Site keeps giving me error messages...don't even know if this'll post.
Husby sick with bronchial symptoms and 103 fever, and I can't take care of him because he's in SC. The frustration is rather palpable.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Cold & warmth
Winter arrived this week in Florida, finally. Temps down to freezing at night. I forgot to cover the plants, and right when the fern had shown signs of revival. Gonna have to do it tonight; it's supposed to freeze again. Deliciously, wonderfully cold. Crisp air, scarf-wearing, cold. I turned the heat on last night because I'd let it get down to 64ish in the apartment, and I figured the cats might be needing a bit of warmth. Gonna have to learn to temper my personal irresponsibility about things like that when there are small people afoot.
The warmth comes from phone talks with Husby. This separation and the things happening in his family are actually good for us. It's giving him perspective and making him want to do more, do right by our relationship, our little family. Talking about getting back in work mode, talking about making small people. We both kind of wish we could abscond with our niece, because she's this adorable creature who's going to grow up in a family that's not stable or entirely healthy. But we also recognize that until we have our own, we have zero experience and thus must keep our opinions to ourselves. Still, a childless outsider would see how self-centered his sister is. We all hoped that that would change when Kylie came along. If anything, it's gotten worse. It's sad and baffling.
Haven't been knitting much this week yet...did laundry and half the dishes last night, will do more tonight. I want Les to come home to a clean foyer, if not a clean house, so I'll spend time tonight doing dumpster trips to get rid of the rest of the newspapers and maybe a couple of computer monitors so I can move our main system back to the dining room table. God we need a computer desk! I can't imagine wanting any more furniture, but we do need that. Also I'm back on the fence regarding my couch, because it really is comfortable. Heck, right now it's more comfortable than the long couch, thanks to the broken springs in the middle. I'm going to try adding some old pillows under the cushions this week sometime, see if the bolstering helps. I'd love to stitch the holes in the seat cushions too, but I doubt I'll have time for all that before he gets back. Baby steps.
I'm still not headachy. What am I doing right? Still not eating great, and didn't get to walk yesterday because I had to grocery shop after work. I'm a shade more active, but nothing to write home about. I may not knit again tonight, because in between cleaning, NCIS, and SVU (still no House :( wah!), I really want to tuck into one or more of those books I found at the libe. There's a brand-new one that's geared just for women of size, I think it's called Big, Beautiful, & Pregnant, and while I don't have the third one yet, it should prove informative.
The warmth comes from phone talks with Husby. This separation and the things happening in his family are actually good for us. It's giving him perspective and making him want to do more, do right by our relationship, our little family. Talking about getting back in work mode, talking about making small people. We both kind of wish we could abscond with our niece, because she's this adorable creature who's going to grow up in a family that's not stable or entirely healthy. But we also recognize that until we have our own, we have zero experience and thus must keep our opinions to ourselves. Still, a childless outsider would see how self-centered his sister is. We all hoped that that would change when Kylie came along. If anything, it's gotten worse. It's sad and baffling.
Haven't been knitting much this week yet...did laundry and half the dishes last night, will do more tonight. I want Les to come home to a clean foyer, if not a clean house, so I'll spend time tonight doing dumpster trips to get rid of the rest of the newspapers and maybe a couple of computer monitors so I can move our main system back to the dining room table. God we need a computer desk! I can't imagine wanting any more furniture, but we do need that. Also I'm back on the fence regarding my couch, because it really is comfortable. Heck, right now it's more comfortable than the long couch, thanks to the broken springs in the middle. I'm going to try adding some old pillows under the cushions this week sometime, see if the bolstering helps. I'd love to stitch the holes in the seat cushions too, but I doubt I'll have time for all that before he gets back. Baby steps.
I'm still not headachy. What am I doing right? Still not eating great, and didn't get to walk yesterday because I had to grocery shop after work. I'm a shade more active, but nothing to write home about. I may not knit again tonight, because in between cleaning, NCIS, and SVU (still no House :( wah!), I really want to tuck into one or more of those books I found at the libe. There's a brand-new one that's geared just for women of size, I think it's called Big, Beautiful, & Pregnant, and while I don't have the third one yet, it should prove informative.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Woman of leisure
Husby no here :(
He stayed in SC to help his family for a couple of days. We expected it, but it was still hard. Driving home by myself wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be, but I'm floating around in a kind of alternate universe without him, and it's only been 24 hours. The drive was lovely actually. In pristine conditions, it takes about 4.75 hours to get from Aiken to Jacksonville; I made it in about 5.25 with stops and a snarl of traffic in Jax due to an accident at the 95/10 interchange. The weather was sunny, and I got to listen to most of Garrison's show on the radio. I got home last night, ate, unpacked a bit, read the Columbia paper I'd bought, checked my email, just puttered, but it was definitely off not having him there. I think Figaro's at a loss too; spent the first 10 minutes giving off these little meows that said, hey, bitch, what'd you do with Dad?
Today, still in that alternate universe. Got my breakfast this morning no problem, but forgot a hair scrunchy, and I ALWAYS keep a spare in my purse for when the mane tries my patience. I'm actually looking forward to cleaning house tonight, doing the dishes and cleaning out the fridge, tidying up and moving stuff around. We're hoping he'll be back after a week; I think he's there at least through the coming weekend, because part of what he's doing there will include helping his dad, who works full-time (thus has limited ability to get projects done).
This past weekend was a Columbia scouting weekend, so not much knitting, but I puttered on the SSS just a bit, and I'm almost at the point of starting the heel on mr. sock. Should be focusing solely on those two this week.
He stayed in SC to help his family for a couple of days. We expected it, but it was still hard. Driving home by myself wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be, but I'm floating around in a kind of alternate universe without him, and it's only been 24 hours. The drive was lovely actually. In pristine conditions, it takes about 4.75 hours to get from Aiken to Jacksonville; I made it in about 5.25 with stops and a snarl of traffic in Jax due to an accident at the 95/10 interchange. The weather was sunny, and I got to listen to most of Garrison's show on the radio. I got home last night, ate, unpacked a bit, read the Columbia paper I'd bought, checked my email, just puttered, but it was definitely off not having him there. I think Figaro's at a loss too; spent the first 10 minutes giving off these little meows that said, hey, bitch, what'd you do with Dad?
Today, still in that alternate universe. Got my breakfast this morning no problem, but forgot a hair scrunchy, and I ALWAYS keep a spare in my purse for when the mane tries my patience. I'm actually looking forward to cleaning house tonight, doing the dishes and cleaning out the fridge, tidying up and moving stuff around. We're hoping he'll be back after a week; I think he's there at least through the coming weekend, because part of what he's doing there will include helping his dad, who works full-time (thus has limited ability to get projects done).
This past weekend was a Columbia scouting weekend, so not much knitting, but I puttered on the SSS just a bit, and I'm almost at the point of starting the heel on mr. sock. Should be focusing solely on those two this week.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Hump day ramblings
No more whining about hormones and PCOS on this blog. Made a whole new, fresh blog specifically for that purpose :) I consider whining pretty counterproductive though, so hopefully it'll be a good place for me to learn about myself instead. Keeping it private tho', since not everyone needs to hear or listen about my ovaries ::wry grin::, so if you're curious, let me know and I'll invite you on...
No real news on Les's sis. He said they've done a barium scan, a CAT scan, and an MRI, and are awaiting results. Since she's basically a no-pay, I'll be surprised if they've actually done an MRI. He's still in town, but we're preparing ourselves for the very real option that he'll stay up there to help after this weekend. We head out tomorrow night. I'm spending my TV time tonight planning enough scouting for both Friday and Saturday, so we don't get roped into a whole lot of helping out initially. I mean, of course I want to help, but these weekends are precious and will go by all too quickly. Do I sound self-centered? Don't mean to be...
Main UFO getting attention this week is the SSS, though I'm sure I'll bring a little something else up to SC so I don't go 'round the bend with boredom. Just did a count: an average of 66 stitches per section x 8 sections = approximately 528 stitches at present. Not bad. Gotta check the book, see what their estimates are for the end point. Since I'm working 3 sizes smaller than the pattern, will need a little math to take that into account. I'm starting to think I'll want more length than just 2 balls of Shadow. Luckily my newly improved stash has several options for continuing...I could add a ball of turquoise Shimmer or silver-grey Alpaca Cloud, or the burgundy Shadow. I'm getting excited about changing colors!
No real news on Les's sis. He said they've done a barium scan, a CAT scan, and an MRI, and are awaiting results. Since she's basically a no-pay, I'll be surprised if they've actually done an MRI. He's still in town, but we're preparing ourselves for the very real option that he'll stay up there to help after this weekend. We head out tomorrow night. I'm spending my TV time tonight planning enough scouting for both Friday and Saturday, so we don't get roped into a whole lot of helping out initially. I mean, of course I want to help, but these weekends are precious and will go by all too quickly. Do I sound self-centered? Don't mean to be...
