Holding pattern

Too much to do and nothing to report, so here's an animated GIF to pass the time...

Image from here.

No avoiding it

Pretty sure it's gonna come whether I want it to or not. Pretty sure it's going to come whether we have the money to buy/make anybody anything or not. Pretty sure it's easier to give in and enjoy it a little...may be the only way to make it through the move sane.

Thanksgiving is past. Hello holidays!

Image from here.

What I learned

1. I know I'm out of shape and need to lose weight, but it takes an on-your-feet holiday like Thanksgiving to drive that notion home. My whole body hurts today.
2. French toast bake was a serious hit, may become annual-ish tradition.
3. I've never been so satisfied with my cooking, as when I tucked into a slice of pie, which was entirely made from scratch. With the exception of a 5-oz can of evaporated milk, everything else from crust to apple butter and pumpkin was homemade (or as close as you can get without owning a garden or orchard)...and I have plenty of leftover puree and butter to do my holiday breads now too. Unreal how nifty that feels.
4. Turkey needs a longer brine time, and nothing beats my husband's smoked bird boob still.
5. Yellowtail Sweet Red Roo is YUMMY!

What else...today will be spent noshing on leftovers, maybe doing a little baking, and move planning. I'm taking a checklist we found in a relocation mag and applying it to our progress, or lack thereof. I'm still pretty wiped, so I'm allowing today to be a pack-a-box, knit something kind of day...

Pre-Thanksgiving

My lower back is one large fist, but I'm having a blast. Threw together the brine, which was easy, but is proving the most pesky, because we left it covered when it should have gone in the fridge. I need the stock pot to make the apple butter, and at this rate, I may be knocking that out tomorrow morning. Popped the half frozen pumpkin in the oven. Peeled and sliced the rest of the apples (mental note: apples really do keep better in a fridge, if you don't have a root cellar). Those suckers were only a month old, but heading south. Peeled the skin off the pumpkin and pureed it, which was so ridiculously easy, I've decided to only buy canned now when it's out of season.

The apple peeler and corer is such a wonder too! Slices as it peels, just turn the crank! Then I realized the cover needed to come off the brine, and then get refrigerated. So I made the pie crust, which was also a little too easy to justify ever buying pre-made again. Popped that in the fridge, then made the breakfast casserole. Now I'm waiting just a bit longer for the brine to cool. Since the apple butter takes at least an hour on the stove, I'm thinking that'll be a morning task.

So on the docket for tomorrow morning will be the apple butter, the breakfast casserole, the potatoes, and then the pie; with the Macy's and the National Dog Show on the tube in the background (or NCIS in the bedroom, cuz I'm an addict and they're running a marathon on USA)...and green beans with orange peel last, cuz they're stove short-timers. I tossed the idea of rolls, since we're doing mashed; but I'm making those suckers this weekend too, cuz they look awesome. The turkey just went into the brine, in a bag in the roasting pan that I inherited from Mom, that hasn't seen action in some time (looks like this one). I love being able to give a 2nd life to Mom's old kitchen stuff. The potatoes will likely go into one of the Corningware casserole dishes I inherited too.

I'll dig out the cloth napkins and a table runner. If the Yule log is on On Demand, we may put that on, though neither of us is feeling the Christmas music yet. We're not huge football fans either, unless the Jags are playing/losing, so maybe we'll put on a movie tomorrow evening. We own Hunger Games, 2 of the last 3 Harry Potters, and Where the Wild Things Are, and have never watched them...real life gets in the way. I'm grateful for the chance to slow down.

Thanksgiving

My favorite holiday. Kind of odd, since we barely celebrated it when I was a kid, and we NEVER had turkey. Mom and Dad had both been scarred by years of turkey and its leftovers and were determined not to subject their kids to that. So I guess my love of Thanksgiving is reactionary...and fueled by my love of food, unfortunately.

I'm an OK cook, have had my share of successes and disasters. Working in the kitchen centers me. I like to defer to recipes, but I'm learning to trust my eye and identify flavors. Every year, I try a new side dish, and we almost always spend the day at home. Windows open, weather permitting, Macy's parade on the tube, relaxing and enjoying each other's company. I look forward to dragging family members out to our place someday, but for now, this works for us.

Hubs usually smokes a turkey boob on the grill, which tastes amazing, but we were concerned about the cooker not sustaining one more smoke job, plus we were looking for something different, so I'm brining a boob this year. There are new side dish recipes, I'm thinking of making rolls even though they won't necessarily get eaten (in the face of said side dishes), and Paula Deen's Apple Butter Pumpkin Pie for dessert, because Hubs adores it. This year I'm going old skool, roasting the pumpkin from Skytop, making apple butter from the rest of the Skytop apples, and making the crust from scratch ala Ashley English. I can't wait to discover the flavor differences.

Spoke with rental agent in NC and while we did get rejected for credit, they're still willing to have a cosigner, so I'll be moving on that paperwork this weekend. We're still in limbo, but I'm more confident after talking with her. I'll have plenty keeping me busy this weekend...I want to make white and wheat bread from scratch, try a new cookie recipe, do some side work on the freelance assignment (that she didn't assign, but will be good practice for me), pack the crap out of our house, and make lists. We're getting down to the nitty-gritty.

Too much to list that I'm thankful for...the trick will be reminding Hubs of this attitude. It's been a shit year for him, losing Dad and Grandma both, and it's harder to find the happy in the face of that, never mind that I'm uprooting us. He's ready to move too, but it's real scary the way we're going about it; and reminding someone who doesn't have faith to begin with, that he needs to acquire some for a specific venture, gets tricky.

Image from here.

Waiting

How do you keep a dick in suspense?
I'll tell ya tomorrow.

Alternate ending: Process their housing application right before Thanksgiving. Take your sweet damn time about it.

Just kidding, mostly. I only turned the damn thing in yesterday. But with the holiday this week, the suspense is killing me. Dawned on me this morning that it's the 20th. I'm trying to stop work 12/21. That's only a month away. You'd think I'd know better than to stop work on that day in particular, but I'm not an Aztec or a Mayan, so I just have to throw caution to the winds and stock up on canned goods now that the Twinkies are gone.

If we get accepted, I'll throw more money at them, breathe a weepy sigh of relief, and start packing like a madwoman.

