Independence

Quite a bit rolling through the brainpan this morning...

Had another dream with Ashley in it last night. Relax, I'm not going stalker on her; wasn't even a real dream, just rough cuts like from a film. But I woke up and immediately realized why I was dreaming about her...because she's living the life I want. Nice piece of land, sizeable garden, chicken coop, raising a small person. I woke up determined to re-examine our credit, because I don't want to be sitting here 4 months from now, wondering why I'm getting turned down right and left for housing up in SC.

Then I got to work, started trolling my blogs, and Jenna's big announcement was published. She thinks she's able to quit her job and live off the farm. I'm not doubting her; I just hope that if she does find herself bagging groceries in the winter to make ends meet, that she'll be kind to herself. The task she has set before her is huge, even with 3 books producing what have to be modest royalty checks. But it's an idyllic notion that so many of us have, the ability to live without dragging your arse to an office everyday. I turned my chair after reading that post, looked out the window at the forced-planted trees that border the hospital driveway across the retention pond from my office. I hate it here so much. The job is good, but I want different, so much different from how I live now.

I'm glad I'm knocking out my OT during the week. I need the weekend, 2 days off, to not think about websites, to think about our goals and how we're going to achieve them. It's going to take more than the nest egg; there needs to be credit repair performed for institutions to take a chance on us. I will not let us get to the end of this year with no chance still of getting up there. I'm getting too old to just sit and continue to let my dreams pass us by.

Image from here.