Main UFO getting attention this week is the SSS, though I'm sure I'll bring a little something else up to SC so I don't go 'round the bend with boredom. Just did a count: an average of 66 stitches per section x 8 sections = approximately 528 stitches at present. Not bad. Gotta check the book, see what their estimates are for the end point. Since I'm working 3 sizes smaller than the pattern, will need a little math to take that into account. I'm starting to think I'll want more length than just 2 balls of Shadow. Luckily my newly improved stash has several options for continuing...I could add a ball of turquoise Shimmer or silver-grey Alpaca Cloud, or the burgundy Shadow. I'm getting excited about changing colors!
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Tuesday musings
Les might go up to SC early this week; his sis is having health issues and there's no one to watch the baby.
Knit 3 rows on the SSS last night!
Was pricing rental trucks yesterday; initial estimates quite a bit higher than I remember, but it just dawned on me why they were such a shock. The only time I've moved myself was the last time, when we moved from Bay Pointe to Auburn Glen. We're talking about a trek of oh say, 5 miles tops. My moves from Jax to Tampa to Fort Myers to Jax were all courtesy of AMC Theaters; didn't have to think twice about it. So time to suck it up and look ahead to that expense as well as the intro expenses involved in renting a new place.
Work still boring. Health still in holding pattern, but Alexa sent me a great article on PCOS that's helping me focus my studies on the subject. Library helping too. Wonder if I can send Kim-Ashchi emails...to read my ultrasound results, it sounds like I have garden-variety cysts as opposed to polycystic syndrome, but there's probably little difference since my hormones are definitely reacting according to PCOS symptomology (swings, acne, grr!). Polycystic ovaries are apparently created by immature eggs sneaking out and rather than traveling down the fallopian tube, they embed themselves in the outer layer of the ovary. Ovary becomes confused, shoots more hormones through the body, goofs up the cycle. Thank the goddess I'm not growing extra hair anyplace! Apparently that's a popular symptom (yeesh!). But instead of the "string of pearls" shape described in the literature, my results just talk about 1 cyst apiece. So either I caught it exceptionally early or it isn't quite the same thing. Either way, one thing's clear: diet and exercise are key. The only thing holding me back is me. That's more than a little frustrating, because between this and my age, it's had me thinking that maybe I should have let Dr. Kim-Ashchi start me on fertility meds like she wanted. But a) we're not trying yet, and b) it would be like giving me permission not to try as hard to get healthy somehow. I'm having a hard enough time wrapping my mind around it when the only thing blocking me is myself. For me, this'll sound extreme, but it's going to come down to every time I'm talking myself out of walking or talking myself into a Mallomar, I'm going to have to say to myself, how badly do you want a child? People always talk about needing to do something for yourself, not for anybody else. But for me, doing it for me isn't enough; I just don't respect myself enough. But I want a child with Les so deeply it defies words, so the prospect of creating a precious someone will carry me forward.
Knit 3 rows on the SSS last night!
Was pricing rental trucks yesterday; initial estimates quite a bit higher than I remember, but it just dawned on me why they were such a shock. The only time I've moved myself was the last time, when we moved from Bay Pointe to Auburn Glen. We're talking about a trek of oh say, 5 miles tops. My moves from Jax to Tampa to Fort Myers to Jax were all courtesy of AMC Theaters; didn't have to think twice about it. So time to suck it up and look ahead to that expense as well as the intro expenses involved in renting a new place.
Work still boring. Health still in holding pattern, but Alexa sent me a great article on PCOS that's helping me focus my studies on the subject. Library helping too. Wonder if I can send Kim-Ashchi emails...to read my ultrasound results, it sounds like I have garden-variety cysts as opposed to polycystic syndrome, but there's probably little difference since my hormones are definitely reacting according to PCOS symptomology (swings, acne, grr!). Polycystic ovaries are apparently created by immature eggs sneaking out and rather than traveling down the fallopian tube, they embed themselves in the outer layer of the ovary. Ovary becomes confused, shoots more hormones through the body, goofs up the cycle. Thank the goddess I'm not growing extra hair anyplace! Apparently that's a popular symptom (yeesh!). But instead of the "string of pearls" shape described in the literature, my results just talk about 1 cyst apiece. So either I caught it exceptionally early or it isn't quite the same thing. Either way, one thing's clear: diet and exercise are key. The only thing holding me back is me. That's more than a little frustrating, because between this and my age, it's had me thinking that maybe I should have let Dr. Kim-Ashchi start me on fertility meds like she wanted. But a) we're not trying yet, and b) it would be like giving me permission not to try as hard to get healthy somehow. I'm having a hard enough time wrapping my mind around it when the only thing blocking me is myself. For me, this'll sound extreme, but it's going to come down to every time I'm talking myself out of walking or talking myself into a Mallomar, I'm going to have to say to myself, how badly do you want a child? People always talk about needing to do something for yourself, not for anybody else. But for me, doing it for me isn't enough; I just don't respect myself enough. But I want a child with Les so deeply it defies words, so the prospect of creating a precious someone will carry me forward.
Friday, January 19, 2007
40 Years
Tim and Virginia Lyons celebrate 40 years of marriage on Sunday, January 21, 2007.
This still, as I write it, kind of baffles me. I remember my past with a child's subjectivity, and my memory never thought they'd make it this far. It's a relationship that's evolved, to be sure. Meara says that she was raised by two different people than Cyril and I were, and there's definite truth in that. I witnessed so much fighting, so much beratement and disrespect, that I wasn't sure I'd ever want to get married. I never understood how they could spew such venom at each other and stay together. To this day, Mom can go day after day hearing her own shortcomings, and I don't think she's ever truly conjured the necessary strength to say back to him, "if you don't have something nice to say, shut the fuck up!" And he's never left, never reached a point of no return on his frustration at her role in the lack of perfection in his life.
Because deep down, they are a good match, albeit a bit tweaked, and they've both evolved; she's developed a slightly thicker skin, he's gone a little mellow and a lot more fragile. Really, his health being what it is, there's no question now as to why they're still together, but to have gotten this far...I guess I still don't get it, because I'm very lucky in who I found to share my life with. We respect each other, try to treat each other as equals, our love surpasses our obstacles, and as a result we rarely fight at all, and if we do, it's not in a manner that berates or humiliates the other person. I'll occasionally pick a fight when it feels like we need to clear the air; otherwise we co-exist rather beautifully. I'm sure having kids will screw the hell outta that :) And then again, maybe it won't, because we've had all this great time together building such a solid relationship.
Anyway, some luck jumped into this weekend. My dad has 2 brothers now; Tom lives in Clearwater and Dan lives up in Norwalk, CT. Dan & Karen are visiting Florida, so Dad and Mom are going down to Tom & Denyse's to visit on Saturday, and then they'll come home Sunday, bringing Dan & Karen with them, so we can celebrate on their anniversary. Cyril will have Hunter that day too; looking forward to seeing my beautiful nephew!
This still, as I write it, kind of baffles me. I remember my past with a child's subjectivity, and my memory never thought they'd make it this far. It's a relationship that's evolved, to be sure. Meara says that she was raised by two different people than Cyril and I were, and there's definite truth in that. I witnessed so much fighting, so much beratement and disrespect, that I wasn't sure I'd ever want to get married. I never understood how they could spew such venom at each other and stay together. To this day, Mom can go day after day hearing her own shortcomings, and I don't think she's ever truly conjured the necessary strength to say back to him, "if you don't have something nice to say, shut the fuck up!" And he's never left, never reached a point of no return on his frustration at her role in the lack of perfection in his life.
Because deep down, they are a good match, albeit a bit tweaked, and they've both evolved; she's developed a slightly thicker skin, he's gone a little mellow and a lot more fragile. Really, his health being what it is, there's no question now as to why they're still together, but to have gotten this far...I guess I still don't get it, because I'm very lucky in who I found to share my life with. We respect each other, try to treat each other as equals, our love surpasses our obstacles, and as a result we rarely fight at all, and if we do, it's not in a manner that berates or humiliates the other person. I'll occasionally pick a fight when it feels like we need to clear the air; otherwise we co-exist rather beautifully. I'm sure having kids will screw the hell outta that :) And then again, maybe it won't, because we've had all this great time together building such a solid relationship.
Anyway, some luck jumped into this weekend. My dad has 2 brothers now; Tom lives in Clearwater and Dan lives up in Norwalk, CT. Dan & Karen are visiting Florida, so Dad and Mom are going down to Tom & Denyse's to visit on Saturday, and then they'll come home Sunday, bringing Dan & Karen with them, so we can celebrate on their anniversary. Cyril will have Hunter that day too; looking forward to seeing my beautiful nephew!
