Just another manic Thursday...

Let's see...

Jordan's getting his appetite back.
I'm getting my energy back.
Linus (www.snoopy.com) is just here because he reminds me of Les.

I finished the umbilical cord hat (adorable!), and I think I like I-cord; it's kinda nifty! Knitted one of those little mittens, and am planning to start another pair of booties, because I know I'll be lucky if that dress is done by the time Kylie makes her appearance, and I want to have a bunch of stuff done for the shower at the end of next month. Gonna try for 2 pairs of booties, 2 pairs of mittens, 2 hats, and the blanket for the shower. At present, that goal's still doable; those mittens take like, no time; just hard working with size 3s. I got a new needle holder at JoAnn's that fits almost all my supplies, which is sweet, because I was keeping stuff in 2 or 3 places before, which is precarious when you live in an overflowing apartment. Lay something down and if the apartment doesn't eat it, one of the cats will.

Knitting bitches tonight!!! I haven't been in, like a month; car trouble, gas prices, and health stuff have kept me away :( Looking forward to it!

Why?

(graphic courtesy of http://www.oaklandzoo.org/atoz/azemu.html)

So I've been building and editing websites for more than 6 years now, so I've gotten pretty used to the level of crap that America's willing to sell online. There's lots of normal sites out there, but there's also the folks who sell Herbalife, breed rabbits, and detail cars all in one shop. Never mind that our designers rarely look beyond their noses if something doesn't sound right; one of my coworkers got a site yesterday for a company that catered to senior citizens and the baby bomber generation. ::sigh::

I thought I'd heard it all, but I just got a site that sells health care products made from emu oil, and all I can say is WTF. I mean, my god, what's the story on this? Who was the first person to farm emus and think, "damn, they were sweaty today, but hey, my skin's never looked better!" How exactly do you squeeze an emu? They're smaller than ostriches, but still, it's not like squeezing a parakeet, I figure. Yes, I know I need help; I just had an Ally McBeal moment in my head, of trying to extract parakeet oil: "ah, shit! Crushed another one. Hey Jack, can you hand me that strainer?" I must be feeling better finally.

One of our cats is sick, so please send positive energy our way. Jordan and Figaro both had fleas recently, and when we noticed Jordan had lost weight, we thought that was the cause and took him to the vet. Now we're thinking the weight loss is more serious. We took care of the fleas and updated his shots, but he's still not eating and he's down to 9 lbs. For him, that's low. Apparently feline anorexia is rather common; cats stop eating for one reason or another and need to be trained to eat all over again. He stares at his food, thinks about it, and walks away. I'm really scared; Jordan's my first pet ever (we didn't have pets growing up), so he's very precious to me.

Damn ache came back. Not the candida aches, the baby ache. My friend Steve has his son here (at work) today. Lukas is 18+ months old, sandy brown hair, brown eyes, shy face. Those eyes just shot an arrow through my heart. I joked that thanks to him, I'd be hearing this ticking in my head the rest of the day, but was surprised to find that after they left my cube, I had to take a second because the beauty of that little boy was still hanging around my heart and bringing tears to my eyes. I guess maybe it's more acute because a) I'm hormonal, and b) one of my pseudo-kids is sick, possibly starving. Jordan's appointment is at 4 today. It can't come fast enough.

Goddess...a little help here...

Patience.
Patience.
Patience.
And did I mention, patience?
Remember, you don't want to start trying to get pregnant until after the walk in October.
And Les being employed would help too.
And you need a new computer first, so that you can work from home.
And...

I don't want to whine. I really don't. But I'm aching a little right now. Just found out one of my cousins is pregnant again. Now granted, I have so many cousins on my mom's side, it's a wonder that that's not a permanent sitch; all the ones around my age have performed the requisite spawning of the herd in the last couple of years. I guess I relate to this cuz a little better; she and the hubby spent some time together before trying, and she's a bit of a granola. For some reason, this is hitting me harder than my sis-in-law Kara's impending mommyhood, probably because I don't envy her sitch one iota. She's not married, there's zero plans toward that (that we know of), and her partner is financially irresponsible and an alcoholic in training. She's got her work cut out for her. But it's all moot, because the responsible part of me doesn't want to get pregnant (as I've said, multiple times) until a) Les is employed, b) I'm in a little better shape, and c) we have a new computer at home so I can work from there. These are all things that can and will happen between now and the end of the year, in all likelihood, so I just need to relax and deal.

Tell that to my biological clock.

Where the hell'd April go?

I'm not complaining, mind you. I tend to have off months; for me, February, April, and July just don't fit as well as the rest for some reason. I'm used to it. Still, as we trudge on toward summer, Avon walk, and other things I'm not yet prepared for, it's enough to make a girl go ACK!

Well, there's a nice thing about April, I guess. The Annual Butterfly Festival is this coming weekend at Tree Hill Nature Center here in Jax. (graphic courtesy of http://www.treehill.org/) Lived in this area 10+ years now, and never been to Tree Hill; probably can't drag Les out for it, but maybe some of the knitting gang will be game. I think Green Lynn and Izzy handed out info for Riverkeepers there last year.

Granted, I couldn't quite help the last two weeks of inactivity. My health sitch gave me all the energy of a wrung-out dishrag. I mean, you know something's wrong when you're too tired to knit! I seem to be on an upswing, but I'm still getting tired easily, which sucks, because when you're lazy to begin with, it's harder to distinguish feeling better from feeling normal. Not sure that makes sense, but that's how it feels. We went to the flicks on Saturday (Ice Age 2, very sweet!) and then took in some shopping, and by the time we got home, I was all in, as the Southerners say. Ticks me off when the most basic shit tuckers me out. I don't need any help feeling out of shape; my big belly does that for me.

Anyway, enough about that...making progress on the umbilical cord hat for Kylie. I'll probably plow through that until it's done. It's my first time trying I-cord, so that should be interesting. I'm giving myself til her birth on the dress, I'm 2/3rd done with the blanket, and I still want to do a pair or three of those little mittens they wear so they don't scratch their faces. And I bought point protectors for the SSS, just for grins.

Happy Monday!

I will not go quietly...

(graphic courtesy of http://www.speedysigns.com/decals/graphic_decal_14180.htm)

Removing "bad" carbs from your diet is an interesting trick. Screw that line; it completely blows. You hem and haw, and rationalize. And I've gotten pretty damn used to the "bad" carbs: I love me some bread with my pasta, some potatoes with my fries, some corn with my corn chips. I bypassed somebody's birthday cake at work the other day, then went home and hoovered a bowl of popcorn. The carb crave becomes physical. Like it was so hard to tell why I was fatigued to my very bones the next day, so bad that I actually played hookey from work. Another example is eating a bowl of Cheerios because I convinced myself that that's better for me than picking at a bowl of red beans and rice, because I'm so unused to the blandness of that type of dish that it'd take a gigantic effort to get excited about it, and then I'd probably have eaten the Cheerios anyway. Yeah, I know, discover spices. Not the same.

The thing I have to reconcile myself with, is that I have to get used to bland for a while. Not forever, but the fact is that yeast feeds on sugar, period. From junk food to simple carbs to OJ and even Splenda™, I have to limit my intake if I ever want to get my system back in check. I'm going to be bored to death with the blandness, but the upshot is I'll start feeling better. That's worth the effort; just gotta keep reminding myself. And reminding myself. And reminding myself. Bought root beer earlier without even thinking, it was this automatic response.

I found several books at the library that hopefully are on the shelves and can assist in this transformation; used to own a Candida guidebook, but it seems to have gotten sucked into the fourth dimension apartment vacuum.

Today's the first day in two weeks that my limbs aren't throbbing; instead my back is in spasm. I'll take it. I was too drained to even knit yesterday...woke up to call in, slept til noon, napped from 3 to 7:30, in bed by 11. Yuck! I'm surprised I'm even feeling better, since dessert last night was 2 ice cream sandwiches. Ok, I'm through whining about this. Yeah, right.

I lied, I did do a couple of rows of the baby dress that's probably too complex for me to be attempting for the shower. So screw it, I'll save it for when the kid's born in July and let up on myself.

Gotta go refill my water. yay.

Quickie

Looks like they're having an outage at Blogger in about 20 minutes, so this one's quick...

Pilates.

Neat concept.

Sat down and really watched the 20-minute workout the other day. Incorporated just one of the moves into my yoga stretching that night and noticed something the next day. I think they call it posture.

So I played the Step-by-Step basics disc last night and followed along best I could. I've got too much body for some of the moves. They emphasize grabbing your ankles for support because your knees are the weakest joints below the waist, but that's laughable to a big girl. And while that spine massage move is a blast, I can't begin to think about rolling back up from it so I just kind of roll back and then giggle and sigh.

Today, again with that posture thing. And a desire to suck in my belly to stand taller. Also pulled a muscle in my bicep, so I'll walk tonight instead of trying some more Pilates right off. Probably cool down with yoga after the walk. But the point is, hot damn! I've found a form of exercise that makes me feel better about myself. I wasn't ready to like it; depending on what you read, it's not exactly based in anatomy and physiology. But the Basics disc clearly showed how your body should be positioned in each move, what areas it's targeting, and there's a chick modifying the moves for folks who can't handle the whole thing.

Past the halfway mark on B4 (yea!), and did some baby hat in the doc's office today. Doc reminded me of how fertility stats decrease as age increases, so I'm a little restless today (should probably ask Terra if I can come babysit, so that I can come to my senses, but I'm so jonesing for a kid right now, might do more harm than good. Should probably offer to watch Draken instead; that'd be more of a wakeup call, considering how skittish he is around me) and will probably do some thinking and planning with Les in the coming weekend as to how we want this year to play out.

