodles and pumpkin bread tonight.
I need to do some reckoning this weekend. I haven't lost any weight and I need to. There's things I need to be planning, and now that we have a decent computer, I can put stuff in order in there and hopefully it won't crash around my head so willy-nilly. I'm still too damn tired around the edges, which only aggravates the restlessness in my head. If I want things to be different so badly, it's time to be initiating the necessary changes to facilitate that. God, who talks like that?
Foodie Farm Girl is taking a break from blogging, because she lives in BF Missouri and it's taking her 2 hours a day to upload simple photos on her dial-up connection. Boy, do I feel her pain. We need to investigate if it'd cost us anything to upgrade to something faster while we're on the 6-months free AOL, because I am so over dial-up. Anyway, think I'll start reading her sites from the beginning in the interim; she's got some great recipes and ideas in there.
There's a Colonial Folk Arts & Crafts Festival in St. Augie this weekend...sounds neat, but haven't decided if I'm going. May depend on gas, but at the same time, I'd like to drag husby out for it; we haven't done anything like that in a while and it'd be nice to just wander the streets checking out exhibits, window shopping, and holding hands.
I ache to get my hair cut, but I don't want to cut my hair. There's a comfort factor attached to hair as it grows longer, but at the same time, I know I'm in a mindset of needing a bunch less of the stuff for now. I'm in a hat-wearing and hat-knitting mood, and long hair and hats just don't cooperate. I'm fickle as hell about it, but the idea's been bouncing around in my head long enough to indicate it's not quite just a phase, so we'll see...probably can't spare the dough for another 2 weeks anyway, not that that's ever stopped me.
Ever tried Eggos with peanut butter? It's my breakfast staple; I highly recommend it.
Monday, October 02, 2006
October
I love October. Always have. I'm a Yankee transplant, so October for me means leaves turning and falling, the woods taking on this fantastic smell, jumping in said leaves when raked into piles, a cool snap in the air, pumpkins, apples, and other harvesty stuff. We won't get the cool snap in the air down here for a while yet, and the leaves don't change until December/January in Florida, but October sticks in my head in a northern way and buoys my spirits. I wanna make pumpkin bread and apple pies. I can't wait for Halloween.
Had a really good Sunday! Sat on my ass, caught up on stuff I'd taped last week, knitted, and sewed. I have these 2 LONG peasant skirts that I wanted to shorten, so I took off the bottom flounce on both, so now the bottom is this band of lace that makes them look prettier somehow, more feminine. Then I hand-stitched a fairly messy hem on the black flounce to make a long decorative scarf of sorts. Haven't decided what I want to do with the red flounce. Also started the heel on the 2nd Thuja; I'm going to concentrate on that one until it's done - it'll be nice to have an actual pair of socks that I knitted myself, never mind the satisfaction of actually finishing something for once. Of course, I say that, and I'll probably pick up the soaker or the other sock tonight...I'm a fairly scatty broad.
Avon Walk still up in the air. Unless I can get my company to donate like, a grand, I don't see being able to walk. Haven't given up yet; will send out fresh emails this week and draft the beg letter for my company, and the bake sale is this Friday...but also life is so painfully tight right now, that it's hard to justify the expense of going. I still need to purchase a sleeping mat, big Ziploc bags, and some other stuff, and in the meantime, the house phone is going to go dead because we can't pay the bill. So I'm letting up on myself and getting a little realistic. We'll see.....
Thursday, September 28, 2006
A very important PS
My nephew Hunter turns 6 today. He's a beautiful little boy of above-average height and intelligence with a personality masked by autism. He attends special-needs kindergarten at a public school here in Jax, which I fear won't handle his needs nearly long enough. He's already 4'1" and his mom's only 4'11", so needless to say, control will become an issue as he ages. Luckily my brother, his dad, lives in town and is putting as active a hand in as is possible. His mother and I no longer get along, so I don't see Hunter as much as I'd like, but I certainly hope to get a bunch of visits in through my Lil Bro before we move to SC.
I was learning about autism as early as the 5th grade; I remember doing a paper on it for school and being fascinated by the inability to pinpoint its causes. Not so fascinated anymore, naturally, but Hunter has taught me volumes about dealing with autistic children, and I just pray that my kids are entirely healthy when the time comes. In the meantime, I learn from watching him, and gain a better understanding of the world through his eyes.
Happy birthday, beautiful blond boy!
Right on the money, Hiro.....
So the NBC show Heroes premiered this week (and by the way, it so totally lives up to the hype - very exciting, good character development...so I can only hope that when they cancel it because they don't know what a good thing they have, they'll at least transfer it to the Sci-Fi channel). At the very end of the show, the Japanese character Hiro manages to teleport himself from Tokyo to Times Square, and upon realizing this has occurred, he pumps both arms up in the air and shouts for joy in Japanese. That's how I'm feeling today.
After 4 years of having no business behind the wheel of a car, this morning I reinstated my driver's license.
Spending life looking over your shoulder is no way to live, but sometimes it can't be helped, and when you're a one-paycheck household, it's very easy to set something like an old ticket to the side to pay something else, like electric, phone, groceries, you know, the little things...it's only through the kindness of the inlaws that I've finally been able to get this cleared up, and I'm quite grateful. Now the real test: keeping my nose clean. Thank goodness the new car has cruise control! I'm a much more defensive and diligent driver now, thanks to all that illegal driving, but I've also always been a bit of a lead foot, so believe me, the cruise control helps!
Poking along on my socks and started a soaker pattern yesterday. NO, I'm not pregnant; just caught a wild hair and found an easy pattern online that I wanted to try (for Lil Sis and any non-mommy people: a soaker is a diaper cover style popular with the cloth diaper crowd). There's such a wealth of information on cloth diapering online, and it's really easy to distinguish the good from the bad or to gauge what's actually worth the money. Even found websites selling and offering information on cloth menstrual pads, which would certainly have the average female saying ewwww, but make just as much sense as cloth diapering when you get right down to it. Something to ponder once I have a washing machine to call my own.
After 4 years of having no business behind the wheel of a car, this morning I reinstated my driver's license.
Spending life looking over your shoulder is no way to live, but sometimes it can't be helped, and when you're a one-paycheck household, it's very easy to set something like an old ticket to the side to pay something else, like electric, phone, groceries, you know, the little things...it's only through the kindness of the inlaws that I've finally been able to get this cleared up, and I'm quite grateful. Now the real test: keeping my nose clean. Thank goodness the new car has cruise control! I'm a much more defensive and diligent driver now, thanks to all that illegal driving, but I've also always been a bit of a lead foot, so believe me, the cruise control helps!
Poking along on my socks and started a soaker pattern yesterday. NO, I'm not pregnant; just caught a wild hair and found an easy pattern online that I wanted to try (for Lil Sis and any non-mommy people: a soaker is a diaper cover style popular with the cloth diaper crowd). There's such a wealth of information on cloth diapering online, and it's really easy to distinguish the good from the bad or to gauge what's actually worth the money. Even found websites selling and offering information on cloth menstrual pads, which would certainly have the average female saying ewwww, but make just as much sense as cloth diapering when you get right down to it. Something to ponder once I have a washing machine to call my own.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
There's a glimmer of light up ahead.....
.....and I don't hear a train whistle.....
I'm feeling better. It really bothers me though, that my issues of the past, oh, month or so could possibly be traced to a singularity in body chemistry. I know it's silly to obsess about raising kids when they haven't been procreated yet, but it's an issue, this desire to breastfeed if my body will let me, and I see now the distinct possibility that it won't be feasible. Because the pregnancy is going to be hard enough without lithium. And because when the child is born and the hormones calm down, postpartum depression will be the least of my worries - my lithium deficiency will be front and center. I'm certainly not giving up on the idea. But it makes me sad how quickly I've rallied. It's definitely a sign I need to pay attention to.
Makes me sad...that sounds funny. Actually, I'm feeling quite a bit of relief, and I've only been back on the stuff 2 days. It doesn't hurt to wake up in the morning, and my concentration is a little better. I'm feeling like me again. That's a person I've only known for 10 years, so needless to say, I missed her when she flaked out on me. Missed her tremendously, and I'm glad she's back for now.
I'm feeling better. It really bothers me though, that my issues of the past, oh, month or so could possibly be traced to a singularity in body chemistry. I know it's silly to obsess about raising kids when they haven't been procreated yet, but it's an issue, this desire to breastfeed if my body will let me, and I see now the distinct possibility that it won't be feasible. Because the pregnancy is going to be hard enough without lithium. And because when the child is born and the hormones calm down, postpartum depression will be the least of my worries - my lithium deficiency will be front and center. I'm certainly not giving up on the idea. But it makes me sad how quickly I've rallied. It's definitely a sign I need to pay attention to.
Makes me sad...that sounds funny. Actually, I'm feeling quite a bit of relief, and I've only been back on the stuff 2 days. It doesn't hurt to wake up in the morning, and my concentration is a little better. I'm feeling like me again. That's a person I've only known for 10 years, so needless to say, I missed her when she flaked out on me. Missed her tremendously, and I'm glad she's back for now.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Sock Wars
Wow!
I thought Socktoberfest was cute. I thought the Knitting Olympics was an excellent way to challenge yourself, even though I ended up not participating. This however, punctuates the strangeness that is the obsessed knitter.
The Yarn Monkey over in the UK just started Sock Wars, mailing out sock patterns for people to knit up as fast as they can and mail to another Sock Wars participant. If you receive socks, you're dead. Last one alive wins. It's cut-throat, it's international, and it's got its own forum. Hey wait, does that mean last one alive is a Jedi Master?
Since I'm so new to socks, won't participate myself, but will definitely pass the idea on to the bitches, in case anyone's crazy enough to jump in at this late date. This definitely goes against the old-fart knitter's image, but I'm sure my Lil Sis is still shaking her head at me :)
Monday, September 25, 2006
Socktoberfest!!!
buttons snitched from http://lollygirl.com/blog/?cat=73 Couldn't decide which one I liked best, can ya tell?
aka: Stop whining, Melanie, and start knitting!!
Yeah, I know, my whining's legitimate; I'm not actually being hard on myself. But the timing on this idea is perfect. Socktoberfest is the brainchild of http://www.lollygirl.com/blog/; it's not a contest, just a celebration of socks. I have the 2nd Thuja on the needles, as well as a twisted-stitch pattern from the Knit Socks! book, and these are only my 2nd and 3rd attempts at the evil fun that is socks, so why not give myself a little more encouragement? That button made me laugh, since I've had to stop drinking altogether; it's like TPTB saying, well, knitting's better for you anyway! And I'm always up for another reason for my Lil Sis to shake her head at me :) (Oh, speaking of which, Miss M, check out the new button on the left! snitched from http://somecallthemsticks.typepad.com/)
So pick up your dpns and celebrate Socktoberfest!
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
The usual.....
Pokin' along...
Found my closet floor again. It's nice.
Also cleared and organized my witchy stuff, found all the crystals I thought I'd given away. Nice to have my hands on that stuff again. I cleaned off my spice rack and hung it at eye level in the bedroom for easier access. (to the Muggles scratching their heads, it's for making incenses and stuff)
Still walking...weather may be turning again, cross your fingers...fundraising pokey still...fresh emails out this weekend.
Started Stormy sock over (AGAIN); third time's a charm. Neglecting everybody else in my UFO pile. God, I love this hobby!! It allows me to sit like a slug and watch my shows (I'm a sucker for a new fall season on the tube), and feel like I've accomplished something.
Starting 3rd string on mr. guitar...reading Great Expectations for kicks...goofing off at work...there's still that absence of energy, and I'm missing my lithium, but I remind myself of how different I am from say, 10 years ago, and it quells my concerns about backsliding. I never have to go back there. I have good things in my life, good people, and a husband who thinks I walk on water. I'm safe.
