Mental meanderings or work avoidance

Still no focus to speak of. Last week was amazing! Nailed my quotas on Saturday with such a feeling of satisfaction! This week, my brain's elsewhere and it needs to get its arse back to the laptop.

The good news is if I maintain said quotas, I think we can afford insurance AND still eat occasionally. The bad news of course, being that there's no decent work prospects yet beyond freelancing. I'm not worried yet, but talk to me in another 2 months...like after my first quarterly tax payment...

I asked my landlord about putting raised beds in the mulched area in front of my place. Received no response yet. I'm taking that to mean, "play it safe and container garden." Not a bad thing, just limits my seed selection...but given how easy it is to get carried away, especially on your first real gardening season, that can really only be a positive. May not be harvesting squash this year, but you can bet I'm trying my hand at climbers like beans and peas.

No reason for these...just bored...

 

Random grumpings

Never been a fan of Valentine's Day, but it's really hard to argue with a holiday that our capitalist society has managed to shape around the consumption of chocolate. The Hubs went out early and managed to find 2-for-1 Whitman's Samplers at the drugstore, and you just don't turn that shit down.

Next year, it's be organic and free trade chocolate though. Or one of those $7 chocolate bars from French Broad :)

I'm re-educating myself lately on the asshatrickery that is the food industry, and the knowledge is so eye-opening. I get the newsletters from the Organic Consumers Association, and I send the emails telling Washington or Big Food that they're douchebags, and I try to shop more carefully. But you have to look deeper. I didn't know that Alexia Foods was owned by ConAgra. Their sweet potato bites are a nice go-to option when you want fries, but hate the thought of Ore-I-vebeensprayedtowithinaninchofmylife-DA. But I'm not contributing any more to a company that panders to the organic community with those products while also pouring millions into the campaign against GMO labeling.

I was cooking and prepping some Tyson breasts the other day (a hand-me-down from the MIL's deep freeze - believe me, I don't buy Tyson since watching Food Inc.), and couldn't help wondering if the chickens in question died from slit throats in the killing cones, or from 2 broken legs because they couldn't support the weight of those ridiculous breasts, that have been bred to get that big to feed the American public in a cost-efficient manner. Can't quite say no, thank you when the MIL brings them up on her visits, but maybe they need to go to one of the many food banks in the area next time. Because I'm finding I'm really over being so dependent on, and catering to, an industry that could be killing us.

There are those that say, yea, but if you boycott every food that has ethically pissed you off, that'll 86 most of the aisles of the supermarket.

Guess what? That's not a bad thing. The walls of the supermarket are where the real food is. And I want to eventually provide for my own family anyway.

I was already reading the OCA stuff and thinking about this today, when I got word that we just lost another family member to cancer. And as I think about it, the sadness that I'm feeling is awash in anger. We have to do better. This person didn't have genetics on her side; her mother passed from cancer at a horribly young age...but I also have to wonder how much of the standard American diet is to blame. How much Big Pharma hurts rather than helps, inoculating us against bugs we may not even get and making bugs worse inadvertently (I'm one of those "life finds a way" people, who thinks that all this antibacterial lotion we're using is just going to make the bacteria bigger and stronger eventually).

I'm not anti-vaccinations...I totally dig that we have the science to all but eliminate diphtheria, polio, and some of the other big baddies. But the system's so broken. I don't appreciate being told that insurance won't cover the shingles vaccine in anyone under the age of 65, because statistically it's worse when older folks get it. I already had it, which means my body's more inclined to have it again, it'll get worse every time, and the vaccine could decrease the intermittent nerve pain I have now from the first time I caught it. Yet I would have to slog through a pile of paperwork and pay through the nose to get the vaccine. Doesn't make sense...but also moot while we're still insurance shopping.

I have that interview tomorrow for a retail sales spot at a local farm. I want it so badly....I'll study for it tonight, so that hopefully I'm coherent with my interviewer tomorrow, because my enthusiasm could make me a babbling imbecile. We're talking a 40-minute commute, $9 an hour, 2 days a week, and the chance to sell good local food and get manure on my shoes. I'd be in frickin' heaven!

Send some good vibes, y'all!

Image snitched from here.

Quickie

Yesterday, Monday, was hard, then easy. I didn't sleep well the night before, and my butt dragged til like noon. Once I threw real clothes on and the coffee kicked in though, I was a machine, editing sites, creating new work goals for myself, working hard. If the opportunities aren't going to come quickly enough, then I'm just going to have to make more money at what I'm doing now, and that means more hours on the laptop.

So naturally, the mominlaw wants to come up this weekend and bring the niece. She's 6. And given the way she's being raised, suffers from a healthy dose of attachment disorder and ADHD. Beautiful kid, but not the most low-maintenance individual you'll meet.

I don't mind at all that we finally have a place where people actually want to come visit, and where it's feasible. My only request is that we be given a chance to miss them first. It's been every 3 weeks since we got here, and it's finally going to interfere with my work. I was able to make do, closed up in the bedroom, when Mom J. was here last time, but with the squirt too? Ain't gonna happen. I'm checking the hours at the local libraries and making myself scarce. She may be retired, but I've gotta put bread on the table.

In spite of that latest wrinkle in my peace, I still find myself stopping a sec, listening to the quiet of the apartment or going for a wander outside, and recognizing how truly happy I am here. If I make my quota of sites today, I'm taking off a bit early to jaunt downtown, where a local bakery is throwing an anniversary/Mardi Gras shindig. Even if it doesn't lead to acquaintances, it's a chance to get outta the house and say, "hi, I'm Melanie, we just moved here," to people. There's worries in the back of my mind, about getting insurance and a new pain doc for Les, about making ends meet, but I don't regret for a moment finally having the strength to say "this move is going to happen." I'm incredibly happy.

Revisiting

The air smelled of pine and cedar. The path was mulched heavily, so that there was a nice padding under my feet, which I was grateful for, or my knees were, given the short, but sharp inclines and declines. This was the path at Main Street Nature Park, a bit of wilderness literally carved out of the woods behind the shops along Main Street in downtown Weaverville. My breath came loudly as I neared the tops of each climb, and I was reminded of the last leg of the Avon walk, so many years ago now...we had maybe 2 miles to go, and the road became this LONG hill. Alexa cheered me on, I took it slowly...and even with my lack of preparation, there was no way, short of collapse, that I wouldn't have finished that sucker. 15 miles that day. Now I'm happy with 2 and building my way to 3 miles. One day at a time.