Hell has frozen over...

Ain't she a beauty?

Well, she got a pass from me. I'm very pleased with myself. Now granted, it's a tad easier to pass up that warm, yummy deliciousness when the outcome could be a splitting headache, but still, we're talking Melanie never-met-a-carb-she-didn't-love Johnson here. And I do have Advil at my desk and I took my acidophilus this morning. Could've easily rationalized that sucker right into my mouth.

Test #2: I'm grabbing soup and a salad at Panera for lunch, instead of a sandwich and cookies. Though admittedly, not splurging on the cookies is probably more of a money issue than a carb issue.

I think I finally hit halfway on the B4! I'll double check tonight, maybe give it one more row, and then do the pattern switch. Yea! Walked on both breaks yesterday and did yoga last night. I'm hoping to take a short walk after work today if the weather holds. It should; we don't get the crazy thunder and lightening for another month or so usually, and I don't give a crap about plain rain. Kind of hard to, when the entire NY walk was performed in the stuff. Makes me all proud of my fortitude n' stuff. :)

New week

"Today is a new day with no mistakes in it yet."
Anne Shirley
Anne of Green Gables, L.M. Montgomery
(graphic courtesy of http://www.anne3.com)

Figured out why I was so mopey last week. Actually I take absolutely no credit for figuring it out; I was describing the symptoms to the darling husby around Fridayish and the first words out of his mouth were, "sounds like Candida." The man's a genius. I'm a dink. My body, in recent years, thanks to the horrific diet I've eluded to maintaining, has developed a penchant for the occasional bout of hypoglycemia and an influx of intestinal flora. That's a yeast infection for you folks who don't clue into my annoying tendency toward $5 words. The good news is since it's intestinal, it doesn't have the obscenely aggravating itchyness of a regular yeast infection. The bad news is it causes blinding headaches, all-over body fatigue, and depression that plows right through that medication that I so happily tote as my savior. So I've gotta lay off the processed foods, I switched back to Splenda ($ issues put me back on sugar a few weeks, which certainly didn't help) and acidophilus supplement, and I HAVE to get exercising. The headaches waned Sunday, but I slept too much that day and thus couldn't get to sleep on time that night, so I'm still a little dragged out.

The good news is I've decided not to bail on the Avon Walk (congrats to Alexa for performing perhaps the smallest guilt trip in history and having it work, LOL!). I pulled out the materials and will spend this week planning my fundraising and laying out an exercise regimen. I've decided not to give a crap about losing weight, not even gonna try; my goal rather, is to get in shape to perform this walk, period. And in a damn sight better shape than I was for the one in 2002. I do that and the weight will take care of itself. I mean, I'm not the most coordinated person and the weather was inclement, but I tripped and fell 3 times that day! And we were only walking, people! Sad. I'll be by myself this time, but I'd rather not look like a cartoon character in the process.

So I'll put the links for My Avon Page and the Avon Walk back up on this blog in the next day or two, so peruse 'em now so that when I come to you with my puppy-dog eyes, begging for donations, you'll be prepared. I trust Avon; in 2004, more than 71% of the money raised went toward breast cancer research and programs with an emphasis on helping those without insurance, underprivileged, etc. Walk's not til October. I can do this!

Another caption for the bunny pic below, in honor of those goofy Christians who celebrated Spring a month late this past weekend:
My Easter bunny can beat up your Easter bunny
or my personal favorite:
Hey, anybody seen the cat?

What the hell?

Ok, I know I just posted, but was dicking around on the Web and came across this one...(courtesy: AP)...and I gotta comment...

That fat cat from last month is one thing, but holy shit! Anybody else besides me that didn't know they grew 'em this big!

This baby's begging for a caption, something like, "Jim Bob thought the genetically engineered carrots would save him money in the long run, but . . . "

What else? Hmm..."I'm no chef, but I think the hasenpfeffer might be a little tough tonight."

There's gotta be more, but I can't think of 'em...

Yup...not right in the head...

So I'm finally able to listen to music at work again...Les and I share the discman at home, and recharging the batteries is a pain in the butt so more often than not, I just forget to bring the damn thing. But I just got a brand-new Dell XP Pro system at work, so I asked permission to use the CD-ROM for personal music. It's nice having a computer with sound and decent vid capability, lemme tellya.

Definitely in a weird place at present though, because instead of bringing up NPR or one of the local radio stations, I find myself listening to Enya, which is perfectly respectable, or.......wait for it...........Hampton the Hamster. Yes folks, way back when, Melanie invested the $6 or whatever on a single CD that contains 3 versions of the Hamster Dance. What can I say, the beat wakes me up. Still, to be 36 years old and listening to the Hamster Dance...feel free to pat me 0n the head next time you see me.

Renewed interest in SSS of late; must be due to the painful demise of our poor ruthee's SSS. That's 2 SSS disasters and no completions as yet in our little group, but I refuse to be intimidated. Of course, it helps when you give yourself a break; I've found a couple of holes in my progress--little ones--but since I'm the one that's going to be wearing it, I decided against tinking; with laceweight, it's murder anyway. Since I went with the non-mesh pattern, the holes are in st-st areas, so they won't run, I don't think...please god, let this be the case! Also plunking along on the B4...the umbilical hat's a snore, straight st-st in the round, so that's been seeing the bottom of the bag, and the same with the little dress I started, because it feels like I have too many projects going at once. Gotta finish something!

Ready for weekend...

Ramblings of a Wednesday.....

Coffee.....elixir of the gods.....

(photo courtesy of roadsideamerica.com)

Seriously, how did I make it through high school on tea? I used to wake up in the morning, fix myself a cup of hot tea in my shamrock mug, skip breakfast, and climb over the snow to get to the bus. Lunch was a small bag of Fritos, a brownie, and an iced tea. Dinner was normal. So it's not surprising that my eating habits have evolved the way they have, but still...this little train of thought came about after reading an article by Dr. Dean Ornish today, and getting back on his bandwagon. I love the look of his programs and I'm afraid I'm eating myself into an early grave, but one thing about his programs: we'd be talking major change. I've never met a carbohydrate I didn't like. But I also don't like the way my legs have been feeling this week, my absent self-image and esteem, and how easily tired I get. We humans are Borg; we can adapt to anything. Clothes don't fit? Buy the next size up. Have trouble getting up from a sitting position? Grab onto something and hoist. It isn't until you take an honest look at yourself, and say, "damn, this used to be easier," that maybe your brain and your emotions reach the point of being capable of acknowledging the need for change. Until then, it's the little things you notice, but they're not big enough for you to do anything about.

What's infuriating though, is that I've had these thoughts for years longer than I should have. I just had a flash of memory from a good 12 years back. I was home visiting, Meara was in elementary school. I was living in Tampa, I remember because I'd promised Meara we'd go to her school down the street and play at the playground, but I was only about 2 weeks healed from fracturing my coccyx so I certainly wasn't moving at full speed. We went anyway, and I tried to keep up, but I remember thinking how out of shape I was and how when I had kids, I certainly didn't want to be this out of shape--I want to be able to keep up with them, play hard, run hard, give them a good outdoor lifestyle. Now the kicker: injury notwithstanding, that was 75 pounds ago! I was in a job that kept me on my feet the majority of the day, so I was in decent shape, just a shade overweight. I wasn't nearly as bad off as I thought I was.

Perspective.

I tellya, though, knitting centers me when I need it to...came home yesterday in a grump for no particular reason, just the blahness of life coupled with a serious lack of funds. Dove into the baby blanket and did a couple rows, switched to SSS for 2 rows...didn't accomplish much between TV (House in a tux...aaaahhhh!) and other stuff, but definitely had an improved mood as the evening wore on.

I absolutely need to start walking again, weather and pain be damned. I bailed on the Avon Walk when we almost got evicted, because it was a wake-up call that I needed to take care of things better here at home before I can give of myself to good causes. But it also gave me permission to let the very idea of exercise slip to the wayside again. Again, what am I saying? It's never been high on my list of activities. What's it going to take for me to take care of me?

Sorry, gang, little whiny today...either that or having a major breakthough...kind of hoping it's the latter, 'cause I'm damn tired of me as is.

::snickers...giggles...ROFLMAO::

Just reread my last entry.....relaxation without guilt.....that's a good one!

See, I'm a type A personality trapped in a lazy person's body. Used to be quite the neat freak, quite organized, always had 10 things going at once. Now that I'm medicated, I still have 10 things going at once, but I'm much more relaxed about it. Which means it feels like less is always getting done, there's this carefree, I'm-not-getting-graded-on-this attitude that allows me to go at my own pace, with the side effect of never being happy with that pace. Perpetual butt-dragging. Frustrating as hell.

The little dude up top here is Bucky Katt, courtesy of Get Fuzzy, by Darby Conley (graphic courtesy of http://www.comics.com). Bucky's another favorite of mine; he's a sarcastic Siamese who torments his roommates: human Rob, an ad exec, and lab/shar-pei mix Satchel. Bucky's attitude makes Garfield look like a pussy.