If we get rejected, which I'm expecting, I need to get Les's mom's signature. Not the easiest thing, since she lives 2 states away, but I have a plan in mind involving our printers' ability to scan and the glorious concept of email. If my Lil Sisinlaw doesn't go home for the holidays, that process could be much more complicated than it needs to be, but I remain hopeful. The alternative involves me on a cell phone talking with my hands (because I am my mother's daughter), while my mother-in-law puzzles over her printer, wondering why she can't find the file the application scanned to. This will, of course, be happening while I have 3 things on the stove Thanksgiving day...

I'm scared enough about how little money I'll be making the first month we're up there and the possible lack of insurance...I'm going to run out of contact lenses in February, Hubs can't go without a pain management doctor, and we're both on daily meds. Not being insured isn't an option. So I'm seeing about COBRA, praying we can afford it, and the minute the offices open on January 2nd, I'm going to be down at Kelly Services or Snelling or whoever with my resume and winning personality, saying "put me to work!" Hubs will start looking once we're settled too. I'm probably too soft on him, but I don't expect him to rush out January 2nd like me...the guy hasn't worked in almost 10 years. I'm pointing him toward Buncombe County's vocational rehab programs, so he can ease into it.

It's still so damn tenuous. I'm sitting on a fence, ready to jump off, ready to fly.

Image from here.

oops!

Yea, Friday Favorites got blown off this past week too...I'm pretty sure I'm going to be unreliable with my posts for the next 2 months. Between juggling my first freelance gig (!!!) and getting a roof over our heads up there, all bets are off with regard to regular posts. Which I'm sure is a grave disappointment to my 6½ readers, but I have every intention of posting like a high-on-life madwoman once we've moved, about all manner of things, so stay tuned...

In the meantime, here's Tard again, cuz she just rocks!

Your excuses for lapsing on Friday Favorites are the essence of lame.

Image snitched from FB, but likely came from her site.

Giving it to the gods

When Christians wrestle with a problem, they are told to give it to God, to trust that the big guy knows what's best and will guide you in the appropriate direction. Dawned on me this morning that as a pagan, I don't have that. Well, as a control freak, I don't have it either...I have trouble with the concept of just letting something be and trusting fate or destiny to take its course in my favor. Which is funny in the face of how much I've let life just pass me by...but this isn't a self-flaggellation post.

But paganism, being polytheistic, makes this much harder, the release of worry at the fork in the road. I'm not heavy on the ritual of being a witch at all (you won't catch me nekkid in a field calling the quarters under a full moon), but I do have gods that I've studied more than others, as well as guardians that I call on to guide me at times. There are New Agers who are heavy on that level of study..."oh, I call on this god when I need this and I call on that goddess when I want that"...but that ain't my speed; how do you hang onto responsibility for your own life with that attitude?

This week has been pressing down on me, and we're quite close to taking a step off a cliff, and I'm recognizing that in order to get through it with my sanity and marriage intact, it would be wise to listen very carefully inside myself a bit.

This move is borderline irresponsible...it wouldn't happen at all if we had kids in tow, but since it's just the 2 of us and 1 large hairball (cat), we can take that leap of faith together and trust that we'll be able to survive the initial months of thin dough and scrambling for work, because we've come through so much already. But that doesn't assuage the worry, the blind fear of all that could go wrong once there. Would we be this afraid if the media weren't blasting the economy every time you turn on the TV/computer? Maybe not, but it's there, and to ignore it completely is to not respect it and risk it seriously kicking your ass.

The money should drop in my account today, enough to put down a security deposit on the apartment I have my eye on in Weaverville. We'll probably get rejected and need to sweet-talk them into taking us with a cosigner, but I'm ready for that. Until I'm certain we can't find a roof for over our heads up there, this dream lives on.

Image from here. 

Holding

Grumpy Cat is not impressed.

Sensing a pattern this week?

I seriously want this pic on a T-shirt with the incredibly witty caption "Fuck off!" To be worn every 30 days, if you get my drift.....

Along that same subject line, if you don't laugh your ass off at this week's New Girl episode, your funny bone is broken...

I woke up at 4AM and proceeded to obsess about the move for an hour...how insane is it to move with so few job prospects lined up what if we can't find a place how the hell are we gonna scrape by the first few monthsSONOFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!.....the morning brings some clarity, but things are still so damn up in the air. I swear, the minute the new $$$ drops into my brokerage account, I'm going to apply for a place so I can jump off the damn fence!

"November journal entry: starting to doubt my mission..." ~ Joshua Beal, Wide Awake

Luckily it's soggy, depressing, and muggy here, while Lil Sis in Charlotte woke up to 35F and gorgeous, so my perspective is still intact.

I've opened my mind to apartments again. Pretty sure the mobile home prospects are too restrictive or depressing to attempt. I'm recognizing the seriousness of our sitch, but I can't let go of the dream. If we can just get up there.....

Image from here.

Tard

 
I've been online all day occasionally editing websites while trying desperately to find us a house in the Asheville area that a) doesn't appear to be the size of a bread box, b) is within our seriously meager price range, c) has washer/dryer connections, d) doesn't make me want to pack heat while walking from car to house. It's NOT an easy task, I'm finding, and we're not eager to do much more traveling past loading up the UHaul, which means the possibility of renting something site unseen with a lotta prayers, so.....here's a pic of Tard snitched from the web, because she matches my mood right now and I have nothing else exciting to share.....

Image from here.

Political Rambling...

Pretty much still my mood as we go into the first official week of re-election...

And can I get a "hot damn!" that Florida went blue again...

I am thinking of starting a political blog, but for now, you'll have to deal with my liberal ramblings...

I gotta say, the conservatives did have some of us scared. I'm heartened to see that so much of it was smoke being blown.....but I'd still like to punch somebody in the throat over it. Dick Morris will do, if Karl Rove's not available.

Man, Fox offered an impressive stock of douchebaggery Tuesday night. I'd like to thank Megyn Kelly for injecting a shred of truth into the reporting that evening.

I really can't understand why I held their values for so long...I just wasn't thinking, I was following a herd (of guys I had crushes on at the time....geez, I should write an essay on when female hormones, and debilitating loneliness, shape voting trends). All I know now is that while the pundits may say we liberals are celebrating, what we're really doing is basking, for just a moment, in RELIEF...relief that our nation isn't really as tight-sphinctered as it appeared on TV, that our freedoms are still intact for the most part, and that those that aren't, we're still free to fight for. And while the conservatives sit around stunned silent, wondering where it all went wrong; we liberals will be getting up, dusting ourselves off, and getting back to work, the work of shaping compromise to keep our country running. I only hope we can get the right to the table too.