Found my closet floor again. It's nice.
Also cleared and organized my witchy stuff, found all the crystals I thought I'd given away. Nice to have my hands on that stuff again. I cleaned off my spice rack and hung it at eye level in the bedroom for easier access. (to the Muggles scratching their heads, it's for making incenses and stuff)
Still walking...weather may be turning again, cross your fingers...fundraising pokey still...fresh emails out this weekend.
Started Stormy sock over (AGAIN); third time's a charm. Neglecting everybody else in my UFO pile. God, I love this hobby!! It allows me to sit like a slug and watch my shows (I'm a sucker for a new fall season on the tube), and feel like I've accomplished something.
Starting 3rd string on mr. guitar...reading Great Expectations for kicks...goofing off at work...there's still that absence of energy, and I'm missing my lithium, but I remind myself of how different I am from say, 10 years ago, and it quells my concerns about backsliding. I never have to go back there. I have good things in my life, good people, and a husband who thinks I walk on water. I'm safe.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Better late than never
I think I've just broken all previous records for late-bloomerism...
When my friend Missy was in her senior year of high school, she decided to drop some weight, and did so by eating healthier, exercising more, and switching out soda for flavored seltzer water. I couldn't wrap my mind around the seltzer water concept at the time, because at the time, I was in training to become the sugar mainliner you all know and love.
So with this walk coming up on 1 month away, and no pounds off my everwidening ass yet, I took a look at my eating habits this past weekend so that I could make some changes. Like no more ice cream ::pause for moment of silence:: and supplementing Slim-Fast here and there (nothing drastic; more a necessity because I have that in my cabinet, we're low on dough til Friday, and there's a dearth of decent food in the house). I've learned how to drink water in recent years thankfully, but it gets old fast, and I find it only makes me thirstier when it's all I drink in the afternoons.
So I'm ambling through the local Publix at lunchtime, searching unsuccessfully for Diet Coke with Splenda (the other pain in the ass of my body—an allergy to aspartame, which is still widely used in diet products), and I come across the flavored seltzer water. It's been ages since I've tried any, it's dirt cheap ($.69 for a 2-liter!) and lord knows I need a change. I'm reminded of Missy, and grab a bottle.
Sonofabitch...it doesn't suck! Not bad at all, in fact. Are my taste buds maturing? Lord knows the rest of me is. I'm a little baffled......no, make that blown away......... that it's taken me the better part of 20 years to discover this stuff. Ridiculous, I know, and barely noteworthy; but with me, it's the little things :)
When my friend Missy was in her senior year of high school, she decided to drop some weight, and did so by eating healthier, exercising more, and switching out soda for flavored seltzer water. I couldn't wrap my mind around the seltzer water concept at the time, because at the time, I was in training to become the sugar mainliner you all know and love.
So with this walk coming up on 1 month away, and no pounds off my everwidening ass yet, I took a look at my eating habits this past weekend so that I could make some changes. Like no more ice cream ::pause for moment of silence:: and supplementing Slim-Fast here and there (nothing drastic; more a necessity because I have that in my cabinet, we're low on dough til Friday, and there's a dearth of decent food in the house). I've learned how to drink water in recent years thankfully, but it gets old fast, and I find it only makes me thirstier when it's all I drink in the afternoons.
So I'm ambling through the local Publix at lunchtime, searching unsuccessfully for Diet Coke with Splenda (the other pain in the ass of my body—an allergy to aspartame, which is still widely used in diet products), and I come across the flavored seltzer water. It's been ages since I've tried any, it's dirt cheap ($.69 for a 2-liter!) and lord knows I need a change. I'm reminded of Missy, and grab a bottle.
Sonofabitch...it doesn't suck! Not bad at all, in fact. Are my taste buds maturing? Lord knows the rest of me is. I'm a little baffled......no, make that blown away......... that it's taken me the better part of 20 years to discover this stuff. Ridiculous, I know, and barely noteworthy; but with me, it's the little things :)
I've found my tears
Relax, this is a good thing.
One of the helpful side effects of some psychotropic medications is an absence of crying. This can be extremely helpful in engaging in what others would call a normal life, because lemme tellya, when you're seriously down and in need of meds, anything will set you off, be it someone cutting you off in traffic, the mailman missing your house, or one of those Publix commercials on TV (you southerners know what I'm talking about.....young couple moves in across the street from old farts who then put together an entire meal from scratch to welcome the new neighbors......little kid making Valentine's cake with Mom, brings it to school, and leaves it with Mom in the car, because it was really for her.........and don't get me started on their Thanksgiving and Christmas ads!). I never minded the lack of tears much, because I was very lucky to be on a combo of meds that did NOT make me feel numb, which is a common complaint among medicated nutjobs. I could feel happy, sad, angry and it didn't devastate me. Again I say, very lucky.
So I mentioned being off the miracle salt in my last entry. I notice I'm talking to myself a bit more, and I have the energy level of moss. I miss the stuff, but I'm holding steady. So I was giving into that energy level this weekend by finally watching "Serenity," which is an abso-freakin'-lute must-see for anyone who's ever glimpsed the series "Firefly." Holy shit, what a good movie!! However the climax is quite dramatic, and there's a point there where you think that about half the crew is going to start walking toward the light. I found myself having a nice, clean cry and was delighted by this newfound behavior. Don't get me wrong; the day I stop breastfeeding my future children, I'll probably be going right back on the stuff, but in this interim, it's nice to have emotional responses and not have them devastate me.
FINALLY got out walking again. The new sneaks seem ok, and the ankle brace that Les bought me (for my arthritis) is remarkably comfortable and affords me a really nice level of support. I wore the thin CoolMax socks first, then the brace, then a second pair of socks, and it was comfortable without shoving my toes to the front of the sneaks. Since I ended up getting men's size 9½s (::sigh::), comfort's a fine line—too loose means blisters and sore toes, too tight means arthritis flare-ups and sore toes. The hat's bugging me though; may go looking for a boonie hat this friday, though the problem with that type of hat is what to do with the blasted hair then. I'm getting the urge to trim it some more; trying to resist that urge...
This weekend's knitting was all about socks. I bailed on my pattern attempt on the Stormy (named for the Dana yarn color) socks; I was trying something with a reverse stockinette but it was clusterf*cked within one try of the pattern, and I just didn't have the drive to learn something new right now, so I frogged back and started a regular stockinette sock, which I'm now thinking I made too small because I was still paying attention to the other sock pattern when I started the new sock pattern ::sigh:: Maybe it's TPTB telling me to work on the shawl or the cape for a while......
One of the helpful side effects of some psychotropic medications is an absence of crying. This can be extremely helpful in engaging in what others would call a normal life, because lemme tellya, when you're seriously down and in need of meds, anything will set you off, be it someone cutting you off in traffic, the mailman missing your house, or one of those Publix commercials on TV (you southerners know what I'm talking about.....young couple moves in across the street from old farts who then put together an entire meal from scratch to welcome the new neighbors......little kid making Valentine's cake with Mom, brings it to school, and leaves it with Mom in the car, because it was really for her.........and don't get me started on their Thanksgiving and Christmas ads!). I never minded the lack of tears much, because I was very lucky to be on a combo of meds that did NOT make me feel numb, which is a common complaint among medicated nutjobs. I could feel happy, sad, angry and it didn't devastate me. Again I say, very lucky.
So I mentioned being off the miracle salt in my last entry. I notice I'm talking to myself a bit more, and I have the energy level of moss. I miss the stuff, but I'm holding steady. So I was giving into that energy level this weekend by finally watching "Serenity," which is an abso-freakin'-lute must-see for anyone who's ever glimpsed the series "Firefly." Holy shit, what a good movie!! However the climax is quite dramatic, and there's a point there where you think that about half the crew is going to start walking toward the light. I found myself having a nice, clean cry and was delighted by this newfound behavior. Don't get me wrong; the day I stop breastfeeding my future children, I'll probably be going right back on the stuff, but in this interim, it's nice to have emotional responses and not have them devastate me.
FINALLY got out walking again. The new sneaks seem ok, and the ankle brace that Les bought me (for my arthritis) is remarkably comfortable and affords me a really nice level of support. I wore the thin CoolMax socks first, then the brace, then a second pair of socks, and it was comfortable without shoving my toes to the front of the sneaks. Since I ended up getting men's size 9½s (::sigh::), comfort's a fine line—too loose means blisters and sore toes, too tight means arthritis flare-ups and sore toes. The hat's bugging me though; may go looking for a boonie hat this friday, though the problem with that type of hat is what to do with the blasted hair then. I'm getting the urge to trim it some more; trying to resist that urge...
This weekend's knitting was all about socks. I bailed on my pattern attempt on the Stormy (named for the Dana yarn color) socks; I was trying something with a reverse stockinette but it was clusterf*cked within one try of the pattern, and I just didn't have the drive to learn something new right now, so I frogged back and started a regular stockinette sock, which I'm now thinking I made too small because I was still paying attention to the other sock pattern when I started the new sock pattern ::sigh:: Maybe it's TPTB telling me to work on the shawl or the cape for a while......
Friday, September 15, 2006
Adaptation
So I'm training for this walk, or trying to. And about 2 months ago, I had my yearly GYN fun, and the doc and I discussed me weaning off my meds and substituting one, since I want to start trying for kids in the near future. The ones I was on are bad, bad for a fetus, and the one I'm subbing to, doesn't have nearly the withdrawal symptoms of the others.
I take an antidepressant and lithium. I'm not a swing-from-the-rafters bipolar per se, but the bloodwork showed a significant lithium deficiency. Been on it for years now, and it was a good combo; it worked for me, and I've truly been able to function well and realize who I am as a person. We're subbing on the antidepressant and it seems to be doing an ok job, though I'm still weaning, so I've got plenty of good chemicals in my system at present. Last week, I finished weaning off the lithium. I'm discovering this means my spirits are in check, but I have zero energy to train. Nil. I'm carpet lint.
Lloyd Bridges, Airplane I:
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking..."
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking..."
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines..."
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue..."
Now I'm also PMSing, so I'll take that into account. Still it spooked me enough to suggest that I go back on the lithium for a bit, just until after the walk. Les, surprisingly, talked me out of it. Usually he hates when I wean off my meds (now granted, usually I don't have the doc's permission; rather it's a case of me wanting to take less of something and taking matters into my own hands), but he knows how much I want kids, how much I want to do it as naturally as possible (I mean, we're talking no drugs, cloth diapers, breastfeeding, and organic food), and how much of a pain it is to wean off something. And it's true, there's not enough reason to go back on it and set myself back a month and a half down the road. And it certainly helps that he's my rock and he ain't going anywhere.
So on the commute to work this morning, I realized I'm forgetting something rather vital. I'm a witch. I worship the earth. I draw energy from it. I've seen and felt the power of a dancing circle of humans united for a singular purpose.
It's time to start hugging trees. I need to ground before I go out to stretch, ground while stretching, and ground while I'm walking. I need to reach down into the depths of the earth and draw up her lifeforce into my body to borrow it for a little while. I need to carry talismans when I walk that'll aid in this endeavor. I need to soak up the sun and the rain and allow them to feed my chi.
Sounds pretty fluffy, huh? And I know it's not foolproof; when your energy's flatlined, it's damn hard to conjure the interest and focus to do anything, let alone exercise. But I've got just over a month to get ready for this turkey, and if I don't want to do damage to myself, I've got to get back on the horse.
Definitely a time of changes right now...in my continued quest to create more UFOs than FOs, I'm currently working not 1, but 2 different sock patterns. Yes, folks, I've finally discovered the wonder of socks. My success at creating my first one and having it a) fit ok, and b) not look like complete crap, has caused a new delusion of aptitude. Picking up stitches no longer terrifies me, and while working dpns still feels like I've got about 3 extra thumbs, it's a deformity I'm learning to live with.