I've often thought of writing a memoir about my experience with depression and lithium deficiency. I think it could help people. I have an entire novel written that's semi-autobiographical, that deals with my issues with artistic license. Part I is the way I want it; Part II needs some work. But watched a repeat of "House" on Friday, and it reminded me of something damn scary, that could easily have me 86ing the memoir idea for good. Main sickie that week was a bulimic who needed a heart transplant, and House ends up lying to the transplant committee in order to get her a heart, because her condition would've been enough of a reason to consider her high-risk. Like she deserves it less because she has an eating disorder. Now certainly I realize that there's other criteria that come into play, that "House" is fiction—my friends have taken to teasing me because I'll make points in conversation with "yeah, but on Law & Order last week, there was..." But the point is that gods forbid, something were to happen to me requiring a new organ, the last thing I want any transplant committee judging me on is the fact that I'm a self-abuser. Because that doesn't go away. And it ain't my fault. The medication helps, but it's like alcoholism, it's a one-day-at-a-time thing. I've grown so much in the last 10 years; I'm an entirely different person from who I was in college. Judge me on who I am now, not who I've been. Crap, I think I just made the argument for why a memoir would be such a good thing, so important toward promoting more open criteria on things like transplant boards. Someday I'll turn these ideas into a book of essays or something. In the meantime...

Finished baby booties, started an umbilical cord hat (from SnB) and a little dress from Zoe Mellor's Nursery Knits (sweet patterns! also planning another pair of booties probably and a couple pair of those fingerless mittens that small people wear in the early months to keep from scratching their faces). Poor SSS is getting neglected, but I'd rather get to the halfway point on the baby blanket right now; still plenty of time til the shower, but if April goes half as quickly as March did, then I need to use my time wisely. They're naming her Kylie Kincade...not bad. Not a clue where the Kincade is coming from, but I was half expecting something hideous like Christine, so...

Congrats to Phil Mickelson on his 2nd Masters win! We won't discuss how much of the final match I frickin' watched yesterday; sometimes I really don't know what's come over me.

Friday...it's a beautiful thing.

This is a better picture of Eduardo from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends (courtesy of wikipedia). I was a little off in my previous entry; he has the brain of a 4-year-old, not a 3-year-old. He's a big sweetie, and he LOVES potatoes!

I'm ready for Friday, lemme tellya. Had the added stress of a flat tire yesterday :P I took care of it right after work, but it meant sitting around a Tire Kingdom for an hour and a half. No fun. But this is the first time in 2 months that my company isn't screaming for OT people on the weekend, so I'm going to be able to relax without guilt this weekend. Don't have a damn thing planned, for a change...there's a class at the church tonight on feminist goddess tradition that I might attend, and certainly the house can use some work; but maybe if I don't put such pressure on myself to do X, Y, and Z, I'll actually get A and B done in the process too. Hey, it could happen!

Elected not to frog the baby blanket...did several rows last night, actually felt like, productive. Can't wait to get my Knit Magic in; I'm thinking I can make several baby hats and bibs with that thing in the time it would take me to handknit one basketweave hat...probably not the case, especially if the thing doesn't come with the instruction booklet, but we'll see.

Coffee has NOT kicked in yet...

Yarngasmic

Graphic courtesy of a fellow knitter/blogger http://knitandtonic.typepad.com My sis will definitely think I've gone round the bend on this one, but any diehard knitter who looks at that picture and doesn't think to themselves, oh yeah, that's the stuff....isn't being honest and needs to reflect.

Alas, this self-proclaimed diehard never picked up the needles last night...I'm still stinging over the fact that seed stitch finally bit me in the ass again, creating a lovely little design flaw/feature about an inch long on one side of the border of the baby blanket, that I absolutely don't have the strength to frog back past, so I'm leaving it in. Of course, usually when I say that, it only takes another day or so for the self-pride to kick in, and since this is going to someone, it's in the denial/we'll see category.

So with no knitting to talk about, I give you a survey snitched from Lil Sis's LJ:

1. DO YOU SNORE?
Apparently like a buzz saw...the cats aren't safe near my mouth when I'm in REM.
2. ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
Both, I think; hard to tell what's stronger
3. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
Losing Les
4. AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?
Not a maniac, never needed a support group or anything. Loved building anal stuff with 'em, especially houses with the big flat green one as the base. I do love that they've just come out with Eggos that look like Legos!
5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "REALITY" TV?
Evil. Contributing to the downfall of TV in general. Lacking social redeeming value.
6. DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
No. I do remember chewing on pencils when I had braces.
7. WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?
Well, I wouldn't throw me out of the crib. (oh, and Meara, for the record, even with your Above All scars, you could've won contests!)
8. IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
ROFLMAO! Um, no. The pirate's life's not for me either.
9. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
Work: Black (brand-new Dell!:), home: beige
10. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
Umm, not really. When I sing without working at it, I can't carry a tune. Hum occasionally.
11. HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
Yeah, right. Afraid of heights and that "holy shit, I'm going to die" feeling that you get on rollercoasters. Not happening anytime soon.
12. ANY SECRET TALENTS?
This ain't me being humble, I just can't think of any...
13. WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
Tent camping someplace with Les, state park, ideal weather...
14. IS JAY LENO FUNNY?
Eh. I'm more a Letterman fan, but don't watch either with frequency; put myself to sleep at night with M*A*S*H*
15. Have you eaten sushi?
Not really.
16. HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"?
Yes. It freaked me out and baffled me and I'd like to watch it again to try to understand it better, but can't imagine being in a place in my head where that'd be acceptable. F*cked up movie!
17. DO YOU GIVE A DARN ABOUT THE OZONE?
Well, yeah, but more concerned with how we're destroying things right here on earth.
18. HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP?
Well, I don't bite my lollipops, so a damn sight more than 3.
19.CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
Um, no, but I can recite all 50 states in alphabetical order :) Hey wait, I've found my secret talent!
20. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?
Yeah, it's a blast!
23. WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
I'm fairly against it across the board, unless you're actually hunting for food.
24. IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
Heh. Yup. And Past. And Present. ::sigh::
25. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
When I work at it; thanks to computers, it's pretty messy. Oh wait, it's always been that way.
26. WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
Aspartame (Nutrasweet)
27. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU"?
This morning as I was nuzzling husby goodbye to head to work
28. IS ELVIS STILL ALIVE?
Vacationing with God in Miami Beach
29. DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?
Nah. I'm too busy getting drunk.
30. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
In my ovaries. ::slaps leg, giggles:: Also omelet, scrambled, hard fried.
31. ARE BLONDES DUMB?
No worse than brunettes or redheads
32. WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK GO?
Fourth dimensional sock vacuum.
33. WHAT TIME IS IT?
10:41 a.m.
34. DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
Ember. Big Sis. MJ. LMP (Long Mountain Princess--we lived on Long Mountain Road when I was little). Rosebud (that one's from when I was little too).
35. IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?
Yes, and it puts me to sleep too, but I clog my arteries with the crap anyway.
36. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR?
This morning, driving into work.
37. DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
Showers, I guess; hard to find the patience for baths. Now if we had a tub like the gal in the graphic above...
38. IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?
Of course. Keeping those ideas alive is part of the magic of life.
39. DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?
It's definitely up there on the passion meter, though my ticklishness gets in the way sometimes.
40. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
Not really, anymore, though that fear didn't really leave until I was sharing my life with someone.
41. WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
Chocolate, coffee, knitting, reading, The West Wing, L & O SVU and regular, M*A*S*H*, Panera's hazelnut cream cheese, and the list goes on........
42. CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
Creamy JIF, crunchy for a treat
43. CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?
No...Les can though, and it still wigs me out!
44. HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
In the front :( .....Dad was in back.
45. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY?
::hides head:: I'll do it later, I swear!
46. IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
We-ell, I have no problem personally with the occasional herb, but with our money problems, it's a non-issue.
48. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
Blue-grey, depending on the light and what I'm wearing
49. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Indulged just the other day when I caught the end of Phenomenon on HBO
50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
Yes. I wouldn't mind more money, and teeth and a big dose of self-esteem for Les, but I'm patient. I look forward to kids, studying environmental science, working from home...these things/dreams make the present bearable.
51. WHO'S BETTER, FALL OUT BOY OR MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE?
::sigh:: I'm too old for this question :( Wouldn't know My Chemical Romance if the group set up and played at my work; but I heard Fall Out Boy on OTH once (One Tree Hill, for you people with lives that don't revolve around the idiot box) and they weren't bad, so yeah, them.
52. ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
Yup. Nothing honed or reliable yet; maybe in another two or three lives, it'll be sharper.
53. HAVE YOU READ CATCHER IN THE RYE?
Yeah, one of those books that I wasn't forced to read in high school, so I read it on my own.
54. DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
Still own two trumpets, I'll never pawn those. I have a small keyboard, drum, and recorder that I goof around on. I want to learn violin, six-string harp, and that wooden flute for potential Waldorf homeschool my kids in their secondary years.
55. HAVE U EVER STOLEN MONEY?
I invoke my 5th Amendment right against self-incrimination.
56. CAN YOU SNOWBOARD?
Never tried. Did ski once, but that whole fear of heights thing kept me on the bunny slope the whole day.
57. DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!!! Wish I was doing it now. Honestly, only been twice, but it's lovely, in spite of the work involved.
58. DO U SNORT WHEN U LAUGH?
Rarely.....ok, occasionally.....
59. DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
I'm a witch, what do you think?
60. ARE DOGS A MAN'S BEST FRIEND?
Yeah, though there's something to be said for when a cat wakes up enough to lower himself to pay attention to you too.
61. DO YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
Certainly. Doesn't mean I'll ever subscribe to it.
62. CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?
Half-assed
64. IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY?
Nah, pleasant, getting up to almost 80
65. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Inhaled a Cinnamon Crunch Panera bagel with hazelnut cream cheese, aaaaaahhhhhh!
66. DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH?
Toes, absolutely, even though it's a pain in the tush to do. Clear on fingers.
67. DO YOU WEAR THONGS?
Just say NO to butt floss!
68. WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL?
Anything with Keith Pierson's kids, the Olsen twin wannabes
69. DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?
Um, no. Or anywhere inside a mall at present.
70. FAVORITE BAND AT THE MOMENT?
Beats me, haven't listened to the radio in a while. Enjoy Kelly Clarkson still, as well as angry chick music, Enya's new one, Linkin Park, and whomever's on Garrison Keillor's show.