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Fiber on the brain
I've fallen in love with the Irish Diamond shawl from Folk Shawls (shown above, snuck them from http://www.jenipurr.com/knitpurr-gallery/shawls_and_stoles/irish_diamond_shawl.html and http://www.angelfire.com/home/avital/laceknit.html). This sucker's gorgeous, ginormous, and perfect for my 5 skeins of Grape Jelly Shadow. The color's actually a lot richer than what they have pictured in that link. However, I'm going to practice an interesting level of patience on this one. I'm not going to start it until I've finished the SSS. Why, you ask? It just makes sense to finish one big lace project before starting another, and besides, you start the Irish Diamond on size 7/24s and guess what the SSS is on... Also, I'm thinking of doing Cozy with the Nutmeg Merino Style. Wow, again, the color swatch for Nutmeg on the site doesn't do it justice; this yarn has a nice softness and is the color of coffee ice cream. YUM! But I should probably be a good little doobie and finish the feather n' fan scarf and get further on mr. sock before I start something else new.
Cable capelet idea has gone on the shelf...I can work acrylic anytime. Also pulled out the needles on the purple thin chenille scarf that I started over Christmas, because I needed the size 9s and I couldn't remember what pattern I was doing there anyway. Worked and goofed a bit of the pie-wedge bottom of that bag last night (NCIS was distracting me), but I frogged it a titch and got back on track. Can afford errors here and there, since the whole thing's getting felted anyway.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Seriously!
That title line's my nod to Grey's Anatomy grabbing Best Drama last night at the Golden Globes. Also giving a shout out to the beautiful Sister of the Traveling Pants, America Ferrara for her Ugly Betty Globe, and the extraordinary talent that is Hugh Laurie, for his Globe for House.
That title line could also be a nod to how sick I am of myself. Seriously! You may notice that about 4 blog entries vanished from my Lighthouse. That's because I looked back over the ole blog and what I read made me furious. I have no respect for people who whine like that. Meds or no meds, there's no excuse for the level of "poor me" that's been occuring here of late. I'm overwhelmed at present, and my mood swings have more than 1 source, but you know what...I'm still me, and that's a me that I've been pretty proud of, the last 10 years or so. So I'm dusting myself off.
UFO party this weekend, so what do I do? Start more UFOs :) Last night it was the pie wedge bottom of a potential bag, as well as rolling the Colorwaves that was being difficult into a ball, so that I can start the large cable capelet tonight. Gotta do some gauge figuring on that one...Lion Brand calls Color Waves a bulky yarn, which is a joke, plus the pattern calls for 17s and I'll be using 13s. Thing is, their gauge formula's a shade confusing: 7 stitches @ 11 rows = 4 inches. So I actually knit that micro-gauge swatch (call the papers!), and on 13s, it's only 2 inches. Ok, so does that mean I'll be needing twice as much yarn? And how does that tell me how many more stitches I need to add to attain the necessary gauge with the 13s? I know it'll come clear when I'm focusing on it tonight, but right now, it's fuzzy.
The problem with all the "new" yarn I acquired at the stash party is that now I want to start all kinds of new projects, when of course there's still some UFOs in the background dying for attention (like the SSS, which only grabs my attention a row at a time lately, though in my defense, we're talking 400+ stitches per row). Spent yesterday looking for patterns for this or that, only to go home, look in the stash box and realize I was forgetting X, Y, and Z as well. I know that it's not like I need to knit everything all at once, but boy, is it nice to have some respectable yarn in the stash to brainstorm with. Also purchased the graph paper yesterday, so that I can start fiddling with the idea of my own pattern on the double-knit bag that we're thinking of for our next KAL. Leaves? Moon & stars? Sheep jumping over the moon? Can't wait to get out my pencils...
Not nearly as pissy about this weather now that the holidays are behind us. Looking forward to getting outside for lunch...
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Ramblings of a Tuesday
So I've decided that I'd like my work and home computers to be voice-activated, so that I can edit sites and knit at the same time. Does that make me spoiled?
Feeling better and quite grateful...candida is one of those critters that sneaks up on you. You plod along, work, come home, go about your daily rituals in a headachy, bloated fog until sometimes clicks in your head and says, "ding, fries are done!" And then it says, "stop eating those fries, you're burning sugar way too fast, and what you're not burning is increasing the yeast in your system." It's a really vicious cycle, and in my case, it usually involves jumping off that track, going to the cabinets to see what I can eat that's healthy, and saying, "dear god, there's nothing but white carbs in here." Ever really looked at how much wheat and corn are in your kitchen? And of course, when you're addicted to that food, it's not wise to cold turkey, but holy heck, it makes grocery shopping a challenge.
Luckily, it's been a little easier to change my thinking for some reason. Maybe I'm just sick of potatoes and corn, I don't know. Those were the only veggies in my house when we were growing up. My mom and dad were both raised in eat-all-the-food-on-your-plate-we're-at-war-you-know households, and they both bore memories of hiding peas in a napkin or slipping green beans into a pocket to be flushed when they were excused from the table. They vowed they wouldn't do that to their kids. It was a blessing at the time, but it's made learning to like vegetables a challenge at times. Marrying into a Southern family made the dinner table scary at first (those are butterbeans? and you cook them how? and why do you need the fat back? ::shudder::), but I've learned to enjoy broccoli, cauliflower, and green beans (not together), and while I still haven't made (collard) greens for the husband yet, I am learning. Is it possible to become more of a grownup in the way you eat? I know, I know, it's not about being a grownup; just seems that way to me. Been going through a phase with that too, like, never mind that my Lil Sis is 23 and now officially out of school and a working stiff like the rest of us (which certainly isn't possible 'cause she's just a little kid, though we've definitely become peers in adulthood and I wouldn't change that for anything, but still...)...I still go through phases where I stop and wonder how I got here. Wasn't I just running to catch the bus on Above All yesterday? How can I be the one slipping behind the wheel of my own car that I make the payments on, and going home to a husband and 2 cats in my very own place? Just nostalgia, or late-bloomerism, I guess...
Kicking me out of that delightful blazing headachy fog may have been as simple as drinking cranberry juice twice a day. I've been watching what I eat too, but the big change in my diet so far was grabbing buy-one-get-one on the Northland cranberry juices at Publix late last week. Late Saturday I noticed I wasn't headachy, and I haven't been since. I'm off soda completely until we have money and I can buy Diet Coke with Splenda, but even then it'll be as a treat because with the exception of Thursdays, I drink my caffeine in the morning and try to stick to decaf the rest of the day. I switched from my standard Eggos with peanut butter (not nearly as gross as it sounds, so don't make that face) for breakfast to oatmeal with banana; that's a focus point this week, because I'm one of those people that needs breakfast, so I'm working on tweaking it so that I'm not starving by 10:30.
I think I've only got 5 UFOs at present (we KBs are counting them to assess which projects are necessary and which aren't). Unfortunately, 3 of them are scarves, which could be classified as a bit much for an unseasonably warm it's-not-global-warming-it's-a-cycle winter, but they're all different colors and textures so I'm keeping 'em on the needles. With the SSS still in UFO status, it's hard to get jazzed for larger projects right now. I take that back; there's a double-knit bag that's a potential KAL for us that I'm quite interested in investigating further, because the pattern calls for a skull-and-crossbones print, which I am totally not into, so I'm thinking of charting out my own pattern of leaf shapes. Getting excited just thinking about it...can't wait for Friday when I can afford to buy myself some graph paper just for my knitting!
We will now pause while Lil Sis shakes her head at me :)
Feeling better and quite grateful...candida is one of those critters that sneaks up on you. You plod along, work, come home, go about your daily rituals in a headachy, bloated fog until sometimes clicks in your head and says, "ding, fries are done!" And then it says, "stop eating those fries, you're burning sugar way too fast, and what you're not burning is increasing the yeast in your system." It's a really vicious cycle, and in my case, it usually involves jumping off that track, going to the cabinets to see what I can eat that's healthy, and saying, "dear god, there's nothing but white carbs in here." Ever really looked at how much wheat and corn are in your kitchen? And of course, when you're addicted to that food, it's not wise to cold turkey, but holy heck, it makes grocery shopping a challenge.