The Main Street park was a good leg/knee workout, but it only felt like about 1 mile, so I hopped back in the car and went to Lake Louise. It was busier there...they have a really nice playground, so everybody was out with their 2.3 kids. I tried not to ache inside, just walked and checked my breathing, nodding occasionally to fellow walkers. I noticed the nest almost before I noticed that it was in a birch tree, and then I was flooded with a nostalgic something, because how long has it been since I've seen the pretty, peeling bark of a white birch?

It was a good walk, oddly made me appreciate the flat of the soccer field more (pansy Floridian!). But I was grateful for the time in the woods today...it's a bit of an introspective day. I was editing a site earlier, for an outfit that mainly sells heat packs made of rice, those things you throw in the microwave to relieve aches and pains. Last Christmas, my Lilsisinlaw handmade one of those suckers for her dad, Dad J, who was in quite a bit of pain by then as the cancer ravaged his body. I could picture her, working it on her sewing machine, hand-stitching it closed, praying over it to infuse it with healing energy (she's gone witch too, about 2 years now). I remember her pleasure as she took pictures with her new camera, in the hospital room as he unwrapped his gifts. We lost him exactly a month later. I don't grieve nearly the same with Dad J. After losing my dad, there was a been-there, done-that feel to my sadness. But it knocked me today, and his spirit is close by, in my heart.

How the hell is it Thursday?

More Reems Creek shots...also, Dark Meadow has new posts.

I actually thought it was Wednesday as I typed that subject line, but then I remembered I watched The Americans last night and was like, "oh shit, where's the week going?"

First 3 days of this week, there were barely any sites in the queue. They finally let the editors slack off yesterday and it built up enough where today's been steady, but damn...I need more work soon.

There's not much going on here other than work, the occasional errands, and no potential employers calling me back. That nibble I got late last week could be a steady gig, but it won't happen for a couple of weeks (it's a start-up disguised as a 4-year-old business). I've almost given up on Soomo, because the lady does not answer emails at. all. Bet if I send her an invoice for the work I did for her in November, I'll get an answer ;)

And I applied for my dream job: PT retail worker at a farm store. Throwing some serious prayers toward that one, because even though it's almost too far out of town to justify the commute against what they'll be paying me, the experience I'd get ... makes me want to jump up and down like a kid!

I'm getting a little obsessed. Starting to check out seed catalogs and plan the garden. I know I'm a pinch late on this, but I blame the move. Wrote my landlord to see what's allowed with regards to planting out front. Could've blown off that step probably, given they never come around, but would rather know it's allowed, than assume and be told to remove a couple hundred pounds of topsoil later. Subscribed to Grit (I already get Mother Earth News). Finally allowing myself free time in the evenings and it's being spent reading and knitting. So damn sweet to have yarn back in my life :)

Yea, what I meant was.....

Let's file that last post under "Who the f*** do you think you're kidding?"

Dark Meadow Farm did move to Wordpress, and it will have a much more specific purpose, revolving around the topics of sustainable living, organics, gardening, clean and kind food, the city of Asheville, and a touch of Buddhism. I placed the link up at top right for your reading pleasure.

But I can't just drop this sucker...no one writes in journals anymore, and I need somewhere to bleed onto a keyboard occasionally. I'll be rearranging this one a bit, to assuage my boredom.

So expect to still catch the occasional whine here. The occasional completely random post or rant about FWPs like Spotify playlists that put you to sleep, which you have no business whining about because you built them yourself...or my continued vehement hatred for the TV show Fairly Oddparents.....

I'll still chat about my successes and failures here, and let y'all know about what's going on in Asheville. I'm thinking of volunteering at some festivals this year. I'm creating a book proposal, so this should be a character building year of rejection! There's a family reunion up here in June (my mom's clan) that should be interesting. I come from a rather huge family and introducing Les to some of them for the first time will be a hoot!

Hope you stick around!

We're Moving!

And my loyal 6½ readers scratch their heads and think, "wait a minute...didn't they just move?"

Not that kind of moving...BLOG moving! After about a year of internal (and occasional external) whining about how boring Blogger was getting for layouts and templates, I've found an equally boring template over at Wordpress (that I expect will change 3 times in as many days this week). I also realized it behooves me to figure out how to friggin' work Wordpress (which is NOT as user-friendly as it claims to be), because I'm hopefully going to be copywriting blog articles at one of my future part-time gigs. So I decided to shell out the $18 to buy a .com domain.

Enter: http://darkmeadowfarm.com

Why Dark Meadow and not Ember Madrone? Because I'm hoping to change my format too. I've used this sucker as a diary for years and years, and it's been a good, little therapy source. But it doesn't necessarily make people rush back to read it. I want to teach people granola stuff, and write about living sustainably. I hope to have giveaways. I'll be adhering much more closely to an informative plan, and the adage "if you don't have anything exciting to say, STFU."

I will also be writing still about our quest for our own farm, and in the interim, about the steps I take to teach myself what I want to know to succeed at that endeavor. We may still be stuck in apartment hell, but there will be planting this year, herbs and vegetables. There will be a harvest. There will be hopefully more kitties and maybe a puppy (and I've never owned a dog, so that's a whole other learning experience). We will repair our credit and build our savings, a dollar at a time, with the hope of being able to land shop in about 2 years' time.

See, normal people just throw down the new link and say "see ya!" It's gonna be interesting, measuring my words more carefully. Never has an editor needed her own services so badly :)

I hope you'll join me over at Wordpress!

Snow!

 

I stepped outside this morning and carefully skated around the driveway with the camera. The air was bitingly chill, and my wet hair turned crunchy as I snapped away. I was grateful for my stronger legs and my lug-soled boots, because the driveway was icing over rather than melting, but it also reminded me how much work I still have to do (getting into shape), because if I did take a tumble (with my knees), I would be in a world of hurt.

 

My everything aches today anyway, because I did get outside yesterday! Websites dried up around 2PM, so I put on a sweatshirt, old sneaks, grabbed my gardening tools, and got my hiney out there. I crawled all over the front patch, clipping saplings and overgrowth. So glad I did, because it helped me really assess how planting might go in that area, and what areas I'll give up on and just mulch. I was hoping to clear out ALL saplings, but a couple of them were large enough where I didn't have the heart or the tools to clip 'em. I took pictures of the area, to catalog where the sun hits mid-afternoon, but I'm thinking it's gonna be a whole different story once that main tree buds and blooms. I may end up doing a bunch more container gardening than I originally thought, simply because the raised bed areas that I have laid out in my head won't get enough sun. Glad I'm checking this stuff out now.