Have a great weekend, gang!
I take an antidepressant and lithium. I'm not a swing-from-the-rafters bipolar per se, but the bloodwork showed a significant lithium deficiency. Been on it for years now, and it was a good combo; it worked for me, and I've truly been able to function well and realize who I am as a person. We're subbing on the antidepressant and it seems to be doing an ok job, though I'm still weaning, so I've got plenty of good chemicals in my system at present. Last week, I finished weaning off the lithium. I'm discovering this means my spirits are in check, but I have zero energy to train. Nil. I'm carpet lint.
Lloyd Bridges, Airplane I:
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking..."
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking..."
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines..."
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue..."
Now I'm also PMSing, so I'll take that into account. Still it spooked me enough to suggest that I go back on the lithium for a bit, just until after the walk. Les, surprisingly, talked me out of it. Usually he hates when I wean off my meds (now granted, usually I don't have the doc's permission; rather it's a case of me wanting to take less of something and taking matters into my own hands), but he knows how much I want kids, how much I want to do it as naturally as possible (I mean, we're talking no drugs, cloth diapers, breastfeeding, and organic food), and how much of a pain it is to wean off something. And it's true, there's not enough reason to go back on it and set myself back a month and a half down the road. And it certainly helps that he's my rock and he ain't going anywhere.
So on the commute to work this morning, I realized I'm forgetting something rather vital. I'm a witch. I worship the earth. I draw energy from it. I've seen and felt the power of a dancing circle of humans united for a singular purpose.
It's time to start hugging trees. I need to ground before I go out to stretch, ground while stretching, and ground while I'm walking. I need to reach down into the depths of the earth and draw up her lifeforce into my body to borrow it for a little while. I need to carry talismans when I walk that'll aid in this endeavor. I need to soak up the sun and the rain and allow them to feed my chi.
Sounds pretty fluffy, huh? And I know it's not foolproof; when your energy's flatlined, it's damn hard to conjure the interest and focus to do anything, let alone exercise. But I've got just over a month to get ready for this turkey, and if I don't want to do damage to myself, I've got to get back on the horse.
Definitely a time of changes right now...in my continued quest to create more UFOs than FOs, I'm currently working not 1, but 2 different sock patterns. Yes, folks, I've finally discovered the wonder of socks. My success at creating my first one and having it a) fit ok, and b) not look like complete crap, has caused a new delusion of aptitude. Picking up stitches no longer terrifies me, and while working dpns still feels like I've got about 3 extra thumbs, it's a deformity I'm learning to live with.
Have a great weekend, gang!
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Quick update for my hoards of followers...
The press releases are out! I'll give 'em a week and then email follow-ups. I know, I know, should probably call 'em...
Planning a bake sale for 10/6 at work...that netted $300 last time.
Only took me knitting 1 whole sock to discover the flaw in the pattern. Thuja calls for a set of 4 size 6 dpns. It needs a set of 5. Should have tipped me off when the pattern calls for a cast-on of 44 stitches and then to divide them evenly among the needles...44 ÷ 3 = hmmmm.....yeah, I'm not the brightest bulb in the box, so I had, I think, 15, 15, & 14, which resulted in a purl stitch at the beginning of a needle and we won't go into how challenging that was for M for some reason.
Anywho, the seed-stitch rib is a 3+1 pattern so if you want it to be even, it needs to be divisible by 4 (am I saying that right? basic math wording was never a strong suit). Meaning you're better off with a cast-on of 48 (16, 16, 16 or 12, 12, 12, 12). Whew! I'm probably off on this somewhere, but can't for the life of me figure out how to email them to let them know (enabling Javascript is apparently beyond my scope today). Naturally I figure this out when I have started the 2nd sock and have 2 sides with nice ribbing and one side of laughable, half-seed stitch, half rib going on...
Still, I'm finally seeing the addiction that is socks...thinking of also starting something with the sock yarn Dana stuck in that bag of Red Heart for me last week...
Planning a bake sale for 10/6 at work...that netted $300 last time.
Only took me knitting 1 whole sock to discover the flaw in the pattern. Thuja calls for a set of 4 size 6 dpns. It needs a set of 5. Should have tipped me off when the pattern calls for a cast-on of 44 stitches and then to divide them evenly among the needles...44 ÷ 3 = hmmmm.....yeah, I'm not the brightest bulb in the box, so I had, I think, 15, 15, & 14, which resulted in a purl stitch at the beginning of a needle and we won't go into how challenging that was for M for some reason.
Anywho, the seed-stitch rib is a 3+1 pattern so if you want it to be even, it needs to be divisible by 4 (am I saying that right? basic math wording was never a strong suit). Meaning you're better off with a cast-on of 48 (16, 16, 16 or 12, 12, 12, 12). Whew! I'm probably off on this somewhere, but can't for the life of me figure out how to email them to let them know (enabling Javascript is apparently beyond my scope today). Naturally I figure this out when I have started the 2nd sock and have 2 sides with nice ribbing and one side of laughable, half-seed stitch, half rib going on...
Still, I'm finally seeing the addiction that is socks...thinking of also starting something with the sock yarn Dana stuck in that bag of Red Heart for me last week...
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Things to do today:
1. Plaster a smile on my face and keep it there when my coworkers are singing "Happy Birthday" to me later.
37. Definitely still wrapping my mind around that one.
Plus woke up tired today, and that pisses me off, because there's not a decent reason for it. I hit the sack on time. Woke up just exhausted, hit the john, and thought to myself, "please let it be, like 3 a.m."
It was 6:30. I get up at 6:45. Grr.
Paraphrased from Caroline in the City:
Richard: My girlfriend wakes me up by singing, "good morning, good morning, a happy winter morning..." (affects shrill singing voice)
Amy: And you haven't clubbed her like a baby seal yet?
I thought of a good one yesterday...if you're going to be a bitch, at least ride the broom side-saddle so it'll be easier to jump off when you're feeling better.
My wimpy disclosure about walking and fundraising yesterday earned me a tongue-lashing by my Salem pal and fellow walker. I deserve it. I have 39 days to pull this sucker together, both monetarily and physically, and from where I'm stuck sitting (work cubicle) right now, it's certainly a daunting task. But I don't shy away from those, and I'm not about to start. I'll figure out a payment plan with them if I don't have all the dough by October; heck, they even give you an extra month to fundraise after the walk. No throwing in the towel here!
Had to postpone doing stuff last night due to minor power outage (did you know those utility companies expect money EVERY month?!), so tonight will be getting the press releases out. Alexa's right; I can postpone the thank-you notes--I'm keeping track online of who got them so far, so it's not like I'm going to forget the others. But first, I'll grab a walk right after work :)
37. Definitely still wrapping my mind around that one.
Plus woke up tired today, and that pisses me off, because there's not a decent reason for it. I hit the sack on time. Woke up just exhausted, hit the john, and thought to myself, "please let it be, like 3 a.m."
It was 6:30. I get up at 6:45. Grr.
Paraphrased from Caroline in the City:
Richard: My girlfriend wakes me up by singing, "good morning, good morning, a happy winter morning..." (affects shrill singing voice)
Amy: And you haven't clubbed her like a baby seal yet?
I thought of a good one yesterday...if you're going to be a bitch, at least ride the broom side-saddle so it'll be easier to jump off when you're feeling better.
My wimpy disclosure about walking and fundraising yesterday earned me a tongue-lashing by my Salem pal and fellow walker. I deserve it. I have 39 days to pull this sucker together, both monetarily and physically, and from where I'm stuck sitting (work cubicle) right now, it's certainly a daunting task. But I don't shy away from those, and I'm not about to start. I'll figure out a payment plan with them if I don't have all the dough by October; heck, they even give you an extra month to fundraise after the walk. No throwing in the towel here!
Had to postpone doing stuff last night due to minor power outage (did you know those utility companies expect money EVERY month?!), so tonight will be getting the press releases out. Alexa's right; I can postpone the thank-you notes--I'm keeping track online of who got them so far, so it's not like I'm going to forget the others. But first, I'll grab a walk right after work :)
Monday, September 11, 2006
Happy birthday to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
graphic courtesy of http://www.konaguitars.com
Mondays are evil.
But Saturday was my birthday, so that lifts me a little. I may even be embracing turning 37. Still, with the temp in the 70s as I walked to the car this morning, I just wanted to go back inside, kick off the slides, put on the sneaks, and stay outdoors all day. Ah well...
That beauty pictured was my gift from the birthday fairy, cleverly disguised as my husby. I've been making noise about learning to play for years now, and this year, he took me serious. We hit a handful of small music shops on Saturday before this one spoke to me—plus the price was sweet! I recommend Music World on San Jose for anybody interested in acoustic or electric guitars or drums. The place spoke to me the minute we walked in—they had an electric guitar emblazoned with the Icehouse logo (my fave domestic), LOL! The guy threw in an electric tuner, picks, cloth, and strap for free, a gig bag for 1/2 price, and had a good selection of books to get me started.
Needless to say, all that got accomplished this weekend was me figuring out the B and E strings. And when I say that, I only mean 3 notes apiece to start. It's like learning to read music all over again. No, that's not it; reading music is like riding a bike—you don't forget. I played trumpet in high school, so the difference between playing a 3-finger instrument versus a 2-hand, 4-finger instrument is a bit daunting. Thank goodness they both use G clef! The guy quickly recommended a book of chords, beautifully indexed, and when I was perusing the other books, I saw that he had the beginner's Alfred series. I'm 90% sure that that's the same brand series that they used to teach us with, when I started trumpet back in the day, so I grabbed the first book of the series as well; and I'm so glad I did, because it breaks everything down beautifully.
It's not frustrating, so my meds must still be working; rather, I'm able to recognize that this sure ain't going to get mastered overnight. When I felt discouraged though, I just took a little break and then went back to it. Sometimes it means taking a piece measure by measure to get the fingering down, plus there's the added struggle of learning how to use the tips of your left-hand fingers on the strings with the necessary pressure to produce a clear note. It never failed that just when I'd feel I'd gotten the fingering down, I'd nail a dead note from poor finger positioning. Wanted to bring it to work to play on my breaks, but I have enough self-pride not to subject my coworkers to that on my lunch, even outdoors.
So, if I can manage to tear myself away from mr. guitar (I know it's a boy, but he doesn't have a name yet), I'll start my 2nd sock tonight and/or start the guitar strap pattern from the Fall '03 Knitty, because the freebie I have is short and I can tell from the way it attaches that it won't last. And of course, my walking has lagged of late, as has the fundraising, to the point where I'm thinking I won't be able to walk next month, because I won't have raised the necessary dough :( I'm going to send out my press releases tonight first thing, and write the thank-you notes I've been putting off. Then the other stuff can get a glimpse. But you know, no pressure :)
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Don't know what you've got 'til it's gone...
...and you bring it back?
Didn't become a coffee drinker until after college...heck, didn't even drink it much up until about hmm...when I met Les? What's the correlation there?
Lately, been weaning though...looking toward making babies a coupla months from now, and want life to not suck so much when we get to that point. I was drinking a 5-cup jug of the stuff in the mornings, though my drinks after that were usually decaf. But when I inquired to the greatest OBGYN on the planet how much I should trim the ole caffeine intake, she said "1." I jokingly say back, "oh good, only 1 cup?" knowing that that wasn't not the case. She gave me a whammy look and answered, "only 1 cup a day."
Exsqueeze me? Baking powder?
Nah, actually I figured it was something like that, just hurts to hear it said out loud.
Paraphrased from Gilmore Girls:
Max: Do you enjoy coffee?
Lorelai: Only with my air.
So I've been doing half decaf, half hazelnut 8 O'Clock for a couple of weeks now. It's not so bad. But this morning I was lazy, still feeling like I'm getting back into the swing after the deliciously long Labor Day weekend, so I made it all hazelnut this morning.