Luckily, it's been a little easier to change my thinking for some reason. Maybe I'm just sick of potatoes and corn, I don't know. Those were the only veggies in my house when we were growing up. My mom and dad were both raised in eat-all-the-food-on-your-plate-we're-at-war-you-know households, and they both bore memories of hiding peas in a napkin or slipping green beans into a pocket to be flushed when they were excused from the table. They vowed they wouldn't do that to their kids. It was a blessing at the time, but it's made learning to like vegetables a challenge at times. Marrying into a Southern family made the dinner table scary at first (those are butterbeans? and you cook them how? and why do you need the fat back? ::shudder::), but I've learned to enjoy broccoli, cauliflower, and green beans (not together), and while I still haven't made (collard) greens for the husband yet, I am learning. Is it possible to become more of a grownup in the way you eat? I know, I know, it's not about being a grownup; just seems that way to me. Been going through a phase with that too, like, never mind that my Lil Sis is 23 and now officially out of school and a working stiff like the rest of us (which certainly isn't possible 'cause she's just a little kid, though we've definitely become peers in adulthood and I wouldn't change that for anything, but still...)...I still go through phases where I stop and wonder how I got here. Wasn't I just running to catch the bus on Above All yesterday? How can I be the one slipping behind the wheel of my own car that I make the payments on, and going home to a husband and 2 cats in my very own place? Just nostalgia, or late-bloomerism, I guess...
Kicking me out of that delightful blazing headachy fog may have been as simple as drinking cranberry juice twice a day. I've been watching what I eat too, but the big change in my diet so far was grabbing buy-one-get-one on the Northland cranberry juices at Publix late last week. Late Saturday I noticed I wasn't headachy, and I haven't been since. I'm off soda completely until we have money and I can buy Diet Coke with Splenda, but even then it'll be as a treat because with the exception of Thursdays, I drink my caffeine in the morning and try to stick to decaf the rest of the day. I switched from my standard Eggos with peanut butter (not nearly as gross as it sounds, so don't make that face) for breakfast to oatmeal with banana; that's a focus point this week, because I'm one of those people that needs breakfast, so I'm working on tweaking it so that I'm not starving by 10:30.
I think I've only got 5 UFOs at present (we KBs are counting them to assess which projects are necessary and which aren't). Unfortunately, 3 of them are scarves, which could be classified as a bit much for an unseasonably warm it's-not-global-warming-it's-a-cycle winter, but they're all different colors and textures so I'm keeping 'em on the needles. With the SSS still in UFO status, it's hard to get jazzed for larger projects right now. I take that back; there's a double-knit bag that's a potential KAL for us that I'm quite interested in investigating further, because the pattern calls for a skull-and-crossbones print, which I am totally not into, so I'm thinking of charting out my own pattern of leaf shapes. Getting excited just thinking about it...can't wait for Friday when I can afford to buy myself some graph paper just for my knitting!
We will now pause while Lil Sis shakes her head at me :)
Monday, January 08, 2007
Bored, bored, bored
Was thinking about how editing websites makes me feel like I'm wasting my life sitting on my ass, and it reminded me of one more thing I want to do, that belongs on the other blog: write cover letters for the 7 positions I want to try for in Columbia. It's stuff ranging from clerical admin. asst. crap to park ranger to meter maid. Looks like applying for anything for the city of Columbia is a big, furry process - they tell you straight out that if you don't hear about your app. in a 4- to 6-week time frame, then it's ok to call the particular department. 4- to 6-weeks! Gotta get out my tap shoes.
Gotta get walking too, because eating healthier is coming along but I'm still sitting on my butt. Been scaling back my portions, drinking more juice, and it's already made the headaches abate, which is a relief...my candida was obviously out of control again. And holy snikeys, but have you ever tried to purge yeast and corn products from your diet? Lower the ole glycemic index? Corn is only in like, everything! But exercise is a big key to losing some weight and getting healthier, and dammit, I don't want these cysts on my ovaries, so it's time to hit the road! Or the treadmill, whatever! I just won't look in the mirrors in the exercise room at the complex...looking at myself in my exercise clothes kind of infuriates me, and not in a motivational hey-let's-do-something-about-this way, more like a self loathing, don't-want-to-be-seen-in-public way.
I hate bras. And my coffee's too weak this morning. :(
Gotta get walking too, because eating healthier is coming along but I'm still sitting on my butt. Been scaling back my portions, drinking more juice, and it's already made the headaches abate, which is a relief...my candida was obviously out of control again. And holy snikeys, but have you ever tried to purge yeast and corn products from your diet? Lower the ole glycemic index? Corn is only in like, everything! But exercise is a big key to losing some weight and getting healthier, and dammit, I don't want these cysts on my ovaries, so it's time to hit the road! Or the treadmill, whatever! I just won't look in the mirrors in the exercise room at the complex...looking at myself in my exercise clothes kind of infuriates me, and not in a motivational hey-let's-do-something-about-this way, more like a self loathing, don't-want-to-be-seen-in-public way.
I hate bras. And my coffee's too weak this morning. :(
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
New Years' ......... resolutions.....sort of.....
For the last 2 years, I was doing resolutions in October, the pagan New Year, at Samhain. About the same as regular New Year's resolutions except that if you have any improvements down regarding diet, they certainly get broken by Thanksgiving instead of spring.
This has been an out-of-sorts year, sabbat-wise. I didn't honor many of the 8 festivals, and though I wrote resolutions at Samhain, it was pretty half-hearted. Then in December, I had the OB/GYN visit and delightful medical epiphanies, which have left me a little scared (that we'll try for kids and be unsuccessful). I know it's too early to have such notions, but when you're childless at 37 and still planning to have urchins, the biological clock takes on an ominous tone.
So I've been pensive. About resolutions and how if I make them, I'd like to try something crazy, like not break them. My doc wants me to lose 20 pounds and see her in April. I have the ability to do that and more. I'd like us to move to Columbia at the end of April. There's a lot of roadblocks in our path, but it's still a realistic goal. If I'm going to make resolutions this year, they're going to be done with thought and planning, and it's perfectly ok that I didn't make them in time for Les's and my toast to each other on New Years' Eve (Dick Clark in the background, Ballatore Gran Spumante and apple juice in the foreground, our Waterford crystal Limited Edition Millennium "Peace" glasses, looking in each other's eyes...::sigh::)(::pause for the nonromantics to throw up in their mouths a little::). We're going on 10 years of knowing each other. I am so friggin' blessed it takes my breath away thinking about it.
So that's what I'm doing this week, in between reorganizing the bedroom to get a little more floor space while we wait (forever) for the damn apartment complex to replace our closet hardware. Also doing a little knitting, mostly of the SSS, which at 400+ stitches per row is only poking along, and mr. sock, which is beginning to show a shaft. Pondering other projects and looking ahead to the wonders that this year holds for us...
This has been an out-of-sorts year, sabbat-wise. I didn't honor many of the 8 festivals, and though I wrote resolutions at Samhain, it was pretty half-hearted. Then in December, I had the OB/GYN visit and delightful medical epiphanies, which have left me a little scared (that we'll try for kids and be unsuccessful). I know it's too early to have such notions, but when you're childless at 37 and still planning to have urchins, the biological clock takes on an ominous tone.
So I've been pensive. About resolutions and how if I make them, I'd like to try something crazy, like not break them. My doc wants me to lose 20 pounds and see her in April. I have the ability to do that and more. I'd like us to move to Columbia at the end of April. There's a lot of roadblocks in our path, but it's still a realistic goal. If I'm going to make resolutions this year, they're going to be done with thought and planning, and it's perfectly ok that I didn't make them in time for Les's and my toast to each other on New Years' Eve (Dick Clark in the background, Ballatore Gran Spumante and apple juice in the foreground, our Waterford crystal Limited Edition Millennium "Peace" glasses, looking in each other's eyes...::sigh::)(::pause for the nonromantics to throw up in their mouths a little::). We're going on 10 years of knowing each other. I am so friggin' blessed it takes my breath away thinking about it.
So that's what I'm doing this week, in between reorganizing the bedroom to get a little more floor space while we wait (forever) for the damn apartment complex to replace our closet hardware. Also doing a little knitting, mostly of the SSS, which at 400+ stitches per row is only poking along, and mr. sock, which is beginning to show a shaft. Pondering other projects and looking ahead to the wonders that this year holds for us...
Friday, December 29, 2006
Random website weirdness
Kind of punchy today...
Coupon for a place that offers weight loss programs:
Print this coupon to receive 4 weeks free at the end of your program.
Now, I know I'm being too literal here, but if you've reached the end of your program, aka: reached your weight loss goal, then what do you need 4 free weeks for? Is it a special promotion for anorexics in training?
Seaford, NY restaurant offering Roast Long Island Duck
I get that they're trying to promote local farm products, but when I saw Long Island, all I could think is pigeon or seagull, depending on the season.
Tired still...SO, SO ready for a 3-day weekend, which is pretty sad considering I just got off a 6-day weekend. Does it count if you spend it with family? This holiday had just enough drama where I still feel like I'm coming down from the visit. Tomorrow's Cache the Stash party with the bitches should help...we're all bringing our stashes outta the mothballs and doing some comparing and trading. Hope some of my acrylic finds a new home.
Coupon for a place that offers weight loss programs:
Print this coupon to receive 4 weeks free at the end of your program.