Dear Tea Party, OK, you got me, good one, thanks for the scare...now crawl back under your rock please...

So, as Jon Stewart pointed out, after 2 years and $3 billion, we're pretty much right back where we started. I swear, that's more frustrating than the fiscal cliff, because all that energy spent worrying over who was going to win, should have instead been injected into cutting pork, getting tax bills passed to increase revenue and social programs, finding green solutions for the horrific things we're doing to the environment...the list goes on, and I'm so sick of the career politicians in Congress who don't give a damn about their constituencies when it means the possibility of compromise...here's an idea: stop blaming the other side and start working for the people for once! Pretty sure the founders of our nation, the ones you're so fond of quoting, liked the latter idea back in the day...

Otherwise, I'm back at work, the weather's too warm here as usual, I'm chasing another mobile home up yonder and enjoying controlled hyperventilation over the state of the stock market, and I'm still out of sorts from the traveling...it was a weird weekend. Hopefully that'll change soon.

Image from here.

Of all the weeks to go offline...

I mean seriously...I know Grandma didn't plan to leave us, but being in a Republican house on Election Day was interesting, never mind that I needed to hit the sack at a decent hour that night because her funeral was Wednesday...and I still don't have access to the WiFi there because they switched out routers a while back and no one has any clue what the new password is...

Les watched the returns, but I just couldn't bring myself to. I wanted to be sharp for the next day, and couldn't take the pressure anyway. When Les popped into the room to let me know Romney had conceded, my first thought was, "OK, who are we grooming for 2016, because that was too damn close." I know the electoral college margin looks nice now, but my gods, the work we still have to do...man, the relief is nice though.

I like to think I need these little breaks from technology, and usually it's not something that gives me the DTs or anything, but damn...trolling the web to catch up 24 hours after we got home, it feels like we left the damn planet for a week.

So no Friday Favorites this week...I literally only hit the computer like, twice in the last week, to check stuff about the move. Incidentally, we lost the first house in NC that I was looking at, but I'm hitting the search again hard tomorrow...

This trip didn't feel exhausting at all, but my body and brain are telling me another thing entirely today. I've been napping, yawning, and slouching all day...more later this weekend.

Image from here.

Waiting

That post yesterday was written early in the day. By mid-afternoon, we got the news that Grandma wasn't improving...wasn't swallowing/taking food and was screaming whenever anyone touched her because she was hypersensitive to pain/touch. Changing IVs was becoming a physical battle. The decision was made to stop treatment. We think it'll be fast now, but I was reminded today that when we "stopped treatment" with Nanie, it was 2 weeks before God took her. Granted, Grandma's been fighting organ failure for a week now, but still...the balancing act of waiting for word while not wanting to count her out yet is a little exhausting.

Les barely slept last night, he tends to sit vigil; so I'm letting him grab what sleep he can because he'll likely take the train up there tomorrow night, and I'll follow when...I already used my bereavement time this year when we lost Dad J., but my work is willing to work with me and I have time to burn, which is great. I'm simultaneously trying to get a job 3 hours north of there and get us into a mobile home I have my eye on, but hey, I've never turned away from a challenge.

Prayers of strength please, for everyone concerned during this time.

Editor's note, later: I'll be offline this week. Claudia P. Hurt of Aiken, SC, went to Summerland Saturday, November 3, surrounded by her children.

Friday Favorites

Wild. It's like I took 2 weeks off from thinking anything about the move, and this morning, my brain turned back ON.

Damn good thing considering the timing. The last 10 months have gone by like frickin' lightning, and I'm fully expecting the last 2 of this year to do the same. Insert gutteral scream of panic here.

Today's one of those tropical paradise days down here. Cranking up to 80, blue skies, full sun. The above image is much more natural IMO for November, and even though the fog we had to drive through on our last trip to Asheville skeered the snot out of us, I still want more of it for the winter months. Just seems more natural. November is not for sweating. Besides, we need the lower electric bills.

Grandma's holding her own, getting feisty and as usual, completely out of touch with her limitations. She'd be home already, I think, if the doctors didn't still have her in critical care. I pray they find a good facility for her post-hospital, because the situation at home is so hard when she's not healthy.

Prayers welcome for us finding a home up there...I have a line on something, we'll see where it leads.

This week around the web:

• I discovered Uncommon Grace, where she let people see a week's worth of lunches she prepares, and most of the ideas are quite yummy looking (I started on the Tuesday link, because I'm not a spaetzle and mushrooms gal).
   
• So am I like, the last person to learn about the unknead method of making artisan bread?
   
• Such a great resource! Now if I can just find the time to read it...
   
• Permaculture crack
   
• Can't decide what's niftier, the information she offers or the fact that she lives on the Isle of Man.....
   
• And it's that time of year for Chai...I want to try this version first and work my way up to Ashley's...not a whole lot of difference...just needs to be done in stages.....cuz like, I didn't even know cardamom starts out in a pod!

Have a great weekend, y'all! 

Image from here.

Dreams of winter

Note to self: price all-weather tires. Suddenly recognizing how irresponsible it would be to move up there without them. Please gods, let us survive without 4-wheel-drive for just one more year.....

Hilarious that it takes pics of Grandfather Mountain's first blizzard to jump-start my brain. Grandfather is closer to Boone than Asheville, quite a bit further north than where I'm intending us to move. But it also reminds me that the reason we didn't camp the 2nd night when we were up there this month, is because we were concerned the temps would dip into the 30s and precipitation would ice over the Blue Ridge, effectively stranding us or causing us to make a treacherous 1st gear slide down the mountain.

So weird to look at Hurricane Sandy pics online and not be the recipient of the damage. Florida caught such a crazy break this year, only one decent tropical storm in an otherwise yawnworthy season. Can't tell me climate change doesn't exist.

We had the windows open for the 1st time last night. It's bliss, absolute heaven. I walk outside and a weight is lifted. Supposed to get back to 70s tomorrow, but I pray the humidity continues to take a break...

Image from here.

Happy. Monday.

Pretty much only posting so that I can push that terrifying picture of me down on the page...

