Just keep swimming...

It's so easy to let life live you a bit, rather than you feeling like you're totally in charge....yeah, like we have any control over the grand scheme...but I wax existential. That's how the last couple of days have been. In my defense, I'm hormonal, but still...

Still doing well. I definitely do better with a little structure though, say, with a work day. I allow the clock and my tummy to dictate when I eat, and that's easier at work. Weekend (and payday) proved a pinch more difficult to eat healthy, but I did pretty well for myself and the scale tells the tale (yeah, you didn't really believe I'd stay off the sucker, didya?).

Exercise is trickier...I did 2 miles on Saturday morning, which felt fantastic, but also told me I walk better on the treadmill. Much as I adore the outdoors, my gait issues demand a rhythm while I'm this big, and walking on the access road, I definitely didn't pay close enough attention to my stride because my knees were achy for days afterward. I've been listening to music to help the time go by while exercising, but I just monitor myself better on the treadmill - like I've said, it faces the window, allows me to watch myself, my whole body, as I move. So I took a couple of days off after that...plus the aforementioned hormonal symptoms, which bring aches down both legs as I get close to the monthly fun. No more excuses though, tonight I'm doing a load of laundry and 45 minutes on the bike or 30 on the treadmill.

Our money issues demand a little menu planning lately. Last night we did tilapia, and this morning I prepped a pot roast into the crock pot that we'll eat off of for the next couple of days.

We're barely making ends meet, and I don't know how the hell we're going to manage the holidays. I hate the idea of giving people only baked gifts, but that's just pride talking...I know it's perfectly fine to give of yourself this way...it's just hard to reconcile after years of being with a family that likes to go all out for the holidays (his...ah, mine too, now that Dad's gone, but you feel less guilt on foisting said baked goods onto your own family, ya know...)...even though we've all trimmed back in recent years...still, I need to get away from the tube and get in front of the sewing machine; there are several ideas percolating in my head for small sewn gifts that wouldn't cost much at all. I'm in the spirit, in spite of the money woes, though I refuse to wear my xmas earrings or sing a carol until November 26 :)