Now, I know I'm being too literal here, but if you've reached the end of your program, aka: reached your weight loss goal, then what do you need 4 free weeks for? Is it a special promotion for anorexics in training?
Seaford, NY restaurant offering Roast Long Island Duck
I get that they're trying to promote local farm products, but when I saw Long Island, all I could think is pigeon or seagull, depending on the season.
Tired still...SO, SO ready for a 3-day weekend, which is pretty sad considering I just got off a 6-day weekend. Does it count if you spend it with family? This holiday had just enough drama where I still feel like I'm coming down from the visit. Tomorrow's Cache the Stash party with the bitches should help...we're all bringing our stashes outta the mothballs and doing some comparing and trading. Hope some of my acrylic finds a new home.
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Christmas: big, furry thing that it is...
Never really got in the spirit this year. That's a tough one to accept; never had any trouble in the past. Maybe it is time to celebrate Solstice formally as a family (Les and I, plus future urchins), and then do Christmas with his family separate. I don't know. I mean, sure, as I've grown older, it's gotten harder to fetch up the excitement of years past, but I've always managed it with music, church, or a wander through a mall. I did get a bonus, not as much as I deserved, but enough to get gifts for everyone. This year though, something wasn't there, and I find I'm a little empty. Which is weird, because as Christmases go from a material standpoint, Les and I made out like bandits. He got not 1, but 2 new woobies, plus a fat Best Buy giftcard, the DVD box set of the Dungeons & Dragons cartoons, and other goodies. We both got clothes: 2 new sweaters for him, both suitably manly enough where I won't be borrowing them unless it's an emergency :), and 2 new outfits for me, one classy, one cashe. I got an MP3 player, the Weekend Knitting book, a bunch of cosmetic/bath and body stuff, and a four-pack of candles specifically geared toward fertility (no hint there!). Luckily those were from his sis, not his folks; that would've been a bit weird. Got to spend some quality time with my 5-month-old niece, which was terrific, but also a big reminder of why we're moving to Columbia rather than say, Aiken. Les's mom is a 2nd mom to Kylie, picking up the slack whenever Kara needs her to, while simultaneously resenting how much Kara uses her kindness. Meanwhile Kylie lacks stability and fusses more, besides being a colicky baby to begin with. I don't know why it bugs me so much; probably just the ole biological clock making me wish I could give them both a stern talking-to without it backlashing all over me, but as I'm the childless one, I know I have absolutely no business sticking my nose in, and in Kara's case, it would fall on deaf ears anyway. But they so enable each other, and it's a vicious cycle that I'd rather not be around when it explodes all over them.
Every family has its own blend of tension and drama though, so it was quite nice to get home last night. The apartment is still in the running for disaster-area status, but the complex maintenance guy came by right before Christmas and looked the closet over, said he'd order the necessary parts.
Only drank a little this weekend, kept it totally under control, and luckily still don't really have the taste for it. That'll kick back in the minute I start eating healthy. Went to the doc (OB/GYN) last week and got all my test results. Nothing drastic, but they certainly could be better. My fasting blood sugar is borderline, meaning one doctor might call it normal while another might see it as a precursor for gestational diabetes. And my hormone levels are normal, but I have PCOS. That stands for Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, and is far too broad a term in my opinion, so I'm just calling it what it is: a cyst apiece on my ovaries. Certainly what caused my skipping 2 months this year, and definitely a fertility concern. So I'm going to lose at least 20 pounds and see her in April; she was all set to put me on fertility meds now, but it's just not time yet. I'll investigate it, if necessary, after the move. The really good news: Les's results were totally normal! Between his chronic pain issues and a cyst of his own, there was a question there; but now the ball's in my court, so to speak.
With nothing holding me back but me, I found myself looking at food a little differently this past weekend. I certainly wasn't going to try any lifestyle changes on such a significant food holiday, but while I was eating my weight in orange pecan cookies, I was also enjoying green beans and salad more; they tasted better somehow. This week as I get settled, I'll start walking again and thinking about other forms of exercise that don't make me want to slit my wrists, and I'll get out the cookbooks. Man, I wish I had a bike! Ours are rusting away on the porch :( maybe after the move...in college, even though I had a car, I biked almost everywhere because I lived on campus and it was certainly easier than hunting for a parking space.
Exhausted today for some reason...must be reacclimating or something. Looking forward to relax time tonight. Made a hat this past weekend, started a wrap, 86d the mittens in favor of a scarf that I'm thinking of sending to a family friend, sock in slo-mo, SSS ignored as usual. Knitting will be sporadic next week or so as I plow into some serious organizing/cleaning/purging in the apartment.
Every family has its own blend of tension and drama though, so it was quite nice to get home last night. The apartment is still in the running for disaster-area status, but the complex maintenance guy came by right before Christmas and looked the closet over, said he'd order the necessary parts.
Only drank a little this weekend, kept it totally under control, and luckily still don't really have the taste for it. That'll kick back in the minute I start eating healthy. Went to the doc (OB/GYN) last week and got all my test results. Nothing drastic, but they certainly could be better. My fasting blood sugar is borderline, meaning one doctor might call it normal while another might see it as a precursor for gestational diabetes. And my hormone levels are normal, but I have PCOS. That stands for Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, and is far too broad a term in my opinion, so I'm just calling it what it is: a cyst apiece on my ovaries. Certainly what caused my skipping 2 months this year, and definitely a fertility concern. So I'm going to lose at least 20 pounds and see her in April; she was all set to put me on fertility meds now, but it's just not time yet. I'll investigate it, if necessary, after the move. The really good news: Les's results were totally normal! Between his chronic pain issues and a cyst of his own, there was a question there; but now the ball's in my court, so to speak.
With nothing holding me back but me, I found myself looking at food a little differently this past weekend. I certainly wasn't going to try any lifestyle changes on such a significant food holiday, but while I was eating my weight in orange pecan cookies, I was also enjoying green beans and salad more; they tasted better somehow. This week as I get settled, I'll start walking again and thinking about other forms of exercise that don't make me want to slit my wrists, and I'll get out the cookbooks. Man, I wish I had a bike! Ours are rusting away on the porch :( maybe after the move...in college, even though I had a car, I biked almost everywhere because I lived on campus and it was certainly easier than hunting for a parking space.
Exhausted today for some reason...must be reacclimating or something. Looking forward to relax time tonight. Made a hat this past weekend, started a wrap, 86d the mittens in favor of a scarf that I'm thinking of sending to a family friend, sock in slo-mo, SSS ignored as usual. Knitting will be sporadic next week or so as I plow into some serious organizing/cleaning/purging in the apartment.
Monday, December 18, 2006
Where's the damn snow?
Yeah, ok, wasn't likely to get it in Florida...but did we have to get this blankety-blank warm front right on Christmas week?
Was watching Prancer this weekend, plus Mom just sent a cute online Christmas card of a couple of mice sledding in a walnut shell...I do miss snow sometimes. There's a disadvantage to seeing things from an adult's point of view though. Is it considered self-deprecating or sardonic for me to imagine jumping onto a sled on a thick, high bluff of snow and ice, like we used to have on Above All, where it would blow and freeze in sections several feet thick, and instead of sliding down a hill, having the sled slowly sink down to the grass under the weight of my big bod. I don't get upset, just allow a little sigh. That's not negative self-image; it's humor!
I call those "Ally McBeal moments," where full-blown daydreams distract me for a bit. Might be why I think the TV show "Scrubs" is so funny...
Warning: irrational vent approaching...I realize there's nothing to be gained from counting on a Christmas bonus, but when you live in a one-paycheck household and you've gotten a bonus the last 2 years, it stands to reason there'd be some hope for a 3rd bonus coming in. Much to my frustration, this hasn't occurred yet, and the higher-ups ain't talking. Everybody's getting IOUs this year if that sucker doesn't show itself in the next 5 days, never mind that if they're dicks and really do wait until the last minute, it delays our trip to SC, because they cut actual checks for the bonus rather than direct deposit. And then if it does show itself, there's the delight of shopping at the last minute. I'm way frustrated over this, and it's getting in the way of my getting in the spirit. Ho-ho-friggin' ho!
Was watching Prancer this weekend, plus Mom just sent a cute online Christmas card of a couple of mice sledding in a walnut shell...I do miss snow sometimes. There's a disadvantage to seeing things from an adult's point of view though. Is it considered self-deprecating or sardonic for me to imagine jumping onto a sled on a thick, high bluff of snow and ice, like we used to have on Above All, where it would blow and freeze in sections several feet thick, and instead of sliding down a hill, having the sled slowly sink down to the grass under the weight of my big bod. I don't get upset, just allow a little sigh. That's not negative self-image; it's humor!
I call those "Ally McBeal moments," where full-blown daydreams distract me for a bit. Might be why I think the TV show "Scrubs" is so funny...