Doing a pinch better today, but I've got that fragile feeling, like I"m made of something with a thin crust. Gotta do laundry tonight, but thinking I need to hit the elliptical up by the laundry room too...not liking the extra poundage that has snuck back.

That pic makes me want to go home and knit small things. And drink cocoa.

Yesterday was better, but exhausting. Went and dropped off recycling and did a quick shop, then came home and got cooking. Made the apple butter pumpkin pie for Les, then set some yeast for bread, then made waffles, then started dough rise...and realized an hour and a half later just how warm the back burner on the stove gets when the oven's on. I had set the bread bowl on there, because it ain't easy finding a warm moist spot in an air-conditioned apartment...and discovered the dough half cooked already from the heat of the oven when I went to punch it down. Sonofa! The only reason I'm not more discouraged, is because for the first time, I know what proper yeast proofing looks like now. That yeast looked awesome, mixed it with warm water and honey and the results WOULD HAVE BEEN a great bread.

So I'll try again later in the week, because if there's one cool thing I'm realizing, it's that I don't even like white bread anymore. Didn't get to the apple crumble, but may try that on Wednesday, as a Halloween celebration-type thing. Also going to carve a pumpkin for the first time in ages...bought one at Sky Top to use on the pie, but realized it would've been too labor-intensive to roast the darn thing. If I were feeling 100%, maybe, but not this weekend...

Highly annoyed with Hurricane Sandy for shutting down the stock exchange. Doesn't Mother Nature realize I need my options to rally, and fast?! What I would give for the liquidity to move like, now.....

Prayers for Les's grandma please, in the hospital with sepsis and hanging on by her claws...she's 92 with a very tired body and the strongest constitution I've seen south of the Mason-Dixon (north of the M-D would've been my own Nanie). It's maddening not living closer, in times like these.

Image from here.

With thanks to the Bloggess...or it really is OK to just be.

Posted this bad boy on FB the other day, after a particularly long work-and-bad-hair day...not sure what I was going for, other than satirical sexy ;)

In case you haven't heard of her, the Bloggess is a delightful woman named Jenny Lawson who wrote a memoir of her slightly odd life, who probably doesn't even realize the good she's done at demystifying mental illness. She has generalized/social anxiety disorder and a fairly bipolar/borderline personality, which is handled with meds and still occasionally knocks her flat. She handled her book tour for the memoir with the aplomb of a seasoned author, and then had to take a month off because her brain said in no uncertain terms, "STOP!" I know those days, where getting out of bed is a struggle, where you reach a point where it's impossible to fight what's going on in your head...and there doesn't have to be any tangible reason beyond "my body chemistry is having a bad day/week/month..." It's a royal bitch, and society still isn't that great about accepting it.

Those whom it afflicts have trouble accepting it too. As someone who craves tangible answers for everything, to the point that it's practically made me an atheist, the idea that I'm down "just because" was unacceptable for years and years. Getting back on lithium has been a godsend actually; Hubs noticed the difference right off, said it was like I was giving myself permission to just chill, rather than bounce off the walls on the weekends wanting to get EVERYTHING done. I agree for the most part, but sometimes, it's still hard to reconcile that it's OK to let that happen. Particularly when you're trying to move in 2 months with only 1/2 a career option ready and stock options that refuse to stay steady...

Spent yesterday playing game after game of Mah Jong on the Kindle and beating myself up emotionally for not doing something else. There's plenty of reasons why my brain's taking a sabbatical, the not-at-all irrational fears associated with moving; being back in Florida where a cold snap means it only gets up to 65, but it doesn't feel that cool because the damn humidity is still 90%; i'm off my exercise regimen, which creates self-loathing, since i know damn well I'll only feel better if I go expend a few calories SOMEHOW...and for a topper, we're basically sitting vigil waiting for word about Les's 92-year-old grandma, who's in the ICU with sepsis, praying both for her recovery or alternately that the gods decide she's had enough pain. That one hurts, and brings with it the concerns about using paid time off for bereavement when I've been stockpiling it for move stuff. Selfish as hell, I know, but these thoughts come up and threaten to overwhelm...

So when I woke up this morning and realized the fog hadn't lifted yet, I told myself it's OK. Gave myself permission to feel rotten if that's what I need to feel, and treat myself with kid gloves today. No being pissed about what doesn't get done; instead just focus on what I can get done...a very-little grocery shopping, dropping off the recycling, and processing some of the apples from last weekend for an apple crumble. Nothing earth-shattering, but if I can be kind to myself, maybe this week will be better.

Friday Favorites

Using this one again, because I think it's punctuating why I haven't been back to the Y yet...walking up that hill at Sky Top was the best exercise I've gotten in ages. My legs felt alive, and my lungs didn't threaten to leap out of my chest as we walked. Getting back to indoor exercise is breaking my heart a little. I've talked before about quitting that membership as we get closer to the move; maybe it's time to just get walking outdoors once more. We'll see...

My gods, but Friday feels good! This week was a royal bitch on wheels, just couldn't get back to me. Dunno if it's because money's so tight or just being back in Florida, but man, we've both been down a bit this week. Payday's paying the rent and not much else, but we're entering that terrifying transitional period, so my brain's waking up to all that needs to be done and this weekend will be all about organizing and making lists (with a healthy dose of cooking thrown in, as we make do with very little). The motivation's there...they're raising our rent just enough to make it not worth it to stay.

Even though I usually don't find this stuff til Friday morning, I'm enjoying the search...so much neat stuff out there!

• Yet another blog for health foodies...the pumpkin risotto looks interesting; I'm already thinking of substituting butternut squash.
   
• Homesprout—lotta loveliness there.
   
• Gonna have to try this Apple Crumble recipe...all the apple crisp recipes I come across use oatmeal in the topping and I'm just not feeling it lately.
   
• My itch to get my MFA flared up badly this week and I'm raveling a mental thread about educating myself again, since getting back to school is so far off...why do these urges always happen when I've got most of my books packed?! Anyhoo, this site is going to help me get a handle on what I want to study, as my dissertation idea starts to take shape...
   
• Spotify—yea, I'm late to the game on this one, but wow, it's going to save my sanity the rest of this year...can't be spending any dough on stuff like music, and this will fill that gap quite nicely, from what I can tell.
• Heritage Radio, where have you been all my life? My jaw dropped as I perused their shows, and I haven't even listened to them yet.
   