Well, that's enough blogrific torture for one day :)

Wingnut :o

graphic from www.joshlyman.com

Nuff said.

Monday...

It's un-frickin'-real what you can find on the Web.

Since I mentioned this cartoon a couple of entries ago, thought I'd put up a pic...all I had to google was "sheepdog cartoons" and ta-da! You'd think since I work in the biz, I'd be used to just how infinitesimally significant something has to be to make it on the Web in some fashion. But since I kind of loathe my contribution to what I see as a problem with the gluttony of our capitalistic society, it's understandable I'd be in a little bit of denial. Anyway, I think the pic is from wikipedia.

Weekend was pretty ok, just not long enough. I don't know if it was daylight savings or the work I did outside, but I took a 3-hour nap yesterday afternoon, went to bed practically on time last night, and I'm still a little foggy. I'm about a day off of one of my meds too, though; will remedy that later today.

Finally, FINALLY, got outside and dealt with Sylvester, the aloe plant with the pituitary problem. All I can say is, hey, anybody want some aloe? Well, actually, I won't know for a week or three if my transplanting was a success, I figure; I haven't done much with plants yet in this life, beyond the basics, so even though aloe is a hearty plant that actually does grow in its own little sections, so that I didn't feel like I was cutting apart roots to separate them, I still won't trust my success until they're still alive a couple of weeks from now. Also downsized Jade, which isn't much more than a twig at this point, thanks to some demon neighborhood squirrels. And I cleaned out the dead stuff around Fred the fern, fed and watered everybody, and started some basil and lavendar. My God, it was nice outside yesterday! My porch catches shade until late afternoon, so I just threw on my bathing suit and some shorts, and got dirty :) Used an entire 40# bag of potting soil and assessed my supplies too—next step is a new bin for soil and some implements, like a leaf trimmer.

Knit just a bit last night, but again, my heart wasn't quite in it...will work the baby blanket tonight, I think. I put the payment in last week for the Knit Magic I bid on eBay, so that should come soon; no idea what I'll make with it, just knew I wanted one...I had one when I was a kid.

Definitely sluggish today...may have to spend some of our precious dough on sugar or caffeine later...

Miracle

Just had to sneak a piccie off of ruthee's blog of our knewest knitting bitch, Keelin. Visited this little angel last night and got to hold her ... I'm pretty sure she's the smallest human critter I've ever had the pleasure of holding. They weighed her while I was there and she'd dropped to 6#12--pretty normal for a newborn. My latest small person reference points, Hunter and Meara, were both over 8 pounds at birth, so having that little package in my arms last night was amazing!

I guess I really should take Meara out of the small person reference point area of my brain; she's frickin' 22! Just got offered an adjunct professor position for next Spring at UCF, and she's only half done with her Masters! I'm too proud to be jealous, but it does have me throwing myself into my textbooks again for my environmental science studies.

I must be learning patience too, because even though I can't wait to see Keelin again, I also didn't feel that ache that I get around really small people, that ache that tells me how ready I am to have one of my own. It felt completely natural to hold her, touch her, but it didn't hurt. That's a relief.

The nurse had her up on her shoulder last night and that critter was pushing back on it with her arms, holding up her head with eyes open...2 days old! Her cry is this clear, little sound complete with quivering chin; I was just knocked out watching her.

Mine!!!

So I cook a little. Really only a little, when you consider how we live, but I'm learning. I enjoy watching Barefoot Contessa on the Food Network and Lidia on PBS. I dream of not living out of a can or box quite so much. I dream of eating healthier. I've been told I make yummy round things (souffles, casseroles, pot pie, snicker doodles, etc.). Branched out into homemade bread this past holiday season with mixed success; my wheat bread kicks some ass, however I learned the hard way not to use self-rising flour in a yeast recipe on French bread. Had to shove it in the oven, just so it would stop growing!

So my mother-in-law, who never met a sale she didn't like and will likely have "Born to Shop" engraved on her tombstone, treated herself to the next size up of Kitchenaid stand-alone mixers after Christmas. Actually a justifiable purchase when you witness the number of quiches and pecan pies she ends up making in an average winter holiday. So what to do with the beauty pictured here, her original mixer (graphic courtesy of kitchenaid.com)? She has 2 daughters. She says they both turned it down; I wonder if she even asked them, but certainly wasn't going to look a gift mixer in the mouth when she offered it to me, so when they came down earlier this month for Les's dental appointments, they brought it with. Our galley kitchen is low on counter space, so I put it on my newfound worktable for now.

Last night I made shepherd's pie (round!) for dinner and 2 loaves of wheat bread afterward (one for the new mommy). Why not try the new mixer! Used it to make the mashed potatoes for the shepherd's pie, and then again to mix the heated milk mixture with the flour for the bread. So easy! Was able to do the whole bread mixing with it, just switched from the flat ceramic head to the dough hook once I started adding the 2nd batch of flour. Where have you been all my life, pretty black Kitchenaid mixer?! Where can I make room on the kitchen counter for you? Nowhere, really :( the one place where we do have space, it would kind of be in the way, and the other counters are packed (microwave, toaster, toaster oven, tea maker, coffee maker, unfortunately all of which get used with regularity). Hmm...for now, the worktable is awkward, but perfect; allows me to leave it out for use; which is cool because it's a heavy sucker, not something you want to be lugging out when you need it.

Remarkably, managed a couple of rows on the baby blanket last night; must've been in serious domestic goddess mode, though my heart wasn't really in the knitting yet. That's frustrating, but it's been a busy week. The baby shower is May 27, so I've got goals to set with regard to the baby stuff I'm knitting for Kara. Tonight I'll fix a basket for Terra and Keelin and go for a quick visit; can't wait for my baby fix!

Welcome to the world, Kielyn (sp?) Siobhan!!

I'm a surrogate aunt again!!! I have no idea how her first name is spelled yet, but she's here and healthy! Terra gave birth sometime this morning. The first name, pronounced Key-Lynn, I gave the "ie" because the pronounciation is similar to Kieran, but it could just as easily be Keelyn(n), I suppose. It means "gentle." Siobhan is pronounced "shi-vawn.

Delightfully distracting at work today, as if excitement about our newest Knitting Bitch wasn't enough to distract me, they're building new desks right behind me, which requires an electric drill, a modicum of banging, and 2 guys talking in Spanish. I'm on an upswing of sorts though, I can tell, and lemme tellya, it feels good. Patiently worked some SSS last night, but I think I've managed my first design flaws/features in the sucker, which I'm hoping to remedy with my crochet hook, because I'm damn sure not frogging or tinking. I think I'll work baby blanket tonight though; it's my solid TV night (NCIS, House, SVU) and I don't want to screw up SSS more than it's currently screwed. Just remembered I want to bake bread for Terra too, so knitting will have to occur between rises. She's one of those frightfully organized people who baked casseroles and other dishes to be put up/frozen for easy meals in the first weeks, but I figure you can always use some homemade bread to go with.

I hate shoes that make noise, always have, you know, like sandals that slap against your heel as you walk. Not sure why; was taught to turn my nose up at clogs and flip-flops at an early age, probably because they make it easier to trip over your own feet and a) I didn't need any help in that department growing up, and b) we weren't allowed to make mistakes, have accidents, etc. But alas, I needed something to wear with my wealth of capri pants now that the weather's warming. I have one pair of slides, but they don't offer enough support for my needy lack-of-arches to wear on any regular basis. So went to evil Wally world yesterday and sure enough, found an ultra-comfy, only slightly ugly pair of slides that curve the foot better for my needs and only cost $12. Must remember to send a thank-you note to the Dominican refugee that made them. Best yet, they have that big toe loop, which keeps the foot in the slide better; and that's fantastic for someone like me, who hasn't worn shoes like this her whole life and is quite the klutz besides. I mean, I also have a pair of black slides with a pretty butterfly on them, that I wear from time to time, but on stairs, driving, and other tasks—like walking—it's kind of hard not to come off looking like a cartoon character on roller skates. Fashion, unfortunately, also means knowing one's limitations.

Monday.................blahs.............

Meet Bloo. Full name Blooregard Q. Kazoo, he's main character Mac's imaginary friend; when Mac's mom decided he was too old for an imaginary friend, Bloo went to live at Foster's where Mac visits him now. Bloo's vacuous, but complex; just when you think he's a completely irredeemable little shit, he does something to show that he does know right from wrong--he just chooses not to acknowledge it most of the time, because it gets in the way of what he wants.

I'm sleepy...I've gotta stop napping on Sundays, it goofs up my sleep sched; I hit the sack late Sunday as a result and feel shredded on Monday morning. It was a good weekend; didn't get to Sylvester yet, but did buy the supplies, got plenty of relax time...but still...weather's cool and beuautiful out, and there's about a million things I'd rather be doing than sitting at this f*cking computer!

Didn't touch my knitting this weekend; got some books out of the library a while back that I'm finally reading--Mayo Clinic's latest stuff on how to lose a big ass (body, not spouse...well, the technical titles are like, Healthy Weight for Everyone and Fitness for Everyone). It's decent, all stuff I already know, but sometimes when you read it written differently, it makes better sense somehow. Or maybe I'm just ready for a change. Thought I might be pregnant for about a week there, and when it turned out I wasn't, it was such a mixture of sad and relief. I've got to put my impatience on a shelf somewhere. Once Les has teeth and is looking for work, then it's feasible, but until then, we're not nearly ready.

