Dear Boss,

I certainly empathize with anyone who feels restless stuck behind a desk. I'm a professional fidgeter and twiddler myself, since decreasing my meds...swear I'm gonna go 'round the bend sometimes stuck at a desk job, just don't have the patience for all that sitting still. Your career prior to this job was the U.S. Navy, so certainly there's going to be some adjustment to the boredom of corporate America.

However, our area is nice and quiet now that we're in the new building, and if you don't stop drumming your fingers on your desk, I'm going to have to come into your cube and break all your fingers.

Sincerely...