 

Also transplanted the aloe FINALLY! Good thing too, because if the soil was any indication, that sucker was not long for this world...had a rotten smell when I took it out and broke it down. I ended up tossing 2/3rds of the plant and all the soil. But I did get a bunch of babies into new soil, which now sits in the light of the 2nd bedroom windows, and will hopefully rally.

 

Roads still look icy, but the snow's melting, so my car has icicles on the bumpers. Don't see the novelty of my new climate wearing off anytime soon. Hard to mind being homebound, when you have a full pantry and such a beautiful area to live in.

 

Have a great weekend, y'all!

Rallying

Old pic, but almost how the ground looked this morning... :)

Finally got a pinch of seasonal affective yesterday...it rained all freakin' day, and by the end, I was over it. Yesterday was just meh, couldn't focus on work...which is hilarious when you consider I managed to snag another potential bit of employment in a phone interview in between hardly working. This keeps up, I'm going to be working 6 things at once, but at least I'll make enough to buy crappy insurance to get us started. And this would be a part-time steady gig! Fingers crossed...

We opened the windows yesterday though, and the rain combined with the rushing of the brook in front was really nice to hear. This morning there was a dusting of snow on the ground, and the temps are back to cold, so I'm in a better place. Now if I can just get out in it...

We bought 2 bags of organic potting soil the other day. I WILL put my hands in the dirt today. Then tonight while vegging, I'll write up some plans on how I'd like to plant out there.

Cash low, but I should get paid tomorrow, provided direct deposit cooperates, and the bills are all up to date. Feels good.

Maintaining

Yup, Khan was a pussy here....once again, no snow. Oh well. Enough ice to take a picture anyway.

Work is still sketchy. I'm making enough to pay the bills, not enough to buy health insurance yet. Got some more nibbles for freelance work last week that I'm hoping will turn into something.

Here's a thinker: if your average health insurance plan doesn't recognize a specialist doctor visit copay until you pay their ridiculous deductible, then how hard should I be looking initially for insurance when we'll be paying out of pocket anyway? I get that whatever we pay would go toward the deductible and give us the added safety net...just seems illogical when you're only looking at it from a cash standpoint. Just venting...I have two trains of thought in my head nowadays: "wow, January meandered nicely, allowed us to really settle in..." combined with "holy fuck, how is it almost February already?!?!"

How does anyone get a job nowadays? I've applied to everything I can tolerate, it seems, and it's all "don't call us, we'll call you." Hell, one place even has in their material that if you do call them, it knocks you out of the running for the job. WTF?! When did companies get so picky? This ain't just Obamacare, it's the whole economy sitch making folks put much more effort into their selection processes, so that they're not wasting money on someone. Meanwhile, those of us who would be happy ringing up groceries in the interim, get the shaft because it would be more cost-efficient to hire a high-schooler who might actually stay with them? I'm a little frustrated...

Gonna go put my hands in the dirt. There's a nursery up yonder where I'm hoping to procure organic soil that doesn't have the words "Miracle Gro" or "Scott's" on it. Queues are dry, so I'll work later tonight. There's a dying aloe plant and herb seeds getting my attention today.

Patience

Working hard here. I try to crank out 20 sites most days, but the queues aren't always accommodating. The weather was wonderful-sunny most of the week, and today Khan (really, Weather Channel?!) is trying to make things slick. We're supposed to get snow, but I'm betting it'll stick to freezing rain. Good thing we don't have anywhere to go, really. I was hoping to get my 2nd check from the dotcom today, but I'm learning that living out in BFE means slower mail service. It sucks, but hopefully this is the only time I'll be dealing with money issues because of it...my direct deposit should kick back in next check.

And funny thing is, we don't have money issues, not really. Yes, it's definitely helped having Mom J. here again (she's visiting because we lost Dad J a year ago today, and she wanted to be anywhere else than home), because she's been cooking the last 2 nights and sneaking grocery runs in...but we would have been OK if she hadn't, so her kindness is surplus, which is sweet. I had just bought chicken breasts, and we have plenty of dry goods, so I probably would've tried some variation on burrito bowls this week. I need to do that anyway, so that the lack of Chipotle in my life doesn't make me twitchy. Gods, I love that place!

The job hunt is daunting still...really makes you feel valued when not even the crappy retail sales positions are calling you back...but not much choice than to keep trying. My "cold calls" - where I send my resume and snazzy cover letter to companies without warning - have produced another potential freelance opportunity, which certainly helps keep hope alive here. I feel like I don't know how to gather work myself, because it's such a new prospect; and then I realize I really do have the basics down. Put yourself out there, period. Worst case scenario: they don't call or email, you lose nothing in the bargain.

My gods, the money we/I wasted living in the city! I look at my money coming in and my amply stocked pantry, and I'm able to earmark a little cash for organic potting soil, to transplant the aloe and get the herbs going. That's money that was never really there in Jacksonville, because I was eating it...at McDonald's, at Starbucks, wherever I could get a quick fix. Here, the fast food is only 5 minutes away, but why run up there when you've got sandwich stuff at home? Sad that it takes moving into the semi-boonies to make me less lazy about finances, but with the pay cut I took, my mind is always in a different area now..."if we buy that, will there be enough for gas later in the month?" and it breeds responsibility.

Yes, I'm 43, why do you ask?

::sigh::

I hit that path back on Tuesday for walking/exploring purposes, but alas it doesn't run long. It opens up into a clearing, where the path extends way up a steep hill, but when I got to the top, I realized I'd be walking into someone's backyard basically, so I hiked back down. Under the heading of "you can't take the packrat out of the girl...", I found an old hood from a vintage VW bug back in those woods, which I carried home and am thinking of cleaning, spray-painting baby blue, and using as one end of a hoophouse once I start planting out front. I think the hood will need daisies painted on it too. This is what happens when I go exploring after reading about the River Arts District in Asheville. When I'm worrying about book proposal ideas, I'll take whatever creativity rears its head.

Happy Friday, y'all! If you live in Khan's wrath path, stay safe!

Progress

Iago's a dicktease. Well, snowtease, but the first word relays my irritation better. Not a flake was seen at 3,000 feet. My Lil Sis and Mom got a nice coating of the white stuff, but nooooooo...

At least the storms gave way to sun. After 3 solid days of rain, the daystar broke through. It's cold and bright out, and I itch to put my hands in the dirt, when I really have no business doing so yet, given the temps, never mind that I keep forgetting to re-cover the aloe and it's seriously pissed at me. As soon as my checks come in next week, I'm going to the local nursery for some organic potting soil and break that sucker up. I know the babies under the big leaves are still OK, and would like to keep it that way.

