Recognizing

I'm fairly certain the only way I'm going to survive the holidays without becoming emotionally unspooled is via better time management and organization.

Pretty sure everyone feels that way about the holidays at one time or another.

It mainly has to do with family drama that I would like to choose not to subscribe to. I think that with a little meditation and positive energy, I may be able to avoid it the way I want to; but I need to start practicing now.

*****

I went on an interview today. Pretty sure it helped me realize a couple of things. I can't be objective about the impression I delivered to the individuals with whom I was interviewing, but I can recognize that there's nothing wrong with feeling like I work better from home than in an office. If I am lucky enough to get the position, I will certainly step up and brush off my people skills. We need the cash, and I can certainly use the experience. But I also recognize that it's completely OK if I don't get it, and that I do have the intelligence and motivation necessary to improve my situation, without necessarily going back into an office. There are stories out there I can write about. I have ideas that could become book proposals. I even have it in me to self-publish, if I don't want to bother with rejections.

I have a voice. I'm still shaping it, wondering how the heck to take all the thoughts in my head and whittle them down to focused topics, but it's there.

*****

Check out Melanie's Gym and Dark Meadow for the latest on those rooms in my psyche. And when you have a moment, send some prayers out into the universe for some very special people. One is a personal friend who is struggling with COPD. The other is a friend of my sister's, who is going through rather horrific, life-threatening complications from pneumonia and childbirth.

My friend with the COPD is in her 70s. My sister's friend is maybe 30.

I guess it's always going to be natural to take life a little bit for granted, until your world is rocked by your own health failures or the failures of those close to you. But it's no less shocking either way. As I mention in Melanie's Gym, I'm achy this evening and while I don't think it's gall bladder-related, it's still a very loud wake-up call ringing in my head about the changes I still have to make, to obtain more improved health. While I've been a little complacent this week about diet and exercise, a woman who had to deliver early because of the flu, gave birth to a beautiful little girl who's doing well. She then had breathing issues that could not be improved, so they life-flighted her to UAB where she has been fighting for her life ever since. The baby was their 6th IVF treatment.

I'm a pagan, so I rage against a god that gives us these kinds of tests. But I also believe in the power of prayer, mainly because it's the only thing to do in situations like these. I'm not a doctor, I don't even know the family. But I can get down on my knees, literally or figuratively, and pray to whatever universal entity is out there, to please let this woman live, so she may know motherhood and continue the beautiful life she has with her husband.

Image from here.