Wow. Nice. If you'll excuse me, I have to go detail my car on my lunch break and jog around the building 5 times. My brain's actually thinking clearer, feels a little more organized.
This sucks.
Why? Because I know darn well I need to go back to half and half tomorrow, because it's better for me, better for the ole body chemistry, better for my attempts toward better health. Better...
And that's only a drop in the bucket of how I'd like to change my lifestyle, meaning I'd love to only be shopping at Native Sun, love to be able to walk past chocolate without my hands taking on a life of their own, love to be able to walk daily like I need to if I'm ever going to get this big ass off my ass...
Patience. And in the meantime, pass the Haagen-Daz.
graphic snuck from http://www.wikipedia.com
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
I'm back!
The party may start now.
:)
Good weekend; a touch of cooling weather and mosquitoes at night, the usual family stresses. The visit to Columbia, detailed somewhat here. Lots and lots and LOTS of time spent taking care of a 6-week-old, 9-pound baby girl person. Kylie is a gassy little squirmer with a full head of dark brown hair and dark, inquisitive eyes. Taking care of her was such a palpable feeling, I nearly latched her onto one of my own tits. All claims about being ready have been fluff up until now; this weekend gave me a taste of the real deal, and I know I will be an amazing mommy.
On the last day, I showed her her first tree. I took her outside to the tree I hug in the front yard, placed her palm on the bark, and told her how the tree would give her energy, just as she gives energy to the tree. Les and I both spent time just shrouding her meditatively in positive energy. She lay on my chest and just looked and looked at me while I hummed everything from "Sing a Song of Sixpence" to Trumpet Voluntary to her.
I'm a bit of a puddle still.
I know, I know, they grow up, scream a lot, make messes, clean out your bank account, pierce parts of their body down the road, resent you, and consider you a source of embarassment right up until they leave for college. I still want one. Maybe two.
So this week is spent reintegrating into reality, playing on the new computer, trying to catch up on some wayward knitting, and about 3 other things. I'm in the home stretch on my first sock, which I know will be stretchy to the point of irritating due to the yarn I'm using, but I'm past caring because I'M IN THE HOME STRETCH ON MY FIRST SOCK!!! Gotta get back on the cape too; I had an idea this morning about stitching I-cord buttonloops at the collar for like, those Navy wooden peacoat buttons. Hmm...
:)
Good weekend; a touch of cooling weather and mosquitoes at night, the usual family stresses. The visit to Columbia, detailed somewhat here. Lots and lots and LOTS of time spent taking care of a 6-week-old, 9-pound baby girl person. Kylie is a gassy little squirmer with a full head of dark brown hair and dark, inquisitive eyes. Taking care of her was such a palpable feeling, I nearly latched her onto one of my own tits. All claims about being ready have been fluff up until now; this weekend gave me a taste of the real deal, and I know I will be an amazing mommy.
On the last day, I showed her her first tree. I took her outside to the tree I hug in the front yard, placed her palm on the bark, and told her how the tree would give her energy, just as she gives energy to the tree. Les and I both spent time just shrouding her meditatively in positive energy. She lay on my chest and just looked and looked at me while I hummed everything from "Sing a Song of Sixpence" to Trumpet Voluntary to her.
I'm a bit of a puddle still.
I know, I know, they grow up, scream a lot, make messes, clean out your bank account, pierce parts of their body down the road, resent you, and consider you a source of embarassment right up until they leave for college. I still want one. Maybe two.
So this week is spent reintegrating into reality, playing on the new computer, trying to catch up on some wayward knitting, and about 3 other things. I'm in the home stretch on my first sock, which I know will be stretchy to the point of irritating due to the yarn I'm using, but I'm past caring because I'M IN THE HOME STRETCH ON MY FIRST SOCK!!! Gotta get back on the cape too; I had an idea this morning about stitching I-cord buttonloops at the collar for like, those Navy wooden peacoat buttons. Hmm...
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Quick update...
Will be taking a couple of days off for Labor Day weekend...the wilds of SC are calling, I need to go explore Columbia, see sis-in-law's new place, see other sis-in-law's new critter (niece), hug my tree, lay on the grass, beg donation money from their nice neighbors, etc...
The new computer came in!!! We didn't expect it until after Labor Day, but were surprised yesterday by 2 boxes carrying our new Dell system. Still working some kinks out; I played on it for a couple of hours last night, and went blonde on a licensing issue with the MS Office stuff, plus I couldn't figure out how to turn off the CPU afterward (yes, folks, I work on a computer everyday), but man, it's a beauty! The other surprise (and this is worth a chuckle): no A: drive. Nothing for a 3¼-inch floppy. It boggles my mind that those have gone obsolete. I spent the better part of an hour yesterday transferring my novel from one disk to another, and in the process transferring every chapter from Wordpad documents to Word 2000 documents, because I was afraid that the Wordpad docs wouldn't be compatible with the new system (just didn't want to take a chance given the age of our old system), and all we've got is a frickin' CD/DVD drive/burner! I had to laugh. At least it's all in Word now, that is a relief. It'll be easy enough to transfer to a CD, or we can get a flash drive. Kinko's doesn't let you do it yourself though, so probably won't do it there; I've worked on that sucker for so long, there's no way I'm letting any of it get stolen.
Also learned this week that I can't drink while on Wellbutrin; sent me into a downward spiral that I'm still clawing my way up from. I wasn't hungover, but I was the emotional equivalent of gum on the bottom of a shoe. I never felt that way when I drank on Paxil, can't remember the last time I was that low; I mean, we're talking crawl-under-the-desk-bang-my-head-bruise-myself low. It brought back memories of Fort Myers. Never again.
Good. Don't need the damn stuff anyway.
So definitely hopping to KB for a bit tonight, chill with the ladies and Robbie, then home to throw stuff together for the trip. Laundry sitch is getting desperate.
Can't believe it's almost September. Not looking toward the ole birthday really; maybe this year, I'll just let it pass. I would love a violin or a guitar for a present though; been dropping hints to husby :) Can you ignore it and still get gifts? Sounds like one of them women's perogative things to me!
The new computer came in!!! We didn't expect it until after Labor Day, but were surprised yesterday by 2 boxes carrying our new Dell system. Still working some kinks out; I played on it for a couple of hours last night, and went blonde on a licensing issue with the MS Office stuff, plus I couldn't figure out how to turn off the CPU afterward (yes, folks, I work on a computer everyday), but man, it's a beauty! The other surprise (and this is worth a chuckle): no A: drive. Nothing for a 3¼-inch floppy. It boggles my mind that those have gone obsolete. I spent the better part of an hour yesterday transferring my novel from one disk to another, and in the process transferring every chapter from Wordpad documents to Word 2000 documents, because I was afraid that the Wordpad docs wouldn't be compatible with the new system (just didn't want to take a chance given the age of our old system), and all we've got is a frickin' CD/DVD drive/burner! I had to laugh. At least it's all in Word now, that is a relief. It'll be easy enough to transfer to a CD, or we can get a flash drive. Kinko's doesn't let you do it yourself though, so probably won't do it there; I've worked on that sucker for so long, there's no way I'm letting any of it get stolen.
Also learned this week that I can't drink while on Wellbutrin; sent me into a downward spiral that I'm still clawing my way up from. I wasn't hungover, but I was the emotional equivalent of gum on the bottom of a shoe. I never felt that way when I drank on Paxil, can't remember the last time I was that low; I mean, we're talking crawl-under-the-desk-bang-my-head-bruise-myself low. It brought back memories of Fort Myers. Never again.
Good. Don't need the damn stuff anyway.
So definitely hopping to KB for a bit tonight, chill with the ladies and Robbie, then home to throw stuff together for the trip. Laundry sitch is getting desperate.
Can't believe it's almost September. Not looking toward the ole birthday really; maybe this year, I'll just let it pass. I would love a violin or a guitar for a present though; been dropping hints to husby :) Can you ignore it and still get gifts? Sounds like one of them women's perogative things to me!
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Endurance
I seem to have it. Whodathunkit.
Did my first try at 4 miles yesterday after work. A nice walk overall, though not nearly enough sidewalks. Jacksonville just sucks for sidewalks, but I was out of the range of serious traffic for most of it. Went down a hill off my access road into private communities of townhomes and the Baymeadows golf course, then down Baymeadows to home. Probably a little less than 4 miles, I shaved a bit off by using the golf cart trails for a piece, plus found another hole in the fence behind our complex. The heat was grueling though, started feeling it by about 2/3rds through, but that was also because Les was being overprotective before I left, so I felt obligated to keep my time down. I'll have to stick to main roads, so that he'll chill, because I don't want to be worrying about time; I'm working on distance and posture, nothing more.
But am I sore today? Barely! My right foot's being ornery, but that's normal after that level of distance, and I got 1 blister, so I'm definitely going to see about getting those new sneaks when we go up to SC. I'm going to do yoga today after work, because I also need to do laundry, and tomorrow I'll walk again.
It's in me!
Did my first try at 4 miles yesterday after work. A nice walk overall, though not nearly enough sidewalks. Jacksonville just sucks for sidewalks, but I was out of the range of serious traffic for most of it. Went down a hill off my access road into private communities of townhomes and the Baymeadows golf course, then down Baymeadows to home. Probably a little less than 4 miles, I shaved a bit off by using the golf cart trails for a piece, plus found another hole in the fence behind our complex. The heat was grueling though, started feeling it by about 2/3rds through, but that was also because Les was being overprotective before I left, so I felt obligated to keep my time down. I'll have to stick to main roads, so that he'll chill, because I don't want to be worrying about time; I'm working on distance and posture, nothing more.
But am I sore today? Barely! My right foot's being ornery, but that's normal after that level of distance, and I got 1 blister, so I'm definitely going to see about getting those new sneaks when we go up to SC. I'm going to do yoga today after work, because I also need to do laundry, and tomorrow I'll walk again.
It's in me!
Monday, August 28, 2006
Monday...
I will not panic about the fundraising I will not panic about the fundraising I will not panic....
Actually this pic is all the motivation I need. Meet Alexa, her husband, and their 2 beautiful girls, along the route of the Boston 3-Day, which she walked in earlier this month. That sucker's 60 miles over 3 days, and she raised more than $5,000!
Still, I think I need to write her and see if any of her donors are itching for some more tax deductions on next years' return...
Sent out my 2nd bulk mailing today, after FINALLY procuring enough stamps to pull it off, but it's a hodge-podge of people that I can't rely upon necessarily—family, friends, and doctors alike. I haven't drafted the media release for the local affiliates yet, or composed a letter for my company (with separate ones for the suits in charge), so the panicking's a shade premature, but with a mere 54 days left to the walk, that countdown clock's louder than my biological clock right now, and y'all know how noisy THAT one's been of late.
Bought my rain suit (my frugal nature actually had me pondering a poncho for a split second; then I remembered my arms and legs in the 2002 walk, and I came to my senses) and an extra sports bra this weekend, as well as the mylar blankets that saved my ass at the last walk. Buying stuff a little at a time should help. Still need an extra pair of shorts, 2 pairs of exercise pants or capris, my sneaks (which I'm hopefully getting both mommies to help with), one of those self-inflatable mats for under the sleeping bag (gave brief attention to one of those kindermats that small people use to nap on in school, only $5.99, but came to my senses on that one too...even though I'll be tired enough to sleep standing up after the first day, that's no reason to get nuts about the money saving when comfort's the issue), and a handful of other things, but I'm starting to feel prepared material-wise.