Such potential!!!

The 2nd bedroom ain't perfect, but I managed something today that I really wanted, at least for now...the closet doors close. The closet has been spilling out into that bedroom, and we've got more family visiting this coming week. It's going to be hard enough concentrating on work without kicking myself for the purging we still have to do. Which is silly, since the house is already way beyond better than the dining room of the old apartment looked for like, the last 5 years. Talk about perspective.

Unexciting pic, but source of pride :)

Mom J's coming back up to visit this week, as well as LilSisinLaw next weekend. This coming week is the first year anniversary of Dad J passing, and I certainly can't blame Mom J. for wanting to be anywhere else (he passed at home). Still, now that I'm working regular and trying to find real work still, I may make myself scarce a bit. I've gotta find a job with bennies, and don't have the time to socialize. Sounds shitty, but it is what it is. If we had medical insurance, I'd neglect the crap out of work to hang with her, but until then...

I assuage my green thumb itch by going outside, moving stuff around out front, thinking about what I'd like to do out there. It's a small space, to be sure, but when I clear it and remulch, I should be able to do flowers on the borders, greens in small raised beds, and herbs in containers. Hot damn!

Couch is an AMAZING hand-me-down from the Johnson homestead.

Entertainment center scored at a going-out-of-biz sale

Kitchen we can move around in!

We rarely had visitors at the Jax apartment, because it was such a hole, so it's not like Meara had a whole lot to compare this place to, but I think she was suitably blown away by how homey we'd managed to make it in so short a time, on limited funds. We haven't even hung pictures still, just curtains (and that in itself is such a source of pride too!) Mom called it a diamond in the rough, but given the age of the building, I think of it more as a rough in a diamond...because I just can't get enough of the mountains. My eyes soak them up every time I go for a drive, and I grin for no reason other than the relief I feel at not being in Florida anymore. The air's different here, I'm definitely more relaxed (in spite of the worry about finding a real job)...there's just so much I love about the area!

We went to the local pizza joint the first night Mom and Lil Sis were here, and it was cemented that that place will get our money whenever we have need for a break from our own cooking. Local tap beers, scrumptious handmade NY-style pizza (with meatballs!), and seriously friendly atmosphere with local music almost every night. They even prep pizza that you can take home and bake, and they deliver to our road. Oh. darn :)

That's the back of the kitchen. The washer and dryer were scored at a used appliance store by Mom J., as well as the twin bed that now sits in the 2nd bedroom, so honestly, she can visit whenever the heck she wants to, within reason, because buying those up-front would've been a bit of a hardship. We're being super-careful with money, but my goodness...it's really showing me the money I blew in Jax on fast food and other crap we didn't necessarily need, because while things are damn thin right now, we're living much more authentically, keeping off the fast food, and not wasting our resources wherever possible.  Hell, even the emotional eating I do here is better for me...I made energy bars again using Terry Walters' recipe from Clean Start, and I'm making cookies this week to take care of our sweet cravings.

 

Instead of late Christmas/New Years' cards, I was thinking of writing letters to some of my friends. Probably a pipe dream, given I barely have time to scratch my watch or wind my butt these days, but maybe in the evenings......last evening, I was plowing through a box of mementos and found a cache of old letters from friends. Rereading those suckers was delicious. I remembered living vicariously through Katherine in Europe and at Furman, through Alexa at MIT, Egypt, and NY.....

One thing I really hate about the Internet is how it's killed letter writing. I get that as we get older, letter writing takes a big backseat to real life, marriage, kids, etc., even without the Internet for a distraction...and I was never any better at writing letters than anyone else. But still, making the effort ...

Waiting

So there's this storm called Iago, that's supposed to be hitting my little town in the next coupla hours...

He's late. This annoys me. I want my snow!

I know, I know...I should relax. I'm definitely not mocking the storm. I have a high school friend who lost her mom to black ice on a CT roadway. And we still don't have snow tires.

I hopped out to grab a few things today, because we have no intention of hitting the roadways for the foreseeable future. If we get nutty, there's a convenience store within walking distance, but given our financial sitch, we'd have to be pretty desperate for crap food to go there. We're otherwise stocked, and assuming the power holds, life will go on as normal. I need the laptop time, so I'm hoping we don't lose power; but at the same time, I'd love to tuck into the Little House books for the umpteenth time, reading them by candlelight with hot chocolate on the side. Thinking that's gonna happen tonight regardless...

I think I read that Asheville didn't get any snow last year, so this winter's been nice for the locals. Thing is, even though it snowed the first night we got here, and a couple of days after, I barely remember it because we were so insane at the time. Les's mom was visiting, we were getting settled, my body was in pretty decent pain that first week, and we were numb mentally from the move. This snow, I want to enjoy. Plus we finally found the blankety-blank camera!

First photos! We're the door on the left, the cat was a neighbors'...we're leaving the kitty condo outside for any ferals that need a hideaway from the cold. The ugly plastic shelving used to be our bookshelves, and I can't wait to harden off seedlings on the sucker. The lease also states I keep the flower bed weeded...they don't know what they've gotten themselves into, signing me. I'm hoping to rake up the whole thing, 86 the errant saplings, and plant greens and flowers. Just gotta wait for actual spring...

The brook is our front yard :) Just past the driveway is a couple of steps leading down to it and an ancient playset for kids. Good thing the playset is ancient or I'd probably hit the swings tomorrow. I so love it here!

Still here...

FINALLY unpacked the camera cord.....!

Now where the hell did I put the camera?

Stashed the dang thing when we were flying around here getting ready for Mom and Lil Sis to visit.

Job hunting full bore this week...very little sites to work with.

Gentle, soaking rains here...making our brook full out front.

Cup still runnething all over the place :)

More later...

Friday musings

Still not enough hours in a day...

I'm working, but I'm still not up to speed, and that's gonna hurt our wallets very soon. Starting real job search Monday.

We're still not fully unpacked, and that's starting to suck on a nitpicky level. I'm no stranger to having a box or three around, and I'm OK with the 2nd bedroom closet serving as box storage for the near future...it's the little stuff, like how my makeup still resides in one of 2 clutterpiles, so if I want to go job hunt on Monday, I should really organize that area and where's the time for that nonsense? I'm on the computer from morning to early evening, then we eat and unpack and move more shit around...and I fall into bed wiped at night. I'm not complaining, believe me...just whining a little. Last 2 nights I've made an effort to relax a little, and realized I don't have the time to do that yet. Silly, I know, but still...