Warning: irrational vent approaching...I realize there's nothing to be gained from counting on a Christmas bonus, but when you live in a one-paycheck household and you've gotten a bonus the last 2 years, it stands to reason there'd be some hope for a 3rd bonus coming in. Much to my frustration, this hasn't occurred yet, and the higher-ups ain't talking. Everybody's getting IOUs this year if that sucker doesn't show itself in the next 5 days, never mind that if they're dicks and really do wait until the last minute, it delays our trip to SC, because they cut actual checks for the bonus rather than direct deposit. And then if it does show itself, there's the delight of shopping at the last minute. I'm way frustrated over this, and it's getting in the way of my getting in the spirit. Ho-ho-friggin' ho!
Saturday, December 16, 2006
I never thought.....
When I was younger, I played trumpet in band, straight through high school. I was a Girl Scout in the 7th and 8th grades, so I learned to sew and I tried latch hook. Latch hook's easy enough, but it's a serious snore. I wrote stories now and then. But I didn't have a whole lot of hobbies, which could account, I suppose, for the inordinate amount of time that was spent inside my own head.
Fast forward to my mid-30s ::sigh::, ok, late-30s, and 2 friends whom I'm wanting to hang out with and get to know better, decide to form a knitting group and teach people who want to learn. I start with the basics, buy a book or two for reference, and hang with these folks 2 to 4 times a month, knitting and enjoying the caffeine and baked goods at Panera. I baby-step my way into increases, decreases, socks, and lace. I accumulate a stash with way too much acrylic in it, collect a nice amount of needles, and whine about my UFOs, all the while starting new and different projects with a vengance.
What am I getting at? Well, night before last, I cleared away and/or organized a large part of the detritus that is the result of our bedroom closet rack destroying itself; the end result being that I found my bedroom coffee table, wing chair, and stash. Last night I sat in said chair and tucked in. I moved some stuff around, reorganized the stash, rolled yarn into balls, and laid out fresh yarn for several projects. I started a hat, turned the rice stitch wrap strip that I'd started into a gaiter, frogged the Cozy and rolled the Wool Ease into a ball, found the chenilley Red Heart that Dana destashed to me and decided to make mittens from that (and maybe legwarmers), and found the sock yarn ruthee gave me ages ago that I'd ended up ripping out on the first try. It doesn't seem like much, but it took several hours, and between the careful stitching together of the two ends of the gaiter and starting the hat on my size 10 dpns, that "all's right with the world" feeling settled into my chest once again. Is it sounding too new agey to say that knitting somehow speaks to my soul? I'm tired and a little headachy this morning as I sit in my office avoiding weekend work, but I'm feeling so much better inside my head. So much better! I never thought that a hobby could have this effect on me, because I didn't have anything like that growing up, not even trumpet. I tried, but I don't have natural musical talent, so it required study and work. Knitting certainly requires that too, but there's just something about it that's different. When Lil Sis shakes her head at my weird, old-fart hobby, it doesn't bother me at all, because I know I've discovered something precious.
Thank you so much, ruthee and Terra!
Fast forward to my mid-30s ::sigh::, ok, late-30s, and 2 friends whom I'm wanting to hang out with and get to know better, decide to form a knitting group and teach people who want to learn. I start with the basics, buy a book or two for reference, and hang with these folks 2 to 4 times a month, knitting and enjoying the caffeine and baked goods at Panera. I baby-step my way into increases, decreases, socks, and lace. I accumulate a stash with way too much acrylic in it, collect a nice amount of needles, and whine about my UFOs, all the while starting new and different projects with a vengance.
What am I getting at? Well, night before last, I cleared away and/or organized a large part of the detritus that is the result of our bedroom closet rack destroying itself; the end result being that I found my bedroom coffee table, wing chair, and stash. Last night I sat in said chair and tucked in. I moved some stuff around, reorganized the stash, rolled yarn into balls, and laid out fresh yarn for several projects. I started a hat, turned the rice stitch wrap strip that I'd started into a gaiter, frogged the Cozy and rolled the Wool Ease into a ball, found the chenilley Red Heart that Dana destashed to me and decided to make mittens from that (and maybe legwarmers), and found the sock yarn ruthee gave me ages ago that I'd ended up ripping out on the first try. It doesn't seem like much, but it took several hours, and between the careful stitching together of the two ends of the gaiter and starting the hat on my size 10 dpns, that "all's right with the world" feeling settled into my chest once again. Is it sounding too new agey to say that knitting somehow speaks to my soul? I'm tired and a little headachy this morning as I sit in my office avoiding weekend work, but I'm feeling so much better inside my head. So much better! I never thought that a hobby could have this effect on me, because I didn't have anything like that growing up, not even trumpet. I tried, but I don't have natural musical talent, so it required study and work. Knitting certainly requires that too, but there's just something about it that's different. When Lil Sis shakes her head at my weird, old-fart hobby, it doesn't bother me at all, because I know I've discovered something precious.
Thank you so much, ruthee and Terra!
Friday, December 15, 2006
Back in the groove
It's weird how much a quick side trip out of town can throw you off...don't realize you're a slave to routine until something disrupts it, I guess. More likely it's the fact that this trip wasn't like our usual trips...usually if we go out of town, it's to Aiken, where we're used to the drive and the area, the family stress level is fairly average, and the weather's usually pleasant. Not saying I don't like Orlando...it was SO nice to see my Lil Sis in her element, nudging her way into "real life," and getting to gallavant around the Universal parks for a day. I was beaming and proud as she walked for her Masters. It made me teary and got my wheels turning again about school and all the things I want to learn in this life. There were 4 wheelchair folks getting degrees, 2 blind people plus another that needed walking assistance, and 1 posthumous degree at the end. Talk about your reminders about the tenuousness of life.
But it also makes me nutty traveling in foreign territory without a map (that's not a metaphor; I mean having to follow someone's directions when you're unfamiliar with the area makes me crazy). And my dad's condition was a shock. He's started having balance issues, experiencing vertigo at the drop of a hat. It's most likely related to the fact that his carotid artery is 90+% blocked on one side, so his brain's just not getting enough juice. It infuriates me (we're talking white-hot livid angry) that his cardiologist and neurologist are dragging their feet on further medicinal or surgical ways to remedy the sitch (he's already on Plavix), but in the meantime, it's aged him about 10 years in 6 months. He followed us quietly throughout the parks that day, and sat quietly when we went on rides. Now granted, if you look up the word "taciturn" in the dictionary, it shows a picture of the Lyons' brothers, but this was more than that. He's clearly afraid of what's going on with his body, and it's taking the wind out of his sails. Took him getting plastered both nights for him to loosen up. I mentioned it to Mom, and you could tell she agreed; but she won't push him to talk about how he feels usually, because she knows it'll start a fight and why do that to yourself...so I understand why she may not push him. The man brings new meaning to the phrase "closed off."
But I, on the other hand, have been pushing at envelopes since I met Les, so after some thought I sent Dad an email. I asked him several pointed questions about his condition and told him that while I wasn't expecting solid answers from him by any stretch, that I was volunteering myself if he needed backup at any of his appointments, to remember what to ask or what's said (I've got terrific recall for medical terminology for some reason). I don't expect anything to come of it, but at least I've tried. I mean, his behavior was a jaw-dropping shock to me, but I guess that's understandable; it's not like we socialize with my fam all that much, even though we live in the same town.....
So I was thrown off somehow by last weekend's trip, and feel like I'm only now getting back into the groove. Christmas is galloping toward us with a vengance and no bonus in sight...the bastards at my work are waiting til the last second apparently, which is maddening since we need to cover bills with most of today's check. I bailed on KB last night and did something I've been wanting to do since the closet exploded: unearth my bedroom coffee table. We own WAY too many clothes. This is going to be a Goodwill-Keep-Toss weekend, as I begin giving the bedroom and closet a good purge. And I'll go through the Columbia paperwork again and start laying out my planner for the next 4 months. We need 60 days' notice to move out of my complex, which means having housing nailed down by end of February. Rather daunting proposition, but I'm still aiming for it.
As for knitting, it's in a state of flux. Like I said, cape's done, but gotta buy buttons. I'm thinking of frogging Cozy because I can't stand the idea of doing that pattern in Wool Ease. Thinking of stopping the rice stitch wrap and seeing if I can sew it together at the ends for a gaiter, because I just don't have the patience for big projects right now. I'm thinking about hats, mittens, and socks for the near future. I pulled Broadripple and Jaywalker off the web, and I'm starting one of 'em with the Regia that ruthee gave me way back when, because I feel a sock jones coming on big time. And I'll unearth the SSS and see what else is unfinished, now that I can actually step around the coffee table to my stash again.