• And since I don't want to knit anything for anyone this holiday season, it's only natural that I find a pattern like this beauty, which I'm betting knits up fast and would be perfect for just about every female on both sides of the family....hmm....

Have a great weekend, y'all! And don't bother with hairstyling if you live on the East Coast; looks like Sandy gonna be more wind than rain.

Full of Promise Thursday

Yes, I'm already back to stealing images from Tumblr...I want that couch in a chocolate brown and I really don't care that it probably comes from Ikea...actually, I have nothing against Ikea, just have heard horror stories about their building instructions and particleboard furniture....

Having one holy hell of a time getting back on track this week. My head's out of the mountains, but I'm not sure where it landed. There are deadlines pressing down on us, a tenuous stock market toying with our nest egg, and dirty dishes still in the sink. How are we gonna live without a dishwasher in a house? Gotta lotta discipline coming...

Haven't been to the Y yet, and I need to do something...my jeans are a bit snug.

People who don't answer emails make me nutty. Gonna have to schedule a day off in the near future just for phone calls.

Thinking it's silly to strip and repaint the cabinets when they'll just get banged up in the move, but I do want to take the stuff out of them one by one and give them a good going-over. Dad always said he only slapped those together, and they're easily 35 or 40 years old...but except for cat scratches, they're in really good shape. If I can reinforce them for the move, it'll be easier to refinish them once we're there.

I smelled leaf rot when we were up in the mountains...it was exquisite!

Next week, we'll be officially homeless...meaning we need to tell the complex that we're not renewing the lease, but we don't have housing nailed down yet up there. The risk that entails could easily be crippling, but I'm determined not to freak too badly, just get nose to grindstone and push through it.

Was going to dress up as Merida from Brave for Halloween, but my company doesn't allow any replicas of weapons of any kind, so I can't make a fake bow and quiver of arrows to go with the costume, so without it I'm just a large chick in a green ritual gown with seriously unruly hair, and I'm not sure how worth it, it is...

I'm getting the itch to create...not sure if it involves knitting or holiday presents or what (I shove Christmas/Yule outta my mind FAST when it tries to blow through), but I think we can make it through the holidays if I get my hands a little busy now...

Baking apples and pumpkin and wheat bread and maybe tortillas this weekend, and I need to print more of Heather's Whole Food Kitchen out and start putting it into practice, because we've been living on pizza and carbs for 2 weeks now.....oh, THAT's why my jeans are snug!

This is the crap that flies through my head when I'm supposed to be editing sites.

Images from here and here. 

So many so much so.....

You may be able to sense a theme in my graphics for the next week or so.....

Gotta love when the stock market dips at the same time that the bank account's dry...FWP, I know, but still...meals are gonna be really creative the next week or three.

Not sure it's possible to be less engaged in work today...there's so much going on in my head. The calendar is not my friend right now, my jeans are still a little snug from the trip, and my gods, the work that needs to occur in the next 10 weeks!!!

OK...that was today's freakout...now more about the trip...

We spent Wednesday night in Columbia with Hubs' sister; she has an adorable carriage house rental downtown. Girlfriend knows how to shop vintage too...her place was outfitted so nifty!

Headed straight to the campground the next morning, a pleasant enough 3-hour drive...until we hit the mountain. The weather report was saying AM showers, and we were climbing 5,000 feet on the Blue Ridge Parkway. Around 4,000 feet, we were literally driving in. a. cloud. I haven't seen fog like that since Above All (Warren, CT); we literally couldn't see 5 feet in front of the car. We inched our way to the top, got directions at the Pisgah Inn to the campground, and inched our way to the campsite. Seriously scary driving. Once there, we assessed the sitch, put up the tent, and headed back down the mountain to get provisions. That was better, because in the valleys the sky was clearing, and the Ingles had Starbucks. Hot dogs, firewood, and a latte later I ,at least, was in a better mood, but damn...that fog! You literally could've walked into people at the inn parking lot.

Thursday night was...interesting. We were wiped out from a hard sleep the night before and the stress of the fog, so we just built a fire, had hot dogs and chips, and hit the sack relatively early. It dipped into the 40s, and we were buried in sleeping bags, fully clothed, with blankets galore on top. Ducking out around 5AM to pee was comical....I know I joked we'd be freezing our tails off, but damn!

I adore the cold, but have never slept outside in that level of chill. When we heard the weather report threatening 30s the next night, it was easy to make the decision to pack it in. Our car is perfectly fine for Florida, but with no all-weather tires or 4-wheel drive, there was no way we were taking a chance of the Parkway being icy. I found a library branch really close to us (for WiFi or computer), and we popped down the mountain to see if there were any rooms available for a reasonable rate in the area. There almost weren't, as it was peak. I checked the cut-rate branch hotels first, like Super 8 and Days Inn, and almost laughed out loud when Super 8 wanted $235 a night. I've stayed in Super 8s where they should've paid us!

Managed to find a motel in Brevard, about 45 minutes outside of town. We went to Tupelo Honey for brunch (the rumors are true, it's delish!), and then headed uptown to get more literature from the local Chamber, see if my freelance contact was available, and visit a property management company to get our feet wet in that area. The first and third items were successful; alas, the second was not. We also jaunted around town a bit, grabbing cash in case we needed to park at meters, and then breaking said cash at a tiny pharmacy. I'm glad we did this, even if we never did need to park, because it got us more familiar with town and made Asheville upper and lower less intimidating. We've lived in Jax for 15 years, so anywhere new is gonna be daunting at first.

Those errands accomplished, I kept the phone on high in case my freelance contact called to meet; and we drove back to the campground to break camp and head to Brevard. It was still daylight as we traveled through farmland to the motel, a pretty drive, though we kicked ourselves later when we realized we could've taken Blue Ridge almost all the way there. We bounced around that town a bit, because Les had really bad luck with his e-cig batteries dying the whole trip; and we grabbed Pizza Hut for dinner, which we brought back to the room and hoovered while watching the tube and feeling quite grateful for the roof over our heads, even though the motel definitely had its flaws.