I just ache to be a mommy. Ostara lifted my heart this weekend; got to see Draken and a small pile of 4-year-old girls running in circles at the church. Triplet girls....remembering them oughta keep me from getting pregnant before we're ready! Beautiful kids, but my god, how do those parents hear themselves think!

In the meantime, the weather's clear and pretty, I'm finally hearing Canada geese (their call has a sweetness that always transports me straight to Above All--where I lived in CT from 11 to 15), and I'll get my hands in the dirt this week; separating Sylvester into several vessels, downsizing Jade, and starting some basil and lavender.

Yup, it's a rut...

Meet Wilt (graphic courtesy of wikipedia). Polite to a fault, this imaginary friend is the former buddy of a basketball fan. He's a sweetie; once missed an entire mall outing because he was too busy holding the door open for people and saying "you're welcome."

Got my hands in the yarn last night, but my heart wasn't quite in it. Cast on fresh for a baby hat and made it so tight by accident, that it had to be cut off. Vicky was impressed, I think. I don't get it, I wasn't tense last night; was feeling good, had just gotten my hair cut (nothing drastic, but quite a bit healthier and more manageable). So then gave up on the hat, did a round + of SSS, and when I got home, cast onto straights and transferred to the circular for the hat. I just suck at casting onto circulars, I guess.

So tonight, I'll plunk along on a little bit of everything. Thank the gods it's Friday! Tomorrow's Ostara, but I'm not making myself nuts over it; I doubt many people are going to show for the class that early anyway, and it's not like I'll get points taken off for reading straight from Turning the Wheel. Definitely crediting ruthee and Terra with the bulk of my material--that Ostara article from 2004 was a gold mine. Then I need to buy tires for the car, and the rest of the weekend is mine! Absolutely buying potting soil this weekend and dealing with Sylvester (aka the aloe that ate the porch); he's not looking so hot.

New Foster's tonight, 7 p.m., Cartoon Network. Sweet god, I need a life!

Yarn withdrawal and other random stuff...

Meet Eduardo (pic courtesy of http://imaginary-friends.net/). He's an imaginary friend looking for a home. He's about 3 years old and a very lovable fraidy cat of a monster. To get to know him, check out Foster's Home of Imaginary Friends (one of the more warm, fuzzy, positive cartoons out there today, having nothing to do with superheroes, guns, aliens, mutants, trading card games, ninjas, or any of the other fertilizer so common in today's cartoons) on Cartoon Network. The almost-35-year-old man-child I live with watches quite a bit of Cartoon Network, and Foster's rubbed off on me...especially Bloo, whose arrogance is only matched by his sarcasm.

Haven't knit since Monday.....definitely startin' to get twitchy..... canya tell?

Monday's knitting can barely be called knitting since I ripped it all out :( Then Tuesday, I did the taxes (still getting $ back! Whew!), and started prep for the class I'm giving Saturday morning on Ostara. Spent last night finishing the outline for the class and creating some visual aids (yes, folks, there will be props!), but by the time I got that stuff done (and dinner--I actually pulled together crock pot roast midweek!), it was like 10:30 and I wasn't about to pick something up just to knit one row.

At least the class stuff is done, so I can relax Friday night and concentrate on other stuff like what to accomplish this weekend, if anything, and whether or not to bring anything to the potluck besides that box of Girl Scout cookies we don't want...

So, if your LYS has a swift and ball winder in shop and you buy say, a skein of Lorna's Laces or something, will they wind it for you for free if you don't have your own swift? Silly question, probably, since even if our wonderful Judge K (LYS owner) couldn't do it for some reason, I could always schlep over to miss ruthee's and bribe her with wheat bread or something for the use of her swift...but stuff flies through my random head and I gotta ask...

Seriously though, back on my cartoon rant, whatever happened to cartoons being about regular roles in life, a little moral, a little lesson, the Roadrunner outsmarting the Coyote rather than dismembering him? If the Coyote got dismembered, it was his own fault, and that's what the kid watching it took away from it. I mean, when Elmer Fudd used to blow Daffy's beak off, I recognized it for what it was. It certainly wasn't instilling any kind of "violence is acceptable" message, like the family-values groups seem to think it was. If you're being raised right, you're going to look at it the same way Daffy did, with a "you're despicable" and move on. There is such a thing as taking something too seriously. One of my faves from the Roadrunner days didn't even have Roadrunner in it; it was the one with Wile E. Coyote and the sheepdog taking their rightful places in the grand scheme on a daily basis with the help of a timeclock and a lunch whistle. Coyote hatches elaborate scheme to steal sheep, sheep bleats, Sam the sheepdog comes running, beats the crap out of the Coyote, the lunch whistle blows, they stop, eat under their respective trees, the whistle blows again, and Sam goes back to beating the crap out of Wile E.
Call me tweaked, but that cartoon's hysterical.

Anyway, that's why I like Foster's, its simplicity. There's antagonists in Mr. Harriman, the head of the house in his mind, and Terrance, Mac's pesky big brother, but most of the show is small lessons and humor that almost any age can appreciate. And it doesn't try too hard; you know, how the Muppet movies made more recently seem to try too hard for the adult laugh...since the imaginary friends never grow older than their most recent human, there's this terrific intelligence and innocence in each one of them. Yes, folks, 36 years old and writing a frickin' essay expounding on a frickin' cartoon...sigh...

No news is good news

Feels like my knitting's hitting a dry spell...but I'm plunking along on several things so that really isn't the case. The dry spell thing is only because I spent time last night starting a baby hat only to rip out everything I'd worked because I'd calculated incorrectly. So nothing got accomplished except laundry last night. Well, that's definitely a good thing; been having a helluva time feeling comfortable in the tops I currently own, so the good ones go quickly.

I did do one bootie this weekend, quite nicely too, since I figured out I didn't do slip 1 purlwise correctly on the last batch I did. Haven't stitched it up yet; really should put some time into the SSS and the B4...I tend to do a row here, a row there on the B4, and well, that just ain't gonna fly if I expect to get the sucker done by May or July (baby shower sometime in May).

Supposed to get hot today (mid-80s) but there's this fantastic breeze. No baby yet in our KB group; eviction notice for said infant is the 28th.

My clan got news that a family friend passed away, so please put the widow and kids in your thoughts today. Marty Darby passed away from lymphoma on Valentine's Day. His wife Dini and my mom met in a Caldor (Yankee department store) about oh, 35 ish years ago, when they noticed the kids in their baskets were roughly the same age (me and her son Ted). We kids haven't kept in touch, but the memories are fond of hanging out together and playing when the grownups got together. Dini and the boys live in Aiken, SC, so I'm looking forward to paying them a visit the next time we're up visiting Les's fam.

Back to work (blah!)...should've brought SSS today...

Life is...

Graphic courtesy of www.shamrock.org
...pokin' along...

Slow progress on the knitting this week. House is a little cluttered. They installed fresh drywall in the closet, so the next move is the city inspectors, which could happen sometime between now and when we move out, so...the complex has nothing to do with that, it's all the city, so no one to bitch to. Spent $25 freakin' dollars to get a taillight replaced on the car, but FHP's been saturating my commute of late, so there really was no way around that expense.

Weather's turned rather glorious, and since we're staying in Florida (again), I'm determined to embrace it...work outdoors this weekend, get a little (only a little!) color. We'll see how gung-ho I am about the weather come July, but right now, I can definitely handle some sunshine and high-70s.

Knitting bitches are anxiously awaiting a new arrival :) Terra's doc/midwife/etc. talked about inducing at 39 weeks, which was yesterday, so today's appointment could mark a birthday for a little girl! She told us the name last night, and the first name promptly left my brain--I think it's Kylia Siobhan; I know that middle name is correct. ruthee's a little fit to be tied that the kid could be born on St. Patty's Day, and after reading up on it on the History Channel website, not sure I blame her, but I know Terra's ready for the small one to make an appearance.

I love that I'm learning stuff like the truth about St. Patrick's Day before I have kids; it'll allow me to teach 'em both sides without confusing them. I mean, given that I was raised Christian, it only makes sense that my community would take St. Patrick's Day on its face as a good thing. I mean, when I was a little kid, we went to church almost every Sunday. It wasn't until I was in junior high that we moved to the sticks, and my folks slowed down at putting forth the effort--and even then, we went to the Protestant church in town with frequency because the pastor could sermonize without putting you to sleep, and it was all of 3 miles from the house. Cyril and I joined the choir and remained in Christian circles, so how would we know any different? Especially me, since the folks pushed to get me confirmed but slacked on my bro and sis--now there's irony for ya...I had the most formal Christian education, Meara had the least. I'm pagan, Cyril's probably agnostic, and Meara's born-again. Probably a lesson there.

Gotta get to work; I am SO freakin' glad it's Friday!!!!!

Tired

Tired, tired, tired.....

Did I mention tired?

You have no idea how sedentary you are until you're forced to socialize on a school night. It's pathetic. I've had family stuff for 3 nights now, and I'm about ready to crawl under something for hibernation. We're in the home stretch, but it's still daunting.

It started with Dad noticing the bald front tires on our car the SECOND I pulled into their driveway Saturday night, and was capped off by Grandmother and Mom J going at it before dinner last night. I fell off the wagon a bit, and that helped. We won't even discuss how I feel about that.