Probably one of several reasons why I'm leaning back toward Buddhism a bit. Went to a service at the Unitarians last weekend, and it was fine. But it was just fine. And sometimes you need a little inspiration or moving speech. I don't know...this place is so peaceful, I think my big want right now is to study that, deepen it...NOT take it for granted like I always do. And I'm so used to letting life live me, rather than the other way around, that recognizing that I have that peace in my life right now, makes me realize how very much I want it to stick around. And how creating a time in the mornings before work to meditate, and then spending my days living presently....how wonderful to have reached a point where that's even possible, where I'm not already looking ahead, looking ahead, to getting us out of our most current rut, because we're not in one right now...and maybe, just maybe, don't have to go back into one?

I could weep, rereading that last bit...we really are starting fresh here. I'm the same person, but we don't have to make the same mistakes we made in Jacksonville...learning and growing is possible. Whodathunk...

Mom and Meara visiting this weekend. So terrific that they're only 2ish hours away :)

Image from here.

Apples and popcorn

Yea, still can't find the camera cord. Don't judge me. There's still unpacked boxes in too many corners of this place. Almost 2 weeks here already and I look around and wonder...my days still need about 48 hours in 'em.

Work is painfully light, so I'm having to make the adjustment to doing sites later in the day, after the in-house editors have gone home. Dropped my résumé to 2 temp agencies today, applied for 2 more spots elsewhere, and the Soomo lady is getting a phone call tomorrow. That's the local company that tossed me a pinch of freelance and might be hiring another editor this year.

Took a jaunt around town today, lots of turnarounds as I get used to the roads and their maddening signage. A given exit may have 6 different route signs directing you, and everything is east/west here, when you'd think it should be north/south, so remembering where you are and where you're headed is vital.

We found a steal of an used entertainment center at a place nearby, and killed most of the rest of our reserve dough @ Target yesterday, buying bookshelves and little finishing touches. There's still things we need, but it'll need to go on a list for later. Thankfully, there's plenty of meat in the freezer and the pantry is pretty stocked.

The subject line? Just my lunch, after getting home today :) Very pleased with myself, went on my Asheville jaunt right around lunchtime, but I wasn't hungry yet, so brought both coffee and tea, and an apple with me and steered clear of the fast food. We really can't afford slip-ups of the McDonald's kind right now, financially, and of course, that shit's no good for you anyway. Still, it's a step in the right direction from a girl who used to ignore her home-packed lunch to hit the local McD's out of laziness and cravings. Baby steps rock!

Windows open for a bit...low 50s here, not quite balmy, and we're headed into several more days of overcast, looks like, so enjoying it while we can. No snow forecast til later next week. I'll take it, rain and all. It's so damn lovely here!

Image from here.

Hi there!

Still deliriously happy. Not enough work at the dotcom to go around right now, which is skeery, but I'm determined to steal all their sites tonight and this weekend, and then copywrite the rest of the time.

I putter around the kitchen in a dance-y haze, there's so much delightful room to move around in. The washer and dryer have been humming today, and the 2nd bedroom is s...l...o...w...l...y looking better. Today is filing cabinet day, and with the advent of so much paperless, I'm realizing just how much I can purge. We need a shredder.

Two sets of curtains up, the living room and bedroom. Hot-diggety-damn!

Entertainment center probably getting procured tomorrow at the local Hospice thrift store. Delivery price could be better, but it's still a steal over retail, never mind that we're helping a good cause.

Thanks to Pinterest, I'll be hitting up Joann's tomorrow to see if they have those unfinished crates for like, $9 a pop. Anything's an improvement over the box stacking I've been doing to give the books homes. It's OK for the 2nd bedroom right now, but still looks seriously tacky.

Now seriously, where the fuck is my camera cord so I can show you guys pictures?!

More soon! Have I mentioned lately how I love it here? Hit the Blue Ridge yesterday for a piece, accidentally on purpose...those are some holy-crap hills! Also got to see a nursing calf at a Polled Hereford farm on the way. Can't wait to explore more with the camera!

New Years

Having trouble realizing it's New Years. The move is definitely still front and center as we chip away at the boxes. The holiday didn't help, and we both hope we never have to move around Christmas ever again, because it really does wear on you and leave you missing the spirit.

Started taking pictures finally and realized I haven't unpacked the camera cord yet to download them, so this one's snitched from Tumblr. Les, Mom J., and I are relaxing and waiting for the ball to drop, but I'm so tired...

We ran errands today, got to see more of Asheville. Dang holiday has downtown busy...we were going to hit French Broad Chocolate Lounge, but just couldn't deal with the traffic/parking sitch.

I've been here less than a week, and we've had snow twice. The gods are gifting me nicely, making it just light enough where it doesn't leave us homebound, in spite of our lack of all-weather tires. Les bought salt for the trunk, and is putting together an emergency kit for the car. It's nice to see him take charge on certain things. He's been amazing, working through headaches, and it's helped him see what he's capable of. Certainly helps that he has family members who let their disabilities control their lives...helps him see how he doesn't want to live.

Mom J. heads back home to Aiken tomorrow. It's been a good visit for all parties concerned. We're ready to tear into the 2nd bedroom, which is harder when there's a guest utilizing it, so her departure is well-timed (plus I start work Wednesday). I'll work sites this week, organize myself, and hit the ground running next Monday. I know I said January 2nd for starting the job hunt, but given the state of the apartment still, it's more realistic to finish unpacking.

Still can't believe we don't have to go home to Florida. I voice this, and Les reminds me that this is home now. My cup runneth over!

Image from here.

...

There's just so much. So busy. Such physical work. The holiday. The mom-in-law accompanying us to Weaverville, such a blessing, for her and us. Unpacking, bit by bit. Kitchen nearly set. Washer/dryer arrived today. Walmart trip for provisions done, gift cards procured before and during holiday cut that bill in half. Curtains purchased, hopefully up tomorrow. Camera not unpacked yet. Master bedroom is about halfway there, guest room is a cluster. We're contemplating an entertainment center for the living room and some bookshelves. Want to investigate the Habitat for Humanity ReStore and Aaron's Rent to Own, because cash is getting...

Did I mention the washer/dryer? Oh, I did...well, let's mention those suckers again. I've been hoofing it to laundry facilities for 18 f-ing years. Mom J. has a knack for finding local stores. We found a used set for $315 and they threw in a toaster oven for $5. I'm still reveling in our good fortune.