But it also makes me nutty traveling in foreign territory without a map (that's not a metaphor; I mean having to follow someone's directions when you're unfamiliar with the area makes me crazy). And my dad's condition was a shock. He's started having balance issues, experiencing vertigo at the drop of a hat. It's most likely related to the fact that his carotid artery is 90+% blocked on one side, so his brain's just not getting enough juice. It infuriates me (we're talking white-hot livid angry) that his cardiologist and neurologist are dragging their feet on further medicinal or surgical ways to remedy the sitch (he's already on Plavix), but in the meantime, it's aged him about 10 years in 6 months. He followed us quietly throughout the parks that day, and sat quietly when we went on rides. Now granted, if you look up the word "taciturn" in the dictionary, it shows a picture of the Lyons' brothers, but this was more than that. He's clearly afraid of what's going on with his body, and it's taking the wind out of his sails. Took him getting plastered both nights for him to loosen up. I mentioned it to Mom, and you could tell she agreed; but she won't push him to talk about how he feels usually, because she knows it'll start a fight and why do that to yourself...so I understand why she may not push him. The man brings new meaning to the phrase "closed off."
But I, on the other hand, have been pushing at envelopes since I met Les, so after some thought I sent Dad an email. I asked him several pointed questions about his condition and told him that while I wasn't expecting solid answers from him by any stretch, that I was volunteering myself if he needed backup at any of his appointments, to remember what to ask or what's said (I've got terrific recall for medical terminology for some reason). I don't expect anything to come of it, but at least I've tried. I mean, his behavior was a jaw-dropping shock to me, but I guess that's understandable; it's not like we socialize with my fam all that much, even though we live in the same town.....
So I was thrown off somehow by last weekend's trip, and feel like I'm only now getting back into the groove. Christmas is galloping toward us with a vengance and no bonus in sight...the bastards at my work are waiting til the last second apparently, which is maddening since we need to cover bills with most of today's check. I bailed on KB last night and did something I've been wanting to do since the closet exploded: unearth my bedroom coffee table. We own WAY too many clothes. This is going to be a Goodwill-Keep-Toss weekend, as I begin giving the bedroom and closet a good purge. And I'll go through the Columbia paperwork again and start laying out my planner for the next 4 months. We need 60 days' notice to move out of my complex, which means having housing nailed down by end of February. Rather daunting proposition, but I'm still aiming for it.
As for knitting, it's in a state of flux. Like I said, cape's done, but gotta buy buttons. I'm thinking of frogging Cozy because I can't stand the idea of doing that pattern in Wool Ease. Thinking of stopping the rice stitch wrap and seeing if I can sew it together at the ends for a gaiter, because I just don't have the patience for big projects right now. I'm thinking about hats, mittens, and socks for the near future. I pulled Broadripple and Jaywalker off the web, and I'm starting one of 'em with the Regia that ruthee gave me way back when, because I feel a sock jones coming on big time. And I'll unearth the SSS and see what else is unfinished, now that I can actually step around the coffee table to my stash again.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Wah!
Graduation wonderful. Crazily proud of Lil Sis. Family time was interesting, scary, sobering, and a couple of other adjectives.
Got back to discover boss had developed a wild hair and wanted certain people moved. My new desk oughta be called "teacher's pet desk..." as it's directly across from my team leader, so I can't dick around on the web at all at work anymore. Personal phone calls are pretty much out too. Probably a good thing, but boy, it's taking some getting used to.
They also outlawed food at our desks last week. Seven years of grazing and now I've gotta stop cold turkey. I'm not happy.
Cape's done, just needs buttons. Thinking of starting socks and mittens this week, but have to deal with a disaster area of a bedroom first.
Got back to discover boss had developed a wild hair and wanted certain people moved. My new desk oughta be called "teacher's pet desk..." as it's directly across from my team leader, so I can't dick around on the web at all at work anymore. Personal phone calls are pretty much out too. Probably a good thing, but boy, it's taking some getting used to.
They also outlawed food at our desks last week. Seven years of grazing and now I've gotta stop cold turkey. I'm not happy.
Cape's done, just needs buttons. Thinking of starting socks and mittens this week, but have to deal with a disaster area of a bedroom first.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Random Wednesdayness
I can think of better ways to start a Wednesday than in a dentist's chair. But on the upside, only one cavity left to deal with, and the dentist is a cutie with a really gentle touch. Seriously, anybody in the Jax area looking for a new dentist, ask me about Dr. Floro. He's very nice, just opened his own office in Mandarin and could use the business.
Website
Name of company: South Florida Home Remodeling
Location: Bristow, Virginia
Yeah, that makes sense.
Busy times ahead...participating in a cookie swap Saturday, which means finding cookie ideas using only ingredients currently in the house, because we's po'...luckily I anticipated this and stocked up a bit when we did the big Thanksgiving shop, so while the cookies won't be anything fancy, I don't think I'll come up short. Then that afternoon we head down to Orlando for a bit of family fun. Lil Sis graduates with her masters' degree on Monday. She's the one working full-time as a PR Coordinator for Universal Studios, so she got us all free tickets for the parks, which we're hitting on Sunday as a group. Should be both interesting and fun...fun, as it's been a couple of years for Les and I and we both love places like that, and interesting because my mom and dad will be there, and Dad can be...oh, how shall I put this....rigid, demanding, prickly, misanthropic, anal, mercurial, impatient, and a couple of other things I'm forgetting, that make him a delight to be in public with. I'm sure it'll be fine. Meara forgets that she's still the golden child in the family, so Dad'll be on his best behavior while we're all down there. Mom knows how to rein him in; she must, she pulled it off for my wedding, and that required a much longer trip in the car. But figuring out logistics for a get-together like this can be trying enough, without the distractions of graduation, coordinating the iVillage launch, a Today show shoot, and the Macy's parade opening at the parks this weekend, a boyfriend whose job isn't flexible enough for him to attend his girlfriend's graduation, housing we siblings in her cute little apartment for 2 nights, Mom and Dad negotiating the Orlando area from Meara's place to their hotel to the parks....man, I'm getting uptight just thinking about it. Watching Mom and Dad find their way around someplace in the car, Dad at the wheel, Mom at the map, is like watching oil and water mix. The memories are vivid of shrinking to nothing in the back seat while they tore each other new ones in the front. Mom's very intelligent, but what goes on in her head and what comes out of her mouth...a lot of the time, it's two different things, and Dad just has/had no patience for mistakes. Still baffles me sometimes that they're still together, and scares the hell out of me how Les and I could change once kids enter the picture. Ok, that's enough of that tangent.
Not as jealous of Meara's masters as I thought I'd be...maybe because I know I'm not ready to be back in school yet. So much has changed...I didn't even own a computer in college. Now you practically need a laptop and a high-speed Internet connection just to get a C in your classes. Plus I've gotten used to a "learn at your own pace" flow; it'd be interesting getting back in the swing of needing to give a crap what the teacher thought. Lil Sis got dinged for format issues on her papers in this last class, because the idiot teacher put in the syllabus that they needed to use the latest edition of APA, but then continued using an older edition herself for grading. I'm sure she found a diplomatic solution to the problem, but I'd have been ready to throw down.
What I am is completely, giddily proud of her and can't wait to see her. With 14 years between us, it's a relationship that's evolved in adulthood to something cozy, and I think we both draw on each other for learning...stuff. I go to her for ideas, because her education was more progressive than mine, and far more modern, and she allows me opinions where experience, a shade more worldliness, is required. Such that it is, I mean, most of my traveling has occurred right here in Florida, but I've been in the workplace for a dozen years now, and she jumped right from college into her dream job and realized fast where she was lacking; it made for some growing pains. I can't wait to see her in that element; Mom and I both will probably be fighting back tears all weekend.
Website
Name of company: South Florida Home Remodeling
Location: Bristow, Virginia
Yeah, that makes sense.
Busy times ahead...participating in a cookie swap Saturday, which means finding cookie ideas using only ingredients currently in the house, because we's po'...luckily I anticipated this and stocked up a bit when we did the big Thanksgiving shop, so while the cookies won't be anything fancy, I don't think I'll come up short. Then that afternoon we head down to Orlando for a bit of family fun. Lil Sis graduates with her masters' degree on Monday. She's the one working full-time as a PR Coordinator for Universal Studios, so she got us all free tickets for the parks, which we're hitting on Sunday as a group. Should be both interesting and fun...fun, as it's been a couple of years for Les and I and we both love places like that, and interesting because my mom and dad will be there, and Dad can be...oh, how shall I put this....rigid, demanding, prickly, misanthropic, anal, mercurial, impatient, and a couple of other things I'm forgetting, that make him a delight to be in public with. I'm sure it'll be fine. Meara forgets that she's still the golden child in the family, so Dad'll be on his best behavior while we're all down there. Mom knows how to rein him in; she must, she pulled it off for my wedding, and that required a much longer trip in the car. But figuring out logistics for a get-together like this can be trying enough, without the distractions of graduation, coordinating the iVillage launch, a Today show shoot, and the Macy's parade opening at the parks this weekend, a boyfriend whose job isn't flexible enough for him to attend his girlfriend's graduation, housing we siblings in her cute little apartment for 2 nights, Mom and Dad negotiating the Orlando area from Meara's place to their hotel to the parks....man, I'm getting uptight just thinking about it. Watching Mom and Dad find their way around someplace in the car, Dad at the wheel, Mom at the map, is like watching oil and water mix. The memories are vivid of shrinking to nothing in the back seat while they tore each other new ones in the front. Mom's very intelligent, but what goes on in her head and what comes out of her mouth...a lot of the time, it's two different things, and Dad just has/had no patience for mistakes. Still baffles me sometimes that they're still together, and scares the hell out of me how Les and I could change once kids enter the picture. Ok, that's enough of that tangent.