I've been poking along on SSS for the most part, but we found out Kara's having a girl, so I'm going to dig through the stash for appropriate yarn colors for a set of baby Uggs, as well as start the sweater, hat, booty set from that mag (the basketweave stuff), mostly in white, 'cause that's what I've got.

And we got cell phones! His folks got 'em for us :) Graphic (and activation) courtesy of Virgin Mobile™. Can't wait to figure out how to work the damn thing...

Quickie...

No, not that kind of quickie...tho' we did break a going-on-2-years dry spell on our anniversary Monday >:) aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......

Added another Snoopy dancer; he's a fav pal of mine. I used to have a t-shirt with these two on it that said something like, "It's a Security Thing." Funny that Linus is my fave next to Snoopy, and I ended up marrying a woobie addict :)

Added a Yahoo Avatar too, just for grins. The dragon is Les. The Avatar's me channeling a bit of Abby from NCIS. My God, I need a life!

Put Tasha aside, she was vexing me; concentrating on B4 and SSS this week and the heck with the rest. Won't have enough time this weekend to work on 'em anyway, need to picnic with my folks Saturday, clean house Sunday, for Les's folks coming into town for his dentist appointments. ACK! At least I can bring one (or both) of them to my folks' house for something to do if things get weird--Cyril's living at home is starting to wear on them big time. Yeesh, both sets of parents in one week; I'm gonna need a vacation after this!

I FOUND MY DINING ROOM!!!

Damnedest thing . . . hung a left at the living room and there it was! And I didn't have to destroy the neatness of the closet to do it!

Saturday was a wash after work, and Sunday found me, after a leisurely time with the paper, pondering whether I wanted to putter or nap. Life without kids is rough, lemme tellya. I only hope the shock isn't too rough when we finally get our shit together and procreate.

So shovel in hand (just kidding, but it was definitely close to that), I created more floor space in the bedroom first, and then heartened by this success, I moved onto the dining area and tucked in to work. Threw things out, boxed things up, and added more to the Hubbard House pile. Moved stuff back into the walk-in closet without sacrificing space to move in there, and putting stuff in there that'll be easy to move back out when/if they get around to gracing us with fresh drywall and a stackable washer/dryer.

And I did what I mentioned, stacked boxes and crates and pillows to create a flat enough space to lay my old corkboard on top of it. It's sweet, and by some miracle the cats are only using it for a nap spot and not a scratching board yet. Probably still too bewildered by all the shit that got moved--I took away one of Fig's nap spots on purpose, because the books underneath her spot were nasty with fur and litter crumbs. Right now, it's just a workspace, but I love it! Les vacuumed afterward, and the place is feeling downright livable and not nearly so overwhelming. Next weekend, the other two corners of the living room--his folks are coming down for dental powwows, so say some prayers that we don't have to twist Grandma's arm too hard to get Les into teeth.

Thanks so much to my KB ladies who've been thinking about me and about ways to help with my living sitch. Rest assured I did get your phone calls, I just suck at returning them. Y'all are making it a lot easier to stay in Jax :)

graphic courtesy of darkharbor.com

If at first you don't succeed, frog, frog, again...

So I started Big Bad Baby Blanket over again. Using the actual pattern.

Feel free to laugh at me, I get quite a chuckle out of it myself.

I'm having delusions of aptitude of a philanthropic nature. There's blogs out there begging for blankets for the hurricane victims (http://purlsofhope.com), and it got me thinking about the 2 bags of stash I have. When I first started this knitting gig/sickness/obsession, Steph and Ginny unloaded a monster bag of mostly acrylic on me, that they had inherited from someone. We're talking stuff with $.35 cent pricetags on it, in colors that must've been in style, oh, during the Summer of Love. But before I learned to turn my nose up at acrylic, I certainly wasn't going to look a gift yarn in the mouth, so I sorted it, 86d the saddest stuff in the bunch, and was still left with 2 BIG Panera bags of yarn.

So I've been poring over the Big Book of Knitting Stitch Patterns this week, and while avoiding work this morning, I think to myself, hey, self, what if you taught yourself those patterns by knitting swatches of each, and then knitting those squares into blankets? At the rate the government's taking care of things down there, I could actually have a blanket or two made before things stop being so dire.

I could bring a bag of the yarn to KB if other folks want to do a swatch or two with me, whaddaya think?

Helping with this burst of energy was the idea I got yesterday--stacking all the boxes that we don't normally dig into, in a formation on the left side of the dining room, and placing my old corkboard on top of them as a table. I could lay out projects, set up my sewing machine, etc. Not sure it's feasible yet, but I'm definitely digging into the dining room this weekend to find out.

Well, since I went to the trouble to go to work on a Saturday, guess I should edit a coupla more sites :(

Knitting in circles

The sucky part of knitting is when you have an armload (or roomful) of unfinished projects and it feels like you're accomplishing absolutely nothing. Yarn Harlot commented about the focus that came from working only one project for a set amount of time during the Knitting Olympics. That's what the SSS is for me right now, it's definitely the primary project; but there's also these other little bastards in the wings raising their hands for attention. Tasha...the baby blanket...the White Buffalo in its boxes quiet in the corner...the purple poncho I haven't put a stitch on in 6 months...mr. sock. For the most part I don't mind working that way; at KB, I usually have 2 or 3 projects on hand so that when I get bored with one, I have another one at the ready. But it definitely requires a level of patience with yourself. Anyone who says knitting isn't a character-building exercise must've had too much character to begin with.

This thread comes from last night, when I frogged Kara's baby blanket in favor of trying my hand at Trinity stitch (see pic, courtesy of About.com). I've really got to stop reading Wendy Knits and thinking I can emulate her work on sight. Granted, it didn't take long to master the concept of knitting 3 stitches in 1; I'm about 90% confident with myself that I had an understanding of it and that it reflected in the finished product. But that (im)patience thing got the better of me. If I try bordering the baby blanket in Trinity stitch, it'll be done around the time the kid starts school (She's due in July). It's a truly methodical stitch and I look forward to trying it out on other projects, but for this sucker, no way. However, as past entries attest, I wasn't sure seed/moss stitch was the way to go either, so I dragged out the Big Book of Knitting Stitch Patterns and decided to garter stitch the border and put a nice diamond pattern in the body. We'll see how far I get on that tonight, how many times I change my mind, etc.

The ole self pride's coming to the fore again, this time on the fiasco that is the cable braid on Tasha's trim. Definitely gonna frog down to the latest screwup and give it the old college try again. Weird how it takes me a day or two to realize that my laziness just won't do. Why can't that translate to the apartment?

Well, it will this weekend, gonna plow into the dining room and get it back to snuff, and if the money comes through, I'm gonna play in the dirt. We have an aloe plant of epic proportions that we just transplanted in the last year into a LARGE pot. It responded by growing into the sucker with a vengance, so it's definitely time to gently separate him from himselves, break him down into several vessels. Also transplanting my jade into a smaller pot, because unfortunately he's on death's door thanks to the bastard squirrels in our complex; gonna try to nurse him back to health. Fred the fern is doing ok on his own.

Why are my plants all boys? Weird...

Knitting Olympics Honorable Mention

Everything looks better in the morning. We'll stay in our current abode for another year, with the possibility out there of course, of bailing on the lease prior to its end. We're tearing into our ridiculous amount of material possessions in the coming months and organizing everything. I'm gonna recover that sofa. We're gonna need a storage space. It'll all happen in time.

Was reading Yarn Harlot today and feeling left out, until I remembered that I did create my first cable during the Knitting Olympics. Certainly not anything to take the gold medal for when you measure it against sweaters and shawls, but a personal achievement nonetheless.

The pic is Tasha, courtesy of Knitty™. That cabling across the top of the bag is what I accomplished, in a pretty dark pink, I think it's called Heather Rose (Lion Brand Wool-Ease). Now of course, ever since I goofed up said cable last week, I can't for the f*ing life of me get it set right. I've frogged back more times than I care to count, but I think I'm going to have to garter stitch the last inch or so, and pick up and knit garter stitch on the other end to make it even. This is only going to be trim for a bag for me, so I'm certainly allowed to cave to laziness if I want.

Knit an inch or so on the body last night (Wool Ease Blue Mist, kind of close to what you see here), and all I can say is knitting this sucker together is gonna be interesting. This is the one that I actually knit the gauge swatch for before starting, and it's already looking like the body's coming out wider than the bottom. So much for swatching.

Also did a row or three on the B4, before tucking into the SSS. Didn't want to put it away to hit the sack EON; I'm really loving that shawl.

If anybody has boxes they don't want/need, bring 'em to KB; I'm packing up my house anyway for organizational purposes. We just don't have the room to have stuff out, so I'm gonna shift into old Melanie mode, box and catalog our belongings, and find a way to decorate around 'em!

At loose ends

Never even picked up a needle last night. That was frustrating, could've used the distraction. Made dinner, did 4 loads of laundry (which is labor-intensive when you live in an apartment complex with no washer/dryer connections, and one dryer craps out on you so you waste a $1.50), and obsessed about the news I'd gotten from the complex office. I'd gone in to put money on the laundry card and I asked nonchalantly about if they still accept short leases. They said yes, but that then the rent would go up to market value and as of next month, they measure market value by what it'll be AFTER the renovations. That's a jump in rent of $115. Never mind that that place ain't worth it, we plain can't afford it. I just asked what rent would be if we renew for a full year and was told it would only increase $25. How can they get away with a $90 difference like that? I don't want to stay in that pit for another entire year, but we may have to. I'm not planning on kicking Les into the work force until at least May, and that's assuming we get his surgery scheduled in mid-April. I wonder if that kind of rent raise is even legal, and I'm looking into it today; kind of figuring though, that we don't have a leg to stand on.