The apartment may be older than it looks, and initially its size was a concern; but now that we're unpacking and finding places for stuff, it's quite adequate. The kitchen is a frickin' dream, amazing cabinet space and room to move around in. I want to weep with relief. Master bedroom too, room to move around in, in spite of the king-size bed. Living room still rough, will tackle that a bit more tomorrow. Mom J. sticking around til New Years' Day, looks like, and then we'll be in a better position to tackle the 2nd bedroom.

Pics soon...just so much to do. We got snow the first night, slowed down our travel just a pinch. But yesterday, I got us out to Walmart and Lowe's and around town just a bit. Today we hit the local bead shop for Mom J., and I got to visit one of the local yarn shops. Felt good to pet fiber again.

I'm dropping weight from all the activity and my body is screaming at the end of the day. I look forward to working out more gently soon. My knees were pissed the first couple of days, but today they finally gave me a breather from the pain. My right foot is another story. I've learned just how much arthritis I have, thanks to this move. The desire to retard that and find more homeopathic methods of dealing with the pain is high on my list. Luckily, I'm in the right place to investigate that further.

More soon.

Auto-Pilot

Happy Solstice & Merry Yule!

The only problem I have with being adequately medicated is when it keeps the good stuff out too. I suppose I should be grateful, because the level of hyperactivity I should be feeling about how close we are (to my dream of getting the hell outta Florida), would make it hard to actually get stuff done. It's bad enough I don't have enough lists made for my liking, though it's pretty easy to take a good look around the apartment and see what still needs to be done.....

So I guess it is good that I'm on an even keel, because even with that, I'm pretty much on auto-pilot right now. Finishing up last day of work, and looking ahead to what still needs to be done. Tonight, stop by Home  Depot and pick up plastic, grab something for dinner, say goodbye to Lil Bro. Pack everything else in the house. Les is hopefully doing a chunk of that while I'm at work. Pass out at decent hour, because we need to get up at decent hour to pick up truck. Movers come at noonish. Sheer chaos for about 3 hours. Don't forget their tips, that goes on tonight's list, when I deposit the holiday bonus check. Odds and ends when they leave tomorrow afternoon...we're keeping the TV hooked up for something to do, and crashing on air mattresses. Sunday morning, we head to SC.

Christmas without Dad and Grandma...that's gonna be physically painful. I'll push those feelings out of the way by baking and helping Mom and being with her however I can. We're spending Christmas in Aiken, then heading up to Asheville on Boxing Day. I'll blow through town to stop by the rental office and square us away, get the keys, and Hubs will likely continue on to Weaverville with the truck. We meet those movers around 12 noon.

It's really happening.

I've been distracting myself when needed with two amazing new books: Homegrown & Handmade by Deborah Niemann and Home Dairy by Ashley English. Reading these is when I get the "my cup runneth over" feeling...and I think about making my first attempts at cheese in my new kitchen (small, but NOT a galley!!!), using local milk, or tucking my first seeds into fresh soil and pots. I already have the seeds to start an herb garden, bought them awhile back from Annie's. I really hope to set up a planting area near the window in the dining/kitchen area, but if not, it'll go in the 2nd bedroom, and the heck with how crowded it's gonna be in there!

Probably offline the next couple of days, understandably. When we're not doing holiday stuff, we'll be doing move stuff. I have access to the Web in SC, but hilariously, no one has figured out what the new password is for Mom J's Wi-Fi router, so I can't log onto their system with my units.

Have a wonderful holiday, y'all! Stay safe!

Images from here.

Home stretch

Asheville could get flurries on Friday. I'm almost sorry I'll miss them. I say almost, because things get real when you're moving back to that type of weather, and we need to save for all-weather tires for the car. I swear we've barely had these tires for 20K miles and the damn things are skidding in the back since we rotated them. Makes me so angry what a throwaway society we've become.

I'll start freaking out tonight. Got a couple more boxes packed last night, and made myself a list. The lease is in my computer, just waiting to be printed and read. Looks about normal. We got lucky and the rent is a little lower than originally listed! Can't tell yet if they'll let me string a clothesline or plant outside. Cat fee is lower than I thought it would be too.

Hubs brought up the point that we should empty the closet tomorrow night so the cat has someplace to be when the movers are here. It's a good idea, so I'll probably be doing some moving around and breaking down of furniture tonight, to get a head start. Shit's getting real.

Doing this over the holiday really does blow. It's an itch I can't scratch. This time of year, I'm baking up a storm to supplement presents, and I want to be making wreaths or at least decorating with pine, testing whether or not Les is still allergic to it. I want to have a pantry of canned goods to use as presents. I'm thinking ahead to strawberry season already, and I want to find a decent salsa verde recipe. Amanda's been cross-stitching lately, and the intricacy of that craft interests me too. I'm ready to be settled in a new place.

Jenna's post was thoughtful today. The way she describes riding horseback, is the way I remember feeling when I used to ride a bike. Given we're moving back to hills, I'm not nearly in shape to bike right now, so it's fine that I don't currently own one, but that's something else that will be saved for in the next year. If nothing else, this year will be teaching us true frugality. I"m scared right now, but determined to do well. Christmas bonus was a pleasant surprise (little bigger than usual), so it's going right in savings for February's rent. I just know that while life is dragging its arse right now, once we're there, we'll blink and January will be gone. I pray I'm gainfully employed (more better) by then.

I'm expecting Les to sleep in on the 27th, but I just know if my body's not completely spent, I'll be out walking, getting to know my new neighborhood. Our rent is just low enough to spook me about the area in which we're moving to, but given how small the town is, I'm not too worried. I'm used to living in slightly depressed conditions, and our building is at the beginning of a road that leads to a trailer park, so we're not talking luxury here. But we're also talking about a town that hasn't had a murder in at least 10 years. I'll take it. :)

Image from here.

Need a little...

Can I wallpaper the apartment with this picture?

It doesn't feel like Christmas this year, or Yule, or whatever nearly-atheists celebrate. The move is completely front and center, and the holidays are just a hiccup in between next week. We'll exchange pressies and eat well, and then breathe a sigh of relief.

I'm pretty OK with that, because I'm planning to spend January building a home. It will have seasonal touches and a lot of warmth, even though we're exchanging one box for another, even though there's still no yard, even though...

I always get reverse-seasonal-affective this time of year, so there's that too. Cranking up to frickin' 80 here today. Though to hear Yankees tell it, there's not much winter there yet, this winter either. Very little snow and unseasonably warm. I rage with what humans are doing to the planet....and how blind so many still are to the effects of our actions.