Not as jealous of Meara's masters as I thought I'd be...maybe because I know I'm not ready to be back in school yet. So much has changed...I didn't even own a computer in college. Now you practically need a laptop and a high-speed Internet connection just to get a C in your classes. Plus I've gotten used to a "learn at your own pace" flow; it'd be interesting getting back in the swing of needing to give a crap what the teacher thought. Lil Sis got dinged for format issues on her papers in this last class, because the idiot teacher put in the syllabus that they needed to use the latest edition of APA, but then continued using an older edition herself for grading. I'm sure she found a diplomatic solution to the problem, but I'd have been ready to throw down.
What I am is completely, giddily proud of her and can't wait to see her. With 14 years between us, it's a relationship that's evolved in adulthood to something cozy, and I think we both draw on each other for learning...stuff. I go to her for ideas, because her education was more progressive than mine, and far more modern, and she allows me opinions where experience, a shade more worldliness, is required. Such that it is, I mean, most of my traveling has occurred right here in Florida, but I've been in the workplace for a dozen years now, and she jumped right from college into her dream job and realized fast where she was lacking; it made for some growing pains. I can't wait to see her in that element; Mom and I both will probably be fighting back tears all weekend.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Hail to thee, my alma ma...oh, wait...ehem...
So right after I graduated from that illustrious wannabe of a state U that is USF, they added a football program. 10+ years later, my alma mater's scrappy little team made it to a bowl game. Thought that was nifty...until I checked out the SI.com page and got a look at how freakin' many bowl games they have. Never mind that it's 3 pages long, some of the names are just sad...I mean let's face it, wouldn't you rather be in the Rose or Orange Bowl than the Chick-Fil-A bowl. Anyway, USF faces ECU (Eastern Carolina) on December 29 at ::sigh::....................wait for it.................::shakes head::...........the PapaJohns.com Bowl!
Not Papa John's, mind you. PapaJohns.com.
Excuse me, I need to sigh again.
Ah, I'll suck it up, I mean, a bowl game is a bowl game, right? Might even watch a couple of them this year...wouldn't mind actually figuring out how the game is played, plus it'll be a test of sorts to watch football without beer in the house.
Not Papa John's, mind you. PapaJohns.com.
Excuse me, I need to sigh again.
Ah, I'll suck it up, I mean, a bowl game is a bowl game, right? Might even watch a couple of them this year...wouldn't mind actually figuring out how the game is played, plus it'll be a test of sorts to watch football without beer in the house.
Monday, December 04, 2006
A little more light...under the clothes
So I'm puttering around last night, after dinner and in between laundry loads, when I go into the closet to grab 2 hangers for the air-dry items.
You know that feeling, when you witness a type of upheaval so drastic, it doesn't look real?
The main rack, which held all of our hanger clothes as well as god-knows how many boxes of personal items on top of it, had given up the ghost. Pulled right off the wall and fell. The walk-in closet had ceased its walk-in status once again, only not in hey-maybe-it's-time-to-organize way.
"Um, honey?"
"Mmm...?"
"You didn't by chance hear a loud thud while I was at the store?"
Nah, he slept through it. Thank god the cats weren't in there. Usually we keep it shut, but Fig will slip in there if she gets the chance and has spent more than 1 workday trapped in there, climbing the walls and pooping where she pleases. I go into problem-solving mode and we start pulling out the main boxes, which is a treat (she says sarcastically), because Husby would pull a box out, open it a crack, and begin pawing through stuff, while I stood there saying stuff, like, dude, can't we clear a path and look at stuff in a minute? You don't mess with problem-solving Melanie. He got the hint after a bit and cleared out.
Problem was, we were hoping to still hang stuff because the rack was resting/propped on his cardboard-wrapped Star Wars stuff that he acquired when we worked at the theater (potential future eBay sales). Once I started rehanging stuff though, it tipped precariously. Well, fine. I've become a believer recently in the idea that things happen for a reason. Something's telling me to stop stressing about the dining room because it's not its turn yet. The closet and bedroom will take precedence for now. But man, it's going to be a pain in the ass until we can get the complex in here to replace it. I mean, Husby's stuff is no biggie because in his current employment sitch, it's not like he's wearing his khakis and slacks a whole bunch, but I'm a) a working stiff, and b) a girl, so I need to not wrinkle as much. Grr. Tonight I'll fold up most of our stuff, and find a more accessible home for the ironing board, because the closet that sucker's in at present oughta be studied.
7 days sober. Not normally a big deal, but I did enjoy the company Christmas party at the Marsh Landing Country Club with cranberry juice and club soda, so I'm pleased with myself.
Got my hair cut (me likey! Husby loves me with lots of hair, so he's still grumbling and playing on my insecurities, the little punk) and went through the grueling boredom of a glucose tolerance test first thing Saturday morning. Brought my knitting and a book, but seriously folks, we're talking no caffeine here. When I went for my hormone bloodwork last week, the phlebotomist went up my right arm to find the vein (instead of the usual elbow pit locale), and now I have this ginormous bruise that lost its novelty after oh, day 1. We're talking no short sleeves, so-how-long-has-your-husband-been-beating-you-ma'am? huge. My sad, strange self-abusive side usually enjoys a good bruise, but this sucker ain't turning yellow yet and I'm kind of over it.
You know that feeling, when you witness a type of upheaval so drastic, it doesn't look real?
The main rack, which held all of our hanger clothes as well as god-knows how many boxes of personal items on top of it, had given up the ghost. Pulled right off the wall and fell. The walk-in closet had ceased its walk-in status once again, only not in hey-maybe-it's-time-to-organize way.
"Um, honey?"
"Mmm...?"
"You didn't by chance hear a loud thud while I was at the store?"
Nah, he slept through it. Thank god the cats weren't in there. Usually we keep it shut, but Fig will slip in there if she gets the chance and has spent more than 1 workday trapped in there, climbing the walls and pooping where she pleases. I go into problem-solving mode and we start pulling out the main boxes, which is a treat (she says sarcastically), because Husby would pull a box out, open it a crack, and begin pawing through stuff, while I stood there saying stuff, like, dude, can't we clear a path and look at stuff in a minute? You don't mess with problem-solving Melanie. He got the hint after a bit and cleared out.
Problem was, we were hoping to still hang stuff because the rack was resting/propped on his cardboard-wrapped Star Wars stuff that he acquired when we worked at the theater (potential future eBay sales). Once I started rehanging stuff though, it tipped precariously. Well, fine. I've become a believer recently in the idea that things happen for a reason. Something's telling me to stop stressing about the dining room because it's not its turn yet. The closet and bedroom will take precedence for now. But man, it's going to be a pain in the ass until we can get the complex in here to replace it. I mean, Husby's stuff is no biggie because in his current employment sitch, it's not like he's wearing his khakis and slacks a whole bunch, but I'm a) a working stiff, and b) a girl, so I need to not wrinkle as much. Grr. Tonight I'll fold up most of our stuff, and find a more accessible home for the ironing board, because the closet that sucker's in at present oughta be studied.
7 days sober. Not normally a big deal, but I did enjoy the company Christmas party at the Marsh Landing Country Club with cranberry juice and club soda, so I'm pleased with myself.
Got my hair cut (me likey! Husby loves me with lots of hair, so he's still grumbling and playing on my insecurities, the little punk) and went through the grueling boredom of a glucose tolerance test first thing Saturday morning. Brought my knitting and a book, but seriously folks, we're talking no caffeine here. When I went for my hormone bloodwork last week, the phlebotomist went up my right arm to find the vein (instead of the usual elbow pit locale), and now I have this ginormous bruise that lost its novelty after oh, day 1. We're talking no short sleeves, so-how-long-has-your-husband-been-beating-you-ma'am? huge. My sad, strange self-abusive side usually enjoys a good bruise, but this sucker ain't turning yellow yet and I'm kind of over it.
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