The thing that makes me livid, is that we wouldn't know any of this if we hadn't almost gotten evicted last week. In normal circumstances, we'd have told them oh, maybe a month in advance that we planned to renew--it's what we were planning--and we'd have had no clue they were going to slap that rent raise on us. When the hell were they going to get around to telling the tenants about the renovations? When they start complaining about the noise? The lease requires 60-days' notice if you're moving out. Technically, that's today; our lease runs out end of April. I was thinking we're going to have to take an extra month probably, and pay through the nose for it, because there's no way I can make that decision in 24 hours. But if the raise for a year is only up to $610...dammit, I don't want to stay there! The place is old enough to have asbestos and lead paint clauses in the lease, and it's falling apart around us! They talk about refacing the cabinets; they have no clue how bad the cabinet interiors are obviously, because they're gonna practically have to gut the place to bring it up to snuff for the Southside. My God, I hate being in a box like this! We've dicked around on the finances way too long and painted ourselves into one helluva corner.

Sorry about the vent, gang :)

And the cat said MOOOOO!

How about a picture, courtesy of the Chinese press...I have 2 cats, Jordan and Figaro. Jordan is a brown and white Siamese mix, age 10; Fig is a black and white short hair demon, age 2. I've been captioning this one: If Jordan Ate Figaro...

Another good one might be: Evidence the Cat's Been Eating Straight from the Bag...

Knitting's poking along...if anyone read the stuff I deleted, please relax--I'm fine. Everything looks better in the morning :)

Need my LAAAAAAACCCCEEEE!!!!

I've been hesitant to bring the lace to work to work on during lunch and my breaks, for the simple reason that it still looks like it's supposed to, and the easiest way to screw that up is to try and squeeze knitting into 15-minute increments and still keep track of where you are when you start and stop.

Could use it today though...barely 10 a.m. and I'm in a snit. For details, check out My LJ blog.

I know my limitations though, too; have had raging PMS this week so last night, didn't even touch the lace, instead tried to make some headway on B4 (Big Bad Baby Blanket). Not crazy about how Sand Stitch looks different front to back, but I think I'm going to keep going to the blocks before I decide if it's worth it to frog.

A new abbreviation for SSS

Seed Stitch Sucks!

Inherited a pile o' Encore from ruthee and decided to put it to baby stuff...I have a niece or nephew making an appearance around July, goddess willing. So I start the Big Bad Baby Blanket from Stitch n' Bitch in a nice sage green (perfect camouflage for poop and puke, I figure), and discover something rather quickly. The above commment.

Embarrassing, but true. I mean, c'mon, Melanie, we're talking about seed stitch...k1, p1, repeat to end or until you pass out from boredom. It ain't brain surgery. But alas, I can't seem to keep them straight, even after checking in the SnB book for the cute little smiley-faced drawings that tell you what's a knit stitch and what's a purl (scarf vs. noose). So I rip it out, try again, rip it out, and consult my Big Book of Knitting Stitches for a cheat. Decide on Sand Stitch, which seems to be working better, but it looks like the blanket will have a definitive front and back now. ::sigh::

Will table Tasha for a bit now, so I can make some progress on this blanket, and will probably start the layette set in the white this week, because the hat and booties are easy, and a nice distraction. Also need to price 2 more skeins of Encore, I think, so I can make Kara's potential critter some baby Uggs--boy or girl, I just know she'd go apeshit over those :)

Made some nice headway on the real SSS last night, almost up to where the chart stops. Gonna let it grow quite a bit more though, before I switch to the 24s. I don't understand why knitting the lace is more relaxing than some of the other projects, but I'm sure grateful for it. I slept too much Sunday, worked Saturday, and thus, got nothing accomplished on the weekend, which usually puts me in a nice dark mood come Sunday night. But I poked along at the lace and didn't want to put it down, it was so much fun, and it actually lifted my spirits. Hope it continues to do that as the stitch numbers climb.

Some of us were tweaked at being called couch spuds in Time Magazine, in that blurb about the Knitting Olympics, but I tellya, when knitting actually helps my depression, I don't give a crap what that makes me, because I know it's doing something much more powerful than the knitting itself. That so means something to me, because while I was always the creative one in our fam, I was also least likely to shine at it, least overt at showcasing any talent. To know in my soul that something is doing me good--can it get any better than that?

Teeny, tiny whine

It is unnatural to break a sweat sitting outside having lunch in February. I don't care how beautiful it feels. I should be able to sit outside and enjoy my lunch without contracting odor.

Florida sucks.

Two comments...

So I popped over to Wendy Knits today and realized two things...

1) Her blog is not for the faint of heart. If you're currently feeling especially worthless about your ability to start, finish, or create knitting projects; if you spend time staring at your UFOs thinking, "damn, when DID I start this sucker?"; if the idea of knitting with more than one color at a time sends you into a corner in the fetal position, begging for chocolate or wine; then don't abuse yourself by reading her blog. It's unintentionally intimidating. Her subway commute notwithstanding and the fact that she's probably been knitting a helluva lot longer than I have, her projects exude a level of speed and professionalism that I aspire to oh, maybe when I'm around 50 years old.

2) That sweater that I recommended you look at, at the end of a recent entry, the black and white fair isle named Rose.....it took her......wait for it.....less than a month to knit.

We now pause so the smelling salts may take affect.

WAAAAYYYY down upon the Suwannee RIBBIT!

Muppet Show. Steve Martin guesting. Yeah, you had to be there.

Anyway, frogged the ole SSS again. If I'd continued with it in that fashion, I'd have been blocking a shawl x months from now with a big nipple in the middle. Great for Zoe. Not so great for me :)

Three rows in. So far so good. Definitely wasn't concentrating on that last one, I think I was screwing up already by row 3. Doesn't take much these days for the blonde moments to kick in.

Gonna go Dick Cheneying later for a katcha-katcha (that's where you go hunting for something, but you try to keep it a secret >:)

Dreaming of a world where I can do my job on a voice-activated computer so it frees up my hands to knit.

Feeling a little better today, thank the goddess!

the return of mr. sock!

Well, not really...but I took him out and we had a chat last night. And I turned his heel. But then I knit a couple of rows beyond the heel that definitely need to be ripped out, so it's hard to call the work a success.

This has been kind of a sucky winter. I really can't remember the last time I experienced the delicious oppression of a depressed psyche, which is why my present mood really blows. It's a tricky business, because I'm on all my prescribed doses of medication at present, so it begs the scary questions: has the Paxil's usefulness begun to wane? Do I need to decrease the lithium? Is it just SAD coupled with a horrifically cluttered apartment? Will these feelings abate if I a) get laid, b) rent a storage space and put the entire contents of my dining room in it, c) rob a bank to get Les's teeth done faster, so he can find work that much faster, d) go off my self-imposed, 2-week-old fiber diet, e) shoehorn Les off the couch and make him dig into our closet belongings and make piles......I think it's just winter blahs. Thank goodness I'm physically healthy, haven't caught the flu like everyone else I know this winter, because it's hard enough for me to get outta bed in the mornings of late...

I think I'm ripping out SSS again. It was forming this cone shape (because I still don't own a counter and seem to think that I can keep track of it because I have the pattern memorized) that might look great now, but I'm thinking will cause me problems come blocking time :(

P.S. Check out the February 13, 2006 blog entry for Wendy Knits (her link is at the left)...she finished Rose, a fair isle? of her own pattern making, and it is so completely f*cking beautiful! I want this pattern!!!

Never say never!

I frogged it.

36 rows. Around and around.

And something weird happened.

I didn't mind.

I'll never forget the time ruthee frogged my sock sock back to the heel turn. It was painful, I remember reaching for it once or twice and saying, no, really, you can stop there.

This time, nothing but determination. I started unknitting, but within 2 or 3 sections, I could see the futility. I'm just not skilled enough to unknit that much lace and think it's going to come out ok. There were 3 sections out of 8 that needed work, and I've been knitting exactly what, a year and some change? I've yet to pick up a crochet hook to grab a stray loop, and I barely believe in gauge. I looked at it and thought of the finished product and said to myself, don't you want it to look right? This isn't like a garter stitch scarf in Homespun, where if you make a mistake, no one will ever notice; this is a deliberate pattern and you have strayed rather succinctly. Well, that sounds like me but I doubt I actually had that whole conversation in my head. Heh, well, then again...

So I frogged and after 2 false starts, I have something back on the needles. I can't wait to go home and work on it some more. The weather's perfect, a cool drizzly rain, nothin' to do but clean house, do laundry, and knit once I get done with this blasted half day of work.

To frog or not to unknit...

Yeah, right. We're talking lace here. There's no frickin' way I'm frogging.

Unknitting might be another story however. I was poking along at my buddy Mr. Lace last night. At home because the car was outta gas and the account was outta cash, so I had to bail on KB :( I'm poking along and I realize I can recognize when the K2tog occurs, so I can stop counting every little stitch. Yeah, well, gave myself a wee bit too much credit because to look at it a couple of rows later, it's obvious there are some f*ckups. Great, now what? I was thinking of letting it go, since this is my first lace project and is only getting worn by me, but my knitting pride seems to have been getting the better of me after I sleep on these issues, because I'm pondering it this morning and thinking I have some unknitting ahead of me.