I realized since we were in Brevard, that Sky Top Orchard would be on the way to Charlotte, so that became the plan for the next day. We got up at a decent hour, ate the rest of the pizza for breakfast, I bought a local map, and we back-roaded it to Flat Rock, only about a half hour away. The orchard was hopping, and fairly picked over, but it was still a delightful excursion. We picked a peck of apples, grabbed a pie pumpkin and some peach jam, and snatched up the required, SINFUL apple cider doughnuts. The weather was clear and gorgeous, and the exercise did us both a world of good!

Dinner with Mom and Lil Sis at Mac's that evening, where we gorged on BBQ and then went back to Meara's to chill. We headed out around noon on Sunday, in a hilariously packed car, both ready to get home. It's odd, getting that depressed feeling about being back in Florida and yet relishing being back "home". I'm so ready for "home" to be further north.

It took til yesterday evening to unpack, we did it in spurts between naps and re-acclimating. I'm at loose ends today, would rather be writing letters again to the 2 viable employment agencies in Asheville in my wheelhouse, giving them a timeline for employing me, filling out their apps...but gotta earn some money first. I get paid this week, but rent's due and the stock is doing its dip before the 3Q announcement next week. Planning a move requires a great deal of organizational ability and patience. Both are lacking a little too much here for my liking. Time to do something about that.

Re-entry

What we learned...

• Our sleeping bags aren't suited for cold weather.
• The Blue Ridge Parkway is a really beautiful drive, and we only hit like, 25 miles of it.
• Inclement weather at 5,000+ feet means driving through a frickin' cloud.
• Maps are blamed when the navigator sends you on a scenic route (this was especially helpful to me since I was the navigator...winkwink).

Not enough work accomplished this trip, but my soul is recharged. More tomorrow...

And yes, that's me feeding the sheep and my sweet guy resting on the hill of an apple orchard. The Y has nothing on the hills at Sky Top! My body's still bitching...it feels fantastic!

Out of town, please leave a message...

Thought I had to work today...completely forgot I had today off. Good stuff. Went home at 10 a.m.

Both pics from Grandfather Mountain's FB page. I like how autumn is turning itself out this year, not showy, more like a sleepy artist dabbing a little red here, a little yellow there...

Gotta go pack and plan. Wish us luck! Back on here Tuesday.

Outdoors Anticipation

I'm so excited, it's a little ridiculous. Hubs keeps looking at me with one eyebrow cocked and a look on his face like, "you do realize that camping involves like, work, right?" But I'm undaunted. We've done this before, in good weather and bad. Yea, only a coupla times, but still...I'm determined to make this an educational and fun trip at the same time. Just wish we had time to hike while we are there, but I'm thinking I'll be lucky to even get into town on Thursday.

I'll drag us out early on Thursday (we're staying with his sis in Columbia, and she has to get to work probably anyway), and it's only 3 hours to Asheville. Hubs wants to go straight to the site and set up camp, which makes sense; and we'll need to hit an Ingles to buy provisions. I'm hoping to knock out the employment agencies maybe that afternoon, but we'll see...best laid plans don't hold a candle to real life on these trips. Friday, I want to hit the property management companies and get the straight poop...and hopefully even look at a couple of houses. Thank goodness for the Internet...I've already got a couple of properties in mind.

There's so many "what if's" still to iron out to make this work. That's what this trip will hopefully do. I'm still scared, in the back of my mind, that the property management companies (or landlords) won't want to work with us, because our credit is so abysmal, but we're hoping that offering extra up-front dough or cosigners will do the trick. Really pisses me off that that one number makes me look bad when I've got 18 years of established work ethic and a spotless rental history in my back pocket. Capitalism has its drawbacks.

50% chance of showers on Thursday up there...I'd appreciate any good wishes where the weather is concerned for us on this trip. We're rainproofing the tent, but it's ancient.

Image from here.

Monday Musings

My head's in the trees this week and no help for it. In my continued quest to stretch Les and I beyond our abilities, we're heading up to the Carolinas this week to camp, scout, and hopefully freeze our tails off. I get the feeling that the fall color won't be as great as I'd hoped (the winds are blowing leaves off before they have a good chance to turn), but I'm really more concerned with it being other than 80 degrees while we're there. I've yet to feel a bite in the air this autumn, and my soul aches for it.

Hence the camping, and of course, because it's leaf peeping season up there; so normal people are shelling out $150 a night minimum for a roof over their heads while they're vacationing and hitting the parkway. We are poor little church mice with a tent that hopefully still works, so we're shelling out a mere $19 a night for 2 nights in Mount Pisgah, and bookending the trip with sleepovers at both our sisters' places. I'm planning for us to visit several temp employment agencies while we're there, several property management companies, and hopefully the company I'm wooing for freelance opportunities. It's a lot to cram into 2 days, but we're getting down to the wire here. Everything's going to fall into place really fast, I have a feeling...

The weekend was a little sucky; I learned I can't eat Zaxby's anymore, not just because everything they serve there really is a heart attack on a plate, but also because the sodium levels in the food wreak havoc with my arthritis. My knees are still bothering me after 2 days of ache, and I haven't overexerted myself, so it's easy to label the soreness on what I'm putting into my body without thinking. Trying not to self-flaggellate...been reading a bit of Brené Brown, and the urge to start buying her books is palpable. Patience...$15 on a book is half an application fee for a house rental...just gotta keep reminding myself...

Image from here.

Friday Favorites

I'd like to think there will come a time when this blog will feature photographs I've taken myself.

It's not happening this week.

I did get to the Y twice this week and did yoga in between, and work has been busy; so I get home at night and decompress by goofing off on the Kindle and then berating myself for not using my time wiser. I've been rereading the Mitford books and was reminded somewhere in Book 3 that when you have a large project (like, oh, say, moving to another state), it's important to break it down into small projects rather than to always look on it as this massive thing to accomplish, because that can just get you overwhelmed and lead to your brain short-circuiting...well, mine anyway. There's even a noise that accompanies my brain short-circuiting...it sounds like that point in Scrubs when Dr. Kelso punctures both eardrums with a faulty stethoscope.

Probably better to nod and smile at that one, than to question how my brain works...

This knowledge proved important after-the-fact this week, because I approached my boss finally about working remotely, got the skinny on what it might entail, and concluded that while it will put food on the table, it absolutely can't be my only source of income. That brought me back to reality a bit, but I got up, dusted myself off, and made a list that very night of the temp agencies I want to hit next week when we're up there. Because this move is still happening, if I have to have 3 cosigners on a frickin' rental house!