Recycling is only open in our area on the weekends, so we're putting more in the trash this week. That blows, but it can't be helped. We're already carrying too damn much "stuff" to NC; can't afford to bring our recyclables too...though I can see the argument that the planet can't afford for us not to. Sigh. Maybe I'll atone when we get there, with a compost bin and a rain barrel...have to see, though; we live just close enough to the Blue Ridge where a compost bin, even a closed one, could attract bears. This mostly amuses me.

Under the heading of "Toto, this ain't gonna be Kansas," I realized that we're likely too far from civilization to get decent pizza delivery, but that we're in the right ZIP code to pay a bit more and get local milk (and other products) delivered to our door. I hope we can budget that in, because it looks worth the dough, and I damn sure don't want to be hitting up the local Walmart out of laziness when for pennies more, we can get stuff straight from local farms. It's so time to walk the talk!

We've purged and purged, and I just know that as we unpack next week, there are going to be more piles of "wow, why do we still have this?". Hope we can find a local bookstore that takes trade-ins...and thrift stores...and Goodwill...and.....I'm crossing my fingers that we can find inexpensive bookshelves at the local Habitat ReStore.

I'm coming back around from being off the Paxil, new scripts in hand and more meds on the way, all's right with the world. Body almost done aching, though it's hard to tell the difference, because I'm getting a lot more physical activity these days...waking up refreshed, but falling into bed whipped. At least my jeans almost fit again.

So much still to do...wish I didn't have to work this week. Lord, I'm gonna miss the money and security though...we're feeling keenly the concern of not having medical insurance, even just for 2 weeks (or gods forbid, 2 or 3 months). And of the paychecks being even less steady than they are now. I know there's no point in looking for work next week, not really...between unpacking and the holidays, the temp agencies will barely be open...never mind that this is a significant move and we'd be smart to stay in, unpack, get settled, turtle a bit, explore slowly, and get acclimated. But you can bet that January 2nd, I'm hitting the ground running.

Image from here.

In Memory

I'm pretty sure the only reason I'm not a full Buddhist, is because of my realism...my recognition that the world that Buddhism aspires to won't happen in my lifetime. This knowledge makes it hard to find peace, which is ironic, given that that's all that the religion espouses.

I'm deeply saddened by today's events in Newtown, CT. I was born in Norwalk, we lived there til I was 5...then we moved north to New Milford, where we stayed til I was 11. Newtown is just east of Danbury, about halfway between Norwalk and New Milford. It feels like some asshole strafed my old stomping grounds, never mind that so many children, babies really, have died.

I get that a small part of this reaction is the lack of Paxil coursing through my brain. But really, it's more than that. Something has to make these tragedies real for a person, for things to sink in properly. When I first learned of Columbine, my reaction was almost one of indifference; just another painful reminder that there are sick people out there. Then I saw the movie Dawn Anna, and that tragedy took on the appropriate level of realness in my head. I guess that's just how it happens sometimes. Today, even though I haven't lived in CT since 1986, even though I have no children of my own, even though my family members up there are all accounted for...I mourn.

Since I don't have children of my own, I want to hug the children of others today. I want to hug my nephew and niece, and my friend Alexa's girls, who I haven't had the pleasure of meeting yet, and my friend Maureen's girls, and Lynn and Michelle's grandbabies. Let's toss Huxley in there too, and Amanda's gorgeous brood. Because it's about the little ones this time...they're talking about this as the 2nd worst school shooting in US history (after VA Tech), and all I can think is VA Tech doesn't count, that was college...I know all deaths in this manner are wrong, but dammit, today we're talking about babies.

I swear I'm talking myself into full Buddhism as I write this.

P.S. Picking up more Paxil tonight...should be rallying in another 48 hours or so...thank the gods!

Image sources on my Tumblr.

Holding

Not a holding pattern, mind you...just holding.

Gotta love how time falls sometimes...how certain events seem to conspire to fuck you. Nothing I can do about it now, but yet another thing to set on the list of "let's not let this happen again, whaddayasay?"

Move's still on target, no problems there.

Hubs has been carefully and smartly hoarding his meds for the last 3 months or so, in anticipation of this move. We won't have medical insurance initially, so this was necessary; he's on opiates and doesn't ever want to cold-turkey off those suckers again. (sidenote: last time he detoxed cold turkey, we were attending my ex-boyfriend's wedding. Further proof that God's a comedian.)

You'd think after oh, 15 years of being medicated myself, I'd have learned from his example. But my meds are much "easier" to get (read: not class II narcotics), so I tend to take them for granted. So when I went to the doc last month and asked her for a 3-month Rx for both of them, she said no problem and forwarded it to Walgreen's. I noticed my Rxs were coming due, and rang Walgreen's to see if the insurance had accepted them. Sure enough, they hadn't, which meant I would need to get them via mail order. OK, no problem, just place the order and then they contact the doc's office to fax the Rxs. And here's where relying on others bites you in the arse...for reasons beyond my control or understanding, the doctor's office has not sent the new Rxs to the mail order place. I've given them the fax number, left multiple voicemails and messages, and nothing's happened. If still nothing happens today, I'm thinking I'll have to show up on their doorstep before work tomorrow and fax the bloody things myself. Because here's the kicker: so much time has passed in this process, that I'm starting to detox from the Paxil. sshhh...haven't told Hubs yet...he gets ornery when this happens...

This isn't so bad this time...yet. I've been weaning, and I know what to expect. But still, it makes me want to wear a sign that says...

"Hello. I'm detoxing from Paxil. Please don't take it personally if I offer a completely irrational response to something you say. Actually, here's a better idea: just don't fucking bother me for the next week."

Sidenote #2: Late moon cycle just arrived today too. Insert maniacal laugh track here. Think Hubs will take exception to me having Yellowtail and Mallomars for dinner?

Image from here. 

New, much nicer holding pattern.....

The week creeps by...I'm catching a smidge of OT, probably for the last time here...not gonna want to grab any next week, will be a tad busy...waiting on lease...doing online shopping here and there for xmas...we're both procrastinating a pinch as we plod thru this week, but I'm sure the weekend will be something quite different...thinkingthinkingthinking...need to budget a bit...cat needs shots...wondering about a tranq for the trip too, for her...she's fine on long trips, so long as you can put up with a solid hour of meowing when you first start out...squeezing out some Y workouts before my membership ends...trying to eat meals from home...thinking about Michelle and Lynn...don't see them too often here, but I will definitely miss them...gotta call Cyril too, not sure Lil Bro knows we've solidified things...he works so darn much...wish his life weren't so hard...

Image from here.

T-minus.....

Yea, OK, too busy to count down, actually...besides, that'll probably make me even more twitchy than I currently am.