This is good though. This isn't me being a perfectionist (which I always fear, since I was one for a long time); it's, like I said, pride. This yarn color is pretty, the pattern is neat, and I'm enjoying this project immensely; why shouldn't I want it to come out right? Now I just wish I didn't have 7 hours of real work (website editing) ahead of me, because I'd love to jump in on the unknitting. I think it'll only be 4 rows tops. What sucks is I know some sections are perfect while others aren't, so I hate having to unknit the correct sections in order to fix the incorrect ones, but I know I'll be happier with the finished product, so there's that to look forward to. I may go at this slower than some of the other gals in the group, but the finished product is definitely something I'll be proud of. :)

More pondering

Much as I'd like to learn to spin, I just can't see that it's something that I would derive satisfaction from. Thanks to my meds, I've learned a wealth about patience in recent years. I can spend an hour in traffic singing to myself; used to want to rip the steering wheel off its column when I hit gridlock. But the first time the roving pulls apart, I just know I'd be ready to send a spinning wheel clear across the room.

Not giving myself enough credit? Probably. I did ok with the White Buffalo, and that stuff seems to pull apart out of spite, right when you are cruising at a decent clip.

Still, I'm more curious about looms. Of course, any acquisition of materials would have to occur after we've moved into a house, because even a table loom would be too much for our current busting-at-the-seams abode. But they're interesting to me. Yet another thing to take me outside of my head, which right now wouldn't be a bad thing. It's been a bad week, but the calm that comes from working the lace is different than regular knitting somehow. I spent yesterday recovering from a particularly low point, and I knew better than to work the body of Tasha, because it's standard stockinette and would have me bored within seconds. The lace requires counting and accuracy, and working in the round is calming somehow. ruthee, or whomever, picked a good pattern, because I know that's not the case with all lace--ruthee can't even mention the Pi shawl without adding an expletive to the statement :) But the not-quite-repetitive nature of the SSS is giving me rewards when it's still in toddler stage (I only just hit row 36). And right now that's something I need, so I'm grateful.

Accomplishment on 2 levels

Meet Alexa and Maria, the only living proof willing to admit that Melanie can knit!

Well, not entirely true, I suppose...my mom just got a shawl for her birthday...whether she's worn it or not though, ...

Granted, there are those who look upon us Florida knitters as needing our heads examined, which is why Alexa and Maria are the perfect models. Hailing from Salem, Massachusetts, where if the snow doesn't kick your ass, then the wind off the water will, this getup may still look a little funny, but I'll bet it keeps Maria snug in her sling. This was a standard rectangular poncho with Vneck in White Buffalo Straw and Persimmon; I cribbed ideas from about 3 different patterns, because it was my first time working with White Buffalo so I was inexperienced at shaping with that type of yarn, and in retrospect, I'll use larger needles next time.

Hey A, would it be warmer if you stitched the sides together and left armholes? The thing already feels like one of those Xray capes, but, just pondering...

The second level of accomplishment I'm referring to is the SSS. Had Imbolc stuff Saturday and Saturday night, worked a couple of hours Sunday morning, and did some baking after a nap Sunday afternoon. Once the Super Bowl started, I finally sat down with the ole SSS and studied/counted whether any damage I'd done was irreparable. Nope, looked ok, only one section off a stitch. Hole in the middle's a little big, but it's nothing I can't fiddle with later. I decided to transfer it to the 16" 7s, even though I was only about 12 rows in, because I really didn't trust myself too well with the dpns--even the 8s have you feeling like you've acquired at least 3 extra thumbs. Transferred and started knitting and something wonderful happened: I started to see the pattern in the yarn! Such relief! I mean, seriously, my first attempt was so funny, it would've been one of those ruthee moments of "here, let me just frog this for you to oh, row 6!" Since I'm knitting this for me, I don't mind if there's some fudgy spots, but I certainly don't want it laughable. But there's actual curves occurring. The tough part is the pattern's so easy to remember, I was forgetting to count my rows--I'd think I was at 13 when I was actually already up to 17--and I never bought a katcha-katcha, so it meant some careful counting once or twice, but I'm not confused by it anymore! ::snoopy dance::

Oh my...I'm a website editor and just came across a slogan that's begging to be shared.

For an old-fashioned soda fountain and ice cream shop:
Friends don't let friends lick alone.

Please forward comments to Robbie & Michelle at www..... :)

SSS Started!!!

I did it!
Totally cheated, but it's started, and already ready for the 16" circs. Too bad I don't have 'em.

I say I cheated because I did the first 4 rows straight, then joined it and weaved it together using the tail. It'll probably look like crap, and the center hole's a little big right now, but I'm sure I can fix it when the time comes. It's not going to look like anything until I get it on the circulars anyway.

Now just gotta find the 16s, they don't carry 'em in size 8 at JoAnn's @ St. Johns TC, and I don't think my Michael's even carries Clover yet, which I'd prefer. May have to go to AC Moore, because I'm looking for a place that'll exchange an extra set of 13s for the 8s.

Ok, it's official, I'm a bonehead...I have 16" size 7s, I'm almost positive, bought 'em when I made the grey hat. Why don't I just downsize? Slightly smaller stitches will help me recognize the pattern better as it develops anyway. Will investigate further tonight.

Perspective

Things always look a little better on the downslope of a day. Which makes no sense when you consider I'm going home to the clutterpile that is my home and the source of such frustration. Still...

Saw two good ones on blogs today...the first one was the term "procrastinatrix." Oh. My. God. So. Me.

The other one's a joke...hear the one about the argument between the masochist and the sadist?
The masochist kept saying, "beat me, beat me!"
The sadist said, "no."

::grin::

That one reminds me of one I heard in college...
How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?




Fish.




"No, she's not a Picasso. If she was a Picasso, she'd have 3 tits."
Billy Crystal, City Slickers

Yup, definitely feeling better. If I can't get the cast-on tonight, then darn it, I'm going to try a different pattern. I've never been one to follow the herd, well, not on my current medication anyway, so maybe I should try a different shawl. The book A Gathering of Lace is just gorgeous and offers a lot of options for all levels of expertise.

CAUTION: Coffee hasn't kicked in yet.....

Warning: this post contains whine. Do not drive a car or operate heavy machinery after consuming this post.

My name is Melanie. I'm in a rut.

Hi, Melanie...

It's only partly of my own making at present. The apartment complex I live in decided to give us washer/dryer connections about 6 months ago. About 2 months ago, they got down to brass tacks and sent independent contractors in to tear up drywall and rewire the joint. This meant taking 7 years worth of detritus from our bedroom closet and placing it elsewhere. We live in 800 square feet with an above-average amount of furniture and 2 cats. Needless to say, it's feeling a little cluttered.

Now, apparently, the rewiring was done incorrectly and needs to be redone before the city inspectors come to give the go-ahead for placement of said washer/dryer. The complex keeps sending us letters warning us that the contractors will be coming to work, and then they don't show. Meanwhile, we're supposed to keep the closet reasonably empty so they can work.

I've already done one Goodwill run, well, Hubbard House, and it's obvious that another purging and reorganization needs to occur soon. I dabbled with the idea of getting rid of some of the furniture, but it's all good stuff that just needs a replacement cushion here, some recovering there...Quite simply, before this closet mess occurred, we were already outgrowing the apartment. We have a couch, a loveseat, 2 upholstered chairs of sorts, 3 bookcases, the dining room with computer table, 4 end tables (2 of which I loathe because they're nothing but dust catchers), 3 coffee tables (because Les and I are dumpster divers), and various other sundries. We received a king-size bed last year from his folks, and now with the way the closet clothes have spilled into the bedroom, it's no wonder I feel like I can barely move in there.

And it doesn't help that Les and I have turned into a couple of lazy slobs.

What brought on this rant? This week I've been reading other people's blogs. Exciting, interesting tales of busy lives replete with kids, spinning, knitting, working with a loom, raising bunnies for the fur, graduate theses, law school, and starting seeds for gardening, and it's brought home full-force how much I want to do in this life, and how much I'm allowing this rut to take the place of those dreams. It leaves me restless and ornery, but doesn't leave me energized enough to do anything about it at the end of a mind-numbing day of website editing. I got home last night a little later than normal, made dinner, contemplated baking some bread, came to my senses, pulled out the knitting to try casting on for SSS again, gave up after 2 tries and switched to Tasha, did a handful of rows and moved onto starting Tasha's cable edging in Heather Rose, which required working from both ends of the skein because I'm double-stranding it, which resulted in a hellish tangle that I spent the better part of an hour trying to remedy while watching "Lackawanna Blues," only to have it frustrate me to the point of cutting it and giving a ball of knots to the cat to play with.

I feel so spent sometimes, and I don't even have kids. Part of it may be my body still rebounding from 2½ days without one of my meds last week, and we won't even go into how much more energy I'd have if I'd just get out and walk every day...

So when you're this cluttered in your home life, it stands to reason that you're going to feel cluttered elsewhere in your life too. And it's not like I'm overextending myself. I go out exactly 1 night a week, and my weekends are usually clear. But I don't make good use of the time I have, and I'm losing patience with the fact that I need to hang onto my patience just a little while longer. I completely understand that Les is afraid to look for work; if I had his teeth, it would pain me to leave the house. And with a little luck and a lot of Grandma's money, we only have to stand on our heads, as my dad would say, for another 2 months or so. I can certainly handle that. Just need to remind myself of that a little more often, I guess. And knit up a storm in the meantime, to keep from eating my frustration.

So...
Knitting tonight
Personal ritual for Imbolc tomorrow night
CUUPs ritual and potluck Saturday night
Super Bowl Sunday

If I can steer clear of OT at work, Saturday day is clear except for throwing together something in the casserole department for that night. And Sunday's wide open til 6ish and even after; it's not like I need undivided attention on the game. Time to stop whining and get a little work done.