I'd like to say that today's links were things I happened upon throughout the week, but in fact, I discovered most of them just this morning...oh well! If you're sensing a bit of a theme, blame Heather...I've only scratched the surface on her course, in part cuz my printer ran outta ink this week, but it definitely has me being more conscious about what goes into my body....when I'm not a raging hormone hostage like I was this week, that is.

• I want to appreciate Indian spices more...this recipe might be a step in the right direction.

• Can't afford the magazine subscription, but love the concept!

• Terrific looking healthy recipe resource! And oh my, yes, here too!

• More recipes from an IIN graduate

• And just about everything listed at Ashley's site, plus the opportunity to moon over her little man in flannel...I have a serious crush on the Huxmeister :)

We're camping at Mount Pisgah next week, so this weekend is all about frugal prep for a little outdoor living. I'm so looking forward to cooler temps and finding our way comfortably with less resources this trip.

Have a great weekend, y'all!

Image from here.

Pokey week

This blog is quickly becoming my NC Moving blog. Can't be helped, it's just where my head is lately. Pause for a prayer, crossed fingers, etc.

Made rather amazing progress in the dining room on Saturday. There are almost 2 dozen boxes ready to be catalogued and taped up, and I broke down an entire bookcase. This coming weekend will be all about planning. We're heading up there middle of next week, and I want to hit some property management companies and the company where I hope to freelance, introduce myself around, get a vibe about the place (because I'm hoping to wow them and pave the way for my eventual hire after the new year), at the very least. And of course, leaf peep and take mad amounts of pictures! It's getting gorgeous up there!

Every 3 weeks, I work a project at work that tests my patience and heightens my focus. This is one of those weeks, so I'm at loose ends when I get home and have trouble winding down. Did yoga last night and man, did it feel good! I think I'm finally to the point where I can do yoga on my "off" days from the Y, and it'll tone me without the heavy strain that weightlifting can produce (when you're unable to pace yourself, as I have proven time and again to be the case). I figured out that my tummy troubles last week were plain old muscle strain from not pacing myself properly on the elliptical (and man, did that suck!), so I've switched to bike and treadmill for now. So far so good.

That pic's motivating me...gonna pick up some yarn tonight during TV, try and take a break from the Kindle. Knitting's always a good wind-down.

Image from here.

Friday Favorites

Another full-of-promise weekend ahead of me, replete with dreams of baking, unpacking, packing, and planning. We're pulling out boxes, going through them...packing fresh boxes...purging, I pray...and there are recipes I'm looking forward to trying.

I'm researching car insurance, home insurance, rent-to-own furniture and washer/dryers, and other things for the move. The trip in mid-October will include looking at houses. I still haven't approached my boss about remote work. My freelance gig hasn't forgotten me, though I pray she sends me something to work on soon.

Some items that caught my eye this week...

• Second and Edgemont—just beautiful.

• Putting Grouchy in my pocket—a really decent idea, whether you have kids yet or not.

• These beeswax candles will be getting purchased for around the home once we're settled up there. (Actually, go to Cold Antler Farm and click on her link for this company, so they'll know their advertising is working.)

• I'd forgotten they put out this new tangent from Mother Earth News...it's a beauty!

• I'm hoping to make wheat bread, these muffins, these scones, and a variant on this apple dumpling recipe (instead of buying Grands, I want to use up the Bisquick in our cupboard). Will also be tucking into the new recipes from that Whole Food course, and grabbing stolen moments to read her material...it's awesome!

Have a great weekend, y'all! Stay cool! And then tell me what it's like, cuz Florida is still suck-ass muggy.

Image from here. 

So after all that...

...I'm pretty sure I'm sticking with Blogger for now.

Damn though, I understand now why people put Wordpress experience as a criteria for jobs. I can't decide if that site/platform is disorganized or too complex to be true DIY, but I do know it requires study. It's not something to attempt to accomplish, oh, say, while simultaneously editing sites for small businesses (wink, wink).

Also, while they (WP) do have more variety, it brought home to me how tired I am of "templated" web designs. I eat, sleep, and breathe them 8 hours a day, and in my free time, I'd like something more creative and dynamic. Since I haven't yet acquired the skills to create custom designs, we'll make do here.

Other thoughts on this week:

• I've lost 12 pounds so far!!! Ridiculous how good that feels :)

• No thanks to images like that one...I can feel my urge to cook and bake coming back with autumn. Made a decent chicken pot pie last night, and was centered by the study and care it took (trying a new broth/cream base, searching for organics in Winn-Dixie when they're seriously lacking...). Should be interesting in the coming weeks, juggling health with NOMs...

• Romney's an asshat who would cripple our country in many ways if he won.

• That said...I remember when my views were shifting from right to left, and I voted for Gore over W because I felt that he was the lesser of two evils. Now, in 2012, it dawned on me that my views have gone so far left, that I'm voting Obama because he's the lesser of two evils....and because our two-party system can't yet handle (probably in my lifetime) the Green/Freedom Socialist philosophies I'd like to see governing the US.

Stop back by tomorrow for the Friday Favorites!

Image from here.

Hi there!

Gonna be a thin week or two here, because I'm thinking of changing the blog, and that means educating myself about a new platform...when I'm not educating myself thanks to Heather (registration still open, folks! worth every penny, and I'm saying that only dipping my toe into Module One!), or unpacking and repacking a box, or rediscovering knitting (finally! hello, startitis, where have you been?), or working occasionally between laundry and housekeeping and the Y, if I can get my intestinal tracts back on track, cuz I had another inflammation sitch this week...let's just say Whole Food Kitchen couldn't have come at a better time!

I oughta save that image for the Friday favorites, but the idea is too awesome to wait...deep-dish pie in a springform pan. Can't wait to try out new recipes this weekend.

Image and glorious recipe here. Enjoy!

Friday Favorites

In keeping with the current theme of changing up the ole blog, I'm trying out the completely unoriginal idea of Friday Favorites, just a smattering of things that have caught my interest on the Web lately...

• From Plan to Eat: a good reminder that not everything that's in the refrigerator has to be in there...just wish that when I buy produce, I can trust that it hasn't been off the vine 3 weeks already. I'm planting something this weekend. Anything.

• Wonderful chunks of info from the Mother Earth News Fair in Seven Springs last weekend:
   —Home Dairy
   —A little bit of everything

• Habit, because it's such a relaxing and voyeuristic escape.