Not twitchy, actually...more like high. My thoughts bounce around quite a bit.....

Security deposit received by rental agency! Lease on its way!

Going to Y later, pants getting loose again...new workout regimen: pack all your belongings into boxes and hoist them to places in your apartment when you're not actually in shape to be performing that task. I've got a spot in my middle back that's a little angry, but mostly I just feel strong.

It won't feel like Christmas this year. It can't really. Even if we weren't moving, Les's family has had too much loss this past year to even know how to celebrate. Mom J. will celebrate by spending too much money as we get closer to the holidays...the rest of us will fake it. I look ahead to next year, because I doubt we'll actually be ready to move again a year from now, and if that's the case and we can renew where we're landing, then I will decorate and celebrate next year. It's been years since we've put the tree up; we probably need a new one. I'll have the whole wonderful outdoors to decorate with.

If my books weren't completely inaccessible, I'd dig out "Bunny Rabbit Concert" by Lawrence Welk. That would help get me in the mood; it's not a Christmas book per se, but it has awesome artwork. Also, I believe there will be a downloading (if possible) at some point of "Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas." I'd ache for Dad while reading/watching those, but it's so worth it.

Image from here.

Seriously, who moves @ frickin' Christmastime?

Apparently lots of people...almost couldn't get booking when and where I needed it. We got quite a bit of packing done Friday and Saturday...today's been more relaxed; Hubs' head is being its usual self, and it's my last day after a whole week off, so we're more chill. Lord though, the only thing keeping us from being completely overwhelmed, is the fact that most of our belongings have already made it into boxes. Les will work on packing this week, as will I, and I have 1 week left on my Y membership so I'm getting my hiney there after work this week too.

 

In just 2 weeks, we'll have all our belongings in a Budget rental, and we'll be in Aiken. We're spending Christmas with his family and driving north the day after. We're picking up some pretty excellent cast-off furniture from them while we're there...a couple of leather couches and a twin bed, provided we can fit everything...it's gonna be interesting.

 

The only nostalgia I'm feeling is for friends we're leaving...

 

Images from here.

So now what?

Yesterday was "holy shit, is this really gonna happen?!" day. We managed to scrape up enough to pay the rent at our current place, and I purchased the money orders for the security deposit. Today was logistics day: I went out first thing and mailed the security deposit, grabbed Hubs' xmas pressie, and spent a big chunk of the day on the ehem, new laptop (!!!! MAN, it's nice!) figuring out the move itself...I booked 2 Men & a Truck, did some online homework that had me laughing at the differences in pricing between even a not-so-large (and individually owned/franchise) outfit such as 2 Men vs. local, smaller moving companies, booked locals instead, cancelled 2 Men, and booked a Budget truck.

Still getting used to the touch pad feature of a laptop "mouse" and I can't figure out click and drag, so an outside mouse will be procured eventually. The laptop was almost an impulse purchase...Hubs and I went out Sunday just to look, and happened upon an HP 17" @ Best Buy with 4GB RAM, 500 GB drive, Intel processor, and Windows 8 in the $350 range...basically everything I wanted and priced a bit lower because it happened to be the last one of that type in their store. I'm over the moon! I wasn't sure we could really afford it, but Hubs was making it happen after I didn't win anything at the company holiday party. Every holiday party, they do a big raffle and give away gift cards, the latest electronics, a couple of big TVs, and even some cruises. The odds of winning ain't great, considering how incredibly big the company is growing...but I celebrate 13 years with the company today and have never won anything at that party. So first world, but Hubs wasn't taking no for an answer. Yea, I'll keep him :)

Can tell I'm getting headachy though, from being on the dang thing so much today, so if you'll excuse me, something very wonderful and special came in the mail today, that I look forward to tucking into, perhaps with some hot tea and a cookie.....

 

 

Image from here.



APPROVED!

The blasted brokerage money still hasn't dropped, but it should by tomorrow. The minute it does, we'll get a money order mailed off to Asheville and secure our spot in a 2 bedroom apartment in Weaverville, about 15 minutes outside of Asheville (and about 5 minutes from the Blue Ridge Parkway). If I still weren't so busy ironing out deets, I'd be shouting this from our rooftop...or porch, at least.

We're actually moving! It's finally happening!

Image from here.

Living in the present ...

... doesn't have to happen right now. And that's OK.

I've spent a good portion of today doing 3 things:

• Reading Ben Hewitt's blog archives
• Checking my Yahoo accounts to see if
• a) my brokerage account has updated and
• b) I've received any correspondence from either my leasing agent in NC or my freelance employer in same state.
• Checking my eTrade account in case it updated ahead of its email confirmation. This happened last time.

I loathe going into the weekend with things not solidified, but it may not be helped. If the money's not there, I can't put a security deposit on our place yet. Luckily, I spoke with the leasing agent and she mentioned another unit in the same buildings coming available next week, so if for some reason we lose our chance on the unit we're trying for, all would not necessarily be lost. Still...

We're so close to YES on this. And with that realization comes the subject line, because reading Ben Hewitt's blog has me dreaming big time, realizing that I'm a pansy for not wanting to build a home from scratch, that we haven't even scratched the surface on living lighter, that we're (mainly me) still so very, VERY tied to the conveniences of city life. I look at my eating habits in an average work day and can easily see areas for improvement, how with just a bit more effort and planning, I could bring more drinks, more snacks, how when I'm working from home 2 months from now, I'm certainly not going to want to waste the gas and dough for Starbucks when I could make a cuppa at home. And it has me dreaming for both near and distant future...near future includes possibilities like a clothesline even though we'll be living in an apartment building, maybe some cold frames or a portable greenhouse, which would have to be locked down somehow since we won't have any kind of porch in the new place; a compost bin...more distant future dreams have me wondering if 5 acres for our farm is too small, how I'd love access to our own trees for fuel, how rotating pastures for pigs and sheep requires more than a little patch of land.......these ideas belong on my infrequently visited Dark Meadow farm blog.......

My mood about independent contracting has been changing this week. Hells, yes, the first priority practically before we've opened the first box in the new place, will be finding temp-to-perm work somewhere with some sort of medical benefits. I checked COBRA and the rates are laughable, once you get your breath back from the shock of the numbers. So there's that. But there's also the realization that while things are going to be painfully thin at first, that we're also entering a phase where the world's basically wide-open to us...if I can pull off enough dough via contracting to get us by, then my real "job" doesn't have to be a career-builder, just something to get us bennies...and that means new possibilities. I already have a "career" as an editor, and hopefully it will drive my opportunities in the future.....but it doesn't have to define me.

Image from here.