Wish I could say the same for my training...the weather turned rainy last week, which we desperately needed, but I didn't have the rain gear, plus the rain made us realize where the heck the humidity's been this summer. Holy crap, is it oppressive out! Hot, damp, breathe-in-and-the-air-feels-heavy-wool-blanket-smothering-you-summer has finally hit, and with Ernesto creeping up the peninsula, there's no immediate end in sight, so I'm just going to bite the bullet, buy more orange Gatorade, and get on the road. Working on 4-mile walks this week; I have a couple of routes mapped out thanks to an amazing little online tool that Alexa turned me onto...going to map out a couple in SC for the coming weekend too.
Wish me luck! Oh, and if you haven't been begged at by me yet, don't wait for the engraved invitation...check out my Avon Walk page at the links on the left and get donating! Tell your friends! Tell your enemies! Even $5 makes a difference; I should know, it's all I could afford to send Alexa :(
Friday, August 25, 2006
Rain
Buckets. Flooding in areas of poor drainage, like the top of my complex driveway. The driveway then slopes downward so that when you go out to your car, you're standing in an ankle-deep river.
It's raining cats, dogs, and alligators, I like to say. The ducks stand around confused. They've gotten used to the drought-like conditions, the receding retention ponds, the algae. The turtles are in heaven. The nutria all look like beavers, soaked and waddling.
Feast or famine. Florida used to run on a schedule—blessed sunshine til about 3 p.m., then rain for anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour and a half, then sun again til nightfall. One of my first memories of Florida was standing in my aunt and uncle's driveway in Tampa, listening to the rain coming down the street. Up north, it rained up, down, and sideways, but it always rained in the backyard when it was raining in the front. Florida's a duck of a different color.
This summer though, and the past two or three, come to think of it, tropical parchment. I'm sure the folks in Arizona and New Mexico would just shake their heads at our complaining, but it's still not enough rain. I'm glad my attempts at planting failed again, because they would've failed anyway. I need a backyard, a hose, some real earth, some real plants. Hell, some real grass too, not this stuff that comes in blocks and doesn't take root half the time. I lie flat on the grass in my inlaws' yard and feel the difference at some fundamental level. I am a child of the seasons.
Man, I need to write more. Been reading Poisonwood Bible again by Kingsolver; it's an addiction, a phenomenally written tome that speaks to me on several planes and cracks open the little room where the muse lives and lurks in my head, forcing out these bursts of creativity that dribble out of my fingers onto the keyboard like a tiny waterfall. My novel, Zoe, sits in her hospital room aching for movement, for something to take her beyond the stuck-in-the-mud place where she is now, trapped inside her own head, my own head, praying for some magical release, some wonder drug to strip off her skin and lay her bare for the final edit. It's so damn close. I keep saying, "if I can just get past this Avon walk, this holiday season, this SC move...," but deep down, I know they're excuses, that there's more of me to be given to the novel. I'm just afraid of its lack of truth, afraid it needs full rewrites in spots, because I'm not happy with how fictional it became, afraid it needs to be more autobiographical for my message to get across effectively, afraid that if I keep at it like this I'll never be satisfied and it'll never get finished...
It's raining cats, dogs, and alligators, I like to say. The ducks stand around confused. They've gotten used to the drought-like conditions, the receding retention ponds, the algae. The turtles are in heaven. The nutria all look like beavers, soaked and waddling.
Feast or famine. Florida used to run on a schedule—blessed sunshine til about 3 p.m., then rain for anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour and a half, then sun again til nightfall. One of my first memories of Florida was standing in my aunt and uncle's driveway in Tampa, listening to the rain coming down the street. Up north, it rained up, down, and sideways, but it always rained in the backyard when it was raining in the front. Florida's a duck of a different color.
This summer though, and the past two or three, come to think of it, tropical parchment. I'm sure the folks in Arizona and New Mexico would just shake their heads at our complaining, but it's still not enough rain. I'm glad my attempts at planting failed again, because they would've failed anyway. I need a backyard, a hose, some real earth, some real plants. Hell, some real grass too, not this stuff that comes in blocks and doesn't take root half the time. I lie flat on the grass in my inlaws' yard and feel the difference at some fundamental level. I am a child of the seasons.
Man, I need to write more. Been reading Poisonwood Bible again by Kingsolver; it's an addiction, a phenomenally written tome that speaks to me on several planes and cracks open the little room where the muse lives and lurks in my head, forcing out these bursts of creativity that dribble out of my fingers onto the keyboard like a tiny waterfall. My novel, Zoe, sits in her hospital room aching for movement, for something to take her beyond the stuck-in-the-mud place where she is now, trapped inside her own head, my own head, praying for some magical release, some wonder drug to strip off her skin and lay her bare for the final edit. It's so damn close. I keep saying, "if I can just get past this Avon walk, this holiday season, this SC move...," but deep down, I know they're excuses, that there's more of me to be given to the novel. I'm just afraid of its lack of truth, afraid it needs full rewrites in spots, because I'm not happy with how fictional it became, afraid it needs to be more autobiographical for my message to get across effectively, afraid that if I keep at it like this I'll never be satisfied and it'll never get finished...
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
More funny kitty pics
Dude, don't bogart the 'nip...Graphics snitched from http://www.whatdidyoueat.typepad.com// Captions personal. No offense intended to Sher or Upsie, just giggles.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
To each their own
My Lil Sis thinks knitting is weird for anyone under the age of, oh say, 80, so blogging about it sends me right up a tree in her book, I think...to which I say, hey, at least I'm not a Weekend Cat Blogger!
Sad thing is, if I owned a digi cam, I'd probably try it. I'm that much of a sheep. Lord knows Jordan and Figaro are worth the press, the little freaks. I mean, let's face it; cats put up a good front of aloofness, but they ain't running on all 8 cylinders.
Weekend Cat Blogging (WCB) appears to be when you allow your cat to take over the blog on the weekends. I've been reading a lot of our Foodie Farmgirl lately, coveting her life and her land, and today I indulged in investigating her food blog links to the right (HEAVEN!! Holy crap, the ideas I have for recipes to try! Whenever I get to thinking the Internet is evil, I'm going to remember the amazing creativity I've witnessed today.) One in partic, What Did You Eat?, I plan to pilfer several recipes from. This lady, in addition to sharing some scrumptious looking piccies and recipes for food that's mostly very good for you, also has an extremely long-haired cat named Upsie who partakes of WCB. Just had to snitch a couple of pics of said furball; they're hilarious. I mean, doesn't he look like he's thinking, "if you don't get this thing off my head, I'm going to leave a hairball in your mouth while you sleep."
Another random thought: while I admit to enjoying the convenience of living in this urban type of suburbia we call Jax, the speed with which it's expanding makes me shudder. Traveled to the Intracoastal area between Arlington and the beach this weekend and couldn't believe the building that has occured of late. I mean, seriously, does this city need any more freakin' Super Wal-Marts or Super Targets? Apparently so. Then this morning on the daily commute, practically right next to my building, I notice a sign for an Applebee's coming soon. There's an office complex behind it that's been under construction for a month or two now, but the outer shell of the Applebee's seemingly went up overnight. I realize that in order to find the good jobs, we'll need to live on the outskirts of a city for at least the next couple of years, and I guess I'm just thankful for blogs like Foodie Farmgirl, through whom we can live vicariously.
Monday, August 21, 2006
Another Monday rears its ugly head
Photo courtesy of the 2005 album for the Charlotte walk at http://www.avonwalk.org
Where in the hell does the time go?
Two months from now, I'll be strolling along the streets of Charlotte, NC. I'm not in the least bit ready. Sonofabitch.
Didn't I muse sometime last week that I shouldn't be giving blood because I was in training? Unfortunately I followed giving blood with the monthly friend (who calls it that anymore?), and it knocked me on my ass for a week. Whoever says the two shouldn't correlate because your uterus isn't sloughing off actual blood from your body's 10-pint storehouse is full of shit. I don't usually cramp past the first day; whereas this one was unusually draining. I'm going to have to content myself with the idea that I may have saved a life by donating blood, dust myself off, and get back on the road.
Tonight I project the rest of my training and do at least 2 miles.
Worked a little bit on all three projects this past weekend at least. Once I get another puck or two on the cape, I'm going to need to start figuring out how I want to shape it. I can't even imagine doing k2togs to shape the shoulders; the yarn's too thick and my needles are too small. If I increase the needle size to decrease around the shoulders, am I defeating myself? I'm thinking yes. Still got a ways before that's an issue; also still pondering yes or no to armholes.
Goofing up on mr. sock a bit on the heel, which just means that picking up stitches will be more challenging later. SSS is still a soothing distraction.
Les tried his hand at quesadillas last night. He didn't seem too impressed afterward, but I was in heaven! Yum!
Friday, August 18, 2006
Random Friday
It's been a weird week.
Things feel almost back to normal at the apartment. I'm definitely looking for a house to rent first though, when we move.
Had the layers put back in my hair last weekend. Don't hate 'em yet...on the contrary, they seem to be cooperating, falling around my neck and shoulders in a style that flatters without making my face look gigantic. Whodathunk?
I'm back knitting at the SSS, but I think the sock will get some attention this weekend. I started the heel flap at the Psychic dinner last week.
Fundraising going slow...gonna have to start brainstorming, thinking about a bake sale or something at work, and seeing if Mom can hit folks up at the paper. Also there's a link on the Avon site apparently where you can put together a media release; definitely looking into that this weekend. I may be the only Jax resident doing the Charlotte walk so that's gotta work in my favor.
Training going slow too, unfortunately, but the weather's back to strange (low 90s, low humidity), so I'll get out there both days this weekend and put a plan back in place. I used the blood donation as an excuse for too long this week, but did get out Wednesday for a walk in the woods of sorts. Will also get some cardiovascular, playing with Lukas at his birthday Saturday (son of a friend). My walking hat arrived in the mail and fits nicely; the extra large bill's not the most flattering on the planet, but it's definitely good at keeping the sun off my face. Thanks Betmar!
I think about Nanie a lot lately. Apparently her memory's pretty shot, so I don't write or call because I don't want to confuse her, but I ache to visit her before she leaves this plane of existence. She turned 95 last month, so I'm acutely aware of the chances of that happening in our current sitch. Still...the near future lays out ahead of me in stages...Charlotte, then moving, then children...close enough to touch...just a little while longer...
Zoe's getting some attention this weekend too, somehow. She's been hanging out in my head on the edges, p0king at me. I'm also going through my annual back-to-school itch for knowledge, so pulling out the anthropology text and grabbing some earth science tomes from the local libe. Gotta start somewhere...
Things feel almost back to normal at the apartment. I'm definitely looking for a house to rent first though, when we move.
Had the layers put back in my hair last weekend. Don't hate 'em yet...on the contrary, they seem to be cooperating, falling around my neck and shoulders in a style that flatters without making my face look gigantic. Whodathunk?
I'm back knitting at the SSS, but I think the sock will get some attention this weekend. I started the heel flap at the Psychic dinner last week.
Fundraising going slow...gonna have to start brainstorming, thinking about a bake sale or something at work, and seeing if Mom can hit folks up at the paper. Also there's a link on the Avon site apparently where you can put together a media release; definitely looking into that this weekend. I may be the only Jax resident doing the Charlotte walk so that's gotta work in my favor.
Training going slow too, unfortunately, but the weather's back to strange (low 90s, low humidity), so I'll get out there both days this weekend and put a plan back in place. I used the blood donation as an excuse for too long this week, but did get out Wednesday for a walk in the woods of sorts. Will also get some cardiovascular, playing with Lukas at his birthday Saturday (son of a friend). My walking hat arrived in the mail and fits nicely; the extra large bill's not the most flattering on the planet, but it's definitely good at keeping the sun off my face. Thanks Betmar!
I think about Nanie a lot lately. Apparently her memory's pretty shot, so I don't write or call because I don't want to confuse her, but I ache to visit her before she leaves this plane of existence. She turned 95 last month, so I'm acutely aware of the chances of that happening in our current sitch. Still...the near future lays out ahead of me in stages...Charlotte, then moving, then children...close enough to touch...just a little while longer...