• Salted Caramel Apple Pie. Nuf said.

• Before there was Wendell Berry, there was Viktor Schauberger.

• The author of Girl Hunter...reminds me of how I used to think the Joy of Cooking was weird, because it had chapters dedicated to dressing game...

This is a planning weekend. I'm making lists, digging into boxes, and looking ahead to the trips we'll take north over the next 2 months. Also stocking up on printer ink and paper, because I know I'll want to create a binder for Heather's Whole Food Kitchen. I know I should just buy a thumb drive, but I'm old-fashioned.

Might be blog shopping...I'm terribly bored with the limitations of Google's Blogger. There's only a handful of decent blog platforms out there that are available for the low, low price of FREE, but if I do change addys, I promise to give enough direction to you, my lovely 6½ readers.

Have a great weekend, y'all!

Image from here.

So I made a coupla changes...

First off, I hacked apart yesterday's post and stuck most of it in my personal, not-for-public-consumption blog. Why bore you guys with that stuff? My posts are too damn long sometimes.

I've treated this blog like a diary for years. It's finally starting to bore me. Blogs are supposed to be informative, a person's way of giving something to strangers...that something could be a warm fuzzy through imagery or words, but it shouldn't be a place for therapy necessarily. I'm over it.

Ironically, I'm over it because of that last post. The "ah-ha" moments I gleaned from my talking about Dad's situation have me thinking hard about how I want to live my life. Yup, you guessed it...epiphany time again.

One of the little voices in my head has this number on auto-repeat: "are you living life, or are you letting life live you?"

It's been the latter for the last 10 years. More than that, really, but let's say 10 years. I'm depressed enough.

I read an article in Taproot this morning about a 23-year-old who's working on an organic farm in Ontario. She's learning the ropes and hopes to have her own farm someday. As co-manager of this farm's CSA, she's in the thick of it from early morning to late night, tending animals and gardens and creating food and life. (Another really good example of this is longest acres. And of course, Jenna and Ashley.)

I don't know that I want to run a large farm. I do know that I want to grow things, and keep chickens and bees at least. I also know that living in a crappy apartment in the city, I could still have at least started composting on my porch and planting in containers, but something was always stopping me. And I'm really, REALLY over my excuses.

Schirin is 20 years younger than me. She doesn't have youth on her side; she has courage. I chuckled to myself on the drive to work this morning as I thought about this...my brain answered back, "well, you're just gonna have to live to be 120 now..." It's not about how realistic or unrealistic your goals are; it's about turning them from dreams into reality.

I can't fault my blinders the last 10+ years where unanswered dreams are concerned, because I have brought home the bacon and established myself as a career editor. That's important for our family, keeps the wolves at bay. But it is SO time to get my hands in the dirt!

More later...

Taking Stock

Wednesday already. And almost October.

October's my favorite month and I intend to make the most of it. We're nearing deadline time, the point where decisions need to be made, and I have a feeling we're going to be making a rather large leap of faith to get our asses up to Asheville. We have the move money (or will, provided NASDAQ doesn't crash), I pray we can convince some landlord that we're worth the housing risk, but the job sitch...holding pattern. While I learn patience, I'm also looking into temp-to-perm work agencies. I feel confident I can find a crap job to get us started, and I should be able to work remotely in some fashion for the .com to supplement our income, but my goodness, it's gonna take some faith. Like, close your eyes and step off this cliff here...

I think I'm getting excited for what that means. There's several tangents to that thought. I'll grant you, it's infinitely easier to take a leap of faith when you don't have children. While I still ache for that, it's a blessing right now to only have me, Hubs, and Fig to worry over. We've scraped by plenty before and survived.

It's been another off week. The silly nerve pain is going away s...l...o...w...l...y...and the accompanying fatigue has me ornery, because I want to be doing more.

Image from here.

Inward

Autumnal equinox. AKA Mabon. Never been a fan of that name for it, for some reason...it's too short or something. MAY-BON or MAY-BIN, depending on how Irish you choose to be about it. But it stands for so much more...Autumn has turned into quite something to look forward to. Yea, yea...wood smoke and falling leaves and pumpkin everything...I used to think I enjoyed the idea of it so much because I haven't had much of it here in Florida the past 25 years or so, but you only have to troll on Tumblr or Pinterest for 5 minutes to know I'm not alone in my sentiment. I'm definitely not the only one bat-shit cray-cray over Autumn.

Sidebar: Dear Starbucks, Pumpkin Spice VIA? Really? Was that necessary? I'm trying hard to not litter the planet with packaging and you come out with that delicious nonsense? You're all evil sonsabitches.
 

This week has been hard. I didn't realize how hard until my body started telling me so. Wednesday night, I had real trouble getting to sleep because the inflammation around my mid-section increased significantly. This was caused by 3 straight days of eating mainly fast food without care about what it was costing me. I wasn't overly thirsty, but my sodium must have been through the roof. I don't learn lessons easily, so the level of discomfort it caused throughout my upper torso would have been scary, except this has happened before...when I was a chronic overeater.

Thursday, I felt out of sorts, like my chi needed a recharge, and as the day progressed, I realized I was enjoying nerve pain again. I had shingles earlier this year, and while it was a remarkably mild case, the fact is that I've managed to procure some postherpetic neuralgia, they call it. This happened once before, only lasted for 1 day. This time, it's lasting longer and has me wondering about how the inflammation could have triggered it. Which has me reaching for my OA books, Crazy Sexy Diet, and very proud of myself for enrolling in Heather's Whole Food Kitchen course, even though I did so with "move" money.

I want to get back to the Y, but I feel drawn to turtle today, let myself be quiet. That's hard to do, there's so much to accomplish in the next 3 months...but I was reminded of Amanda's posts this summer (and the latest issue of Taproot, aptly titled "Retreat") about slowing down, letting life chill a bit. The autumnal equinox is all about slowing down, as the wheel turns toward a time of dormancy and rest. Sure, I need to workout, it's been a couple of days...but I also need to work in the kitchen, make waffles, do laundry, be domestic, and hilariously, the latter is a lot easier to reconcile yourself to when you have an imaginary knife sticking in your right shoulder blade. It's centering, quiet, and exactly what I need right now.

Happy Mabon, y'all!

Images from my Tumblr.