Zoe's getting some attention this weekend too, somehow. She's been hanging out in my head on the edges, p0king at me. I'm also going through my annual back-to-school itch for knowledge, so pulling out the anthropology text and grabbing some earth science tomes from the local libe. Gotta start somewhere...
Thursday, August 17, 2006
::sigh::
Ok, I know you have to know some computer lingo to work this job, but this one just makes me shake my head...
Client emails us with a modification to change the company name to Bradley Hand ITC. So the Mods agent changed the name of the company to "Bradley Hand ITC. "
Bradley Hand ITC is a font style, people!!
Fellow KBer Dana summed it up beautifully yesterday: why is there no lifeguard in the gene pool?
...later...
It's obviously going to be one of those days. 3½ hours later and I've had to:
a) rewrite a meta description for a pizzeria that serves "chicken, buffalo wings, and other Italian food."
and b) work a restaurant site that serves "collared greens." Personally I never knew greens had necks, but I guess you learn something new everyday.
I'd like to go home and knit now.
Client emails us with a modification to change the company name to Bradley Hand ITC. So the Mods agent changed the name of the company to "Bradley Hand ITC. "
Bradley Hand ITC is a font style, people!!
Fellow KBer Dana summed it up beautifully yesterday: why is there no lifeguard in the gene pool?
...later...
It's obviously going to be one of those days. 3½ hours later and I've had to:
a) rewrite a meta description for a pizzeria that serves "chicken, buffalo wings, and other Italian food."
and b) work a restaurant site that serves "collared greens." Personally I never knew greens had necks, but I guess you learn something new everyday.
I'd like to go home and knit now.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
A reprieve?
So Les had a good talk on the phone yesterday with the GM of the complex, explaining that what the woman was complaining about was nothing more than us getting out of bed at night, and that it couldn't be helped. He made an appointment with the GM for noon today to discuss it further, but last night the woman came to the door apologizing so much we couldn't get a word in edgewise, so we think she got a bit of the dressing-down we were hoping for. I'm still not entirely comfortable, but it's a start. It has been getting me up on time in the mornings, because once I'm out of bed to shut off the alarm, I don't want to go back into it because of the noise it makes. We're thinking of investing in a sheet of plywood for between the mattress and boxspring at the next payday, but I have a feeling that'll do nothing but make the bed firmer.
Les is keeping the appointment anyway, because we have an erroneous eviction on our record that needs to be cleared up. I'm sitting in the wing chair to watch TV and knit, instead of on the bed. I look to Labor Day weekend and the tall pines of my inlaws' yard.
Les is keeping the appointment anyway, because we have an erroneous eviction on our record that needs to be cleared up. I'm sitting in the wing chair to watch TV and knit, instead of on the bed. I look to Labor Day weekend and the tall pines of my inlaws' yard.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
I hate my downstairs neighbor
When I can feel the stress through all the medication I'm currently on, you know it's serious.
We're being threatened with eviction.
What precipitated this? The straw to break the camel's back? I got up in the middle of the night to use the john. She banged on the ceiling. I went back to sleep.
The next afternoon, we had the notice on the door, signed by her, of our 7-day notice to cure. As in, don't make noise for the next 12 months, or we'll put forth efforts to evict.
I haven't walked heel-toe in our apartment since we started getting those passive-aggressive letters from her a week ago. I tiptoe to the john after 10 p.m., the animals (well, Figaro) aren't allowed in the bedroom after 10, and we're walking on eggshells when we know she's home. This is no way to live.
The only thing we can think, is that it's the bed. We have the noisiest box spring on the planet. When you get up from that bed, you announce yourself. I'm wondering if we could put a sheet of plywood between the mattress and the box spring to remedy the situation, but you know what? I shouldn't have to. We're not playing the TV or stereo loud after 10, we're not having sex at all hours (well, yeah, ok, at all...), and we don't bang unreasonably up and down the stairs. If the problem is our box spring, does this mean we can't have sex after 10 p.m.? Have to move it to the living room? Yeah, like I'm going to take her feelings into consideration at all if Les gets a wild hair and decides to mate?
The way the notice reads, we could be threatened with eviction for the next 12 months if we accidentally trip over the furniture and wake her ass up. That's 8 more months of our lease and living in a hostile environment. I don't think so.
We're trying to get an appointment with the GM of the complex. I pray we won't have her (the bitch) in the same room when we're explaining our side, because I feel about as rational toward her as I do toward my local sister-in-law right now, who was kind enough to threaten my folks with legal action for money they and my brother didn't owe her. They caved to get her off their backs; I withdrew from all Mandarin Circle yahoo groups that night. I'm done with her. She made my mommie cry.
I can't remember the last time I felt this level of stress. I'm transitioning meds so it was bound to happen. I napped after work yesterday to catch up from the night before and got decent sleep last night in spite of her, so today's going better. Still, I'm dreaming of SC, and we're thinking of leaving Les up there past Labor Day so he can look for work. We'll see.....
We're being threatened with eviction.
What precipitated this? The straw to break the camel's back? I got up in the middle of the night to use the john. She banged on the ceiling. I went back to sleep.
The next afternoon, we had the notice on the door, signed by her, of our 7-day notice to cure. As in, don't make noise for the next 12 months, or we'll put forth efforts to evict.
I haven't walked heel-toe in our apartment since we started getting those passive-aggressive letters from her a week ago. I tiptoe to the john after 10 p.m., the animals (well, Figaro) aren't allowed in the bedroom after 10, and we're walking on eggshells when we know she's home. This is no way to live.
The only thing we can think, is that it's the bed. We have the noisiest box spring on the planet. When you get up from that bed, you announce yourself. I'm wondering if we could put a sheet of plywood between the mattress and the box spring to remedy the situation, but you know what? I shouldn't have to. We're not playing the TV or stereo loud after 10, we're not having sex at all hours (well, yeah, ok, at all...), and we don't bang unreasonably up and down the stairs. If the problem is our box spring, does this mean we can't have sex after 10 p.m.? Have to move it to the living room? Yeah, like I'm going to take her feelings into consideration at all if Les gets a wild hair and decides to mate?
The way the notice reads, we could be threatened with eviction for the next 12 months if we accidentally trip over the furniture and wake her ass up. That's 8 more months of our lease and living in a hostile environment. I don't think so.
We're trying to get an appointment with the GM of the complex. I pray we won't have her (the bitch) in the same room when we're explaining our side, because I feel about as rational toward her as I do toward my local sister-in-law right now, who was kind enough to threaten my folks with legal action for money they and my brother didn't owe her. They caved to get her off their backs; I withdrew from all Mandarin Circle yahoo groups that night. I'm done with her. She made my mommie cry.
I can't remember the last time I felt this level of stress. I'm transitioning meds so it was bound to happen. I napped after work yesterday to catch up from the night before and got decent sleep last night in spite of her, so today's going better. Still, I'm dreaming of SC, and we're thinking of leaving Les up there past Labor Day so he can look for work. We'll see.....
Monday, August 14, 2006
::sigh:: another Monday
So that making-exercise-habit thing? Not as easy as it sounds.
Saturday I slept late, we got up and did some shopping, and then I had to pull myself together for the local Psychic dinner, a fundraiser for our upcoming Pagan Pride Day. It was a nice time, I knit on my sock and socialized, and got some nice soaps and a Disney print at the silent auction. But no exercising that day.
Sunday was a bust. Puttered, did some Avon walk fundraising on the computer, grabbed a nap, played Playstation...and got a ridiculous case of insomnia last night. To make matters worse, our fairly new downstairs neighbor is the lightest sleeper on the planet. She's asked us twice (by passive-aggressive notes on our door) to keep it down after 10, so we've taken to closing the bedroom door so that Figaro doesn't tear ass above her bedroom. But last night she banged on the ceiling because I made noise apparently when I got up to take a leak. So I'm through feeling apologetic about it. We're doing our best, and she can fucking deal with it for 8 more months or move. She's the assistant manager of the complex, so we're feeling kind of threatened, but it's bullshit; we've lived there 8 years with zero complaints prior to now. You don't see us complaining because her dust mop of a dog spends its days barking when Les is trying to sleep (his schedule's backwards from mine). I hope I don't see her anytime soon, because we're destined to have words.
If I give blood today, then I'll put off working out for one more day (company blood drive); otherwise, I'm hitting the treadmill after work if my eyes can stay open. Did NOT get enough sleep last night, and I'm raring for a fight.
Saturday I slept late, we got up and did some shopping, and then I had to pull myself together for the local Psychic dinner, a fundraiser for our upcoming Pagan Pride Day. It was a nice time, I knit on my sock and socialized, and got some nice soaps and a Disney print at the silent auction. But no exercising that day.
Sunday was a bust. Puttered, did some Avon walk fundraising on the computer, grabbed a nap, played Playstation...and got a ridiculous case of insomnia last night. To make matters worse, our fairly new downstairs neighbor is the lightest sleeper on the planet. She's asked us twice (by passive-aggressive notes on our door) to keep it down after 10, so we've taken to closing the bedroom door so that Figaro doesn't tear ass above her bedroom. But last night she banged on the ceiling because I made noise apparently when I got up to take a leak. So I'm through feeling apologetic about it. We're doing our best, and she can fucking deal with it for 8 more months or move. She's the assistant manager of the complex, so we're feeling kind of threatened, but it's bullshit; we've lived there 8 years with zero complaints prior to now. You don't see us complaining because her dust mop of a dog spends its days barking when Les is trying to sleep (his schedule's backwards from mine). I hope I don't see her anytime soon, because we're destined to have words.
If I give blood today, then I'll put off working out for one more day (company blood drive); otherwise, I'm hitting the treadmill after work if my eyes can stay open. Did NOT get enough sleep last night, and I'm raring for a fight.
Friday, August 11, 2006
Vent
We interrupt this normally friendly, PG-13 blog to bring you a word from our sponsors for the day: Greyhound and Smith & Wesson.
CLUSTERFUCK!
A Greyhound heading to Orlando stopped on I-95 before lunch today, because one of its passengers was wearing a trench coat (in 100-degree weather), acting strangely, and trying to open the bus windows. SWAT was dispatched and I-95 was closed down from Baymeadows to Southside in both directions, as authorities ascertained whether the individual was exercising his right to bear arms.
I was heading home in that general direction to get lunch for myself and husby. It became a significant illustration of how people's IQs drop when faced with altered situations. The intersection of Old Baymeadows and Southside is an absolute beast in the best of conditions, but today the lights were on flash. Whether this was to dissuade people from heading toward I-95 or was Murphy the gremlin sitting on the traffic light junction box wringing his hands and twirling his mustache as he wondered how else to fuck with Jacksonville commuters, is unknown.
I am a proponent of scenic routes. If the way in front of me is blocked, then fuck it; I'll go around it somehow, adding minutes onto my route but at least keeping me moving. Instead I was trapped behind some assholes determined to go straight across, against the flow, when there wasn't a cop present yet to direct traffic. So we wait. And wait. I yell at them. Put Linkin Park on the stereo because this level of traffic frustration demands some head-banging rock. Finally, a lone FHPer shows up and I manage to get across without taking my planned scenic route or murdering any civilians.
So ok, I get home. Certainly not going back the same way I came. I head north to Deerwood, to cut across to 9A. Mistake #2. Should've taken JTB. Apparently at lunchtime, EVERYONE who works in Deerwood goes to St. Johns Town Centre for lunch. The traffic for the light at Gate Parkway is backed up to the Residence Inn. Breathe. Crank Linkin Park louder.
Thankfully, 9A was a breeze once I found the sucker, but so much for a relaxing drive on my lunch hour. I'm venting so that I release this and don't stew on it all afternoon. Adding insult to injury, the asshole on the Greyhound wasn't carrying! He was just a little screwier than your average Greyhound patron, if that's possible, and was taken into custody. I'd have been a lot happier if he'd been carrying a gun. Warped, I know.
Anything else I can bitch about? There's not enough chicken in my Wendy's Mandarin Chicken salad, and I definitely should've pilfered more fries from Les's lunch. I'm going back to work now. Don't bother me.
CLUSTERFUCK!
A Greyhound heading to Orlando stopped on I-95 before lunch today, because one of its passengers was wearing a trench coat (in 100-degree weather), acting strangely, and trying to open the bus windows. SWAT was dispatched and I-95 was closed down from Baymeadows to Southside in both directions, as authorities ascertained whether the individual was exercising his right to bear arms.
I was heading home in that general direction to get lunch for myself and husby. It became a significant illustration of how people's IQs drop when faced with altered situations. The intersection of Old Baymeadows and Southside is an absolute beast in the best of conditions, but today the lights were on flash. Whether this was to dissuade people from heading toward I-95 or was Murphy the gremlin sitting on the traffic light junction box wringing his hands and twirling his mustache as he wondered how else to fuck with Jacksonville commuters, is unknown.
I am a proponent of scenic routes. If the way in front of me is blocked, then fuck it; I'll go around it somehow, adding minutes onto my route but at least keeping me moving. Instead I was trapped behind some assholes determined to go straight across, against the flow, when there wasn't a cop present yet to direct traffic. So we wait. And wait. I yell at them. Put Linkin Park on the stereo because this level of traffic frustration demands some head-banging rock. Finally, a lone FHPer shows up and I manage to get across without taking my planned scenic route or murdering any civilians.
So ok, I get home. Certainly not going back the same way I came. I head north to Deerwood, to cut across to 9A. Mistake #2. Should've taken JTB. Apparently at lunchtime, EVERYONE who works in Deerwood goes to St. Johns Town Centre for lunch. The traffic for the light at Gate Parkway is backed up to the Residence Inn. Breathe. Crank Linkin Park louder.
Thankfully, 9A was a breeze once I found the sucker, but so much for a relaxing drive on my lunch hour. I'm venting so that I release this and don't stew on it all afternoon. Adding insult to injury, the asshole on the Greyhound wasn't carrying! He was just a little screwier than your average Greyhound patron, if that's possible, and was taken into custody. I'd have been a lot happier if he'd been carrying a gun. Warped, I know.
Anything else I can bitch about? There's not enough chicken in my Wendy's Mandarin Chicken salad, and I definitely should've pilfered more fries from Les's lunch. I'm going back to work now. Don't bother me.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Fun with website editing
As a website editor for 6+ years now, I thought I'd read everything, as far as the lengths the capitalists will go to, to sell their wares. This was one I'd never seen before though...
Christian ministry site:
If you wish you could do something all over again, click on this coupon to REPENT!
What an idea! Instant online forgiveness! Skip church; just turn on your computer this Sunday to gain absolution!
To all y'all who are chuckling over this as I did, I'll save ya a seat by the fire :)
Christian ministry site:
If you wish you could do something all over again, click on this coupon to REPENT!
What an idea! Instant online forgiveness! Skip church; just turn on your computer this Sunday to gain absolution!
To all y'all who are chuckling over this as I did, I'll save ya a seat by the fire :)
One day at a time...
Exercise...it's like AA but funner.
Ok, it's not funner, but the lift in spirits it gives you more than makes up for the slogging effort required. I feel good today, physically and mentally.
There was no way to realistically pull off the library-to-home walk after work yesterday. The heat was oppressive, in spite of the lurking rain clouds, and the 2nd mile of that stretch would've been entirely sans shade. So I tarried on the fence for just a moment, and then changed and went up to the treadmill. Still sore from yoga the day before, so only did a mile and change, but very glad I went, because I'm giving myself a day off today so I can relax with my bitches tonight. The damn treadmill is still a snore, and I had to ignore a couple of my young ethnic neighbors dicking around on the other equipment initially; but I practiced a kind of focus and it went by faster. I watched the turtles again, and I focused on the reflections of the trees on the still pond.
If I want to pull off the longer stretches in full sun, I'm going to have to do it in the early morning. There's no getting around that until the blasted summer begins to wane. May actually be worth it, since it means getting off that boring-assed treadmill.
The key is making it habit. I know it's only been, hell, less than a week, and I certainly don't expect to lose any weight this week—won't even look. But I'm building up endurance and making exercise a habit. If I just keep building up endurance and don't look at the scale, I won't get discouraged and the miles will take care of themselves. And in the back of my mind is the knowledge that I can do 13.1 miles in a day, because I did 14.5 miles in a day, 4 years ago. I may have been in a world of hurt afterwards, but it was one of the most exhilarating experiences of my life. It's in me, that will. Just gotta match it physically.
Put the realistic email addresses in my Walk page book last night. I'm not sending emails to anyone at their work, unless it's absolutely the only address I have for them. So folks with sketchy or no emails will get snail-mail letters, which means a bunch of stuffing envelopes and more than a few wasted stamps, since I'll make the donation form envelopes SASEs. But it's worth it if I get even a $5 donation from folks. That's all I was able to give Alexa for her walk last weekend, but I know it made a difference.
This weekend, I'll send out the emails and do my mailings. And think about any possible corporate sponsors. And think about selling candy. Also write the letter for my company; the stock may be low right now, but they're in a much better position to donate to me than they were in 2002. Which they didn't even do, the snots.
But tonight is Knitting Bitches, a chance to socialize and work on some sad, neglected UFOs. Thinking of working on the sock and the SSS tonight.
Ok, it's not funner, but the lift in spirits it gives you more than makes up for the slogging effort required. I feel good today, physically and mentally.
There was no way to realistically pull off the library-to-home walk after work yesterday. The heat was oppressive, in spite of the lurking rain clouds, and the 2nd mile of that stretch would've been entirely sans shade. So I tarried on the fence for just a moment, and then changed and went up to the treadmill. Still sore from yoga the day before, so only did a mile and change, but very glad I went, because I'm giving myself a day off today so I can relax with my bitches tonight. The damn treadmill is still a snore, and I had to ignore a couple of my young ethnic neighbors dicking around on the other equipment initially; but I practiced a kind of focus and it went by faster. I watched the turtles again, and I focused on the reflections of the trees on the still pond.
If I want to pull off the longer stretches in full sun, I'm going to have to do it in the early morning. There's no getting around that until the blasted summer begins to wane. May actually be worth it, since it means getting off that boring-assed treadmill.
The key is making it habit. I know it's only been, hell, less than a week, and I certainly don't expect to lose any weight this week—won't even look. But I'm building up endurance and making exercise a habit. If I just keep building up endurance and don't look at the scale, I won't get discouraged and the miles will take care of themselves. And in the back of my mind is the knowledge that I can do 13.1 miles in a day, because I did 14.5 miles in a day, 4 years ago. I may have been in a world of hurt afterwards, but it was one of the most exhilarating experiences of my life. It's in me, that will. Just gotta match it physically.
Put the realistic email addresses in my Walk page book last night. I'm not sending emails to anyone at their work, unless it's absolutely the only address I have for them. So folks with sketchy or no emails will get snail-mail letters, which means a bunch of stuffing envelopes and more than a few wasted stamps, since I'll make the donation form envelopes SASEs. But it's worth it if I get even a $5 donation from folks. That's all I was able to give Alexa for her walk last weekend, but I know it made a difference.
This weekend, I'll send out the emails and do my mailings. And think about any possible corporate sponsors. And think about selling candy. Also write the letter for my company; the stock may be low right now, but they're in a much better position to donate to me than they were in 2002. Which they didn't even do, the snots.
But tonight is Knitting Bitches, a chance to socialize and work on some sad, neglected UFOs. Thinking of working on the sock and the SSS tonight.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Native Sun Baymeadows is open!!!
Ain't she a beauty?
If anybody's looking for me Saturday, umm, I think I'll be here.
At least in the morning. This organic grocer's masterpiece features 18,000 square feet of healthy foods, from their free-range rotisserie chickens to their smoothie bar to their fresh organic produce. I'd like to take an hour just to wander slowly up and down the aisles, educating myself. Then I'll do a light shop, since their prices are probably a shade more than I'm used to, and I'll top it off with a visit to their smoothie bar.
Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.....
Doesn't mean as much for the Mandarin folks probably; the first Native Sun is right on San Jose here in Jax, which is kind of the heart of Mandarin, but the added size and brandnewness of the Baymeadows store is probably worth at least one trip to the complex on the corner of 9A. For me, it's frickin' ideal, just 3 miles from my place and stocked to the gills with food that's gotta be infinitely better for us than the Winn-Dixie fare we so often settle on...we hit W/D often, because their prices are so damn low and you don't necessarily have to wear a bra when you shop, because the clientele there is so skanky.....
But now that I'm getting healthy, one step at a time, it's time to get serious about what we put in our bodies. I've been buying more juice lately, the good stuff like Apple & Eve or Juicy Juice, and we've been actually eating the vegetables before they go bad. Having Native Sun this close is a great help, and I hope to indulge in their goods often as we change over from the land of starch and fat to the land of green.
Nose to the grindstone
Fast update...
Did Kathy Smith's New Yoga Basics yesterday after work. It's a good beginner's yoga workout, has relaxation techniques, cat and dog, downward dog, standing poses, warrior poses, and utilizes the strap, wall, and chair for optimal positioning. I broke a sweat doing it, but did almost every position with slight modifications for my size.
Today after work, I'm going to have Les drop me off at the library and I'll walk home from there. It's 2 miles and change, per Mapquest.
Drafted 2 fundraising letters last night. Will assess needs tonight and maybe fill out the name/participant # on some of my donation forms. Needs being envelopes and stamps for purchase on Friday (payday), so that I can do a mass mailing on the weekend. Another good project would be entering the email addys into the Avon Personal page address book, of the folks I intend to bombard by email next week.
It's coming together. And my determination about exercising feels good :)
Did Kathy Smith's New Yoga Basics yesterday after work. It's a good beginner's yoga workout, has relaxation techniques, cat and dog, downward dog, standing poses, warrior poses, and utilizes the strap, wall, and chair for optimal positioning. I broke a sweat doing it, but did almost every position with slight modifications for my size.
Today after work, I'm going to have Les drop me off at the library and I'll walk home from there. It's 2 miles and change, per Mapquest.
Drafted 2 fundraising letters last night. Will assess needs tonight and maybe fill out the name/participant # on some of my donation forms. Needs being envelopes and stamps for purchase on Friday (payday), so that I can do a mass mailing on the weekend. Another good project would be entering the email addys into the Avon Personal page address book, of the folks I intend to bombard by email next week.
It's coming together. And my determination about exercising feels good :)
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Tuesday
When I start off my morning by spilling coffee down the front of my shirt, I find it's difficult to then ascertain in a positive manner, how the rest of the day's gonna fly.
I'll try though.
We are a self-centered people, that's for sure. As I sat there, flapping my shirt dry while waiting for a light to turn green, all I could think of was the people looking into my car wondering what the hell I was doing. Never mind that the normal individual behind the wheel at that hour is doing the same thing I am: rubbing sleep out of eyes, praying for caffeine to take hold, and in the case of this week, thanking god that the kids are back in school.
Knitting and moving organization are taking a back seat this week as I strive to get myself on an exercise schedule and get my fundraising in order. Problem is, I'm so out of shape that the exercise sucks me dry and leaves little energy for thinking about fundraising. On the plus side, I was in bed by 10:30. On the minus side, we ate dinner so late that it feels like I dreamt all night. :P I've made a list of family and friends (outside of community) that are getting letters by snail or email; now I've just gotta write the suckers.
Did a mile and a half on the treadmill last night, and to my chagrin, it's a perfectly viable alternative to outdoor walking. I say that because I'd much rather be outdoors, but it's just way too damn hot right now. Treadmills bore the crap out of me, but on the plus side, the A/C is terrific, and ours is situated facing the retention pond in back of the office. You know how on TV, you see rich folks working their stationary bikes with a view playing on a screen in front of them, like they're biking down a country road or something. Well, I had them beat last night with a great view of feeding time for the turtles in our pond. Had no idea there were so many of them! Small, medium, and large turtles were poking their heads out, diving down for food, and occasionally tustling in the water.
I don't know what to do about my hair. I never should have cut the layers off; it's at shoulder length and vexing the hell out of me. Every time I work out, I'm frustrated, because I had the front edges angled, so it won't hold a bun now; and the damn ponytail gives me ruthee syndrome, brushing on the back of my neck. I don't want to cut it again, but I really don't know if my patience will hold out through my training.
Geez, I'm chatty this morning.
I'll try though.
We are a self-centered people, that's for sure. As I sat there, flapping my shirt dry while waiting for a light to turn green, all I could think of was the people looking into my car wondering what the hell I was doing. Never mind that the normal individual behind the wheel at that hour is doing the same thing I am: rubbing sleep out of eyes, praying for caffeine to take hold, and in the case of this week, thanking god that the kids are back in school.
Knitting and moving organization are taking a back seat this week as I strive to get myself on an exercise schedule and get my fundraising in order. Problem is, I'm so out of shape that the exercise sucks me dry and leaves little energy for thinking about fundraising. On the plus side, I was in bed by 10:30. On the minus side, we ate dinner so late that it feels like I dreamt all night. :P I've made a list of family and friends (outside of community) that are getting letters by snail or email; now I've just gotta write the suckers.
Did a mile and a half on the treadmill last night, and to my chagrin, it's a perfectly viable alternative to outdoor walking. I say that because I'd much rather be outdoors, but it's just way too damn hot right now. Treadmills bore the crap out of me, but on the plus side, the A/C is terrific, and ours is situated facing the retention pond in back of the office. You know how on TV, you see rich folks working their stationary bikes with a view playing on a screen in front of them, like they're biking down a country road or something. Well, I had them beat last night with a great view of feeding time for the turtles in our pond. Had no idea there were so many of them! Small, medium, and large turtles were poking their heads out, diving down for food, and occasionally tustling in the water.
I don't know what to do about my hair. I never should have cut the layers off; it's at shoulder length and vexing the hell out of me. Every time I work out, I'm frustrated, because I had the front edges angled, so it won't hold a bun now; and the damn ponytail gives me ruthee syndrome, brushing on the back of my neck. I don't want to cut it again, but I really don't know if my patience will hold out through my training.
Geez, I'm chatty this morning.
Monday, August 07, 2006
Love is.....
...finding a dozen yellow roses on the driver's seat when you unlock the car to head for work on a Monday morning.
::sigh:: Husbies are wonderful creatures. And remember folks, I didn't have to train him; he came this way :)
I'm out of shape and this weather ain't helping. Did a measly mile and a half on Saturday morning, was a little sore Sunday, and today I still feel dehydrated. Going to have to knuckle down and hit the treadmill at our complex. And if that's not working, I'll be getting up really damn early. Sucks, but entirely necessary if I don't want to completely wreck myself come October.
This weekend was almost a wash, but did get to see my nephew, which was really nice. Haven't seen him in like, 8 months, due to lousy relations with his mom, my bro's ex. Barely knitted...geez, what did I accomplish this weekend? Oh well, no use kicking myself, just keep moving forward...tonight is thank you cards for my first two donations for the walk, and starting to draft fundraising letters for the rest of my clan, plus some friends, past and present.
::sigh:: Husbies are wonderful creatures. And remember folks, I didn't have to train him; he came this way :)
I'm out of shape and this weather ain't helping. Did a measly mile and a half on Saturday morning, was a little sore Sunday, and today I still feel dehydrated. Going to have to knuckle down and hit the treadmill at our complex. And if that's not working, I'll be getting up really damn early. Sucks, but entirely necessary if I don't want to completely wreck myself come October.
This weekend was almost a wash, but did get to see my nephew, which was really nice. Haven't seen him in like, 8 months, due to lousy relations with his mom, my bro's ex. Barely knitted...geez, what did I accomplish this weekend? Oh well, no use kicking myself, just keep moving forward...tonight is thank you cards for my first two donations for the walk, and starting to draft fundraising letters for the rest of my clan, plus some friends, past and present.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Crunch time
I'm one of those folks who work well under stress. Surprising, I know. I got my best grades in college the semester I held down a part-time job in addition to a full load of classes. Once, for a writing class (Narration & Description), we had to spend a couple of weeks laying out and writing a long story, using all the necessary preparatory tools (idea, notecards, first outline, second outline, rough draft, blah, blah, blah). Helluva time for me to develop writer's block, but I'm not great at forcing myself to create characters, and the brain just wasn't cranking it out. I begged off on preliminary drafts because there just wasn't anything there. About 2 days before the whole thing's due, the muse hits and I crank out 23 pages of story. This is the late '80s, folks; we're talking longhand and then transcribing to my typewriter. I got a B+.
I may be pushing it on this latest goal, but inspiration hit this past weekend, and I can't ignore how badly I still want to do this, so here goes. I'm participating in the Charlotte 2006 Avon Walk.
See, I was planning on starting myself on a healthy regimen anyway, in the hopes of losing some weight by Thanksgiving, so that we can start trying for a small person. So it's just idiotic not to participate in the walk. It's only a month earlier than my goal, and the money I'll raise will do so much good. Never mind how fantastically excellent I'll feel about myself too. I still get a thrill from my accomplishment at the NY Avon Walk in 2002, and that sucker only lasted 1 day.
So if you're reading this, it means you'll be hit up by me for donations and moral support very soon. I'm organizing my fundraising this week, and starting to train. Luckily, I woke up about this right at the 12-week mark before the walk, so there's a training program all laid out for me by Avon. Now I've just gotta lace up the shoes and get going!
My Personal Walk Page
Avon Walk for Breast Cancer
Friday, July 28, 2006
Knitting for once
One thing I did while in SC was get back in a knitting groove. All that waiting room time helped; poor Kara was induced at 10ish Monday night and enjoyed epidurals and labor fun for 24 hours afterward. I'm still catching up on sleep, so she must be a wreck.
Funny thing is it all involved newer projects, not UFOs. My sweater and SSS have fallen to the wayside once again, poor troopers that they are. Instead I worked a simple feather-and-fan scarf in the 100% wool that Mom J found for me at Tuesday Morning awhile back. It's an irritating project for some reason, but I'm determined to get it done.
I also jumped back into the White Buffalo fray. Using the Cape May Knitty pattern as a guide, I started what I hope will be a very nice cape. I have 5 pucks of Seal Heather Brown (like at left), 3 pucks of Turquoise, and 1 puck of Slate. I haven't decided how to integrate the Turquoise; ;this may be my first delving into mixing colors, because the idea of just a large stripe of the Turquoise sounds pretty bland, in addition to not at all slimming. Ideally, I shouldn't be working in bulky yarn for myself if I listen to the Big Girl Knits gals, but I can't resist—this yarn is gorgeous. So I'm thinking of the Turquoise in a wave over the Seal Brown, and then the Slate at top, possibly in a collar of sorts, because I'm not crazy about the ribbon they have in the pattern. I'm thinking of a couple of huge buttons at top instead. Also haven't decided if I'm putting armholes in. Given the weight of the yarn, it's probably not a dumb idea, but it's not in the pattern so I'd be kind of flying solo. Never a good thing craftwise with me, without a lot of planning first, so we'll see. Nice thing about White Buffalo is it knits up fast; I'm almost done with my 2nd puck of the Seal Brown already :)
The third thing I did was ::deep breath:: frogged my entire first attempt at a sock. Poor little guy has been sitting abandoned on the needles for the better part of a year now, because the blasted heel and gusset area just vexed me to no end. I shouldn't say little; I'd knitted a decent 8 inches of shaft on the sucker. But upon inspection, I knew it wouldn't fit me in the least with my big feet and cankles, and if I'm going to go to the trouble of handknitting socks, I'm gonna be wearing them, that's for sure. So I searched Monday for a decent sock recipe and found Thuja, which is busy enough to keep me interested and much more geared to my big honkin' feet. I'm going to try starting it on the metal 6s that Carrie gave me last year in my b'day basket. I'd love to get me some Clover 6s—I've become a real bamboo snob of late, but there's no way I can afford any knitting purchases for the near future. Will probably give this one a try tonight; wish me luck!
Thursday, July 27, 2006
I'M AN AUNT AGAIN!!!!!
It kills me I don't have a picture yet to show off. She's really a beautiful baby.
My sisinlaw Kara gave birth to her first on Tuesday night at 10:39 p.m. Kylie Kincade Johnson-Burnett was 7 lbs. 1 oz., 19¼ inches long, and came complete with all her fingers and toes and a full head of dark brown hair. I'm not talking peach fuzz; the stuff on top was at least an inch long! I stood and watched Tuesday night from the window of the nursery as they hosed her down and checked under the hood. She barely cried, and I found I couldn't take my eyes off her. Relatives came and went to get food for the mom or head home, and I just stayed at that window.
Got to hold her yesterday, and it felt like second nature after holding the small package that is Terra's little one so recently. She slept the whole time, making the occasional yawn or mouth movement that's not quite a suckle, but she manages to stick her tongue out at you. I wish we could go right back on the weekend, but gas prices being what they are, it's unrealistic; and besides, Kara really needs time to herself to settle in as a mommie without so much family around. My mominlaw, who will be visiting Kara often enough to make that impossible (they live right down the street from each other), is a freak of medical science; she's been so wrapped up in her daughter's pregnancy and subsequent birthing of her first granddaughter, that it kicked her out of menopause! Can you imagine getting your period at the age of 61?! Whacked!
It's got me so determined to get our lives in order. I want to lose 25 pounds by Thanksgiving, Halloween be damned, and then start trying. Les knows, I talked it over with him too, LOL! I'm already weaning off caffeine, switching and weaning on my meds, stopped drinking, and trying to eat healthier. Add exercise and we could just have a recipe for success. Wish me luck!
My sisinlaw Kara gave birth to her first on Tuesday night at 10:39 p.m. Kylie Kincade Johnson-Burnett was 7 lbs. 1 oz., 19¼ inches long, and came complete with all her fingers and toes and a full head of dark brown hair. I'm not talking peach fuzz; the stuff on top was at least an inch long! I stood and watched Tuesday night from the window of the nursery as they hosed her down and checked under the hood. She barely cried, and I found I couldn't take my eyes off her. Relatives came and went to get food for the mom or head home, and I just stayed at that window.
Got to hold her yesterday, and it felt like second nature after holding the small package that is Terra's little one so recently. She slept the whole time, making the occasional yawn or mouth movement that's not quite a suckle, but she manages to stick her tongue out at you. I wish we could go right back on the weekend, but gas prices being what they are, it's unrealistic; and besides, Kara really needs time to herself to settle in as a mommie without so much family around. My mominlaw, who will be visiting Kara often enough to make that impossible (they live right down the street from each other), is a freak of medical science; she's been so wrapped up in her daughter's pregnancy and subsequent birthing of her first granddaughter, that it kicked her out of menopause! Can you imagine getting your period at the age of 61?! Whacked!
It's got me so determined to get our lives in order. I want to lose 25 pounds by Thanksgiving, Halloween be damned, and then start trying. Les knows, I talked it over with him too, LOL! I'm already weaning off caffeine, switching and weaning on my meds, stopped drinking, and trying to eat healthier. Add exercise and we could just have a recipe for success. Wish me luck!
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